"I"m sorry, I thought everyone was asleep." Talli started to rise.
"No, stay. Don"t leave on my account." Derek dropped down heavily into the opposite chair.
Talli watched him shove his fingers through his gray streaked hair with a groan. "I"m a good listener, if you want to talk, that is."
"Things aren"t going the way I planned. All of the interviews I"ve had so far have been duds. Worse than that, I can"t believe anyone would actually consider those women to be mother material."
"Why not?"
"You wouldn"t believe me if I told you."
Talli shrugged. "Try me."
Derek stood. "Okay, you asked for it. Yesterday, the first interview, Helga, she was a big German woman, taller than me." He raised his hand a good five inches above his head. "She was roughly six foot six, and very muscle bound. She literally picked me up to show me how strong she was, as if that mattered. I thought she broke my ribs."
Derek put his arms around an imaginary figure and bounced it up and down. "Then she kept telling me over and over, "Ja, I am strong, I make Arnold-type babies. No sissy weaklings." Would you believe she started to take off her clothes right then and there in the living room? After I told her this was only an interview, she left, riding off on a ten speed bicycle."
Talli shook her head, unable to hide a smile. "They couldn"t all be that bad?"
Derek grinned. "Oh no, well how about Lady Number Two. Tiffany, the model. She walked like a panther on the prowl. Have to admit, she had a body that would stop a train."
"She was fat?" Talli silently prayed the woman was as big as a barn.
Derek paused, a wicked gleam in his eye. "Not an ounce of fat anywhere. She was drop-dead gorgeous."
"So, what was the problem?" Talli hated the woman, sight unseen.
"Other than the fact that she was so busy preening in the fireplace mirror?" Derek placed a hand on his hip, and strutted his way across the kitchen, imitating Tiffany"s walk. "Let"s see, she"s a vegetarian, doesn"t even eat seafood and won"t wear furs. She didn"t realize she would actually have to get pregnant. Thought she could just wear a pillow under her clothes for nine months." He sashayed his way back across the room.
"Then what?" Talli croaked out between laughs.
"Ah yes, on to today"s interviews. The infamous Betty Bender, meter maid. Did you know it takes something like thirty six million, two hundred and some seconds to have a baby? That equals nine months. Time is money, you know. When I walked into the room, she was shoveling cookies into her mouth as if it was her last meal. I thought for sure I would end up as dessert."
"You got to be kidding." Talli held her sides, tears of mirth rolling down her face. "Stop, no more."
"Can"t stop yet, there"s still one left to go." Derek dropped back down into the chair. "Last but not least, we had Gail, the bartender."
"A bartender? You interviewed a bartender? Gee, your standards are lower than I thought."
"Ha ha. I walked into the living room to find her making herself quite at home with a pitcher of martinis. Told me to plop my feet and cop a seat."
Talli listened, fascinated with the tales Derek was telling her.
"Told me she could be the oven for my "bun", belched continuously, then said she was saving for her own bar, was going to call it the Slurp & Burp. Original, huh?"
"Definitely," Talli laughingly acknowledged.
"If that"s not enough, she started to tell me dirty jokes. Actually, I had already heard them before, but still." Derek paused, his eyes meeting Talli"s. "They were definitely all one watermelon short of a picnic, that"s for sure."
"You"re making this up."
"I am not," Derek protested.
She shook her head, her giggles filling the silence of the room.
All at once, Derek realized, it did seem funny. Everything that had happened since yesterday replayed itself like a bad "B" movie through his head. Within minutes, he too was laughing as hard as Talli.
Derek reached across the table and stole one of Talli"s cookies.
The simple movement pulled on one of the muscles Helga"s show of strength had obviously bruised.
"Ouch!" he exclaimed, unable to stifle his reaction to the unexpected pain.
"Is something wrong?" Talli asked, her voice whisper-soft with genuine concern.
"It"s just a pinched nerve--or bruised muscle. Obviously, I"m not as strong as my would-be surrogate, Helga. Ja!" Slowly, he rotated his shoulders and stretched his neck. "So, Talli, what do you suggest I do?"
"First, relax." Talli stood up and moved to stand behind him. Her fingers kneaded his shoulders, a slow steady stroking against his knotted muscles. "Lean forward and rest your head on your arms." She continued rubbing her palms across his shoulders, her fingers searching for and finding his tense spots.
"That feels so good," he mumbled.
"Why didn"t you have your lawyer screen them first? He could have weeded out the loonies for you at least."
"Nope. I said I wanted to see all the applicants myself. I would do the screening, not Anthony."
"Anthony?"
"Anthony Baretti, my lawyer." He groaned, as Talli"s fingers worked their magic on his sore shoulders.
"There, that should do it." She walked around the table and sat down, reaching for another peanut b.u.t.ter cookie. She closed her eyes and savored the taste. "Mmm."
Derek watched the emotions flicker across her face as she enjoyed the cookie. He found himself fascinated as she slowly chewed, then swallowed. His throat constricted at the expression of pure joy on her face. All over a cookie. What was wrong with him? He was panting after her like one of his own dogs.
Talli opened her eyes and caught him staring.
"What, is it all over my face or something?" She swiped at her chin with the back of her hand, suddenly conscious of her actions.
"No, it was nothing. Sorry."
"So, let me get this straight. You"re going to keep interviewing until you find someone who fits the part?"
"Yup." Derek nodded, reaching for his iced tea.
"No offense, but are you nuts or what? Do you know what kind of riffraff is out there looking to take advantage of a guy like you?"
"Excuse me? Riffraff? So, I take it you have a better idea." Derek countered her statement with one of his own.
"As a matter of fact I do. I want to apply. Besides, you need me," Talli stated confidently.
"I do?"
"Yes."
"No, absolutely not. I can"t, it wouldn"t be right."
"Why? What do they have that I don"t have?"
His gaze roved over her body, taking in the faded football jersey and well-worn leggings. "Other than strong babies, incessant preening, the ability to count high numbers in a single bound and an award winning belch? Not much, I guess."
"I"m serious." Talli banged her hand down on the table.
"You"re my employee. You already have a position here. You"re my pet sitter, for G.o.d"s sake." He bit back a groan as she leaned closer, the football jersey riding dangerously low on one shoulder.
"So, isn"t that what they would be as well? Your employee. Besides, it"s perfect. You know me, Maimie and Joseph know me, even the dogs already know me. You wouldn"t have to get used to someone new."
"No, I refuse to even consider the possibility. My answer stands." Derek shoved his chair back and left the room without so much as a backward glance at Talli.
Talli knitted her eyebrows together in frustration. Why wouldn"t he let her apply? She thought it was the perfect idea. She wasn"t loony like the women he had interviewed the past two days. True, she already worked here, but what difference did that make? At least he wouldn"t be letting a serial killer loose on the premises.
"We"ll see about that, Derek. You do need me, more than you"ll ever know."
She flicked off the light, bathing the room in darkness. This would require some fancy finagling on her part to pull it off, and she knew just the man to help her.
Sliding off the stool, she headed for her bedroom.
When Derek entered the office building the next morning, the front lobby was awash with female bodies. Tall, short, thin, heavy. Every hair color imaginable met his gaze. Wall to wall women. A single man"s dream, yet all Derek could think about was what was wrong with them? After the fiasco of the past two days, he closely scrutinized the faces before him. Dropping a nod in the direction of his security guard, Derek pa.s.sed through the metal detector, onward toward the elevator banks.
Alone in the elevator car, Derek mentally went over his list for the day. The Carson merger was at eleven, followed by lunch with Anthony to look over the latest round of applicants, then drinks with the Mayor at seven that evening. Another busy day ahead of him, he thought. The elevator bell heralded his arrival on the fourteenth floor. Derek stepped out, nodding to his personal secretary Margaret. She rose in a smooth fluid motion to follow him into his private inner sanctum.
"Calls?"
"Yes sir. Thirty-six already this morning. I referred them to Mr. Baretti."
"Good. What else? Any schedule changes?"
"The Carson general managers will be here at eleven for you to sign the papers. Lunch with Mr. Baretti is on for noon. I"ve already made reservations for two at Napoleons."
Derek nodded for her to continue.
"This evening you"re meeting with the Mayor and his wife about the benefit for the Children"s Castle. I took the liberty of preparing a few notes for you on the pertinent figures you"ll need to persuade the Mayor that this is a worthy cause for the city to back. Oh, Mr. Maxwell from Wardell sent over a basket of fresh fruit. I had it expressed to the Children"s Castle less than an hour ago. The card is on your desk."
She verbally repeated what he already knew, except for the basket of fruit.
Derek smiled at Margaret. She had been with him from the start and he didn"t know what he would do without her help. She was invaluable. He ought to give her a raise. She certainly deserved it.
"Excellent. Leave the papers on my desk. I"ll look them over before I leave tonight."
"Yes, sir." Margaret laid the papers on the corner of his desk, and moved toward the door.
"Margaret," Derek looked up at her retreating back. "Do you think this is a foolish idea?"
She seemed to be wavering over an answer.
"Honestly, Margaret," he prompted.
"Well, Mr. Cameron. It"s not the way I would have approached the situation, but you know what you want out of life. So, if you insist that you don"t want a wife and yet do want a child, then I guess this is the only course of action you have open to you." She walked out of the room and pulled the door shut behind her.
Derek smiled, noting how neatly she had sidestepped giving him her opinion and foisting it back to him.
Shortly before noon, Derek buzzed the outer office.
"Margaret, have Joseph bring the car around."
"Yes, sir."
Within minutes, Derek was out of the building and on his way to meet Anthony Baretti for lunch. Settling himself into a private corner booth where he could watch the coming and going of the crowd, he sat back and ordered a martini.
Anthony slid into the seat next to him, and dropped a fresh stack of multi-colored papers on the table.
"Bring me whatever Mr. Cameron"s having and make it a double."
"You all right?" Derek asked with concern, when Anthony loosened his tie and closed his eyes.
"I"m fine for now, but these women are going to be the death of me. This is your newest set of applicants. Just from this morning alone." Anthony gestured to the pile on the table. "There"s fifty two there with probably another fifty filtering in this afternoon. It"s been a steady stream over the weekend. They just keep coming."
"And you thought I wouldn"t get any responses," Derek joked.
Anthony sat up straighter in the booth. "Seriously though, there is one resume that stands out from the crowd." He reached for the top sheet. "This one here. Check it over."
Derek picked up the off-white colored paper and started to read. "Single, young, stable background, loves kids. Hmm, says here she"s in perfect health too. No emotional ties at the current time. What"s the hitch?"
"No hitch. None that I can find anyway."
"Set up an interview for this afternoon then."
"What time?"
Derek looked at his watch. "Make it for five, my office."
Anthony scribbled a note on the napkin, then tucked it into his suit coat pocket. "Okay, what about these?" He pushed the remaining resumes across the table.
"I"ll check them over later this afternoon and let you know if there"s any I want to see."
Anthony speared a french fry, waving his fork at Derek. "So, you think the Mayor will agree to the benefit?"