Mrs. Van Wyk, "As you were."
Moral:--
Sunday, October 20.-The blessedness of eventide, the satisfaction after long and hard day"s work; delicious feeling of rest and contentment; soothing is such solitude.
Yesterday rather "offish" whole day; felt just as though "it wouldn"t come."
Visited family of Afgescheiden people; sterling Christian old lady, Mrs. Van der Heever.
In so far am at rest now with regard Mrs. Van Wyk; with doctor"s help we have got her and baby safely lodged in hospital; some consolation anyhow.
In ferver ward found Mrs. Olivier dying; fine, strong woman. How cruel and relentless is Death; prayed at bedside; quite unconscious, and pa.s.sed away some minutes after.
Very painful task yesterday, matter which has been awaiting investigation some days already. Young girl of sixteen ran away to River with view to getting into British lines. Bad character since last year, when British entered Bethulie. Sent with mother to Bloemfontein Camp on that account by military. Weeks ago she was brought back from river, but refused to return to mother; found she was staying with notorious villian E--, whose wife ill in hospital....
Yesterday afternoon Mr. Becker, Elder du Toit, and self straight talk with E--. But oh, what a blackguard he is, and how devilishly good and obedient! Made himself out a second good Samaritan.
Took her to mother; willing to forgive and receive her back, if she is truly repentant and promises to remain and obey. And now? The Lord only knows. Mr. Becker promised to call this afternoon; must hold eye on her; must make her feel and know that we desire only her welfare. Feel convinced that unless we get her converted to G.o.d everything will be in vain.
Hurried off to village; breakfast parsonage; return with magnificent leg of mutton and salad; flowers.
Church service soon after; fortunately could use sermon prepared for last Wednesday afternoon, "Het leven is mij Christus, het sterven is mij gewin" (For me to live is Christ, to die is gain). Splendid congregation at both places.
Visit Ottos; boy very, very bad; enteric; fear worst; prayer.
After dinner, repose and preparation for afternoon service; restless hour and half with no progress; 110 texts; no go, so in despair at 2.30 got up, and after bit prayer decided to preach to young people on "En de Heere keerde zich om en zag Petrus aan" (And the Lord turned and looked upon Peter); immense crowd; wonderfully helped.
Funerals four; very large crowd; hundreds; splendid opportunity again; "En de dooden werden geoordeeld naar hetgeen in de boeken geschreven was" (And the dead were judged out of the things which were written in the books). We are all busy, each with his own book, and each day we add a page; but one day, like with these dead, we come to our last page. What have we written? How do we write? When we become G.o.d"s children, G.o.d writes in letters of red-with Christ"s blood as ink-over the pages of sin we have till now written, "Cleansed in Jesus"s blood," and thence we write only to the glory of G.o.d. And the little children we bury to-day-they too have their little books completed, but I believe there was an angel to hold the pen of each child, and that therefore their little books will be pure before G.o.d.
After funerals, girls" prayer meeting; very enjoyable gathering; regulated prayers somewhat; first for our own special needs, second and third for our camp-sick, weary, sorrowful, careless, unconverted, hospital; fourth and fifth, relatives and friends far away; Land en Volk.
Tea, and at 7.15 our evening service of song (went to tea at 6.30, people already going to service).
Glorious singing, place inside and outside (?) simply packed; reserved seats for nurses, who arrived few minutes late; "Prys den Heere" (Praise the Lord) again; temptation too great; sudden inspiration.
"Wederzien" (G.o.d be with you) beautifully sung; also several kinderharp; so hearty, so enjoyable; quarter-hour over time; announced next meeting Tuesday night (D.V.).
And now the day is over.
Mr. Becker had huge crowd in lower church this afternoon while I had young people. May G.o.d"s Word not return to Him void!
And now for a good old pipe, and a few good long thoughts of home, dear ones, and friends.
(This almost long enough for sermon, and needs only the Amen!)
Thursday, October 24.-Long break, four days gone by; but one day is like the other except that on alternative days I take the funerals; for the rest, each day is like preceding morning, noon, and afternoon-sick! sick! sick!
O for a change in my work! The continual cry is "Minheer, kom tog hier" (Sir, please come here), "Minheer, gaat tog daar" (Sir, please go there), and one grows so weary of scenes of suffering and sorrow; always red and tear-stained eyes; always Love, helpless, hopeless, impotent, despairing; always face to face with Decay, Change, Death; always the same close, stifling, little tent.
Such a life here as "leeraart" (chaplain) full of dull, oppressive, burdensome, wearying, saddening hours. O the monotony, the horrible monotony of my work. How welcome the hour of sunset! How blissful to lay me down to sleep! Thank G.o.d for his unspeakable gift of sleep-that period of forgetfulness, of rest, of void.
And yet let me confess, can there be any work grander, more glorious, than just this work of mine? How one can revel in it! The unspeakable bliss of being able to ease the burdens of one"s fellow-men-the supreme honour of being able to be a blessing. Surely the purest pleasure here on earth-to bear one another"s burdens.
To-day a grievous, burdensome day-full of worry and trouble.
Found that my tent had been unceremoniously pulled down and removed during my morning visit in camp.
Hurried home to find things lying in dire confusion, and unprotected.
"Ai, maar dit was ook genoeg om"n mens regtig moeilijk en nukkerig te maak" (Ah, but it was enough to rouse and irritate a person). But what an utter absence of the faintest traces of some respect and deference. There are men whose cold-blooded brutishness and irreverence knock one over completely. One"s person, one"s profession, is no guarantee, no safeguard-nay, I verily believe some glory and revel in the act of making a fellow-creature miserable.
So I sent in my resignation on the spot. "The indignity which I had suffered at the hands of the authorities makes it impossible for me to continue in my office."
And of course this made a mighty change, and there were explanations and apologies, etc., and at 1 p.m. I had another tent, and my resignation safe in drawer.
May I never have occasion to undergo such a mental, internal struggle again. One positively has need of extra grace each day, so much as regular supply and so much extra.
But now day is over and the turmoil is over. Thank G.o.d!
Funerals four; "In het huis mijns vaders" (In my Father"s house); felt offish; visited old Thomas du Toit; fear he won"t make it.
Thence old Mr. Van der Merwe; dying.
Too dead beat to go to Mrs. Van der Berg, who I believe is dying.
Girlie 169 also in Death"s throes; horrid, cruel, wicked fever.
168, girlie, pneumonia; wishes to die. "Minheer, ik wil tog liever bij Jezus wees, hier is dit al te zwaar" (Sir, I would much rather be with Jesus; here it is too hard).
Visited Mrs. Van der Walt, 184, who lost three children some weeks (in twenty-four hours); also old Mr. Venter; alone; wife and two daughters died few weeks ago; poor old fellow! what cup of suffering.
At the graves spoke to mother, "Dit is nou mij zesde, minheer" (This is now my sixth, sir).
Several in hospital dead too.
Very sorry about old Mr. Hockins (he had died); did not visit him during last few days.
Hospital removed to-day; right out of camp; great undertaking. Will mean so much more time lost for me.
FOOTNOTES:
[61] Size of this house (!), 10 feet by 7 feet; height, 7-1/2 feet.
[62] The Orange River is an hour"s walk from Camp.
[63] This is no reflection upon the two nurses, Miss Rouvier and Miss Roos, who had the management of the hospital. The arrival of a new matron simply meant more help.
[64] These boards were sold at 7s. 6d. a piece to the people.