"Lucky for you."
This last comment caused everyone to roar. When the laughter died down, Buck had a very serious question that only led to more hilarity.
"Smokey, how do you handle disobedience?"
Smokey and Dallas chuckled "I don"t," she admitted, and Dallas went on to explain.
"Smokey has the most unusual crew I"ve ever met. No man is under 40, and they all have appointed themselves guardians of their captain. I was watched like a hawk."
"Why?" Buck asked "They do tend to be rather protective," Smokey answered, "because they"ve known me from the time I was a child On 128.
the other hand, they don"t know Dallas, and trust for a new; man comes hard in a crew as close as my own."
"So you really never discipline anyone?"
"It wouldn"t do a bit of good," Smokey said with a wry shake of her head.
Dallas jumped in at that point and told the story about the spinach. Jenny and Pastor Chase had tears rolling down their faces as he recounted the tale. Smokey laughed at Dallas*
version of the event and added when he was done that it happens nearly every voyage.
Pastor and Mrs. Chase said their goodbyes soon after that, and everyone stood to stretch their legs. The room was very warm to Smokey, so when Jenny and Tate saw them to the door, she headed out the French doors of the parlor for a bit of air. Dallas watched her exit and without a word to anyone, followedV Kathleen took all of this in without distress. Turning away so Dallas would feel free to follow his heart, she began to visit with Buck and Greer.
It was cold outside, but the cool air felt wonderful as Smokey stood above the beach and listened to the pounding of the waves against the sh.o.r.e. The nearly full moon sent a ray of light across the surface of the Atlantic that was mesmerizing, shimmering and winking at her like a thousand tiny jewels.
She felt more than heard Dallas" presence behind her on the gra.s.s and turned to find him approaching. He stopped beside her and stared at her for a long moment.
"Did I tell you that you look lovely this evening?"
"Thank you, Dallas. I was thinking you look wonderful too."
Again Dallas stared at her. "I"ve never before waltzed with a woman, but right now I wish there was music"
129.
Smokey smiled at the very thought and then at herself. "I"d jbably step on your foot."
Dallas smiled in return. "With your little feet, I wouldn"t ;n notice."
Smokey chuckled softly, a sound that sent a shiver down ; Dallas" spine.
"Now how would you be knowing about the size of my feet?" she wished to know.
Dallas" vast hands came up, and he held his fingers about seven inches apart. "You forget I"ve sailed with you. Your boots are only this big."
Suddenly Smokey didn"t feel like laughing. It seemed such an intimate, tender thing to have Dallas know the size of her feet. The thought of leaving him, perhaps for the better pan of the year, felt like a knife in her side.
Smokey watched as those hands came forward now to frame her face. He made no move to kiss her, but she felt his thumbs stroke gently over her cheekbones. His eyes in the moonlight were warm and intimate like a man in love. Smokey was afraid to hope.
"Dallas," Kathleen"s voice came faintly from the direction of the house.
"Yes, Kathleen?" Dallas turned but did not take his hands from where they"d dropped on Smokey"s shoulders.
"Buck and Greer are leaving now. Would you like me to ride home with them?"
"No, Kathleen, I"ll be there in a few minutes."
They both watched as she moved back to the house, and Smokey was pleased at how calm Kathleen had sounded. It didn"t change the inevitable, however--she was still sailing next week.
"I have so much I want to say to you," Dallas spoke.
Smokey tipped her head to see him.
"Dallas--" Smokey began.
"Kathleen and I are just friends."
"I think I figured that out already, but it doesn"t change the fact that I"m leaving."
130.
"And you"d rather that I leave things unsaid right now?*1]
"I might regret it someday very soon, but yes, I do. I don"tl want you here, not able to get in touch with me if you change your mind"
"You don"t understand if you think that"s going to happen."
Dallas wanted to say more, but Smokey was adamantly shaking her head.
"You need to go, Dallas. Next time we see each other, we"ll talk. We"ll both have had time to think, and then we can share where we are."
Her logic and ability to keep calm in an intense situation was one of the things he admired most about her, but at this particular moment, he wanted desperately to kiss her. He"d have loved for her to put her logic aside for just a few minutes.
Instead he did as she asked His hands slid tenderly down her upper arms before he reluctantly broke contact.
"Go with G.o.d, Smokey. You"ll be in my prayers."
The words were barely audible. Then Smokey stood alone and watched him walk away.
"I think I owe you an apology, Kathleen."
"No, Dallas, you don"t." Kathleen"s voice was tight with anger, and Dallas sighed "Yes, I do. You"re furious and I--"
"You"re right," she cut him off in rage. "I am angry, but not with you."
Dallas pulled the buggy to a halt and shifted in the seat to see her. It was getting colder by the moment, but he had to learn the truth.
"What"s going on, Kathleen?"
"You wouldn "t believe me if I told you." Her voice was self-mocking, and Dallas persisted "Try me."
131.
"My mother," Kathleen began but did not go on.
"I get the impression that she desperately wants you to Hnany"
"She does, Dallas, and I would love to be married, but not her way, not through pretense and deceit."
"Pretense?" Dallas was adrift. "I"m not sure I understand."
"Ask me anything about ships, Dallas," Kathleen blurted In anger. "Go on... ask me... ask anything you wish. I"ve done extensive reading on the subject. Or maybe you"d rather know about the pyramids. I was reading a book about them before you picked me up this evening." Kathleen blurted the words out, forgetting her promise to her mother.
Dallas could only stare at her as she came to a stop and tears flooded her eyes.
"My mother," she whispered tearfully, "believes that all men want a wife who"s a little bit stupid and very clingy. She"s been teaching me since I was a child that if I want a man, I can"t let anyone know I am intelligent."
The tears were flowing freely now, and after Dallas produced a large white handkerchief, he slipped his arm around her. She sobbed into his shoulder, and Dallas said nothing, only listened as she told the truth for the first time in years.
"I don"t know if you remember Harvey Blanchard, but we were seeing each other last year." Kathleen was developing a hard case of hiccups, but continued to unburden her heart. "I admire Harvey more than any other man I"ve ever known.
He"s brilliant and sensitive and I fell for him our first time out.
At first I thought he might be feeling for me as I did for him, but Mother insisted that I play dumb, and quite frankly he was bored out of his head with my wide-eyed looks and inane chatter."
The memory was so painful for Kathleen that she sobbed anew, her frame shuddering with harsh weeping. Dallas still kept one arm around her shoulders and let her cry. He didn"t know when he"d heard anything so foolish as to pretend ignorance to attract a man. What rot!
132.
"I made a decision tonight," Kathleen lifted her head and attempted to repair her face. Her voice shuddered some, but Dallas could tell that her mind was resolute.
"My father is always telling me to be myself, and now I"m going to be. He"s always up when I get home. I"m going to tell , him that I"m done pretending and that I"m going to stand up to Mother. I"m sure he will side with me, but if worse comes to worst, I"ll contact my aunt about moving in with her. She lives in Biddeford and is always asking me to come. I won"t live a lie for one more day."
"I"m glad you told me, Kathleen. I hope your parents see your side. I"ll be praying for all of you."
Kathleen"s eyes were filled with peace as she answered, "Thanks for everything, Dallas. By the way," Kathleen went on, unable to remember when her heart felt so light, "does Smokey know what a wonderful husband you"re going to make?"
"I don"t know," he said with a grin for the compliment. "I can"t ever get that girl to stand still long enough to listen to me."
"That"s part of the problem isn"t it, Dallas? She"s not a girl, but a woman who knows who she is and what needs to be done. Unless I miss my guess, the very thing that frustrates you is also what you admire the most."
Amazed at her insight, Dallas stared at her. "Did Harvey stick around long enough to learn that you read minds?"
Kathleen laughed, her first heartfelt laugh in a long time.
"Take me home, Dallas, and on the way I"ll tell you all about the pyramids."
smokey dropped into her desk chair and with a huge sigh, leaned back and closed her eyes. She had begun to wonder if they were ever going to get away. With plans to be gone longer, it seemed every crewman had some problem with getting there on time. Any other captain would have found himself another crew, but not Smokey. She smiled at the thought.
The smile also had to do with the comfort she experienced to finally feel the gentle rocking of the ship beneath her. She opened her eyes to look around the familiar cabin and then spotted Jenny"s letter. It had come two days ago, and she hadn"t even had time to open it. She"d have missed it altogether had they not been delayed. Even fearing that it might make her sad, Smokey decided to read it now.
Dear Smokey, I miss you already and have to force myself not to think about how long you might be gone. Did Willa cry harder than usual? I hope not, but I know how she felt.
The baby is really moving these days, and I get so excited every time I feel it. I"m glad you liked the wallpaper and fabric I picked. I hope the baby will.
134.
Tate has had a busy week--I feel like I"ve hardly seen him. It"s been the same for Dallas, but his efforts have paid off. The Zephyr is well on her way to readiness, and he plans to sail next week.
Jenny had more to say, but Smokey put the letter down and stared into s.p.a.ce. Dallas" face swam into her mind, and her whole frame shuddered with yearning. What if he met someone and married before she returned? What if he simply didn"t mean what she thought, or he had been carried away by the moonlight and late hour? Smokey hated the questions she asked herself, but she wanted to be prepared for the worst.
She stood and wandered to the wardrobe, where three of her five new dresses hung, not sure even now why she had brought them. Smokey fingered the sleeve of the gray dress, still able to feel the pressure of Dallas" hands on her arms as they had stood above the beach.
With a careful movement Smokey shut the wardrobe door and began to pray. "Thank You, Father, that You"ve promised never to leave me or forsake me. Help me to leave Dallas in Your hands. I love him and I want to be with him, but I can"t let that rob me of my peace and joy in You."
Smokey prayed for herself for a long time before she began to lift Dallas to the Lord. Peace settled over her as she surrendered all to G.o.d, and as she finished, she wondered just where Dallas might be at the moment.
The skeletal beginnings of the ship they had been working on when Knight Crafts had gone out of business stood stark against the gray sky. The sight of it had a saddening effect on Dallas that he felt determined to fight. He asked the Lord to help him persevere and be more resolved than ever before to raise the capital to start the business again.
135.
He thought of the orders and leads Smokey had left with [ and praised G.o.d for her generosity. If he could make the linost of his time and effort, this would be one of the most Isuccessful voyages he"d ever sailed. He knew Smokey had one Stop to make in England and then she was headed south.
Dallas found himself wishing that they might meet there, and then he knew that wouldn"t be possible; she"d be well on her way before he arrived "h.e.l.lo, Dallas," a voice cut into his thoughts. He turned to find Harvey Blanchard approaching. Dallas took the s.p.a.ce of a heartbeat to cover his surprise and extend his hand "h.e.l.lo, Harvey. What brings you out this cold day?"
"I take a walk along here most days. Sometimes I stop to take time to think." Harvey stopped speaking, and both men stared at the ship in silence.
"Will you ever be in operation again?" Harvey voiced the question he had often pondered in the past.
"I hope to be," Dallas answered and turned slightly to study the younger man without appearing to do so. He remembered him of course, but seeing him brought back a clearer picture. He was tall and slim, with keen brown eyes and a serious brow. He and Kathleen had been several years behind him in school, but Dallas did recall that Harvey had been more than a little precocious.
"In fact," Dallas continued, "I sail next week, and when I return I hope I"ll be in better shape to a.s.sess that possibility."
"Great," Harvey told him sincerely. "If you"ve a need for investors, my uncle is always looking for opportunities."
"Thanks, Harvey, but I"d like to continue on my own for as long as I"m able."
"I can understand that. I"m the same way."
The men fell silent, and Dallas prayed How could he bring Kathleen up without looking obvious? He quickly concluded that uncomfortable or not, he had to give it a try.
"It"s a bit ironic that you came by today, Harvey. I mean, Kathleen mentioned you when I saw her a few weeks ago."
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"Are you still seeing Kathleen?" Harvey asked, and Dallas]
wondered if he detected a note of sadness in his tone.