"Afraid, and stand by doing nothing but bathe her head with cologne, and cry over her. That isn"t the way to cure all this, Miss Hyde."
"But what else can I do, Lottie?"
"You? Nothing."
She went off to a flower-bed, tore some mignonette up by the roots, tossed it from her, and came back again.
"Miss Hyde, I am tired to death of all this. The house isn"t fit to live in since my dear, sweet lady was taken from it. There"s been nothing but sickness, and quarrelling, and going away since, and I"ve about made up my mind to go away too. I can"t stand it, and I won"t, so there!"
"Why, Lottie," I cried, lost in astonishment, "what does this mean?"
"It means that I"m tired of doing nothing--of being slighted, and made of no account. It means that I want to see the world, and know a thing or two about life. You and Miss Jessie just mope about like sick kittens; and as for the servants--well, I don"t belong in that crew, anyhow--but they are getting worse and worse. The long and the short of it all is, I have made up my mind to go away right off, and do something worth while. I only wish you would ask Miss Jessie to settle up with me now, right on the nail, for I"m in an awful hurry to get off."
Settle up! I should have been less astonished if the house-dog had made a sudden claim for wages. Lottie had always been considered as a child of the establishment, to be cared for and petted beyond all idea of payment. She had never seemed to care for money, nor know how to use it.
But while enjoying her life in a state of luxurious ease, almost equalling that of her young mistress, she descended upon us with a rough demand for wages--wages from the time she entered the house, a mere child, up to that very day--no inconsiderable sum, according to her own estimate.
This singular outbreak of cupidity astonished me, and half indignantly I expostulated with the girl. But though her cheeks blazed with seeming shame, and her eyes sunk under mine, she persisted in this grave demand.
All that she had received, her dear, dear mistress had given out and out--that had nothing to do with wages; there was her bill--four hundred dollars--and she wanted it in gold--hard gold, nothing else.
I went to Jessie with the bill. She did not seem to heed the amount, but was distressed at the idea of parting with her mother"s faithful attendant. Hoping that something had gone wrong, and that this was a sudden impulse, she sent for Lottie, in order to expostulate with her; for it seemed like turning a bird, which had become used to its cage, loose upon the world, if we allowed the girl to have her way.
Lottie came in, looking dogged and shy; Jessie held out her hand, with a piteous smile, for she was thinking of her mother.
"Lottie, what have we done that you wish to leave us?"
"Nothing on earth, Miss Jess. I ain"t mad at you, nor any one; but yet I want to go down to York and get a place. It"s lonesome here."
Jessie"s eyes filled with tears. It was indeed very lonesome.
"And will you leave us for that, Lottie?"
The girl was troubled; her color came and went. She was about to burst into tears--but answered still,--
"It"s lonesome, and I want to go. Why can"t you let me, without all this? I ain"t made of cast-iron, nor yet of bra.s.s. Please give me my money and let me go."
"But you are so helpless. What will become of you in a great city?"
pleaded Jessie.
Lottie came up to her and knelt in her old way.
"Let me go, Miss Jessie, and don"t try to stop me, for it"ll be of no use, only to make my heart ache worse than it does now. Don"t be afraid about me! If G.o.d shows the birds their way through the woods, He won"t let me get lost."
"Poor Lottie!" said the young mistress, looking kindly on the girl through her tears, "I would rather give up anything than you."
Lottie seized her hand, pressing her lips upon it.
"Don"t, don"t!" she pleaded. "You would not say a word if you only--"
"Only what, girl?"
"Nothing, nothing. I must go, that is the long and the short of it."
Lottie shook off her tears as a dog scatters the rain from his coat, and, starting up, a.s.sumed her rude manner.
"I will not keep you against your will, my poor girl," said Jessie, sadly; "but how can you find the way?"
"Easy enough, Miss. I"ve been studying geography and the maps, these last three months, besides reading about everything."
"And have you got any idea of a place?"
"Plenty, Miss. I shall be settled the first week. Only give me my wages, and don"t try to persuade me again what my mind is made up to."
"Well, Lottie, you shall have the money. I am sure that can never repay all you have done for my mother!"
"Don"t, don"t, Miss Jessie! I want to make my heart like a grinding mill-stone, and you won"t let me. Now don"t!"
"Well, I will not distress you," replied Jessie, gently; "but remember, Lottie, when you get tired of this new life, or have spent your money, come back to your old home. No person shall fill your place."
"Oh! Miss Jess, Miss Jess! can"t you stop?" cried the wild creature, absolutely flinging up her arms in desperation.
Jessie looked at her thoughtfully a moment; then, unlocking her parlor safe, counted out the gold Lottie had demanded.
"Be careful that the money does not get you into trouble, Lottie," I said, really anxious about the young thing.
Lottie took the gold in her ap.r.o.n, and her tears dropped over it as she turned away. She really seemed heart-broken.
"If anything should happen," said Jessie, regarding her troubles with tenderness,--"if you should lose it, or fall into want, and still not wish to come back, write to me and I will send you more."
"Would you?--would you?" cried Lottie, with quick animation; "then, oh!
Miss Jess! make it six hundred now. I never, never shall want money so much again in my life."
"Six hundred, Lottie?"
"Yes, six! I tried and tried to cipher it out that much; but it wouldn"t multiply or add up to the mark; but if you would now--"
She paused and looked wistfully at the gold through her tears.
Jessie looked at me for encouragement. Dear girl! she had less idea of the value of money than Lottie herself.
"She was so kind to _her_!" whispered the mistress, drawing close to me.
"Or if you"d just lend it to me," pleaded Lottie. "Now, Miss Hyde, don"t go to killing the white dove that I see spreading its wings in her bosom this very minute; I wouldn"t turn against you, nor tell anything, you know that."
"I will give her the money--the good child; how could it be in my heart to refuse her?" said Jessie.
Lottie went to the open safe and began to count out the other twenty pieces of gold, which she jingled one by one against their companions in her ap.r.o.n. Her breath came quickly; and when she had done she came toward us eagerly, gathering the ap.r.o.n in her hand, and hugging it with the gold to her bosom.
"Oh! I"m ready to jump out of my skin with joy and thankfulness!" she exclaimed. "Good-bye, young mistress--good-bye, Miss Hyde, I"m so sorry that I ever twitted you about writing poetry, and some other things I won"t mention."