"This man shall be at my feet again--I do not know whether in love or hate; but no living creature shall ever cast me off in this slow, heartless fashion. I am young, beautiful, the fashion--but these things count for but little in a contest with men like Lawrence. He it was who first told me that I possess something far more powerful than all these--intellect, talent, powers of combination, and that subtle magnetism which no man has ever yet had power to resist: compared with this, beauty, youth, and fashion are trivial possessions. But I have them all, and it shall go hard if this proud man is not made to feel their influence. He thinks I accept the position, and do not feel. Let him. I have not mingled in society and practised his lessons for nothing. The "brilliant coquette" with whom he could a.s.sociate with safety has at least learned how to conceal her anguish. He shall yet find how fatal and poisonous is the hatred growing up like a upas-tree in the desert he has made. My acquaintance with Mr. Lee thrives. I have become the intimate friend of his daughter, a tender nurse to his invalid wife. They are a singularly refined and intelligent family, so loving and true that I almost envy the simplicity which springs from so much goodness. In my friendship for his wife and daughter I find the surest means of interesting Mr. Lee.
"What do I purpose by this? Why, to triumph over that ingrate Lawrence by a conquest of the only man within reach who is admitted to be his superior. He has humiliated my pride, wounded my vanity, and, oh heavens! thrown back the most pa.s.sionate love that woman ever bestowed on man, as too worthless for his acceptance without money. Were Mr. Lee an unmarried man, this Lawrence should be invited to act as his groomsman within the month. As it is, he is distinguished and unapproachable to the common herd. As to the rest, wait and see--wait and see!
"Even here that man seems determined to thwart and wound me. Once, when I was talking with Mr. Lee in a low voice, watching the effect of this intimacy on Lawrence, who stood near, from under my half-closed eyelashes, he came up quietly, and desired to be introduced to my companion, who that moment moved away unconscious of the request.
"Lawrence has become acquainted with the young lady. I do not know how he managed it, but this morning when I looked out upon the sea, thinking only of him, they were standing together on the sh.o.r.e, conversing like old friends. My heart stood still; I felt my very lips turn white. The girl is rich, beautiful, and of good family. Almost her entire life has been spent in France, and she has undoubtedly brought all the arts and graces learned in foreign society in order to insure her conquests here.
How did she manage to attract Lawrence? No woman has been able to do that since he came here. Until now my influence has been supreme, my society sufficient to his happiness;--_now_ he is standing by her--yes, looking down into the eyes of that girl with the air of a man entranced.
What can it mean? what can it mean?...
"I have not slept all night. My brain whirls, my heart aches; all the pride in my nature rises up in rebellion. I hate that man. He loves her.
I can see it in his eyes; I can hear it in his speech. There is homage in the very bend of his person when he salutes her. Never, even in the first days of our acquaintance, has he addressed me with such tender admiration. Oh, how I hate her! The blood burns hotly in my veins when she approaches me. I long to strike her down. But be quiet, proud heart!
the time will come--the time will come!
"A gentleman has just arrived at the Branch from the neighborhood of Mr.
Lee"s residence in Pennsylvania. He is a bright, chivalrous, n.o.ble-hearted young fellow, evidently in love with Jessie Lee, who looks upon him only as a generous young man whom she has known all her life, and cannot be particularly interested in. I discovered all this at the first interview. Besides the disadvantage of a long intimacy, she does not care for him because of the fascinations this other man has thrown around her. Poor fellow! how sad and bewildered he looks when she turns from him with such unconscious indifference to listen for the footsteps of his rival. How her cheek burns and her eyelids droop when the one man approaches her! Ah! I know the feeling, and could almost give pity for the disappointment in store for her; for she shall be disappointed. His "brilliant coquette" is on the watch, softly, stealthily, but vigilant as a fox. Where two men are in love with the same woman, opportunities for complications are always arising. I shall neither overlook or throw them aside.
"Days and weeks have worn away,--that is the word,--worn away with such dull joylessness that they seem to me like the heavy dreams of a sick man. It is true this man would have married me out of lukewarm love and a thirst for money; but it is all over now. Both inclinations have kindled up into fiery pa.s.sion for this Jessie Lee, and she is in love with him--a first love, deep and shy, but positive. He sees this and exults in it, utterly careless that I see and suffer.
"My friends reproach me for my reckless gayety. They complain that I am too greedy of pleasure, and give myself no rest. Greedy of pleasure! I am only fleeing from pain; I cannot pause to think without loathing the past and dreading the future. I rush onward like a wounded animal, afraid to pause lest I should be tempted to lie down and bleed to death.
"Lawrence has become close friends with young Bosworth. They have known each other before, it seems, and the acquaintance has been warmly renewed. There is craft and calculation in this. Let me watch and wait.
I knew it. Lawrence seldom attempts to attract man or woman in vain.
This morning the blinds of my window were closed, and I sat thoughtfully in the twilight of my room, listening to the murmurs of the ocean, that seemed to grow softer and more slumberous as the sun poured its silvery radiance upon them. I was very sad. No one would have complained of my spirits could they have seen me then.
"All at once, voices startled me. Lawrence and young Bosworth had paused near the closed blinds of my room. Just before this, some invitation had evidently been extended to Lawrence, and he accepted it with evident satisfaction.
""Of course I will come, my good fellow. Fine shooting, a good horse, and such neighbors as the Lees, would draw a man out of paradise. You may count on me for a month."
""Then it is settled," answered Bosworth, with a little reserve; perhaps he was not altogether pleased that the Lees were considered as an inducement for the visit. "Then it is settled. We will do our best to make your visit to the old house pleasant."
"They pa.s.sed on after this, and left me trembling with indignation.
Lawrence had made arrangements to follow Jessie Lee in a way that would commit him to nothing. Here, my presence has been some restraint upon him. In the country, his opportunities to see her will be far greater, and he will become thoroughly acquainted with all the advantages of her position.
"Lawrence is going to visit his rival, Mr. Bosworth. I will visit my rival, Miss Jessie Lee, at the same time. Before the night closes in, I will have an invitation from both the young lady and her invalid mother.
As for Miss Hyde, it would be a thousand years before I got one from her. She does not like me, but I will become an inmate of her friends"
house nevertheless. I can almost smile when I think of the confusion this arrangement will make.
"The night has not darkened yet, and I am invited to The Ridge. This is the name of Mrs. Lee"s place in the country. How easily these gentle and truthful women are managed. They had not the least idea of inviting me when I entered their parlor, but in ten minutes after it was all arranged. I did not promise to go, however, but left the acceptance for a future day. This uncertainty will prevent them mentioning the visit to Lawrence....
"I am here at The Ridge, an honored guest, welcome to every one except Miss Hyde, who never has even pretended to like me. She has great influence in the family; but how long will it last? My enemies usually get into trouble in some unexpected way before I have been with them long.
"Lawrence is here, but I have managed that he shall not know of my presence until we meet face to face. We have a delicate game to play, and I shall enjoy the first move.
"I have seen him. We went out on horseback this afternoon, and he joined us. I was in my saddle when he rode up, and smiled upon him as if we had met only yesterday. His face flushed scarlet when he saw me. I made no effort to have him near me, but rode on with Mr. Lee, who is really one of the most charming men I ever saw. I watched Lawrence closely, to detect some annoyance at this intimacy; but his face was inscrutable.
One thing was positive: my presence annoyed him.
"I think there was an effort made by Miss Hyde to keep me from Mrs.
Lee"s sick-room, but all her petty obstacles were swept away like a handful of rushes. Let this dainty little person take care, or she may not long remain the friend _par excellence_ of the family. Mrs. Lee is very delicate, and may at any hour drop out of life. They are enormously rich, and most of the money comes from her real estate. I suppose Lawrence knows all this, or he would not have been in the neighborhood; but he shall never marry this girl--never--never!
"I am gaining something of my old ascendency over this man; and as I gain, she loses--no matter how--but she does. There are things which we never write, or care to see on record even in our own hearts. I think the devoted attentions of my host wound his vanity a little; and it is for this reason I encourage them--with another, so vague and remote that it scarcely takes shape as yet. But this is certain: I will not be made bankrupt in everything. If love fails me, I will have power and wealth.
If he attains this girl, I will sweep everything else out of his reach.
The pale woman up yonder in her tower-chamber cannot live forever.
"There is a little imp of Satan in this house, who is constantly with Mrs. Lee, vigilant as a fox, but, to all appearance, stolid enough in everything where her mistress is not concerned. She is completely uneducated, and seems to observe or know nothing beyond her duties in the sick-room; but she is forever there, and, I am sure, listens sometimes to our conversation, though it makes no visible impression upon her. I have told Cora to gain some influence over this strange creature. Since then she has been in my room frequently, and yesterday proposed to dress my head, which was beautifully done. She is very quiet, and takes no interest in anything around her, but talks to Cora when I am away, and the two are becoming very intimate. I shall find her useful. In her simplicity she will tell Cora everything.
"Young Bosworth has proposed to Jessie and been rejected; I am sure of this, though she is honorably reticent, and Miss Hyde refuses to speak.
My relations with Lawrence are getting more and more confidential and friendly. Yesterday he even hinted at his attachment for Jessie. I listened in dead stillness, holding my breath, for it seemed as if some cruel hand were clutching at my heart. Does he think that I have no feeling, no pride? Sometimes I hate the man. How would he open this subject? How was I endowed with power to listen without shrieking forth the agony it inflicted?
"He asked me, with an effort at carelessness, if I thought there was anything serious in young Bosworth"s attentions to Miss Lee. His voice faltered a little, and I knew that he was anxious. So I answered with gentle deliberation that I knew very little of the matter. Cora had gathered from the servants that they were mutually attached, but Mr. Lee opposed the marriage, as young Bosworth"s fortune was in no reasonable proportion to that Miss Lee would inherit. Lawrence winced at this, unless I am greatly mistaken. Bosworth is a millionaire compared to him.
If he has property of any amount, I have been unable to learn the fact.
Indeed, he speaks of himself always as a poor man; but that may be from calculation. Thinking that Bosworth might know and have spoken of his friend"s affairs, I have brought up the subject once or twice when conversing with Miss Hyde, but she evidently knew little or nothing about it. Oh, why is he not a rich man! The temptation of Miss Lee"s fortune would be nothing to him then, and that girl and I would stand on equal ground. With the odds so completely against me, I have sworn to myself that he shall never, never marry her.
"She loves him, and I think he loves her; still he turns to me for sympathy and counsel, believing that I forget and forgive.
"Yes, she has rejected young Bosworth, and he is ill, very ill. That fine old lady, his grandmother, has sent for Miss Hyde, who will take Jessie Lee to visit her sick lover. Lawrence shall know this. He shall watch for her, going and coming. What, but intense love, can account for a step so singular--taken, too, without the knowledge of her father, for I will see that no communication of the fact shall reach him.
"It is exactly as I wished. He saw her on the road; he knows how angry her father was. His mortification is complete. He suffers enough to make my soul rise up in arms against him. To-day he betrayed one fact. The hope of gaining her property was a powerful incentive, however much he may love her. The man is worse than poor--heavily in debt--and feels himself compelled to marry riches. Perhaps this is the sole motive that brings him to the feet of this beautiful heiress. If I thought so, he might marry her; and I would wait a little till that frail woman--no, that is a terrible thought; let it sleep--let it sleep. Still, what would I do, even if Lawrence loved me? With extravagant tastes like ours, and high social positions to maintain without means, and he in debt, a marriage would be madness. If I were only sure that he sought her for her money alone--but I will not think of it.
"Lawrence has gone. I could not endure to see his disappointment, and let him depart supposing her engaged.
"I cannot live without him. This beautiful place is a desert, with all its blossoming flowers and rich appliances. When I feel that he has gone, a gloom falls upon everything around me. I am more lonely and miserable than his devotion to this young heiress could make me.
Without his society, life would be a heavy burden. But how is that to be attained?
"These few days have been important ones to me. I have conjectured and thought till my brain aches and my heart is sore. To-day I stood upon the top of the Ridge, looking out upon the town and the vast landed estate owned by this man. Miss Hyde was with me, and something she said led me into a new train of thought. It seems that Jessie Lee is an heiress in spite of her father. At her mother"s death, she will come in possession of half the estate. Of course, she will always live near the homestead, and the man she marries must necessarily be almost an inmate there. I have thought of this a great deal. New combinations are arranging themselves in my mind. If this rich man were free--but I dare not think of it.
"This lady is very lovely, but life must be a burden to any invalid. I should think death a mercy compared to the dull monotony of a sick-room.
He is very tender and kind to her; but full health and continued illness cannot long remain in sympathy. He has learned this within the last two months, or I am greatly mistaken. Jessie Lee is getting distrustful of me. Miss Hyde has disliked me from the first, but in the sick-room I am all-potent, and this proud man does not himself dream of the power I have attained over him....
"I will do it; what choice have I? Poverty on one side, loneliness, desolation. On the other, wealth, position, his society. Oh, if I could only be sure that he does not love her!
"Having made up my mind, I am not one to falter. Yesterday I was talking with her about opiates. She is very nervous and wakeful at night, but refused to take laudanum. Very well; I have persuaded her that chloroform will bring rest, and she has some in her room. If she should take an overdose, who can be astonished?
"Last night I had a fearful struggle in her room. That girl seems endowed with wonderful resistance. I cannot put her so deeply into insensibility that she does not come out with a suddenness that frightens me. Perhaps I am nervous; everything startles me, and I feel panic-stricken at the least sound.
"After several failures I at last got the imp into perfect unconsciousness. _She_ was lying on her white bed, more like a ghost than a human being. I stood over her; the dim outline of her person was just visible, but my hand crept slowly through the darkness, grasping the bottle, which was already uncorked. I was resolute. There was no tremor of heart or hand to hold me back. Slowly and steadily she inhaled the drug. Her breath stopped--her hand, which I grasped in mine, was growing cold, when I heard a sc.r.a.ping noise behind me. In an instant the room was illuminated with pale blue light. I turned in horror, and saw the girl Lottie and Miss Hyde, both pale as death, gazing upon me. I escaped them almost by a miracle. Cora came to my aid, and, quick as a flash of lightning, changed the bottle in my hand for another, while Miss Hyde was absolutely holding me in her arms. The whole family were aroused, but I received them calmly: the moment of peril had pa.s.sed, and, instead of sinking, my energies rose to the conflict. But after I reached my room, the reaction was terrible. I fell from one fainting fit to another until morning.
"That girl Lottie suspects me. No fox waiting for prey was ever more vigilant. I dare not venture to that room again.
"An idea struck me this afternoon. A few words, spoken sadly and secretly by the sick woman, revealed means of reaching the end I wish, which are entirely free from danger, and may lead to other results. Let me think; let me plan. Why did this idea never present itself before?
""To think that he did not love me, would be death," she said. I felt the blood leap from my heart. This sentence revealed a terrible power which might safely be used. A power so subtle and deep-working that no human being would ever guess at its fatal effects.
"I have written this woman a letter, so completely imitating Jessie Lee"s handwriting that no human being can detect the difference. In that letter I have accused myself of attempting to entrap Mr. Lee, and of usurping the affections that should belong to his wife. I have pointed out proof after proof that he has ceased to regard her, and is becoming weary of the life her illness forces upon him. I have warned her that his love is already given to another, and that her very life is becoming burdensome to him.
"The letter is adroitly written, but has no signature. Who could suppose any woman capable of maligning herself? I have sent it to the mail. It will reach her to-morrow. I cannot sleep to-night. Work like this requires a heart of bra.s.s and nerves of steel.
"It is done. She got the letter while we were out riding. When we came back, her heart was broken--poor thing, poor woman! I almost wish it had not been done. The feeling of terror that seized upon me when I saw their white faces, was awful. A faint sickness crept over me, but I must go on and face the work I had done.