I didn"t answer. Clay pulled the phone away from his mouth and swore. The line hissed and twittered as if the receiver was being jerked. I heard a thump and crackle. Then silence. I started to hang up when Clay"s voice came back, m.u.f.fled, then clear.
"Okay," he said. "Okay." He inhaled, the sound echoing down the line. "We need to talk. I"ll be right there and we"ll talk."
Again, I didn"t answer.
"We need to talk," he repeated. "No tricks. I promised and I"m sticking to it, Elena. No tricks. I don"t want to win that way anymore. We"ll go someplace public, wherever you"re comfortable, and we"ll talk. Hear me out, then you can leave whenever you want."
"Okay."
"I mean it. I know-" He stopped. "Okay?"
"That"s what I said."
He hesitated, then hurried on. "Give me ten minutes, fifteen tops. I"ll take the subway and meet you in front of your office."
He hung up without waiting for a reply.
As soon as I got off the phone, I went downstairs. I wondered what I was doing. Why had I agreed to meet Clay? What did I expect him to say: "Philip asked you to marry him?-that"s great, darling, I"m so happy for you"? Still, I didn"t turn around and go back inside. It wouldn"t do any good. I couldn"t hide. I didn"t want to hide. I shouldn"t need to hide.
My stomach began to churn. Anxiety. I closed my eyes and tried to relax, but the nausea got worse. The ground beneath me grew rubbery, unstable. I stumbled to one side, then righted myself, glancing around to make sure no one had noticed. My body jerked up, suddenly tense, alarmed. I looked around, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. As I turned to look behind me, I felt a brief moment of light-headedness. Everything went black.
A middle-aged man grabbed me as I fell. At least, that"s what I a.s.sume. One second I was standing on the sidewalk feeling light-headed, the next I was reclining backward looking up into the worried face of a stranger. My rescuer and his wife led me to a bench and sat me down. I mumbled something about skipping breakfast. They made sure I was okay, secured my promise to eat something and get out of the sun, then reluctantly moved on.
I went into the building, stood inside the doors, and checked my watch. Fifteen minutes had pa.s.sed since Clay had called. He should be here any moment. My stomach was still churning. It was definitely anxiety, but I couldn"t pin it down to a cause. Sure, my mind was spinning after Philip"s proposal and I didn"t really want to talk to Clay, yet for some reason the anxiety didn"t seem linked to either of these stressors. It floated there, oddly disconnected and distant.
I focused back on Clay. He"d promised not to trick me. That vow would last only as long as he got his way. If I decided to marry Philip or even to stay with him, Clay would go ballistic, all bets off, all promises forgotten. I knew that but, to my surprise, I wasn"t afraid of what he"d do. After all these years, I knew his tricks so well that they were no longer tricks. Whatever he tried, I could antic.i.p.ate it. I would be ready for it. He"d said last night that I needed to make a choice. He was right. I I needed to make that choice. I wasn"t going to let him do it for me. needed to make that choice. I wasn"t going to let him do it for me.
A clock somewhere sounded eleven chimes. I double-checked my watch. Yes, it was eleven. Clay had called at ten thirty-five. The anxiety pushed to the surface. Don"t be silly, I told myself. Twenty-five minutes wasn"t unreasonable. Maybe he couldn"t face the subway after all and had decided to walk. Something"s wrong, the voice from earlier whispered inside me. No, I told it. Nothing"s wrong.
I waited ten minutes longer. The anxiety was worse, my stomach roiling now. I had to go. Back to the apartment.
Discovery
As I swung open the apartment door, it struck something and bounced back toward me. I pushed it again. It opened a few inches, then stopped. I pushed harder. Whatever was in the way was heavy, but it moved, making a swishing sound against the carpet. Looking down, I saw a leg stretched across the floor. I squeezed through the narrow opening, nearly tripping over the leg in my haste to get inside.
It was Philip. He was sprawled behind the door. As I looked at him, my brain refused to register what I was seeing. I stood there, staring down, perversely thinking not, Oh, my G.o.d but, How did he get there. Even as I saw the blood pooled at his side, dripping from his mouth, smeared in a b.l.o.o.d.y trail across the carpet, my brain would only accept simple and ridiculous explanations. Had he pa.s.sed out? Fainted? Heart attack? Stroke? Seizure? Still numb, I dropped to his side and started going through the motions for basic first aid. Conscious? No. Breathing? Yes. Pulse? Neither strong nor weak. I lifted his eyelids, but didn"t know what I was checking for. As I pulled back his shirt, my fingers grazed across his side and slipped into a gaping wound. I pulled my hand back and stared at my bloodied fingers.
Clay.
I gagged, yanking back from Philip as if afraid of soiling him, and vomited a thin string of bile onto the carpet. The shock pa.s.sed in a second and I started to shake, alternating between fear and rage. Clay did this. No, he couldn"t have. Yes, he could could have, but he wouldn"t. Wouldn"t he? Why wouldn"t he? What would stop him? I hadn"t been here to stop him. But no, he wouldn"t do something like this. Why not? Because he"d been sweet and even-tempered for a few days? Had I forgotten what he was capable of? Not this. Never this. Clay didn"t attack humans. Unless they were a threat. But Philip didn"t know what we were, so he wasn"t dangerous, wasn"t a threat to the Pack, to our way of life. Maybe not to the Pack"s way of life, but to Clay"s . . . ? have, but he wouldn"t. Wouldn"t he? Why wouldn"t he? What would stop him? I hadn"t been here to stop him. But no, he wouldn"t do something like this. Why not? Because he"d been sweet and even-tempered for a few days? Had I forgotten what he was capable of? Not this. Never this. Clay didn"t attack humans. Unless they were a threat. But Philip didn"t know what we were, so he wasn"t dangerous, wasn"t a threat to the Pack, to our way of life. Maybe not to the Pack"s way of life, but to Clay"s . . . ?
Philip stirred. I jumped to my feet, suddenly remembering the most basic first aid response. I ran to the phone, lifted it, and dialed 911. It took a few seconds to realize I wasn"t hearing anything on the other end. I jammed the plunger up and down and dialed again. Still nothing. I looked down. The phone cord snaked around the table leg. The end lay a foot away, colored wires sticking out. Cut. Someone had deliberately cut the phone cord. I knew then that Clay hadn"t done this to Philip. He wouldn"t leave him alive, bleeding to death, then cut off the phone. Whatever else Clay was, he wasn"t a s.a.d.i.s.t.
I raced to the hall closet and flung it open. Philip"s briefcase was on its usual hook and his cell phone was inside its usual spot. I punched in 911, then told the operator that my boyfriend was wounded and unconscious, that I"d come home to find him like that and had no idea how badly he was hurt or how it had happened. I didn"t know if she believed me and I didn"t care. She took the address and promised an ambulance. That was good enough.
After turning off the phone, I ran to the closet, grabbed a sheet, and ripped it into strips. As I bound Philip"s side, I bent close enough to smell who had touched him, who"d done this to him. The scent that wafted up from his clothes wasn"t Clay"s, but it was someone I knew, someone whose smell registered without a moment of surprise. Thomas LeBlanc. In the back of my brain, I wondered how he"d found me, where he was now, whether he"d return, but I didn"t waste time pondering the questions. First priority was Philip. Second priority was finding Clay and warning him.
I checked Philip"s breathing and pulse again. Still the same. I leaned over him, braced his neck with one hand, and lifted him to check for any hidden wounds. As I shifted myself upward to kneel, I caught a glimpse of something under the hall table. A hypodermic needle. Fresh alarm surged through me. Had LeBlanc injected Philip with something? Poisoned him? Easing Philip down, I scrambled to the table. I was about to bend over to pick up the needle when I saw the ring on the tabletop. A gold band so familiar that I knew what it was without a closer look. Clay"s wedding band. Beneath it was a sheet of torn paper with a scribbled note. For a brief second, I thought Clay had taken off his ring, that he"d come up here before LeBlanc had arrived, removed the ring, written the note, then left-left me. Some emotion surged through me, but before I could a.n.a.lyze it, I realized the writing wasn"t Clay"s. My hands started to shake. I lifted the note. The ring slipped off and fell, tumbling toward the carpet. I lunged to grab it, my hand closing around the cool metal before it struck the floor. I turned back to the note.
Elena, Big Bear Motor Lodge. Rm. 211. Tomorrow. 10 A.M.
-D.
A sick feeling settled in my gut. Even as I bent to pick up the syringe, I knew what I"d smell on it. Daniel"s scent on the plunger. Clay"s on the needle.
"No," I whispered.
I yanked out the plunger and sniffed inside. A strong medicinal smell clung to the empty casing, but I couldn"t place it. Not poison, I told myself. Daniel wouldn"t use poison. LeBlanc might, but not Daniel. If it was poison, they would have left Clay, not just his ring. The ring and note were a sign. Clay was still alive. Still alive? The thought went through me like an icy knife, not that he was alive but that I would even need to consider the alternative.
"Oh, G.o.d," I whispered and swayed, grabbing the table to steady myself.
Get a grip, I told myself. Clay was okay. Daniel gave him something to knock him out. That"s why I"d fainted earlier, a manifestation of the sympathetic bond between us. Daniel drugged Clay and took him away but he was okay. I"d know if he wasn"t. Oh, G.o.d, I hoped I"d know. I looked at the note again. A meeting. Daniel had Clay and he wanted me to meet him tomorrow at ten in BearValley. And if I didn"t show up . . .
I dropped the paper and turned to run out the door. Philip"s body was still blocking the way.
"I"m sorry," I whispered. "Very, very sorry."
I bent to move him out of the way. As I touched him, his eyes flew open and his hand clasped around my wrist.
"Elena?" he said, looking around in confusion, eyes not focusing.
"You"re okay," I said. "I"ve called an ambulance."
"There was a man . . . Two men . . ."
"I know. You"re hurt but you"ll be okay. An ambulance is coming."
"Asking where you were . . . Didn"t tell them . . . Then Clayton . . . Fighting . . ."
"I know." Panic was edging into my voice. I had to go. Now. "Wait here. I"m going down to wait for the ambulance."
"No . . . Could still be there . . . Looking for you . . ."
"I"ll be careful."
I tried to pry Philip"s fingers from my wrist but he tightened his grip. As gently as possible, I wriggled free, then got to my feet. He lifted himself a couple inches and fell back again, blocking the door. He put a hand on my leg.
"No," he said again. "You can"t go."
"I have to."
"No!"
His eyes blazed with fever and pain. A pang of anguish went through me. I"d done this. I"d brought this to him. I had to stay and help. If he got upset, he might make himself worse. A few more minutes wouldn"t make any difference. My hands clenched at my sides. Clay"s ring jabbed into my palm and I jerked upright.
Ten o"clock. I had to be there by ten o"clock.
Philip said something, but I didn"t hear it. Panic flooded through me.
I had to leave. I had to leave now.
I tried to reason with myself, calm myself down, but it was too late. My body was already responding to the fear. A sudden jolt of agony doubled me in half. I was dimly aware of Clay"s ring falling to the floor, of Philip saying something. My head shot down, pulling back into my chest. A wail split the air, leaving my throat raw. I gasped, choking, sputtering for air. As I toppled forward, my arms went out to break my fall. I tried to pull into myself, keeping my head down, but my legs spasmed and my head jerked back. Through the fog of pain I saw Philip"s face in front of mine, saw his eyes, saw the revulsion and horror there. I fell to all fours, hunching into myself. My back went up. My shirt split. I wailed again, this time an unearthly howl. The Change was coming so fast and so strong I couldn"t even think of stopping it. My brain went blank, filled with nothing but fear and agony. My body convulsed once, then again, seizures so powerful that I felt I"d be ripped in half and I didn"t care, aware only that it would stop the pain. Then it ended.
I lifted my head and knew that I was a wolf. There was one moment of total exhaustion that vanished as quickly as it came. Panic and terror instantly took its place. I looked up. Philip lay on the floor a few feet away. All I could see were his eyes, staring at me in helpless horror.
I turned, ran across the room, closed my eyes, and plunged through the balcony doors. The gla.s.s exploded. Shards of gla.s.s sliced through my fur and skin, but I barely felt them. Without pausing or even thinking, I vaulted up and over the railing. For a moment, I was airborne. Then I hit the gra.s.s four stories below. My left front paw twisted. Pain shot through my leg. Someone shouted. I ran.
I tore around the building and into the underground parking garage. Ducking behind the first car, I listened for following footsteps. When none came, I shook myself and tried to relax and concentrate. Even if no one came after me, I was stuck. So long as I was anxious and panicked, I couldn"t Change back. Even if I did, I"d be naked in a parking garage. I might be able to find clothes, but then what? My wallet, with money, credit cards, and ID, was in the apartment. Without them, I couldn"t get out of Toronto. Not only would I need to find clothing, but I"d need to go back up to the apartment. I couldn"t do that. Philip has seen me and the ambulance would be here any minute. Maybe if I waited . . . For how long? When, if ever, would it be safe to go back? Daniel"s note flashed in my brain. Ten a.m. tomorrow. The deadline. Anxiety surged again, shoving all rational thought from my brain.
Go.
Go now.
I hesitated only a moment, then obeyed.
I took the back alleys where I could and side roads where I couldn"t. People saw me. I didn"t care. I kept running. When I got out of Toronto, I raced across fields and forests and open pastures. Logically, my flight made no sense. I would have been better off waiting in the parking garage, sneaking back up to the apartment after an hour or so, and catching a plane. Yet this never occurred to me. Every fiber in me rebelled at the thought of waiting. My gut told me to act and I did.
My brain shut off as I ran, letting instinct control my muscles. Hours later I arrived at an obstacle that my instincts alone couldn"t handle: the Niagara Falls border crossing. I spent nearly an hour pacing behind a warehouse, my thoughts slipping and sliding like a car on ice, whirring uselessly. Finally, I regained enough control to contemplate the problem and come up with a solution. There was a huge line of trucks backed up across the bridge, slowed down in customs by some new U.S. entry regulation. Thanks to bureaucratic red tape, I had time to pick out a truck with a canvas-covered trailer and sneak on board. Thankfully the cargo wasn"t checked at the border and the truck continued unhindered from Niagara Falls, Ontario, to Niagara Falls, New York. The truck left the city and headed south toward Buffalo. My gut screamed, Wrong Way! and I found myself flying off the back of the truck before my brain had time to protest. I hit the curb hard and rolled into a ditch. As I got to my feet, the paw that I"d hurt leaping from the balcony buckled under me. My stomach growled, reminding me I"d missed lunch and dinner. I thought of slowing down, finding a patch of woods and hunting for dinner, but the panic switch in my head went on, shutting down all higher reasoning. Run, it said. So I did.
By nightfall I was moving on pure fear and momentum. No matter how hungry I was, I was certain that if I stopped, I"d never get started again. Ten o"clock, my gut screamed each time I thought of pausing to rest or eat. Ten o"clock. Stop even for a second and you"ll never make it. And if you don"t make it. . . I refused to think of that. It was easier to keep running.
It must have been nearly midnight when a thunderous roar in my head sent me pitching forward into the gra.s.s. As I got back up, the boom came again. I whined, lowered my head and shook it, scratching at my right ear with my forepaw. Got to run. Can"t stop. I lurched forward.
"Elena!" The boom in my head took on a voice and words. Jeremy. His voice roared again, splitting my skull with its intensity. "Elena! Where are you?!"
I lowered my head again and whimpered. Go away, Jeremy. Go away. You"re making me stop. I can"t stop.
"Where are you, Elena? I can"t contact Clay! Where the h.e.l.l are you?"
I tried to answer, if only to shut him up, but my brain wouldn"t form words, only images. Jeremy went silent and I stood there, dazed and wondering if I"d heard him at all. Was I hallucinating? I was awake, wasn"t I? Jeremy couldn"t contact us when we were awake. Was I sleeping or losing my mind? It didn"t matter. Ten o"clock, ten o"clock, ten o"clock. You"ll never make it. Run.
I stumbled forward and ran. Soon I started blacking out. I was still moving, but everything kept fading in and out. My legs were numb. I could smell the blood trailing from my torn pads. One minute the ground was like a bed of nails beneath my paws, the next it was like cotton and I was floating above it, racing faster than the wind. It was suddenly day, then night again. I was running through a town. No, I was running through Toronto, the CN Tower beckoning in the distance. I heard voices. A shout. A laugh. Clay"s laugh. I strained to see through the night. Fog had rolled in from LakeOntario, but I could hear him laughing. The concrete turned to gra.s.s. The fog wasn"t from the lake, but from a pond. Our pond. I was at Stonehaven, bounding through the back acres. Clay was running ahead of me. I could see s.n.a.t.c.hes of gold fur bobbing through the trees. I dug my claws in and ran faster. Suddenly, the ground ended. I was running through the air. Then I was falling. I scrambled for a foothold, but there was nothing around me but inky blackness. Then there was nothing at all.
Caged
I awoke to the sensation of cold. As I shivered, I felt wet gra.s.s beneath my bare skin. I opened one eye. Trees. Long gra.s.s. A meadow. I tried lifting my head but couldn"t. Clay. That was my first thought, but I didn"t know why. Had I been running with him? I couldn"t smell him. Why couldn"t I raise my head? There was nothing holding me down. My muscles just refused to respond. Was I dead? Dead. Clay. I remembered and my head shot up. Blinding pain pierced my skull.
Something warm and soft fell around my shoulders. I jerked up, crying out in pain as I moved. A jacket lay over my bare torso, the smell of it so familiar, yet so impossible. Was I dreaming? Hallucinating? I felt hands slipping under me to lift me up, the touch as familiar as the scent on the coat.
"Elena?"
A face bent over mine. Jeremy, dark hair falling over his forehead, shoved back with an impatient hand. Not possible. Not here. I closed my eyes.
"Elena?" Sharper now, worried.
I tried to move, but it hurt too much. Deciding to abandon myself to the hallucination, I lifted one eyelid.
"H-" I croaked, wanting to ask how he"d got there. "H-" Nothing more would come.
"Don"t try to talk," he said. "And don"t try to move. I"m going to carry you to the truck. It"s right over there."
"C-Cl-"
"They have him, don"t they?" His arms tightened around me.
"T-ten-o"clock," I managed to get out, then everything went dark again.
This time I woke to warmth, artificial heat blowing across my face. I heard the humming of a motor, felt the vibration and small b.u.mps of a car moving over a smooth road. I smelled old leather and shifted beneath the jacket slung around me. I stretched my legs, but the pain made me whimper and pull back.
"Is that too hot?" Nick"s voice. I felt his arm move over me and reach for the vent. He tilted it away from my face.
"Is she awake?" Jeremy somewhere nearby. In front of me. The front seat.
"I"m not sure," Nick said. "Her eyes are closed. You can probably turn down the heat. She"s got her color back."
The click of a dial. The harsh blowing fell to a quiet drone. I opened one eye, then the other. I was propped half-reclining in the back seat of the Explorer, my head resting near the side window, legs curled beside me on the seat. Scenery and cars sped past. Antonio was in front of me, in the driver"s seat. His eyes flickered toward me through the rearview mirror.
"She"s awake," he said.
A seat belt clicked open. Then the whir of denim on the cloth seats. Nick bent over me.
"Is it warm enough?" he asked. "Can I get you anything?"
"T-ti-"
"Don"t talk, Elena," Jeremy said. "Grab the water bottle from the cooler, Nick. She"s dehydrated. Let her sip it, but not too much."