"Well?"
"Mr. F---- says he never subscribed, and does not want it. He says, if you will send to his house, you can get all the numbers. He told the carrier not to leave it from the first."
"I paid an agent for his name."
"He says he told the agent that he didn"t want the paper. That he took more now than he could read."
"Swindled again!"
"Mr. G---- says he never saw the paper in his life."
"It"s sent regularly."
"Some mistake in the carrier. Mr. H---- paid, and wishes the paper discontinued."
"Very well."
"Mr. I---- says he can"t afford to take it. His name was put down without his consent."
I had received this name through one of my kind friends.
"Mr. J---- paid a dollar, and wants it stopped."
"Well?"
"Mr. K---- paid; also, Mr. L---- and Mr. M----."
"Well?"
"Mr. N---- says the paper is not left for him; but for a young man who has gone West. Thinks you had better stop it."
I erased the name.
Mr. O---- paid the agent."
"He never returned the money."
Mr. P---- and Mr. Q----, ditto."
"Never saw a copper of their money. Paid a quarter apiece, cash, for each of these subscribers."
"Mr. R---- says the paper is not worth reading. That he wouldn"t pay a shilling a year for it. I advise you to stop it. He never pays for any thing if he can help it. Mr. S---- paid. Mr. T---- paid up to this date, and wishes it stopped. Never ordered it. Mr. U---- paid. I called upon a great many more, but they put me off with one excuse or other. I never had a much worse lot of bills."
A basin of cold water on a sentimental serenader could not have produced a greater revulsion of feeling than did this unlooked-for return of my collector. Nineteen dollars and fifty cents, instead of about two hundred dollars, were all he had been able to gather up; there was no promise of success in the future on any different scale. I received the money, less ten per cent. for collecting, and was left alone to my own reflections. Not of the most pleasant kind, the reader may well imagine. For an hour I brooded over the strangely embarra.s.sing position in which I found myself, and then, after thinking until my head was hot and my feet and hands cold, I determined to reduce, immediately, the edition of my paper from three thousand to one thousand, and thus save an item of thirty dollars a week in paper and press-work. To send off my clerk, also, to whom I was paying seven dollars weekly, and with the aid of a boy, attend to the office, and do the writing and mailing myself. I then went over the subscription-book, and counted up the names. The number was just seven hundred and twenty.
I had but a little while before replied to a question on the subject, that I had about twelve hundred on my list. And I did vaguely imagine that I had that number. I knew better now.
To describe minutely the trials, sufferings, and disappointments of the whole year, would take too much time and s.p.a.ce. The subsequent returns of my collector were about on a par with the first. Finding it impossible to pay the printer and paper maker, as promised, out of the advance subscriptions falling due at the end of three months, I borrowed from some of my friends about four hundred dollars, and paid it over, stating, when I did so, that I must have a new contract, based upon a six months" credit.
I found no great difficulty in obtaining this from the paper maker, to whom I spoke in confident terms of my certain ultimate success. The printer required half cash, which I agreed to pay.
This arrangement I fondly hoped would give me time to make my collections, and, besides paying off the debt already acc.u.mulated, enable me to acquire a surplus to meet the notes given, from time to time, for paper and printing.
At the end of a year, my list, through various exertions and sacrifices, had arisen to twelve hundred. On this I had collected eight hundred dollars, and I calculated that there were about sixteen hundred dollars due me, which, I thought, if all collected in, would about square me up with the world. This I thought. But, when I came to go over my bill-book and ledger, I found, to my utter dismay, that I owed three thousand five hundred dollars! This must be a mistake, I said, and went over my books again. The result was as at first. I owed the money, and no mistake. But how it was, I could not for some time comprehend. But a series of memorandums from my cash-book, and an examination of printers" and paper makers" bills, at length made all clear. I had used, on my own personal account, four hundred dollars during the year. Office rent was two hundred and fifty. My carriers had cost over a hundred dollars. My boy one hundred and fifty, and ninety had been paid to the clerk during the first three months. Sundry little items of expense during the year made an aggregate of over a hundred.
Paper and printing for the first three months had been nearly a thousand dollars, and for the last three quarters about twenty-two hundred dollars.
To go on with this odds against me, I had sense enough to see was perfect folly. But, how could I stop? I was not worth a dollar in the world; and the thought of wronging those who had trusted me in full reliance upon my integrity, produced a feeling of suffocation. Besides, I had worked for a year as few men work. From sunrise until twelve, one, and two o"clock, I was engaged in the business or editorial duties appertaining to my enterprise, and to abandon all after such a struggle was disheartening.
After much deliberation, I concluded that the best thing I could do was to sell out my list of subscribers to another and more successful establishment in the city, and, for this purpose, waited upon the publisher. He heard me, and after I had finished, asked my terms. I told him fifteen hundred dollars for the list. He smiled, and said he wouldn"t give me five hundred for the whole concern, debts and all. I got up, put on my hat, and left him with indignant silence.
To go on was the worst horn for me to grasp in the dilemma in which I found myself. To stop, would be to do so with some three or four hundred persons paid in advance, for portions of a year. I was dunned, daily, by my printer, for money, and in order to meet the notes which had already fallen due, I had been compelled to borrow temporarily from my friends. Unable to arrive at any satisfactory conclusion, in despair, I summoned creditors and friends around me, and laid before them a full statement of my condition. There were some long faces at that meeting; but no one felt as I did. I shall never forget the suffering and mortification of that day, were I to live a thousand years.
The unanimous determination of the meeting was that I must stop, collect in the money due, and divide it pro rata among my creditors. I did so; announcing, at the same time, the heavy embarra.s.sment under which I had been brought, and earnestly soliciting those who owed the paper, to settle their accounts immediately. To the few who had paid the fraction of a year in advance, I stated how much I had lost, and appealed to their magnanimity for a remission of the obligation I remained under to furnish the paper for the time yet due to them. It was but the matter of a few cents, or a dollar at most to them, I said, but it was hundreds of dollars to me.
Well, and what was the sequel to all this? Why, to sum up what remains to be told, in a few words; only two hundred dollars out of the sixteen hundred were collected, and from those who had paid small trifles in advance, I received dozens of letters, couched in the most offensive terms. Some charged me with being a swindler, and said, if I didn"t immediately send the money overpaid, or some other paper in the place of mine, they would publish me to the world. Others said they would be in the city at a certain time and require me to refund; while many, residing on the spot, took out their money"s worth, by telling me to my face what they thought of my conduct. One man issued a warrant against me for thirty-five cents, the sum overpaid by him.
So much for my experience in starting a newspaper. A year and a half before, I had a clerkship which brought me in seven hundred dollars a year; was easy in mind, respected by all my friends, looked upon as an honest man by every one who knew me, and out of debt. I started a newspaper in a moment of blind infatuation, and now I owed above three thousand dollars, my good name was gone, and I was dispirited, out of employment, afraid to walk the street lest I should encounter some one I owed, and as wretched as a man could well be. I soon after left the city, and sought employment hundreds of miles away. So much for my experience in starting a newspaper.
THE WAY OF TRANSGRESSORS.
"Do not go out to-night, Amanda. The pavements are damp, and the air is loaded with vapour."
"Indeed, ma, I must go."
"Amanda, there is no necessity for your attending this party; and very urgent reasons why you should stay at home. Your cough is still troublesome, and a little exposure might give it permanency. You know that from your father you inherit a predisposition to disease of the lungs."
"You only say that to alarm me."
"Not so, my child; I know your const.i.tution, and know how fatally the exposure of a night like this may affect you."
"But I"ll wrap up warmly, and put on my India rubbers."
"A necessary precaution, if you will go out, Amanda. But I wish I could persuade you to be guided by me. You know that the Bible says, the way of transgressors is hard."
"I don"t know how you will apply that to me, ma. I am transgressing no law of divine appointment."
"Be not sure of that, Amanda."
"I do not understand you, ma."
"I will try and make my meaning clear. In our creation, as organized beings, we were so const.i.tuted as to bear a certain relation to every thing around us, and our bodily health was made dependent upon this relation. Here then, we have a law of health, which may be called a divine law--for there is nothing good that does not flow from the Divine Creator. If we violate this law, we become transgressors, and shall certainly prove the way we have chosen, in so doing, to be a hard one."
"Oh, is that all?" said the daughter, looking up with a smile, and breathing more freely. "I"ll risk the consequences of breaking the law you have announced."
"Amanda!"