"Oh, yeah." He pointed right. "See how much larger the planets are? The red one there is Mars, and the green one over there, that"s Jupiter."
Lori slumped in the seat and savored the beauty. She"d seen some of the world"s greatest works of art growing up, had met the artists firsthand and watched them create, watched her own artist parents pour their souls onto canvas.
This beat it all, hands down. "Thank you for dragging me out of there today so I could see this."
"You"re welcome."
Silence returned, heavy and full, pulsing syrupy need through her veins. The tiny quarters, dim lighting, scenic night sky, and her weary defenses didn"t help one bit.
Gray flipped a switch before easing his hand from the stick. The plane glided on smoothly. "Why did you really come up here, Lori?"
He knew her too well, and that swirled a mix of alarm and excitement within her. "To thank you. To say goodbye without a big audience."
Gray looked away and tapped the CD resting beside him. "And now that you have?"
He slipped the disk on his finger and spun it with an almost exaggerated focus. As if he couldn"t face her. She understood that well enough. Seeing him made reasonable thought tough enough.
Instead she watched a streak of light across the sky. Northern lights, perhaps? She stared and whispered, "How do I wake up in the morning and forget we spent the day together?"
Her words hung between them like the stars, vibrant, alive, hot.
"The same way we"ve gone through every day this year." He stopped the disk, set it aside, and flipped two switches on the instrument panel. "Except I"ll be sitting on Bronco this go-round."
Confusion pushed through her exhaustion. "Bronco?"
"So he and the rest of the crew won"t pull another stunt like this one."
"Stunt? Help me out here. Sleep deprivation must be making me slow. I"m not understanding what you"re saying."
"The whole scheduling change." His jaw flexed. "They set us up."
Her body tingled, her ears echoing with the first thrummings of realization. "Set us up."
"Oh, yeah. They"re probably laughing their a-" he glanced at her "-laughing their b.u.t.ts off over this one."
Hurt, anger and too many emotions she didn"t dare explore churned overtime. She straightened in her seat. "This whole day has been a big joke."
He whipped the CD off the console and slapped it into a case. "Crew dogs never miss a chance to pull one over."
"And of course you think this is funny." Her voice tightened. Her eyes stung.
"h.e.l.l, no."
She continued as if he hadn"t spoken, "Of all the immature BS I"ve ever heard."
"Hey, simmer down." His mouth kicked up with a pacifying smile.
Major Smiles-and-No-Confrontation-Please would just have to suck this one up. "Don"t defend their sixth-grade prank." She blinked back the weak tears. "All good intentions aside, they meddled in my life, and I don"t appreciate it. And neither should you."
"I don"t. But it"s over and done with. Working yourself into a frenzy doesn"t change a thing. Lighten up, Lori."
"Grow up, Gray." She snapped without thinking. But then that was the whole point. Arguing was instinctive for them. She pressed two fingers to her temple. "Sorry. That sort of remark pretty much negates my thanks. I guess old habits are hard to break."
Gray"s hand fell to rest on her knee with the familiarity of old lovers, his eyes gentle as his light squeeze. "At least we"ve made it a little easier to get up in the morning."
And forget? The heat of his hand on her knee made a lie of his words. Her body refused to forget the gentle rasp of his hands along her bare skin, the caress of his mouth against the vulnerable curve of her neck, the shimmer while unraveling in his arms.
But then her body wasn"t as smart as her heart.
They couldn"t build a relationship on great s.e.x alone. Heaven knew they"d tried. And failed.
She didn"t bother knocking his hand aside. She simply stood so it fell away. "Goodbye, Gray."
Lori shoved away from the seat just as Bronco returned. She clenched her jaw rather than speak words that wouldn"t change a thing. Like Gray said, the damage was already done. Just how much damage, she didn"t want to consider until she"d slept at least eighteen hours straight and faced the morning alone.
Bronco lumbered into his seat, glancing from Gray to Lori and back again. "Yeah right, you two are history."
*** Gray hefted his bag and loped down the hatch steps. Lights flooded the Charleston Air Force Base runway, haloing a neon umbrella in the evening dark.
It was over.
The children would complete in-processing and meet their new families. He would go back to his work with patients and regular missions.
Two days ago that might have been enough. But seeing Lori again had started something akin to a spark on a parachute. Would his feet find ground before the whole d.a.m.ned thing burst into flames?
His best bet would be to haul out, fast.
Except he couldn"t dodge the sensation he was forgetting something. A glance around the flight line didn"t ease the feeling. Buses crowded the tarmac to transport the children. An NGO worker directed human traffic flow.
No Lori.
Past time to hit the road, he reminded himself.
Hanging out with Lori any longer would only leave him more frustrated. And he was mighty frustrated already. Just a by-product of a year without s.e.x, of course. Not because he"d spent thirty hours wanting Lori and her peach-scented body wrapped around him.
He forced his eyes front and walked toward the crew bus. Noises meshed around him- engine whines and barked commands blended with children crying. Other children hung limp, sleeping against an adult shoulder while military personnel boarded them on the buses.
No Lori and her little Magpie.
Keep walking. His job was done. He needed sleep and a bandage for his leg. No need to risk starting something with her that he wouldn"t have time to finish before he moved.
Gray stared up into the bus and resisted the urge to look over his shoulder. He and Lori didn"t need more goodbyes. She would have her hands full transferring the kids, especially the one screaming up a blue streak. It sounded as if someone needed sleep as much as he did.
An image of Lori sagging against the copilot"s seat flashed to mind. Beautiful, drowsy, exhausted.
Another spark flamed on his mental parachute.
She always pushed herself harder than a normal person. Lori"s job wouldn"t he complete until the last kid had a safe place to sleep.
Gray planted a hand on the bus and hung his head. Three deep breaths later he turned around. What was one more hour without shut-eye? She"d needed so much more from him than he could give a year ago. He could give her this now, an hour to help out and speed the in-processing.
His eyes scanned the bustling tarmac for Lori.
Shrieks beyond a small crowd increased. Lori would be there, of course, fixing the problem. Gray dodged and wove until he found her cradling a screaming Magda.
Little Magpie had found her voice.
A military nurse in fatigues gripped Magda"s shoulders, attempting to lift her from Lori"s arms. Like a spider monkey, Magda held tight and cried gulping sobs. Her bandanna-clad head nestled firmly in the crook of Lori"s neck. The Barbie clutched in Magda"s fist tangled in Lori"s unraveling braid.
Gray plowed forward. "Lori. Lori!"
She turned, wisps of hair flying around her face. Pure exhaustion lined her face. Unshed tears clouded her eyes as her gaze met his. Grat.i.tude mingled with those tears.
His whole d.a.m.ned parachute went up in flames.
Fatigue fell away. He wasn"t going anywhere, anytime soon. Gray dropped a hand on Magda"s head. "Problem?"
"She doesn"t want to go." Lori"s voice quivered. "And I can"t make her understand."
That tiny quiver slayed him, coming from a woman who never lost control. His hand fell from Magda"s head to the small of Lori"s back. She felt too soft and warm under his palm. "She may never understand, and she shouldn"t have to, but you"re going to have to let her go eventually."
"I know." One blink would have set those tears free. She didn"t blink.
Lori would go down with a fight.
d.a.m.n but he wanted to fight this battle for her. "You paved the way for me all day. Maybe I can ease this one along for you."
She swallowed heavily, still didn"t blink. "Thank you."
Gray ducked eye level with Magda. "Hey, Magpie."
Her little muscles bulged as her arms locked around Lori"s neck. But she stopped crying. Wide brown eyes looked at him with a wary hope that sliced right through him.
Couldn"t he fly combat instead? Perform an appendectomy or two? Either would be easier.
Gray cupped Magda"s head as he mumbled rea.s.suring words she wouldn"t understand. Slowly her grip slackened. He talked, his hands sliding around to grip Magda"s waist.
Tiny arms and legs vice-gripped Lori.
Lori trembled. Gray wasn"t feeling all that steady, either. Carefully he pried Magda free one arm at a time. The child was so small, so d.a.m.ned delicate with fever heating her fragile body.
Magda grabbed a fistful of Lori"s hair. "No!"
A hoa.r.s.e laugh tore at his chest. "Fine time to talk, little one."
Lori"s trembling turned into teeth-chattering shaking. "Maybe I should ride over in the bus with her."
Then Lori would get off the bus, following Magda until her tired body fell over.
The best he could do for Lori and Magda was to make the separation quick, like jerking off a Band-Aid, except no way in h.e.l.l would this one be painless. "It"s not going to be any easier an hour from now, if you can even last that long. You"re dead on your feet now. Let go, honey."
"Okay." Lori"s voice trembled almost as much as her hands.
Gently as he could, he pulled Magda from Lori"s arms. "Come on, kiddo."
The Barbie snagged in Lori"s hair, extending her unraveling braid in a link between the woman and child until finally the roped hair fell lank against Lori.
"No!" Magda cried again, arms extended.
Lori lurched forward, her arms reaching to yank Magda back. Gray sidestepped and pa.s.sed the child to a waiting nurse. Pivoting quickly, he caught Lori against his chest. "Hang tough. You"ll only make it worse if you take her back now."
For the first time in a year, he held Lori, fitting her to him with a familiarity that should have sent them both running in the opposite direction. She stood stiff and shaking against him. Her hair caressed his chin, teased his nose with hints of peaches and tears.
He dealt with people in pain every day. He wouldn"t call himself callous, but doctors had to develop a level of objectivity to survive.
Objectivity wasn"t even an option.
Over Lori"s head he could only watch the nurse carry Magda to the bus. She stared back at him over the nurse"s shoulder, brown eyes wide with betrayal as she cried out her lone English word. "No! No!"
Lori squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her face to Gray"s neck. Cupping the back of her head as he had Magda"s, he swallowed heavily and tried to calm Lori with mumbled words, soothing strokes. Inadequate offerings.
Lori"s trembling built, and Gray held tighter until her first sob broke through, harsh and full. His arms tightened around her. He"d never seen her cry. Not even during their last fight before she"d left him.
He threaded his fingers through her hair and tipped his head back to stare up into the night sky. The stars seemed to wink back at him. Not a chance of escaping here, pal.
"Let me go." She twisted in his arms.
He held strong, afraid she might dart out onto the busy flight line. "In a minute. You"re tired and-"
"If you call me hysterical, I"ll rip your head off. Just let me go." She cried, kicked his shin, cried some more.
He winced at the jab to his leg from her foot and sucker punch to his gut from her tears. But he kept smoothing his hand over her hair until Magda"s cries waned with the retreating bus.
Lori thumped a fist against his shoulder with only half the force she could have. "d.a.m.n you. d.a.m.n your bandannas and Beatles. And d.a.m.n you for making me miss your smiles all over again."
Her drumming fist slowed. Her words pounded through him with double the power as she sagged in his arms.
The activity on the flight line dwindled to a hum in his ears. She simply lay against him- peaches, sweat and softness.
He stroked back flyaway strands of her hair. "It"s gonna be okay, honey."
"G.o.d, Gray, I wish for once it really could be that simple." Her breath mingled with his.
"Her new family will be spoiling her rotten by morning. With any luck, she"s young enough to forget."
If only he could say the same for himself. Gray knew without question he would never forget the disillusionment he"d seen in Magda"s eyes. A look too much like the one he"d found in his father"s eyes years ago.
Gray"s arms tightened. He stared down at Lori"s beautiful mouth and needed to make her smile more than he needed to sleep. And he needed sleep mighty d.a.m.ned bad.