Gray winced at the conversational leap, his mind catching up even though his stomach still lurched as if he"d pitched off the swing.
His father"s brows knit together. "In some ways the box was good, because they left you alone as long as you were in there. Then it got hot. And you needed some distraction. I came home in my mind."
Gray tried to relax his fists. He knew all about the box, a crate about the size of a dog carrier, but without a window.
His time in survival training had included a stint in a mock POW camp. How many days he"d spent there, he"d never known. He"d had no watch, and most of the time was spent with loudspeakers blaring away any hope of sleep. He"d been marched through a h.e.l.lish regimen meant to prepare flyers for possible capture.
Definitely h.e.l.l, and he"d had the rea.s.surance that he would be leaving soon. Hours spent in the box had given him too much time to think about what his father had been through, a torture beyond any the instructors could have doled out.
Gray studied his father. What could he say, though, Hey, Dad, I pulled a weekend stint in one of those, so I understand your pain? He let his father talk.
"When I came home in my head, you and I sat out under that tree, and I taught you about the stars. Sometimes we pitched a ball around." His eyes fogged with a distant look, as if seeing long-ago days. "Other times I told you things you needed to know, things a father should tell his son. I may have been in that box, but I couldn"t stop being your dad."
The words slammed on top of so many memories of waiting for his father to come home, the years after when he"d felt he lost his dad altogether. How strange to get his old man back right before a move cross country. "Dad, it means a-"
His father held up a hand. "Funny thing was, once I got home, I didn"t do all those things with you like I"d planned. I was still stuck in that box, more so than when I was back over there." He turned to face Gray. "Son, you"ve put yourself in a box."
"What?" When had this become about him? Not three seconds ago they were discussing his father.
"Just because you"re in that box doesn"t mean you can stop loving Lori and that little girl."
Their eyes met and Gray looked, really looked, and found his father for the first time in nearly thirty years. His eyes were clear, sharp. Familiar. And too wise.
His father blinked, shifted away, scrubbing a hand along his bristly face, a five-o"clock shadow speckling even at ten in the morning. He cleared his throat, the gruff old man back in place. "A couple of sessions and I"m turning into some d.a.m.n Sigmund Freud." He stood and stretched as if they"d done no more than pa.s.s a leisurely chat about ball scores. "Time for my afternoon walk. Been good talking to you, son."
His father lumbered down the steps, retracing his regular path along the water.
Gray"s gaze slid away and down to his hands clasped loosely between his knees. He"d faced combat, flown countless missions in hazardous conditions without a qualm, yet his hands trembled at thoughts of commitment. Not some live-in offer or pathetic proposal no woman worth her salt would accept. But a real commitment.
Could his old man have been right? Had Gray put himself in a box? Lori couldn"t reject his love if he never offered it. She couldn"t turn away from him as his father had done.
His father had been one hundred percent correct.
Churning his father"s words around in his mind, Gray welcomed a flash of grat.i.tude toward his dad after so many years of bitterness. Too often Gray had only seen the tension between them from his mother"s side.
Today he"d stood with his father, as parent and child, as a fellow serviceman.
Now it was time to stand with Lori. No more running.
Denying he loved Lori didn"t make it any less real. And he"d let her slip away again.
Gray yanked his cell phone from his back pocket and punched in Lori"s number. He wouldn"t actually propose over the phone, but he could start the wheels rolling with an apology, followed by- "h.e.l.lo," a voice that definitely wasn"t Lori answered.
Had he dialed the wrong number? "h.e.l.lo?"
"Gray? Hi. This is Julia."
"Julia?" d.a.m.n, he felt like a parrot. "Could I speak to Lori?"
"She"s not here. I"m baby-sitting Magda."
Gray stifled a useless punch of disappointment. He would see her soon. He wasn"t letting her get away this time.
"Where is she?"
The phone crackled in the silence.
"Julia?"
"She"s up at the courthouse. Today"s the hearing date for Magda"s custody."
"Oh, well I"m sure she"ll be glad to have the official paperwork all tied up."
"Didn"t she tell you? The couple that backed out on taking Magda changed their mind. They want her."
A roar of denial echoed in Gray"s brain. He couldn"t have heard right. Lori was Magda"s mother. How dare anyone threaten that?
"Listen, Gray, I"ve got to go. Magda"s trying to pour her own juice. I"ll have Lori call you. Okay? Bye."
The humming phone weighed in his hand like a brick of guilt. His family needed him, and he wasn"t there for them. He and Lori may not have said formal vows, but that woman was still his wife, the only woman he"d ever loved. Lori might not be pregnant with his baby, but she still carried his daughter in her arms.
Sharing a last name didn"t make a family. Seeing Lori and Magda together should have taught him that. In his heart, Lori and Magda were already his family. He just needed to wage the fight of his life to win them back.
Battle mind-set in place as surely as if he"d slipped on his combat gear, Gray punched in another phone number.
Time to call in the reinforcements.
Chapter 17.
Lori sat in the courtroom and prayed. Hard. She stared at the scales of justice behind the judge"s bench and prayed the balance would tip her way. Lori swiped her sweaty palms along her linen skirt-again.
She"d presented her case, offered references, cited her training and psychologist"s reports, but it still might not be enough. She lacked the one thing that the other pet.i.tioner for custody didn"t.
A spouse.
And just her luck, she"d drawn Judge Tradd, a hard-liner, hotshot young judge, infamous for her decisions in favor of more traditional placements. Lori could only hope her countersuit pet.i.tion to adopt would relay her serious intent to be a mother to Magda. Forever.
Lori"s head throbbed. Crying her eyes out all night over losing Gray, possibly losing Magda as well, hadn"t helped.
The husband and wife in turn droned on in their reb.u.t.tal about their Barbie dollhouse perfect world, complete with a little brother or sister on the way. Lori wanted to grab the guy by his Ralph Lauren tie and shake him until his shiny, capped teeth rattled.
Where had they been when Magda had needed them weeks ago? They hadn"t been putting stickers on a Big Wheel. No bandanna waited in that man"s pocket for a shorn little head. The woman hadn"t held that same tiny head and bathed Magda"s brow while she"d been sick.
But in the eyes of the court they were a real family. And Lori wasn"t.
Should she have accepted Gray"s offer, for Magda"s sake? Lori shoved aside the absurd notion. Magda deserved the best home life, not parents in a sham marriage destined to fail.
Lori had always prided herself on managing. She could handle anything. Except this. She needed help, yet had set up her life with very little in the way of a personal support system. Through her friendship with Julia, she felt she"d made a step in the right direction, but it could be too little too late for Magda.
Please, G.o.d. She hoped Magda wouldn"t pay the price for someone else"s mistakes. Lori started praying again as the judge listened to final arguments from the attorneys.
Why didn"t some guard or bailiff quiet those people in the hall? The paneled walls bounced every grating noise Lori"s way.
Commotion from the hall swelled, like the throbbing in her head, increased like the frown on the judge"s face. Lori shot a look over her shoulder just as the door cracked open enough for the bailiff to poke his head in.
"Judge, we"ve got a situation out here."
Judge Tradd waved her hands, robes fluttering like bat wings. "Then handle it."
"Well, Judge, I"d like to, but they"re mighty insistent. This guy says-"
The door swung wide. The bailiff pivoted as if to stop another adult. Instead, a child shot past. Julia knelt, shooing the squealing girl forward. "Run, Magda. Go to Mama, baby."
Lori rose from her wooden chair ready to catch Magda sprinting down the center aisle full-tilt.
"Yori!" Magda tripped over her trailing shoe lace and fell into Lori"s arms.
Worry pushed through her headache. Something must be wrong for Julia to have let Magda sneak past in violation of the law. Lori gathered up Magda, inhaling the precious scent of baby shampoo, and stood. She paused halfway.
Silhouetted in the doorway stood Gray.
Sounds dwindled around her-the dim din of protest from the other attorney, gasps from the couple, a call for order from the judge. Lori ignored it all as she finished rising, staring at the man filling the door and her heart.
Gray.
Not just her regular heart-stopping Gray in a flight suit. He wore his service dress blues. Silver wings with a star gleamed above ribbons stacked down the left side of his jacket. Wheel cap tucked under his arm, Gray strode into the courtroom.
And he wasn"t alone. Filing behind him with military precision trailed Bronco, Lance and Julia, the squadron commander, Tag and his family.
Gray"s parents.
They all slid into the rows behind Lori, like a wall of support, with Gray standing citadel beside them in the aisle. Lori pulled Magda closer and reminded herself to breathe.
Judge Tradd raised a silencing hand. "I a.s.sume you have a reason for breaking more than a few laws designed to protect the integrity of my court."
"Yes, Your Honor. May I approach the bench?"
The judge fingered her gavel. "This is highly irregular, but proceed."
Gray strode to the swinging bar and pushed through, the gleaming wood swishing shut behind him. He shot a quick glance Lori"s way, along with a rea.s.suring flash of his heart-stopping smile, before he turned his attention to the judge. "We"re here to offer family support for Lori."
Lori tucked Magda under her chin and struggled not to bawl like a baby, not a very dignified impression to make on the judge. But Gray"s coming overwhelmed her. He"d gathered all these people, these friends, for her. Even after she"d thrown his proposal back in his face and left him, again, he"d done this beautiful thing. He"d brought the family she"d always wanted.
The judge nudged aside her gavel. "I thought Ms. Rutledge didn"t have any family other than parents who reside primarily overseas."
Lori winced. Apparently, that had been yet another blot against her, but suddenly, miraculously, she didn"t have to face it all alone. Grat.i.tude choked her. Gray was here for her, pleading her case, battling for her. Lori had made it her mission in life to fight for others. No one had ever fought for her.
Until Gray. Towering, blindingly handsome Gray, and she couldn"t soak up his words fast enough.
"Blood relatives, yes. But with all due respect, Your Honor, isn"t this whole hearing about building a family where there isn"t a biological connection?"
"Yes, of course."
"Then we"re here as Lori"s family as well as friends."
"And you are?"
"Major Grayson Clark, United States Air Force. I"m a friend of Lori"s. I was also the chief flight surgeon on the mission that evacuated the orphans from Sentavo."
The couple"s attorney began to stand, but Judge Tradd waved him down before he could speak. "Overruled. My interest is piqued. Irregular though it may be, I feel it"s in the best interest of the child for me to ask a few questions." She turned back to order Gray to take the stand and be sworn in, before she continued, "So you"ve spent time with Ms. Rutledge and Magda."
"Yes, Your Honor, we all have. We"ve been to picnics, to family gatherings, in her home. We"ve all watched Lori and Magda together."
"What makes Ms. Rutledge the better choice than this couple?"
"I was with Lori when Magda was airlifted out of Sentavo. You wouldn"t have recognized Magda then with her ragged dress, thin arms, and big frightened eyes. Lori picked her up and held her just like any mother gathering up a kid of her own. It would be a crime to separate them now. Magda lost one mother. Don"t take another from her."
"I understand her mother died well over a year ago. What makes you think she remembers?"
"She told me."
"But she doesn"t speak English."
Gray looked away for a scant second, before he braced his shoulders into a military stance again. "She showed me while we were, uh, playing with her Barbies."
A m.u.f.fled laugh sounded behind Lori, and she turned to find Bronco coughing through his grin. The crowd radiated support with smiles and nods to bolster Lori. They really had come for her as well as Gray. Securing her hold around Magda, Lori twisted back to listen to the judge.
"So while you were role playing with Barbies she ... did what?"
"Acted out her parents" death. Most likely it was in a bombing air raid."
Magda squirmed, and Lori jostled, whispering, "Shhhh, settle down sweetie. Just hang on."
Magda lurched forward, straining from Lori"s arms over the rail. "Doc! Doc!"
With a total lack of regard for procedure, Gray shot from the witness stand, his cap thudding to the floor. He charged forward, hands extended just as Magda pitched into his arms.
Gray"s gaze collided with Lori"s over Magda"s head-met, held, comforted. One bottle-green eye winked, before Gray hitched Magda on his hip and turned to face the judge without returning to the stand.
The judge fingered her bra.s.s-tipped gavel as her gaze homed in on Gray and Magda. "What exactly is your relationship with Magda that you"ve spent so much time with her since the airlift operation?"
"I love her." He smoothed a hand over her cap of tousled curls, the small child cradled to his uniformed chest "Just as much as I love Lori, her mother."