Kellor was… Blank.
He knew everything that all those in the Palace spoke about him - whenever he came into this balcony to look out over the kingdom that he loved so much and think, he knew that they all thought that he was thinking about someone he must"ve lost earlier in his life.
Yet… What they didn"t know was that the entire reason behind him always wanting to come here the hope that it might help him fill up the blankness in his mind.
He even knew when all of it has started - it was when the king had left, apparently just on another normal trip, but Kellor knew for sure that this one was definitely more different than anything that the man had gone on until now.
He had no idea exactly why he had this feeling, but it had been accompanied by this blankness which kept telling him that there was something that was supposed to be there, but had perhaps been removed for reasons unknown.
This did not deter him from wanting to fill it in, though. He was a mage, and his consciousness was the sanctimonious existence that he revered and trained with the aim to one day allow it to achieve heights that had not been seen on this continent before.
Ever since his master had found him when he had been a simple woodcutter, he had always been told that one"s self was the most important thing that one could take control of in their lifetime. Since then, he had always made sure that he would have meditation sessions every day where he would just sit still and allow himself to feel that incredible existence that allowed his body to be something more than just flesh and bones.
Hence… He was sure that something had happened to it, but he just couldn"t figure out what.
Also, over these past few days, he had recognized that the same feeling might also be present in a few others in the Palace, especially among the ones who were at the top of the chain.
Yet… It was only he who could felt it so strongly, and he took it upon himself to find out what it was and hopefully give an explanation to the others.
Only Eloise felt it almost as strongly as him- but in her, it materialized as emotions which continued to keep flowing out of her eyes even though she didn"t understand why that was happening, whereas, for him, it was a kind of frustration that he could not shake off.
He had even asked himself many times why it was this place that he wanted to come to whenever he wanted to think about this: was it that this balcony, and this spot which overlooked the kingdom with the best possible view was trying to tell him something, perhaps by stirring something up in the deepest recesses of his mind?
He had asked himself this question many times, but he had found no answer. Still, this did not stop him from coming again and again and hoping that something, anything would change.
For some reason, it was more difficult today than it had been until now.
Difficult to come to terms with the fact that he might never find out just why he felt all of these things, and that he might even have to forget it all and move on if he wished for his life to get back to normalcy.
As the Grand Court Mage, he had responsibilities which kept pulling him away, and if he wished, he could completely indulge himself in them and actively forget all of these things.
Only… Even the thought of doing so felt so averse, almost as if he would be signing over a piece of himself that he did not wish to lose, no matter what.
However, with each day, it was getting harder and harder. Each day, the temptation to leave it would grow, and each day, he would have to fight it off.
There was definitely something, and he would find it, even if it meant that he would have to search until the ends of time.
And the reason behind this… Was that he knew that it was so extremely precious to him, that maybe even life would not be worth living if he did not find it.
With a sigh, Kellor was about to end this specific period of musing, which had, once again, been fruitless. Hopelessness washed over him, but he tried to keep it at bay as he put on a series expression and prepared to tackle the duties of the day.
A kingdom needed to be taken care of, and with the absence of the king, it was on their shoulders to do it properly, so that he would have no cause to complain when he returned.
But will he return?
This thought echoed in his mind, strangely, but Kellor shrugged it off. In all these years that he had known the king, although he had never been too close to the man, the one thing that they all knew was that he was a reliable person who definitely always kept the well-being of the continent in mind, and did whatever was necessary to keep it safe. Even now, he must have gone to increase his power to the next level in order to be prepared for the war that was coming, and they were all looking forward to what new heights he must"ve reached in this training session. True, he was shrouded in secrecy, and although some were a bit bitter over the fact that he never shared the causes of his sudden jumps in his power and was always a bit aloof, his dedication to the Kingdom could not be doubted.
Shaking his head and making the thought leave, Kellor turned around, but suddenly felt danger pulse in his mind.
He… Was not alone!
It was incredible! In the absence of the king, he was in command of the formations placed all over the Palace, but even as he used them, he detected no one in front of him.
But then who the h.e.l.l was the person standing right there, with an urgent glow in his eyes?
Right away, he decided to raise the alarm, but he suddenly stopped when the man spoke.
"Grand Court Mage Kellor. I have a message. In your entire life, you"ve only cried three times. Do not question me, for I"m here to give you the answers that you are searching for. Remember the third instance. I don"t need you to tell me what it was. It was when you entered the room of one young student of the National Academy, and had the conversation that would change your life. In it, he showed you his talent, and you were moved to tears, because you had finally found someone who could give you the salvation that you had always been searching for. Now… Thing back to it. Think about every single, little detail of that incident. Think about the expression of the young man in front of you, and his decision to trust you, even though it meant that he might die if your allegiance had lain elsewhere. Keep it in your mind. And now… Listen to this."
Kellor had gone almost into a trance as he heard these words, mainly because he knew, with certainty, that there was no one else in this world except him who were aware of what had just been said.
It was such a personal thing that he had never shared it with anyone, and hence, there should be no possible way in which the man in front of him should know about it.
The perplexity that he felt due to this made him pause, but when he was reminded of that memory, he couldn"t help but think back and follow the instructions that he was being given.
Indeed, that really had been an instance which changed his life, but now that he called it… Why did it almost seem hazy?
Why was it that in that memory… The face of the Young King was blurry, as if it was hiding something?
And finally, why… Was this memory giving him the same d.a.m.n feeling that was the reason behind him coming to this balcony every day and trying to unravel the mysteries of the peculiarities that he had found within his consciousness?
Grasping the fact that this might exactly be what he was waiting for, Kellor did not let go of that memory in his mind.
It was the moment right before that brilliant display of elements by the Young King that had told him that someone with enough talent had finally arrived in Lanthanor whom he could trust to change the fate of the then miserable Kingdom, but no matter how much he tried to remember the exact expression of the king, he kept failing.
Still, he kept that image in his mind, and suddenly, a voice was heard in the balcony where a formation had already come into being to block it from being heard anywhere else.
"Kellor."
It was a single word, spoken in the familiar voice of the king, but it contained many things which Kellor was sure that he had never heard before.
Trust, respect, concern, and finally…love.
It was the love that one would have for someone whom they regarded as having an equal position as their father, and it was so sweet that Kellor could only close his eyes, that had begun to tear up for only the fourth time in his life, and let it engulf him.
What… Was this? Wasn"t the king supposed to be an almost arrogant person who had never really talked that closely with them? Didn"t they know nothing about his personal life, and only that he had the ability to get inexplicable power-ups which he always kept using to defend the continent, and make it better?
No! That was definitely not the truth! There was something else!
As Kellor realized that he had been right all along, he suddenly started to laugh, just like a little child who had found the present that had been hidden by his parents successfully. They had denied that they had even bought one, but he had known, and he had stuck to his faith.
His happiness really was that sincere and pure, and the man in front of him also smiled, as if he was glad that he had been able to give this to him.
No new memories came to Kellor, but now, he was certain that they were there: they were gone, for some reason, and he had a feeling that he would find out why, soon.
It was only that one image that he had remembered which had changed: that hazy face in his memory changed to one that was filled with determination and trust, and he was now certain that someone who had looked at him like that would definitely not act in the way that he remembered right now for all these years.
After a few moments, the man in front of him finally spoke up.
"I was asked to use this message to convince you, and I was told that you would find a way to tell the others, if the need arose. Anyway, the memories you remember are false, and right now, the king needs you. Or rather… The kingdom does. a.s.semble everyone, and use whatever means needed to convince them of the same thing that has been revealed to you. Time is short, and we need to move quickly. Go, and come back here with all of them."
With a nod, Kellor immediately left, and seeing his back disappear in the corridor that led to the balcony, Percy allowed himself a small smile and nodded.
His senior disciple brother has been right: the maturity of the Grand Court Mage had allowed him to have a firm grasp of his consciousness, which had resulted in him being able to understand the crux of the situation in a short amount of time, as the truth would need too much explanation. He would also be most effective in convincing the others, and now, all that remained was to tackle the situation in front of them.
But… How were they going to do that?
As he looked out over the kingdom, too, just like Kellor had been doing until now, Percy could not help but wrinkle his nose and frown, seriously, because this was definitely going to be very, very difficult.