The Grinding of Dave Tutt.
"Yes," said the Old Cattleman, as he took off his sombrero and contemplated the rattlesnake band which environed the crown, "cow- punchers is queer people. They needs a heap of watchin" an" herdin".
I knowed one by the name of Stevenson down on the Turkey Track, as merits plenty of lookin" after. This yere Stevenson ain"t exactly ornery; but bein" restless, an" with a disp"sition to be emphatic whenever he"s fillin" himse"f up, keepin" your eye on him is good, safe jedgment. He is public-sperited, too, an" sometimes takes lots of pains to please folks an" be pop"lar.
"I recalls once when we"re bringin" up a beef herd from the Panhandle country. We"re ag"in the south bank of the Arkansaw, tryin" to throw the herd across. Thar"s a bridge, but the natifs allows it"s plenty weak, so we"re makin" the herd swim. Steve is posted at the mouth of the bridge, to turn back any loose cattle that takes a notion to try an" cross that a-way. Thar"s nothin" much to engage Steve"s faculties, an" he"s a-settin" on his bronco, an"
both is mighty near asleep. Some women people--from the far East, I reckons--as is camped in town, comes over on the bridge to see us cross the herd. They"ve lined out clost up to Steve, a-leanin" of their young Eastern chins on the top rail.
""Which I don"t regyard this much," says one young woman; "thar"s no thrill into it. Whyever don"t they do somethin" excitin"?"
"Steve observes with chagrin that this yere lady is displeased; an", as he can"t figger nothin" else out quick to entertain her, he gives a whoop, slams his six-shooter off into the scenery, socks his spurs into the pony, an" hops himse"f over the side of the bridge a whole lot into the shallow water below. The jump is some twenty feet an"
busts the pony"s laigs like toothpicks; also it breaks Steve"s collarbone an" disperses his feachers "round some free an" frightful on account of his sort o" lightin" on his face.
"Well, we shoots the pony; an" Steve rides in the grub wagon four or five days recooperatin". It"s jest the mercy of h.e.l.l he don"t break his neck.
""Whatever do you jump off for?" I asks Steve when he"s comin"
"round.
""Which I performs said equestrianisms to amoose that she-shorthorn who is cussin" us out." says Steve "I ain"t permittin" for her to go back to the States, malignin" of us cow-men."
"Steve gets himse"f downed a year after, an" strikes out for new ranges in the skies. He"s over on the upper Red River when he gets creased. He"s settin" into a poker game.
"Steve never oughter gambled none. He is a good cow-boy--splendid round-up hand--an" can do his day"s work with rope or iron in a brandin" pen with anybody; but comin" right to cases, he don"t know no more about playin" poker than he does about preachin". Actooally, he"d back two pa"r like thar"s no record of their bein" beat. This yere, of course, leads to frequent poverty, but it don"t confer no wisdom on Steve.
"On this o"casion, when they ships Steve for the realms of light, one of the boys gets a trey-full; Steve being possessed of a heart flush, nine at the head. In two minutes he don"t have even his blankets left.
"After he"s broke, Steve h"ists in a drink or two an" sours "round a whole lot; an" jest as the trey-full boy gets into his saddle, Steve comes roamin" along up an" hails him.
""Pard," says Steve, a heap gloomy, "I"ve been tryin" to school myse"f to b"ar it, but it don"t go. Tharfore, I"m yere to say you steals that pa"r of kings as completed my rooin. Comin" to them decisions, I"m goin" to call on you for that bric-a-brac I lose, an"
I looks to gain some fav"rable replies."
""Oh, you do, do you!" says the trey-full boy. "Which you-all is a heap too sanguine. Do you reckon I gives up the frootes of a trey- full--as hard a hand to hold as that is? You can go ten to one I won"t: not this round-up! Sech requests is preepost"rous!"
""Don"t wax flippant about this yere robbery, says Steve. "It"s enough to be plundered without bein" insulted by gayeties. Now, what I says is this: Either I gets my stuff, or I severs our relations with a gun." An" tharupon Steve pulls his pistol an" takes hold of the trey-full boy"s bridle. ""If thar"s one thing makes me more weary than another," says the trey-full boy, "it"s a gun play; an"
to avoid sech exhibitions I freely returns your plunder. But you an"
me don"t play kyards no more."
"Whereupon, the trey-full boy gets off his hoss, an" Steve, allowin"
the debate is closed, puts up his gun. Steve is preematoor. The next second, "bang!" goes the trey-full boy"s six-shooter, the bullet gets Steve in the neck, with them heavenly results I yeretofore onfolds, an" at first drink time that evenin" we has a hasty but successful fooneral.
""I don"t reckon," says Wat Peac.o.c.k, who is range boss, "thar"s need of havin" any law-suits about this yere killin". I knows Steve for long an" likes him. But I"m yere to announce that them idees he fosters concerinin" the valyoo of poker hands, onreasonable an"
plumb extrav"gant as they sh.o.r.ely is, absolootely preeclooded Steve"s reachin" to old age. An" Steve has warnin"s. Once when he tries to get his life insured down in Austin, he"s refoosed.
"""In a five-hand game, table stakes, what is a pair of aces worth before the draw?" is one of them questions that company asks.
"""Table stakes?" says Steve. "Every chip you"ve got."
"""That settles it, says the company; "we don"t want no sech resk.
Thar never is sech recklessness! You won"t live a year; you"re lucky to be alive right now." An" they declines to insure Steve."
"However," continued my friend musingly, "I"ve been puttin" it up to myself, that mighty likely I does wrong to tell you these yere tales. Which you"re ignorant of cow folks, an" for me to go onloadin" of sech revelations mebby gives you impressions that"s a lot erroneous. Now I reckons from that one eepisode you half figgers cow people is morose an" ferocious as a bunch?"
As the old gentleman gave his tones the inflection of inquiry, I hastened to interpose divers flattering denials. His recitals had inspired an admiration for cow men rather than the reverse.
This setting forth of my approval pleased him. He gave me his word that I in no sort a.s.sumed too much in the matter. Cow men, he a.s.serted, were a light-hearted brood; over-cheerful, perhaps, at times, and seeking amus.e.m.e.nt in ways beyond the understanding of the East; but safe, upright, and of splendid generosity. Eager to correct within me any mal-effects of the tragedy just told, he recalled the story of a Tucson day of merry relaxation with Dave Tutt. He opined that it furnished a picture of the people of cows in lighter, brighter colors, and so gave me details with a sketchy gladness.
"Which you"re acc"rate in them thoughts," he said, referring to my word that I held cow folk to be engaging characters. After elevating his spirit with a clove, He went forward. "Thar ain"t much paw an"
bellow to a cowboy. Speakin" gen"ral, an" not allowin" for them inflooences which disturbs none--I adverts to mescal an" monte, an"
sech abnormalities--he"s pa.s.sive an" easy; no more harm into him than a jack rabbit.
"Of course he has his moods to be merry, an" mebby thar"s hours when he"s gay to the p"int of over-play. But his heart"s as straight as a rifle bar"l every time.
"It"s a day I puts in with Dave Tutt which makes what these yere law-sharps calls "a case in p"int," an" which I relates without reserve. It gives you some notion of how a cowboy, havin" a leesure hour, onbuckles an" is happy nacheral.
"This yere is prior to Dave weddin" Tucson Jennie. I"m pirootin"
"round Tucson with Dave at the time, Dave"s workin" a small bunch of cattle, "way over near the Cow Springs, an" is in Tucson for a rest.
We"ve been sloshin" "round the Oriental all day, findin" new virchoos in the whiskey, an" amoosin" ourse"fs at our own expense, when about fifth drink time in the evenin" Dave allows he"s some sick of sech revels, an" concloods he"ll p"int out among the "dobys, sort o" explorin" things up a lot. Which we tharupon goes in concert.
"I ain"t frothin" at the mouth none to go myse"f, not seein"
reelaxation in pokin" about permiscus among a pa.s.sel of Mexicans, an" me loathin" of "em from birth; but I goes, aimin" to ride herd on Dave. Which his disp"sition is some free an" various; an" bein"
among Mexicans, that a-way, he"s liable to mix himse"f into trouble.
Not that Dave is bad, none whatever; but bein" seven or eight drinks winner, an" of that Oriental whiskey, too, it broadens him an" makes him feel friendly, an" deloodes him into claimin" acquaintance with people he never does know, an" refoosin" to onderstand how they shows symptoms of doubt. So we capers along; Dave warblin" "The Death of Sam Ba.s.s" in the coyote key.
"The senoras an" senoritas, hearin" the row, would look out an"
smile, an" Dave would wave his big hat an" whoop from glee. If he starts toward "em, aimin" for a powwow--which he does frequent, bein" a mighty amiable gent that a-way--they carols forth a squawk immediate an" shets the door. Dave goes on. Mebby he gives the door a kick or two, a-proclaimin" of his discontent.
"All at once, while we"re prowlin" up one of them s.p.a.cious alleys a Mexican thinks is a street, we comes up on a Eytalian with a music outfit which he"s grindin". This yere music ain"t so bad, an" I hears a heap worse strains. As soon as Dave sees him he tries to figger on a dance, but the "local talent" declines to dance with him.
""In which event," says Dave, "I plays a lone hand."
"So Dave puts up a small dance, like a Navajo, accompanyin" of himse"f with outcries same as a Injun. But the Eytalian don"t play Dave"s kind of music, an" the bailee comes to a halt.
""Whatever is the matter with this yere tune-box, anyhow?" says Dave. "Gimme the music for a green-corn dance, an" don"t make no delay." ""This yere gent can"t play no green-corn dance," I says.
""He can"t, can"t he?" says Dave; "wait till he ropes at it once. I knows this gent of yore. I meets him two years ago in El Paso; which me an" him sh.o.r.ely shakes up that village."
""Whatever is his name, then?" I asks.
""Antonio Marino," says the Eytalian.
""Merino?" says Dave; "that"s right. I recalls it, "cause it makes me think at the jump he"s a sheep man, an" I gets plumb hostile."
""I never sees you," says the Eytalian.
""Yes you do," says Dave; "you jest think you didn"t see me. We drinks together, an" goes out an" shoots up the camp, arm an" arm."
"But the Eytalian insists he never meets Dave. This makes Dave ugly a lot, an" before I gets to b.u.t.t in an" stop it, he outs with his six-shooter, an" puts a hole into the music-box."