What sorrows one is to find tent upon tent with sick children and no nourishing or invalid food; not even milk.
Wonder if there can be suffering greater than what some folk endure here.
Mr. Becker funerals; four, I believe, only (!).
Eight died since yesterday afternoon; may a change come speedily.
Friday, September 6.-Handicapped with a horrible cold, which won"t go away; throat hoa.r.s.e; unpleasant day, very; wind, dust.
Daily routine: Hospital; visits; dinner; visits; funerals; visits; supper; bed.
Nine buried this afternoon; "Heere gij zijt ons een Toevlucht van Geslacht tot Geslacht" (Lord, Thou hast been our dwelling-place in all generations); dreary business.
There have died during one month (August) about 230 people.
A new doctor has come, and now I hope things will grow brighter.
Miss Snyman in hospital little better.
Sad case this evening; found mother at bedside[34] of sick child; she has lost two already this week, and this one is the last; husband died Green Point. The sorrow of it! May G.o.d spare that child"s life.
Hear from Mr. Becker that the old Tante[35] beyond the Camp, with sick mother and sick children, has broken down. What on earth will become of them?
Some here unconsciously overdo it, and overtax their own strength in their grim fights with Angel of Death. A sort of superhuman power sustains them for a time, and then-the collapse!
But there sings the kettle![36]
Sat.u.r.day, September 7.-To-morrow is Sunday, and my sermons? O, the recklessness of it! I had determined to set aside this afternoon for preparation.
Morning very busy.
Mrs. Mentz" child dead.
Hospitals; hysterical girl very bad; fear she won"t pull through; others betterish; except the fever one; very weak.
In men"s ward, old Mr. Petersen dying; quite conscious; waiting on G.o.d; Ps. 23.
Another youth also very bad.
Arrangements upset; funerals this morning (seven); had to rush to overtake procession; Ps. 39, "Handbreed" (an hand-breadth).
Found I was burying Mrs. De Lint"s infant and also "she of the gnashing teeth."
Sorrowing mothers; I always hurry away when the first sod falls with its horrible thud; it unstrings the chords of one"s being, and the best thing is to depart.
Spent afternoon in; at five, went to few tents.
Old Tante yonder; the great collapse; very sorrowful; faithful unto death. Weeks of toil; untiring efforts with sick daughter and her three sick children; poor; helpless; no one to a.s.sist save little Billy, who herself is sick. And now-now the daughter is better, the three children on the way to recovery, and the faithful old grandmother? Nunc demittis. She has lain there like a log since yesterday without nourishment; took beef tea; kind neighbour brought broth; made her sit up, and she gulped down the food; will try and get her removed to hospital to-morrow.
Visited Mrs. Naude of yesterday; anguish; the last child died this morning; husband gone; three children gone; alone. Made fool of myself. O, the pity of it all!
Long visit from Doctor; desperate; at wit"s end; and with a sermon hanging upon my mind.
Sunday, September 8.-Most awful day of wind and dust. May I never see such another.
Church (!); open air; clouds of dust; people just simply buried in dust; could scarcely read; whole service forty-five minutes.
During sermon compelled to turn round and shut eyes; saw on opening them that my black hat had changed to my brown one.
Met wailing women on return; Mrs. Lubbe; news of husband"s death; shot in war; frantic; visited this evening; hopeless. What could I do? frantic despair; cruel anguish unconsolable. Grief makes one unreasonable. I think one should fight against grief and not collapse so readily; and yet-and yet!
Funerals five; old Mr. Petersen; large crowd; availed myself of opportunity; "Alleen wiens namen opgeschreven zijn in het Boek des Levens des Lams" (But they which are written in the Lamb"s Book of Life).
May G.o.d not let His word return to Him void; read also Psalm 25, which I read to old Mr. Petersen just before he died.
Accompanied Mrs. Mentz to see husband in hospital; youngest child dead; father knows not; in fear and trembling lest she should tell. He gave her half an orange to give the little girl (buried already); I must tell him of child"s death to-morrow; bitter task.
Disappointed about hospital; could not go through thoroughly; some there who won"t pull through, I"m afraid.
On way home from funerals called in to pray for dying children; found I was too late at the first tent; much grief and wailing; second tent; baby dying.
Neglected to go to old mother beyond; wonder if!
This evening two girls came to ask for candle; great misery no light; gave half a candle; visited this evening Van der Walt; sorrowful; three children ill; saw my candle burning. What if I had not been able to give! Other sick children; sent brandy and Benger"s food.
Mr. Becker service afternoon; same old dust.
Heard there were some of the Ladies" Commission present; good! May G.o.d bless their work and give them His Spirit in their work. May they see all.
Nice singing at our Church this evening; Miss Dussels; new doctor sick; "ipperkonders" gave him cocoa.
Weinanda dead; thank G.o.d! another burden of suffering ended.
Woman I prayed with in hospital this afternoon, dead this evening.
Girlie (35) Ackerman also dying.
Mrs. De Wet called me to her bedside (hospital), and asked me to pray that she might sleep. May G.o.d"s angels guard over those hospital tents this night.
Monday, September 9.-Ladies" Commission; one of them, Dr. Jane Waterston. Glorious rain. How nice it will be to sleep with the soothing music of falling showers.
Our new kitchen getting on famously. What a comfort it will be when finished. It takes 800 bricks to build a kitchen here, and few there be that possess such a luxury. Spent half an hour in kitchen of hospital after visits; delighted with the sight of walls again; more determined than ever to go and do likewise. Am sure won"t need more than 3,000 bricks to build a regular palace, and won"t it be glorious! Besides, one does not know in the least, how long we are still to remain here, and even were it only a month longer it would be worth while.
Doctor gave up 71; went and found woman dead; child very sick; found Mr. Becker there.
Just after dinner was called to see one of the little orphans of few days ago; went at 2.30; too late; bad of me; should have gone immediately.
To-day saw the thinnest, boniest woman imaginable; Mrs. Booysen; just a skeleton; husband Ceylon; daughter here; son and daughter still at the front.