Any woman reading Proverbs may be tempted to conclude that its authors tended to blame women for weaknesses actually rooted in the male psyche, especially when it comes to s.e.xual sin. But to balance things out there are also some odious descriptions of men, including scoundrels, villains, chattering fools, and sluggards. And Proverbs actually opens and closes with positive portrayals of women: first as wisdom personified and then as a woman who can do no wrong.
Just who was this woman on a pedestal described in Proverbs 31? Was she, as many think, the ideal wife and mother? In traditional Jewish homes, husbands and children recited the poem in Proverbs 31 at the Sabbath table. Written as an acrostic, each line begins with a Hebrew letter in alphabetical sequence, making it easy to memorize. The poem describes a wealthy, aristocratic woman with a large household to direct. She was hardworking, enterprising, capable, strong, wise, skilled, generous, thoughtful of others, dignified, G.o.d-fearing, serene - a tremendous credit to her husband. She arose while it was still dark to feed her family. She looked at a field, considered its merits, and purchased it. She wove cloth and made linen garments, which she then sold. "Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do n.o.ble things, but you surpa.s.s them all" " " (verses 28-29).
The description of the woman in Proverbs 31 offers a refreshing contrast to other ancient depictions of women, which tend to portray them in more frivolous and decorative terms, emphasizing only their charm or beauty. Still, the perfect woman of Proverbs 31 hasn"t always been a friend to ordinary women. In fact, she has sometimes been rubbed into the faces of lesser women by critical husbands and preachers unable to resist the temptation. What woman could ever measure up to her? And is a woman"s worth to be measured only by what she can accomplish in the domestic sphere? Or is the woman in Proverbs 31 a symbol of all the contributions a woman could make within the culture of her day? Regardless of how you answer these questions, there is more to her story than simply being the ideal wife and mother.
Before we can discover more about her true ident.i.ty, it is worth posing a broader question: Are there really all that many women running around in the pages of Proverbs? Perhaps, in fact, there are only two main women in Proverbs: the wise woman and the woman of folly (as some have called her). The latter encompa.s.ses the adulteress and her many wicked counterparts; the former encompa.s.ses wisdom in the abstract and wisdom made concrete in the woman of Proverbs 31.
In Proverbs 3:13 - 16 a young man is instructed: "Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor." Here is wisdom in the abstract, personified as a woman.
Proverbs 31 echoes this praise: "A wife of n.o.ble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. . . . She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard" (verses 10, 12 - 16). Here is a concrete example of what wisdom looks like in a person"s life.
By contrast, the man who welcomes the brazen-faced woman, the prost.i.tute, the adulteress is nothing but a fool. He has fallen prey to the woman of folly, who offers deceitful pleasures that will lead to his death.
From beginning to end, Proverbs is a practical handbook for leading a life based on wisdom. In the end, there are only two choices for both men and women: to embrace wisdom or to love folly. The woman of Proverbs 31 may well be meant to inspire both men and women with a picture of what a virtuous life, male or female, is capable of producing: shelter for others, serenity, honor, prosperity, generosity, confidence about the future - true blessedness. Who wouldn"t want to be like such a woman? Who wouldn"t sing her praises?
Tuesday HER LIFE AND TIMES.
SPINNING AND WEAVING.
The woman of Proverbs 31 was a real pro at working with fabrics. She started by selecting the wool and flax (verse 13), then spinning it into threads (verse 19). She wove the woolen threads into rich scarlet clothing to keep her family warm in snowy weather (verse 21). She wove the flax threads into linen for bed coverings, for fine clothing for herself, and for clothing and sashes to sell (verses 22, 24).
Traditionally women"s work, the spinning and weaving of cloth for clothing, bedding, rugs, and other needs occupied a tremendous amount of the time and talents of Hebrew women. Fibers from plants like cotton and flax or wool from sheep were spun and twisted in order to produce a long thread. That thread could then be used to sew fabrics together with needles made of bone or it could be used to weave new fabric. Weaving, an art that the Hebrews probably perfected while they were in Egypt, was done on a rudimentary loom.
Old Testament families used fabrics for a variety of purposes. The oldest and most common fabric in biblical times was wool. Woolen fabrics were woven from the hair of lambs and sheep and were made into the everyday clothing worn by the common person, even in hot weather. Linen, which was woven from the flax plant, formed the fabrics from which inner clothing was made. Some linen was so finely woven that it formed a silky, translucent cloth from which the rich made their garments. Heavy cloth woven from goat or camel hair formed waterproof tents and outer clothing.
Sound like a lot of work? It was. The women of a household spent virtually every spare moment on one part or another of the task of making fabrics. The "wife of n.o.ble character" in Proverbs 31 works "with eager hands" (verse 13), and it seems as if the spindle and distaff never leave her fingers (verse 19). That"s why "she has no fear for her household" (verse 21). Spinning and weaving have kept her busy all the time, but she and her family are ready for the cold weather.
Does just reading about the Proverbs 31 woman make you tired? Do you wish she would just sit down and rest a moment? Whatever your response to this larger-than-life woman, you can"t help but notice that she never wasted the time given her. In our convenient culture of store-bought clothing and fast-food restaurants, you may not need to weave your own cloth or cook your own meals - but that"s not the issue. The issue is what you are doing with the time that"s been given to you.
Wednesday HER LEGACY IN SCRIPTURE.
Read Proverbs 31:10 - 31.
1. Does this pa.s.sage seem out of touch with reality to you? Why? What would make it seem more of a reality for today"s woman?
2. How does this woman"s husband view and treat her? Why?
3. List some of the different tasks that keep this woman busy. Now list how she goes about her work.
4. Look at Proverbs 31:25. Imagine someone saying these words about you. What thoughts and feelings leap to your mind?
5. What does it mean to fear the Lord (Proverbs 31:30)? Why is that more important than being beautiful or good at home decorating or crafts or business?
6. What would it take for you to become more of a woman who fears the Lord, one who can laugh at the days to come?
Thursday HER PROMISE.
Many women find Proverbs 31 discouraging. Don"t let that happen to you. Remember, this very capable woman is ultimately praised not so much for all she accomplishes as for one thing: She fears the Lord. The woman who is worthy of praise is not necessarily the one who does all her own sewing or is a great cook or is a natural beauty-the woman who gets the praise is the woman who fears the Lord. That"s the target to aim for. Not outward beauty. Not a perfectly decorated home. Not even more intellectual knowledge or business ac.u.men. Instead, aim for a bold, all-consuming love for G.o.d. Then you too will be worthy of praise.
Promises in Scripture The fear of the Lord - that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.
-Job 28:28 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
-Proverbs 31:30 "Love the Lord your G.o.d with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind"; and, "Love your neighbor as yourself."
-Luke 10:27 Friday HER LEGACY OF PRAYER.
For wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her.
-Proverbs 8:ii Reflect On: Proverbs 8:11 - 36.
Praise G.o.d: For the gift of wisdom, which preserves, blesses, and even prolongs our life.
Offer Thanks: For the benefits of wisdom you have already tasted in your daily life.
Confess: Any tendency to choose the wisdom of the world over the wisdom of G.o.d.
Ask G.o.d: Every day to make you a woman who longs for wisdom, who prefers it to silver and gold.
Lift Your Heart Proverbs is full of pithy statements that contain profound wisdom for daily life. Look through this book of Scripture and select a few favorites, then commit them to memory. Elere"s a few to get you started: A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
-Proverbs 17:22 Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.
-Proverbs 18:2 Those who get wisdom love their own lives; those who cherish understanding will soon prosper.
-Proverbs 19:8 Lord, you know better than I the kind of heart in which wisdom grows best - one in which patience, faith, and humility are there to nourish it. Help me cultivate a heart in which wisdom can quickly take root and flourish. Let wisdom be so much a part of my life that it produces a shelter for others.
The Shulammite Woman.
Her Character: Hers is the only female voice that speaks directly and extensively to us in Scripture. Ruth"s, Esther"s, Hannah"s, and Mary"s voices, for instance, are all mediated through narration. The Shulammite woman boldly declares her longing and desire to be united to her lover in marriage.
Her Sorrow: To have been separated from her beloved at times.
Her Joy: To enjoy so pa.s.sionate a love.
Key Scripture: Song of Songs 1 - 8 Monday HER STORY.
She was young, beautiful, and desirable. He was handsome, strong, and agile, a shepherd or a king who lavished strange praise upon his beloved: He compared the Shulamite woman"s hair to a flock of goats running down a mountain slope, her nose to the tower of Lebanon, and her teeth ("each with its twin"!) to sheep that have just bathed. We smile at such images. But we are fascinated by this beautifully written collection of love songs. And though we know it is not merely some ancient Valentine"s Day card, we are not quite certain what to make of it.
Unlike any other book in the Bible, the Song of Songs is full of erotic imagery. The Shulammite woman was as pa.s.sionate as her lover, initiating contact with him, openly declaring her feelings. She yearned for kisses from his mouth, so in love that even his name smelled sweet to her. She wandered the city at night (or dreamt of wandering it) searching for him. She wished she could pa.s.s him off as her brother so that she could kiss him publicly without creating a scandal. Each declaration from her elicited a pa.s.sionate response from her lover, who sang of her, Your stature is like that of the palm, and your b.r.e.a.s.t.s like cl.u.s.ters of fruit.
I said, "I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit."
May your b.r.e.a.s.t.s be like the cl.u.s.ters of the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine.
- Song of Songs 7:7 - 9 Despite the ancient imagery, we get the message.
The story of the Shulammite woman and her lover isn"t properly a story, one with a clear narrative line, but a poetic expression of love in all its emotional ups and downs. The songs capture the desire, the anguish, the tension, and the ecstasy of love. But speakers and scenes shift so quickly that it can be difficult to understand. No wonder there have been so many different interpretations of the Song of Songs, more than any other book of the Hebrew Scriptures.
What makes this portion of Scripture even more enigmatic is that it never once mentions G.o.d. But if G.o.d has nothing to do with these love songs, how did this material ever make it into the canon of Scripture in the first place?
The Jews believed the book was not primarily about individual lovers but about G.o.d"s love for his people Israel. Christians initially read it as a parable of Christ"s love for the church and later as a parable of his love for the individual soul. Modern commentators tend to view it more literally, as an expression of the sacredness of married life, the fullest expression of love between a man and a woman. They praise its inclusion in the Bible because it celebrates marital love and the s.e.xual expression of that love. Anyone inclined to believe the Bible teaches a negative view of s.e.x should read this book of Scripture before drawing such a conclusion.
But who wrote these eloquent love songs? Some say various poets, while others say they were written by Solomon in praise of one of his many wives. Yet others have suggested they were written by a woman. Whatever the case, most admit that the poetry of the Song of Songs can be understood in more than one way. The story of the Shulammite, mysterious as it is, touches our longing to love and be loved.
Tuesday HER LIFE AND TIMES.
ROMANTIC LOVE.
The erotic poetry of Song of Songs is not merely an expression of s.e.xual desire but of the romantic love between a young man and a young woman. The love between the lover and the beloved is not merely one of physical pleasure and intimacy but one of a depth of feeling and commitment. True love doesn"t fade with the changes brought about by time but is stronger even than death. Neither the waters of time nor the rivers of disappointment or tragedy can wash it away (Song of Songs 8:6-7).
Most marriages in biblical times were arranged. When children were very young, their parents formed alliances to provide wives and husbands for their children. Many of these marriages took place when the partic.i.p.ants were young, so young that the rabbis eventually established the minimum age for marriage at twelve for girls and thirteen for boys. Mere children even then, romantic and committed love developed over the years of marriage.
Although not all marriages were love matches in the beginning, many arranged marriages were eventually characterized by love. Isaac loved the wife his father"s servant had gotten for him (Genesis 24:67). Elkanah loved Hannah, a wife he probably received by arrangement with her family (1 Samuel 1:8). A beautiful example of the sacrificial love of a husband for his wife is given in Exodus 21:2 - 5, where a husband willingly goes into servitude for life rather than leave the wife he loves.
A man could, however, choose his own bride, even against the desires or arrangements of his parents. Jacob wanted to marry Rachel because he loved her (Genesis 29:18) and got her sister, Leah, also as part of the bargain. Samson begged his father to get a young Philistine woman for him, certain she was the right one for him (Judges 14:3).
The Old Testament seems to a.s.sume that husbands will love their wives, whether chosen by or for them. The Teacher in Ecclesiastes tells husbands to be sure to "enjoy life with your wife, whom you love" (Ecclesiastes 9:9), as though a husband"s love for his wife is a given. The New Testament, however, urges husbands to love their wives. Four separate and clear times (Ephesians 5:25, 28, 33; Colossians 3:19) Paul mentions that husbands should love their wives, once even comparing that love to the love Christ has for his church.
If you have been so fortunate in your own marriage to experience a love even half as pa.s.sionate as the one described in the Song of Songs, read it in light of your story, thanking G.o.d for his blessing. But even if you haven"t, you can be glad that married love and its s.e.xual expression was G.o.d"s idea to begin with.You can also read the Song of Songs as a dialogue between G.o.d and your own soul. G.o.d"s love, after all, is more pa.s.sionate than any human love you could ever experience. He is the true Lover of your soul, ready to sing with you the greatest and most beautiful song of all.
Wednesday HER LEGACY IN SCRIPTURE.
Read Song of Songs 4:9 - 5:1.
1. What picture of married love do you get from this pa.s.sage?
2. When you think about your own marriage or singleness in light of this pa.s.sage, what thoughts and feelings arise in you?
3. Imagine G.o.d having such pa.s.sion for you. How do you respond?
Read Song of Songs 8:6 - 7.
4. How do these verses express the commitment between the lover and the beloved? What does it take to sustain such a commitment?
5. Throughout history, intimate love relationships have been shamefully distorted and profaned. Song of Songs gives G.o.d"s vision of what love relationships were meant to be. What can you do to pursue such a relationship with your husband or with G.o.d?
Thursday HER PROMISE.
G.o.d doesn"t promise the Song of Songs kind of erotic, intimate, earthly love to everyone. He blesses many marriages with it, but it is not something everyone enjoys. However, he does promise to love his people with the same depth of love described here. That includes you.You are his treasured one, his beloved, and he delights in you just as these lovers delight in each other.
Promises in Scripture For you are a people holy to the Lord your G.o.d. The Lord your G.o.d has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession.
-Deuteronomy 7:6 Praise be to the Lord, for he showed his wonderful love to me.
-Psalm 31:21 For the Lord takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with salvation.
-Psalm 149:4 I have loved you with an everlasting love.
-Jeremiah 31:3 The Lord your G.o.d is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.
-Zephaniah 3:17 Friday HER LEGACY OF PRAYER.
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.
Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.
- Song of Songs 8:6-8 Reflect On: Songs of Songs 1:2 - 4; 2:10 - 13; 8:6 - 8.
Praise G.o.d: That nothing can separate us from his love.
Offer Thanks: That Christ"s pa.s.sion has rendered us beautiful in the eyes of G.o.d.
Confess: Any failure to believe G.o.d truly is the Lover of your soul.
Ask G.o.d: To help you enter into this dialogue of love with him.
Lift Your Heart The Shulammite woman was so captivated by her lover that his name was like perfume that made everything in her world smell good. In biblical times, names actually revealed the person. Knowing someone"s name was equivalent to knowing that person"s essence. This week, light a fragrant candle as you take time to reflect on one or more of G.o.d"s names. Look up relevant Scripture pa.s.sages and ask G.o.d to reveal himself more deeply to you.
Creator of Heaven and Earth (Genesis 14:19) My Song (Exodus 15:2) Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6) Good Shepherd (John 10:14) Counselor (John 14:26) Father of Compa.s.sion (2 Corinthians 1:3) Savior (1 Timothy 4:10) Light (1 John 1:5) Lord, I have placed you as a seal over my heart. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate me from your love.
Gomer.
HER NAME MEANS.
"Completion"
Her Character: Though a married woman, she carried on numerous love affairs, crediting her lovers for the gifts her husband had given her.
Her Sorrow: To have become the symbol of spiritual adultery-a picture of Israel"s unfaithfulness to G.o.d.