Within A Grey Twilight

And if her mother even took a single look at her she was going to be rejected. It was non negotiable, even with her father around.

If she did, she was expecting one with a kinder smile. Not the smile which suggested that if she was angry, she doesn"t mind murdering you.

"You"re in charge of it?" She asked.

"Yes." Suzumi acknowledged it. "So you are sharp."

"No, it"s just that you didn"t lecture me when I stepped inside without an ounce of manners. Neither did you lecture Kaede given what she did earlier on. And finally, the staff you carry can be a weapon."

Sachiko simply summed it all up. It was obvious to anyone that she wasn"t all that normal, but it wasn"t polite for her to point it out. As ridiculous as that sounded.

"This will make reclaiming Koshima a lot easier. You aren"t taken with any of the men at all, I presume?"

"I met them all, and all they were interested in was the prestige and honor I will bring." Not to mention, she already overheard what were their plans. Not even intending to have her as a person, but as though she was something that be shown off too. Like a conquest, and she was the spoil along with Koshima being under their influence.

Unless pushed into a situation where she could not get out of, agreeing to that kind of marriage was a last resort. Suzumi was certain to see whether she could discern that option as such.

If she thought that it was an easy option, then she was stupid. That option will bring her little happiness, and left her fate in the hands of another. Not in her own hands to decide. And Suzumi was trying to see whether she was willing to do anything to get it in her hands. Rather than be tied down by her circ.u.mstances.

She has been through too much for that.

"If I was, I will have remained in Koshima. But I"m here, that means that I don"t wish to pick any of them. I wish to seek another way out."

Suzumi chuckled. "That is true. And so, you will have my help. You convinced me that it will not be idiocy to aid you."

For once she didn"t say anything. Knowing that this was within her own expectations. Her last letter from her father did tell her that if she was in any trouble, she should go to Okiban.

Which was by all means hilarious, knowing that Okiban was a place of far more danger than imagined. If any n.o.ble family even wished to survive, it was to avoid Okiban as a place to seek help.

That was clearly hinted, as much as she could use several excuses. Masaki was going to be happy to see her, the same was so for Sachiko. She missed him, the times where he will talk to her about some strange thing he read about. Or when he asked father about being able to see if.

A reunion should have happened quite a long time ago. A long time ago. But it never did, because her mother will never have allowed her to make the journey here. Improper, and that it was too dangerous.

Neither of which was any problem to her father. But her mother worrying has always been something that her father could never refuse. And as such, it never was truly realised.

Her mother will have insisted she remain. Insisted that she did all that was expected of a lady, but if she accepted those rules it was the same as surrendering. And she promised herself that she will never resign herself to fate.

Even if it was inevitable, she was still better off trying. For she knew that she was going to regret it if she did not.

To her mother, even taking this first step was foolish. That there was nothing but stupidity when all she did was try to find a way to live.

She didn"t want to end up living on another"s charity or becoming dependent on them. For it left her at their mercy, to do as they wished. Although her mother said that to be born a woman was to simply accept that, simply be grateful and content for what they have. To shower their love onto their children and nothing more.

But she didn"t want that. If anything, reputation meant little to her. What use will all this comfort be if they couldn"t even have happiness in them. Happiness may be found in the simplest things, but to her there was a line between giving up and accepting. Accepting only occurs when there is no other choice, but giving up is not choosing to go to those options, for they were difficult.

Unconventional, but she will rather take it than leave it to fate into decide. After all, fate loved to be cruel. And if one trusted in it, there will be no telling where they will end up.

And with this, it was something that she could use. A network that was available. One which she could turn to. Now that she was given such a chance and option, how should she use it.

Her father was gone, and no longer here. Staying calm was the only option, for if she does not no one else will. And if she does not, then it was truly over.

"Here." Kaede pa.s.sed her back the haori. It was still clean. "Although no one knows of your charity, I prefer not to take my chances."

I mean, it was unlikely they will visit those villages anytime soon. At least with things as they were. She looked at it, relatively clean. Although she didn"t exactly need it. "I mean, all the servants here will wonder why aren"t you dressed warmly."

After all, she remembered that her mother will have insisted on that. Or at least remembered that. Masaki was not of the best in health either, but at least nothing compared to her const.i.tution when she was younger.

She keeps quiet.

"Do you need me to track someone down?" Kaede looked at her. Asking her this question. "I mean, I can do it for free or for an extra day off."

Although when she was out looking she will be doing so in the first place. Kaede tied her hair into a boyish style, to show that she could be a convincing retainer. Although Sachiko was still hesitant. If she did so, she will be forced to the negotiation table at an disadvantage.

"Perhaps. I need to think about it. A day should be fine." A day that needed for her to settle down.

"I do agree that it can wait a day." Suzumi came inside. Bringing in some tea, which to her was never something she favoured. It often had a bitter taste, and well if anything she never truly liked it.

"Can I add sugar?" She looked at the woman. Who was surprised at such a demand. It was the first. Not even her mother ever asked for it. "I can"t think when I"m drinking that."

"I"m not even sure whether that is the way to go."

"Or bring something to eat alongside this. Something sweet will be preferable."

"You have strange tastes."

"That"s Hime-sama for you." Sachiko did feel like wanting to ask Kaede, what is so good at advertising her tastes. Although she was in her own home, which was an added benefit.

Suzumi stood up, to take some of what she proposed. "Aneue." Masaki ran up to her, with a huge smile on his face. She stood up, to ruffle his hair. He was almost the same height as her, and in a year or two will surpa.s.s her.

She looked at the servants. Who knew that it was time. By all means, Suzumi didn"t propose that she tell her brother the truth. That in itself told quite a bit about Masaki, or at least to prevent him from being troubled further.

If he was summoned to the palace, it was easy to guess what happened behind them. Besides, she didn"t wish to bring him in. It could be a danger, as he might reveal it unintentionally.

After all, he didn"t know the reality down in Koshima now. Unlike her, for even her escape was tougher than she expected. And she was here, still alone with no one truly making their move. They were simply waiting for her to do so, and while she was limited by time, they were not.

And they will wait for her to come begging. She needed to find a way to avoid that, to becoming dependent on the whims of others. None will be satisfied with neutrality, and will want for her to be on their side.

The silence between them continued. They were siblings who haven"t seen each other in years, she never managing to convince her mother that visiting him was a good idea. Until this year and dire circ.u.mstances presented itself.

While they wrote, it was never the same to talk to each other. "How"s haha?" He inquired, about a mother that he loved but never seemed to have gain her adoration.

Even when he was to come here, her mother never shed a single tear. She simply waved and saw him leave for Okiban. While chichue on the other hand, had hugged him. And asked him to write as often as he could.

"She"s fine." He doesn"t question another time. Although that was likely due to the distant relationship he had with her, which she understood. To Sachiko, she smothered her at every turn. While Masaki simply was left to his own devices.

"How is chichue?" He asked, with her face towards him. He was even more worried, much more than mother. For he knew that their father was in far more danger than ever.

She doesn"t answer. Has he heard about how her father was lost at sea. As unlikely as that was, since Suzumi will have prevented it.

"He has his hands full with Koshima." He accepted it. There were periods when his letters were received but never replied. While she used every chance she could to write to him.

"I see." He smiled accepting this knowledge. "He must be so, if he sent you here to accompany me." Before he lit up his smile, in a way that surpa.s.sed any other. "I"ll take you around the city."

Okiban was a place that she could use the chance to see for herself. And perhaps get acquainted with. By all means, it could wait. Besides, she was still the deciding factor.

They will still have to go to Okiban to end this with a victor.