Daneel"s earliest memories were those of him growing up in the orphanage.
He had been a scrawny kid, and in the friendly fights that they got into, he would always lose.
He had never been charismatic like others to gather many people around him, nor did he have any qualities that made him popular, such as being funny, or having some other skill.
Mediocre. Or normal, if one wanted to mince words.
That was the impression that Daneel got from himself as he watched his childhood play out. Never standing out, and never being distinctive were his traits. Except for his studiousness that allowed him to score well, there was nothing else.
Yet…Daneel was focusing on each and every one of the thoughts that came to his mind, throughout each and every moment of his life.
This was tiring, but he endeavored, as he knew that this was how he would find his answer.
He had already been sure that the typical ones didn"t suit him.
World Domination? Sure, it really appealed to him, but it wasn"t what he was living for. He wanted to, and would achieve it, but what then? Would he incessantly go out and want to conquer the entire known universe just because he could? Would he want all others to bow before him because of his power?
If there was a need, Daneel would go down that route, but now, even though that was one of the answers that stood out a lot, he just wasn"t convinced that it was the only thing he wanted to do before he died.
It felt…shallow, and he knew that there was more to him than that.
The other answer, of course, was immortality, just like the protagonists of the books that Daneel had used to read.
Yes, that was also a very important goal, but again…after gaining immortality, then what?
If one only went forward with this in mind, they might just find that they would have an eternity to spend, but nothing to do during it, which might just drive them mad.
Time was an interesting thing, and he had seen how it changed those from the Big Four already. It made many feel detached from the world, and Daneel did not want this for himself, ever.
True, this wasn"t a reason for him not to pursue it, and although it was included in one of his goals as it was the basic thing that anyone with power would want to achieve, again…it wasn"t the entire answer.
These two might have been perfect answers for those perfect characters in books who had grown up with confidence and the clear goal to crush everyone beneath them when the time came, but Daneel wasn"t that person.
He had just been a normal guy who had drawn a really short stick in life, but after death, or whatever the f*ck had happened during that accident, he had gotten a second chance, and something to help him on his way.
Circ.u.mstances had kept pus.h.i.+ng him to rise, and change. He had been given the opportunity to leave behind the guy who had needed to beg on the streets for food, and he had managed to do so, mainly because he had had no intention of having a repeat of what he had experienced on Earth. Coming from a position in life where one had been that desperate, hopeless, depressed and suicidal…had changed him in ways that he, himself couldn"t describe, and it was possibly the thing that had pushed him so much to excel in Angaria, and get everything he wished.
Was it possibly…also fear of having to go to that condition again that had pushed him so?
This question came to Daneel as he watched himself in those darkest moments of his life.
He had been kicked out from college, and his last funds had already dried up. He had found refuge on the streets, and he had begun to scavenge what little he could find in garbage bins to feed himself.
That was before he had stopped himself from begging as he wanted to retain the last shreds of his dignity, but of course, when that source dried up, too, he had had to resort to it, with varied success.
These really had been the worst moments of Daneel"s life, and as he lived through them again, he realized that he had quite possibly blocked them off for quite a long while.
He was shocked now to see just how deplorable he had been.
Each and every pitying gaze that fell on him when he begged had been a blow to his heart, as he kept remembering the old woman, and the way she had raised him with so much love and hope.
What would she say now if she saw him like this?
Many on the streets asked him why he wasn"t working for food, as he was still young and must have energy.
The truth had been that those goons of that influential person had still been keeping an eye on him, and he had been refused even the simplest jobs.
Hence, Daneel had had no other option, and it had all been designed by that guy to make him feel like death was the best route to take.
And indeed, he had been suicidal. Daneel was shocked as he saw just how many times that thought had occurred in his mind, but each time, he would stop himself from simply walking forward into traffic and ending it all by remembering the face of the old lady before he left the orphanage, and the last words she had said to him.
"Go out and achieve everything you want, but if you ever feel lonely or sad, then just come right back here, as we will all be waiting for you."
She had said this with that genial smile that she always seemed to have on her face no matter what happened, and she had kissed his forehead afterward and bade him farewell.
Of course, he had gone back many times to the orphanage after that, but this moment had been special, and it had been instrumental in him continuing to live.
But wait…why had that been so?
Getting a small suspicion, Daneel thought back to it, and because he had just lived through it, he could check each and every thought that had gone through his mind, and each and every emotion that he had felt.
And this…was where Daneel got his first clue.
He had already seen them all before, but looking back on it with the perspective of one who was leading almost the worst life possible gave him a realization that made him understand just why Xandar had said that it was very valuable to be able to once again live through life.
Truth be told, he had been a bit skeptical regarding the difference between this and just him thinking back to his past. After all, as a Warrior, the complexity of his mind would allow him, and anyone else to recall each and every moment almost perfectly, unlike with normal humans whose memories were not as accessible.
Yet…the main difference was in perspective, and as Daneel got the first clue to his answer, he actually had to pause and see whether he was right, as it was weird.
However…it felt right, and even if it was different from all those other answers, it seemed to fit him perfectly.
Hence, Daneel latched onto it, and continued the experience.
As the moment where he had found that pamphlet for the experiment began to come up, he tried to look for any information that might help him in figuring out just what it was. Had he really died? Or could it be something else?
Sadly, he found nothing, and soon, the moment of his transmigration came.
Of course, to him, it had been as simple as closing his eyes, feeling a bit of pain and then waking up in a different world.
Daneel watched his early years in Angaria with interest.
One of the overriding emotions at that time had been happiness, as he had parents in this world.
He had never known what it must be like, and back on Earth, he had dreamed of it.
The reality had exceeded all of those dreams, though, and he had relished every moment he could spend with them.
And of course, one of his main motivations had been to change the status of his family and do right the wrong that had been done to his father, and Daneel watched as he plowed on, relentlessly.
Another thing to note had been his reaction when he had first heard the message from the system, which had stated that the ultimate goal was to dominate and conquer the world.
This was another strong indication that he wasn"t like those typical people, as they might have felt joy and jumped up to celebrate when they heard this.
Instead, he had just wanted to deal with what was in front of him, and that…gave Daneel another clue for the answer he was looking for.
This clue served to also tell Daneel that he was on the right track, and he took that in stride.
As he watched the highlights in his life, and the mistakes he had made, he actually felt…proud.
If one knew just where he had come from, each and every thing he had achieved would shock them to their core. The system had been instrumental in helping him achieve what he wanted, but Daneel also spotted that just having the system would have meant nothing if he wasn"t the person who he had been.
The unconscious fear of going back to the state he had been in his former life had been pretty important in letting him walk forward with his head held high, and even though Daneel hadn"t known this at the time, it became clear now, and it made him understand just how important one"s past was in relation to what they would do in the future.
If he had led a privileged and normal life on Earth, he might never have pushed himself that much, and he might even have been contented with gaining some wealth and growing old on Angaria, not caring about anything else except his happiness and that of his family.
And this…gave him the final clue.
Now sure of his answer, Daneel joyfully went through the rest of his life.
One thing that did stand out quite strongly was just how pathetic he had been in almost all casual interactions with the opposite s.e.x.
Well, on that front, Daneel had already changed, but he still vowed to never be as indecisive and unsure as that person who had seemed like a 10-year old, rather than the King that he was supposed to be.
As the memories finally reached the present, he found that he had returned to his body, and involuntarily, a smile lit up his face.
This smile…was filled with self-confidence and relief, as he now knew who he was.
The moment the kind old lady had said those words to him, Daneel had felt as if the whole world was open to him, and he had walked out of the orphanage with the zeal to achieve anything and everything that he put his mind to.
And that...was the root of his answer.
"So?", asked the Shapes.h.i.+fter, and Daneel a.s.sembled his thoughts for a bit, before proudly giving the answer.
"My answer, is that I…don"t know."
These words seemed to echo in the room, and for a moment, it looked as if he had failed, and that his fate would be to have his consciousness blown up by the Hero-level consciousness of this G.o.dbeast.
Well, he had allowed himself to be vulnerable by entering that Baptism on his own, so if that happened, he would have no one to blame but himself.
Yet…the smile on Daneel"s face didn"t falter as he knew that it was the right answer, and after a second, Xandar cracked a smile.
"There are too many who hesitate to give that answer, as they think that it can"t possibly be the right one. I need you to elaborate, though."
With a nod, Daneel continued.
"I don"t know, because I want it all. Yes, it was circ.u.mstances that pushed me to set my goals, but I see nothing wrong with that. They shaped me into who I am, and I think that experiencing how it feels to be in the lowest position possible made me decide that if I had a chance, I shouldn"t and wouldn"t waste it. I want it ALL. World Domination, immortality, invincibility…of course, I want these, but I also want to go back to Earth and do a lot of things there. I want to find the peak like the Emperor, and I also want to satiate my curiosity regarding everything in the world, no matter what it may be. In short, my goals will forever keep changing according to what I experience, and although a few might remain constant…they will never define me. No, what does define me, is that I will never set any limits for myself. I want it all, and no matter what I set my mind to, I. Will. Succeed. That is my answer, Shapes.h.i.+fter."
As Daneel said this out loud, he felt something around him...change.
Suddenly, it felt as if he could do anything and everything he wished, and even getting out of here seemed like child"s play. All it would take was a flick of his finger, and Daneel was confident that he would wake up in his original body, back in Angaria.
With just a thought, he changed his appearance into the familiar one from Angaria, and just as he was about to test whether he really could leave, he was interrupted by the clapping sound from the Shapes.h.i.+fter.
"Well done. h.e.l.l, even I am surprised by that answer. However, it is who you are. I doubt I"ve met anyone with as lofty goals as you! But I have a strong suspicion that you will reach them, no matter what they are. You have pa.s.sed the test, and as promised, I have relinquished my power over you. You can leave if you wish, but…didn"t I say that I would do you a favor if I liked your answer? So…would you be interested in finding a place where you can obtain the last of the real blood of us G.o.dbeasts?"