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Chapter Six.
Tessa stared at him, shocked by his confession. Did he really mean it? Did he really want her that much? She found it hard to believe but there he sat, his hand still clutching hers, his eyes so dark and filled with what looked like worry.
Did he regret saying such a thing? It was a rather monumental confession, one she would"ve been hard pressed to reveal if he"d asked yet here he was, saying such magical words that her heart felt ready to take flight and leap straight out of her chest.
Alex squeezed her hand so tight it almost hurt. "Aren"t you going to say something?"
"I-I want you too." She pressed her lips together, fear coursing through her veins as cold as ice. "But we can"t..."
"We can"t what? Spend time together? Be together?"
"You said so yourself." He had. He said it only a few moments ago. It was a difficult situation considering he was her superior. And the fact that Alex wanted her was so surreal she wondered if she might be dreaming. "I can"t be like Bianca. Getting involved with you and then, when we return home and we"re back in the office, we resume our positions as boss and a.s.sistant." He contemplated her, his mouth tightening into a firm line and slowly, sadly, he released his hold on her hand. Withdrawing from her completely, both physically and emotionally, until she felt so very cold and alone.
"You"re right," he said, his voice low, his eyes dim. "We can"t do this. I can"t do it. I"m sorry, Tessa."
"Better you find out now, right? That we didn"t take it any further?" A sob rose in her chest and she swallowed hard, trying her best to hold it in. She turned away from him when the tears filled her eyes and she pushed back her chair, tossing the napkin onto the table beside her plate. "I"ll be right back."
"But what about your dinner?"
"I"ve lost my appet.i.te." She hurried away, gathering her skirts in her hands so she could walk faster. She knew her abrupt departure drew stares but she couldn"t stop. Didn"t want Alex or anyone else witness her complete breakdown.
She entered the bathroom just in time, the sob leaving her as tears flowed down her cheeks. Locking herself into a stall, she leaned against the cold wall and pressed her hands into her face.
Who was she fooling, thinking she could go on with this wretched tour, believing she could return to New York and sit in front of Alex"s office at her desk day in and day out. Pretending she felt nothing for him, pretending he hadn"t just confessed he wanted her. She couldn"t forget any of this, especially his sweet kisses.
They would"ve turned to pa.s.sionate kisses if they"d continued what they started. She"d never know what it really felt like to be in Alex"s arms, to feel his desire and want for her, to know what it would be like to spend the night with him in his bed, wrapped all around him.
A fresh wave of tears started, and she mourned what she"d lost. Grabbing a wad of toilet paper, she wiped her tears away, then blew her nose. She probably looked a wreck. All of the glamour and wonder of the evening, of her beautiful dress, it had all been lost.
She should leave. Take the car to the hotel and send it back so it could pick up Alex. Pack her belongings while he was still out and somehow arrange a
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flight back to New York. Where she could give her notice and find another job, preferably before Alex returned.
It would be foolish to remain with him on this torturous tour. And she knew she wouldn"t be able to deal if she stayed on as his a.s.sistant. It would be much too difficult.
Filled with resolve, she emerged from the toilet stall, ignoring the strange look the woman standing at the sink gave her. Tessa splashed water on her face, afraid to look in the mirror because she knew it was bad. Leaving the bathroom, she spotted the wall of double doors in the distance. Hopefully the car would still be out there or at the very least, she could call a car service. Perhaps the concierge at the hotel could help her.
Tessa wound her way through the tables and kept her head down, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone. Perhaps she was making more of a spectacle of herself by doing so but she didn"t care. She had to get out of here and quick-couldn"t stand the thought of facing Alex again, of hearing his voice, of seeing the rejection written all over his face.
Just as she walked outside she heard his unmistakable voice calling her name, but she ignored him. She ran down the steps, her feet aching from the too-high heels when she felt his fingers clasp around her upper arm like bands of steel.
"Where do you think you"re going?"
She whirled around, glaring up at him. "Let me go."
"Were you just going to leave?" He sounded flabbergasted. She doubted anyone defied the man. And certainly no woman would out and out leave him.
"I can"t stay here with you and pretend. Not after what you said." She tried to jerk out of his grip but he wouldn"t let her, his fingers tightening even further.
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"What I said? What did you expect me to say?" His brows lowered and his expression went from incredulity to fierce in less than five seconds. "I was trying to be a gentleman and do the right thing. I won"t be responsible for hurting you."
"Too late," she flung at him, the venom in her words surprising him so she was able to escape his grip. "You"ve already hurt me more than I care to admit." Turning on her heel, she fled, running down the rest of the stairs as quick as she could. She heard Alex behind her, gaining on her with his every step and she glanced over her shoulder, saw the determined look on his face.
He would catch her. She knew it. It was pointless to run. But she couldn"t stop. She had to get away from him. "Leave me alone," she tossed over her shoulder.
"Tessa, for Christ"s sake, stop running." He was beyond frustrated, she could hear it in his voice but she didn"t care.
She paused at the next intersection, glancing first to her left, then her right.
The road was clear and she darted across the street, Alex"s enraged voice trailing after her. She made it across, saw he was stuck on the other side, glaring at her as the cars sped by between them.
Empty triumph filled her and she continued walking in the direction of the hotel. She had no money, hadn"t thought to bring a purse, leaving herself solely dependent on Alex for the evening. She was such a silly little fool, counting on him for everything. Where had her independent spirit disappeared to? Why did she turn into such a helpless female every time she was with him?
It was insane. He made her insane.
Her shoes pinched, the streets were still crowded with tourists and they kept staring at her. Not every day a woman limped down the sidewalk in a formal white gown.
G.o.d. The man made her do the most ridiculous things.
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She walked on and on, pushing past people who seemed to be taking a leisurely stroll, the hotel nowhere in sight and she wished more than anything that she had her wallet. She could"ve got a cab, wouldn"t have to be walking for what felt like twenty miles, her toes pinched, her feet throbbing. Desperate, she yanked the shoes off, sighing in blissful relief despite having to walk on the dirty sidewalk. It didn"t matter. At least the torture devices were off her feet.
Limping along the sidewalk like a bedraggled urchin, she started to laugh, feeling slightly hysterical. She"d turned into Cinderella. Escaping the ball and her fairytale prince, disappointed and disgusted over the tragic parody her life had turned into. She"d never felt dumber in all her life.
"Tessa." A sleek black car pulled alongside the curb, the back window rolled down to reveal Alex sitting there, glaring at her. "Get in the car." Oh, she was tempted. "No." The car kept pace with her as she continued to walk. Or limp.
"Tessa." He sounded as if he was talking to a small child. "Stop acting ridiculous and get in the d.a.m.n car."
She stopped and wagged her finger at him. "Don"t you dare curse at me, Alexander Worth. You just can"t boss me around and expect me to do whatever you say."
"So you prefer I let you wander the streets all alone and without any sort of identification or money, not even a cell phone, while you walk in the wrong direction in search of the hotel? What sort of jerk do you think I am?" Her shoulders sagged and she hung her head. She"d been walking in the wrong direction all this time? It was a wonder Alex even found her. "I thought the hotel was this way," she admitted feebly.
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"It"s not." He paused and she glanced up, saw that he watched her, his eyes filled with exasperation. She was behaving like a complete idiot, and they both knew it. "Get in the car."
She stiffened at his command, about to turn and go in the opposite direction.
She could find the hotel. Eventually. She didn"t need him to get around this stupid city.
"Please, Tessa." He opened the door and climbed out of the car, coming to stop before her with just a few strides. The man had the longest legs she"d ever seen. She still couldn"t believe he hadn"t caught up with her earlier. "Come with me. I"m worried about you."
It was the please that did it. His usual bossy ways had fled, leaving before her a man asking for her agreement. With a short nod she complied, following him to the car where he held the door open for her so she could climb in.
He got in after her, slamming the door so hard she jumped. Wiggling her toes, she was thankful for the ability to rest but she knew she was in for it. He was about to chastise, to bl.u.s.ter, tell her how ridiculous her behavior was. Not that she needed to hear any of it. She already knew she was a complete twit. No wonder he turned her away earlier.
"Are you all right?" he asked quietly.
She nodded, dropped the dreaded yet beautiful shoes on the floor and clasped her hands together, resting them in her lap. "I"m fine."
"Your feet?" When she glanced up at him, he shrugged. "You were limping."
"It"s the shoes." She pointed toward the floor where they lay. "They hurt."
"Do you need someone to look at your feet? A doctor perhaps?" Tessa scoffed and turned away from him. "No, thank you. Really, I"m fine." She hated that he was acting so concerned. She"d rather he still be angry with her. When he was nice, she forgot her anger and frustration. Wished instead that
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she could throw herself into his arms and forget everything, d.a.m.n the consequences and give in to what she really wanted.
Him.
"If you feel you should return to New York tomorrow, I understand," he said softly. Had he become a mind reader? "I can arrange for the jet to fly you back first thing."
She remained quiet, her mind awhirl with too many thoughts. It was best she leave, she knew this and so did Alex.
But did she really want to go?
"I didn"t mean to make you uncomfortable over what happened tonight," he continued, his voice so low she barely heard him. "It was wrong, expecting you to go along with such a far-fetched scheme. h.e.l.l, you could sue me for s.e.xual hara.s.sment if you wanted and I couldn"t deny it. What I did was deplorable." He was beating himself up and it pained her to witness it. Misery was etched all over his handsome face and he wouldn"t look her in the eyes. "I"m not angry at you."
Alex turned to face her. "You should be. You should be furious."
"But I"m not. I played a part in this too."
They stared at each other, the silence stretching between them, growing more distant from each other. She didn"t know what else to say, wished it could"ve somehow ended differently but what was done, was done.
"A willing part?" he finally asked, startling her.
"What?"
"Did you play a willing part in this?"
Her entire body went warm at the smoldering look in his eyes. "Yes," she whispered, at the exact time he reached for her and hauled her into his arms.
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He"d tugged her so close she landed in his lap, his hand resting on the outer curve of her thigh. Even through the layers of her skirt his hand burned, hot and big and branding her completely. She placed her hands on his chest, his heart like a thundering drum beneath her palm. Slowly she lifted her head, her gaze meeting his, just before he closed in and settled his mouth on hers.
She gave in easily, one hand sliding around the back of his neck, her fingers stroking his soft hair. Their lips clung, parted, clung again, longer and longer, his mouth urging her lips apart until she opened completely for him and he slid his tongue inside.
Tingles spread all over her body at his gentle invasion, shocked by the sensations his tongue tangling with hers brought forth. A little moan escaped her and she nudged closer, excitement coursing through her veins when he slid his hand beneath the fabric of her gown and touched her bare skin.
He caressed her thigh with the tips of his fingers, so gentle she could almost believe he hadn"t touched her at all. Their kisses grew hotter, more carnal and she broke away from him first, desperate to catch her breath.
"I told myself I shouldn"t do this and yet here I am. Mauling you in the back of a car," he murmured against her neck, kissing her there.