"Holy c.r.a.p," Ava said, taking in the scene.
Agitated, I lifted the car handle a couple of times. "Can we just go?"
"Sure," she said and unlocked the doors. We both got in the car and the tears I held back trickled down my face. I didn"t want to cry yet. Not where he could see me.
"Drive," I begged. "Please."
Ava cranked the car and gave me a sympathetic glance. "Oh, honey."
"Don"t. He"s being a jerk and an a.s.s and let"s just go." I kept my eyes forward as we pa.s.sed the still-squabbling boys.
"He looks like c.r.a.p, you know," she tried. When I didn"t respond, she turned up the AC full blast and the cool air dried the sticky tears off my face.
"The worst part," I said when we neared my house, "is it"s like I don"t know him at all."
"Don"t say that, Jane," she said, parking the car by the front of my house. "If it means anything, I think he still cares about you."
I grabbed the book and my bag and opened the car door. "It doesn"t mean enough," I told her and shut the door.
"What"s that?"
I looked up from the page long enough to see my aunt at the door. Jeannie stood with one hand against the wall in a bright orange summer dress that fell so long the hem grazed the floor. The exuberant color didn"t hide the weariness on her face.
"Just a book I found." I showed her the t.i.tle and noticed her eyebrow lift in interest.
"Shadow Bound?"
"Ever heard of that before?"
She crossed the room and sat in my desk chair, her sandals slapping softly with each step. "I have. From my mother, of course. Shadow or shade is another word for a type of ghost. Mythology says people see the "shades" out of the corner of their eye. Vague, shadowy shapes."
"There"s nothing vague or shadowy about the ghosts I see."
"No. Which is what makes you extraordinary. You communicate with the ghosts on a whole different level, like my mom. It"s like me and the auras. Many people get a "feeling" from others, but I actually can see the spirit. So, Shadow Bound? What does it say?"
"According to this, the shadows of people an essence, I suppose are connected back to this world even though they are dead." I flipped through the pages. "That would be what normal people see or feel when they think they"ve seen a ghost. Connor? He falls somewhere in between. He can see and communicate with the ghosts, but there is a line neither of them can cross. Me? I get the whole creepy moment, not just the visual but the fact they can interact with me and touch me. I"m bound to the spirit world."
"Extraordinary," my aunt said.
"Extraordinarily scary. It seems like actually being shadow bound is super rare, more than just seeing ghosts," I sighed. I picked up the book and read aloud, "It says here that when a person is bound to the shadows, protections need to be set up because only the shadows that are fighting pa.s.sing over can touch you."
"Why protection?" she asked.
"Because they want to form permanent attachments or something. I don"t really understand it. But I guess like Evan? He stuck around for a while. I think it could have been indefinite."
Jeannie leaned over my shoulder. "What type of protections."
I handed her the book. "That"s where it all gets a little mystical and stuff. Charms, spells. Different herbs. It sounds like witchcraft."
"Is that so bad?" Jeannie asked.
I nodded and laughed. "Yeah, I know we"ve got this family thing going on but I"m not ready to go down the path to witchcraft yet. I just want to know how to keep me and Connor safe. I don"t mind helping these spirits or shadows find their way back, but the rest? No thanks."
She stood and handed me the book. "I agree that I prefer the peaceful method. So far you"ve done a really great job helping these people. But you"ve said yourself, Charlotte is dangerous."
"I don"t even know where you would find half of this stuff," I said, taking the book back and closing it with a slam. The book was making me feel panicky. It dove into a deeper level of this ghost business than I was willing to subscribe to at the moment. Surely, Charlotte could be convinced to move on like the rest.
Jeannie walked to the door. "I"ll look into it, but you"re right. So much of the information in that book feels like dark energy. I don"t like it either. My mother would probably disagree, but she spent many years on the edge of the darkness. She may know better than both of us." She glanced at her watch. "I need to go over there now. She"s been having some problems."
This was news to me, but I hadn"t been the most observant lately. "What"s going on?"
"My mother is tired and has lived a long life. There is no shame in letting go."
I picked the book up off the bed and opened it again. Feeling horrible about my aunt and more confused than ever. "Let me know if you need anything," I said.
She smiled. "I will. And Jane, knowing all your options is a good idea. Read the book. You never know what you may learn."
"YOU HAVE A piece of tree in your hair," I said, reaching over and plucking the twig out of Ava"s thick black hair. The tiny branch snagged and I yanked harder than I intended to get it out.
"Ouch!"
"Sorrrrry," I said with exaggeration. "It"s your own fault for parking your car next to a giant tree-bush thing."
At the next stoplight, Ava checked her hair in the rearview mirror and flattened out the part I pulled loose.
"It wasn"t so dangerous in the daylight. And stop frowning," she said. "You"ve spent the last couple of weeks moping around. We"re 17, it"s summer, my parents are both out of town and we"re going to a party."
"In a warehouse. Downtown. When we end up murdered in some back alley, I"m still blaming this entire thing on you."
"You can"t blame me. I"ll be dead."
"Ugh, you"ll probably haunt me forever, too." I snorted and she giggled. It was nice to have someone in on the joke. "Plus, don"t pretend this is all about fun."
"Stalking and fun together. It"s better to approach Sarah Mae this way and not just show up at her house, don"t you think?
"I think this is crazy any way you look at it."
"Keep an eye out for Fifth Street." She hunched down to see the signs through the window.
"We just pa.s.sed Fourteenth and the numbers are going down."
The city lights were bright as we slowly drove down the streets looking for our destination. Ava found out Sarah Mae planned on going to the party from her Twitter account. We both felt like following her on Facebook would look suspicious, but trolling her public account on Twitter was pretty easy. When we realized it was the same party Michael mentioned the other day, and that Christian knew one of the bands playing, we decided to go. Our plan involved going to the party, searching for Sarah Mae and then acting like we were just here to hang out with Ava"s boyfriend. Perfect excuse. I felt uncomfortable going into a party where I didn"t really know anyone, but Ava was right, I needed to get out of this funk.
"Turn here," I said when we came upon our intersection.
After a minute or two, we found the cl.u.s.ter of cars identifying a party nearby. Ava pulled the SUV into a spot on the street.
"I hope the car is safe here," I said. I started to say something else when I realized I sounded scarily like my mother and clamped my mouth shut. Like Ava said, I needed, no had, to get out of the house and have some fun.
We hopped out of the car and into the sticky, humid night. I smoothed the front of my sundress and adjusted the straps on my shoulders.
"I love that dress," Ava said, rounding the corner of the car.
"Thanks. My aunt brought it for me in New York."
"Your aunt is so cool."
I smiled. "She really is. Crazy sometimes, but very awesome." When she gave it to me, Jeannie spent 20 minutes explaining how the colors in the fabric balanced my aura. I stopped listening when she said the blue counteracted the orange and made me a more s.e.xual being. s.e.x was the last thing on my mind, for once.
Ava and I found the line for the party easily. We fell in with a large group of kids walking toward the huge brick and steel warehouse. The loud music from inside spilled into the street and when we reached the door, I dug around in the tiny purse I had slung over my shoulder for the $5 admission fee. A burly, older guy waited to take our money.
"How are you two tonight?" he said, eyeing us.
Ava raised an eyebrow. "Fantastic. You?"
"Better since you two showed up."
I tried to stifle a laugh at his cheesiness but failed. Unfortunately, unaware that I was laughing at him and not with him, he grinned wide. When he stamped my hand his touch lingered.
"Have fun," he said, winking before we slipped inside. "Bar"s in the back."
I giggled, running into the building, holding onto Ava"s hand.
"He"s cute."
"In a steroid-taking, Hulkish kind of way," I said, rolling my eyes. "What time is Christian coming?"
"Not until later."
The warehouse vibrated with music and kids dancing. I followed Ava through the crowd, pushing to the front so we could see the band better. I had to admit, they were pretty good. The guys strutted around the stage in that "I"m in a band" kind of way trying to look cool. My eyes landed on the ba.s.sist. He pushed his floppy, sweaty hair over his forehead and I caught a glimpse of his face. He was hot but then again, weren"t they all?
Ava pointed at him and smiled. She thought so, too, of course, but she already had her own guitarist. Everything about this kid reeked of the opposite of Connor. Small, all smiles and energy. I bet he carried minimal baggage and a less complicated record. I tried not to look at the muscles in his forearms. Jeez.
"That"s Christian"s friend," Ava shouted over the music. I narrowed my eyes at her. Did she really plan a set up? She didn"t say anything about it earlier. I shook my head in reaction.
"What? He"s cute, don"t you think?"
I rolled my eyes and turned away. I hoped that if I ignored her she would get the hint and drop it. Instead, I listened to the band. The music shifted, turning moody and hypnotic. The swaying crowed made it seem even more so. I found myself happily lost in the moment, moving my body to the beat that vibrated off the metal ceilings of the old warehouse. Ava danced next to me, arms floating through the air. She looked coordinated and hot when she danced. There was no way I looked like that. I"m pretty sure the word spaz described my moves on the dance floor.
"Drink?" I mouthed to her after a couple songs. She nodded and we pushed through the crowd toward the makeshift bar. I paid the bartender five bucks for two bottles of water. "I"m sweating like a pig," I said, handing the bottle to her.
"Fun though, right?"
"Yes, thanks for making me come out."
"Have you seen her?" she asked. I took a quick glance around. I had forgotten to look for her.
"Not yet."
Ava jerked her thumb over her shoulder toward the back of the warehouse. "Christian should be here soon. I told him we would wait for him by the back door. There"s a courtyard of some kind out there."
I nodded and followed her to the wide freight doors that led to an old loading dock outside. Just as many people milled around out there as inside the building. The warehouse was cooled only by huge, loud fans situated around the room that only helped so much, so the fresh air felt nice. Ava sat on the edge of the platform, and I did the same.
"Have you had a chance to read the book yet?" she asked.
"I"ve had nothing else to do."
"What do you think? Is it any use?"
"I don"t know. It"s interesting, I guess. There are parts in it about the way we are connected. From one side to the other."
"What about how your ghosts can touch you?"
"Yeah, that"s mentioned," I fought a shudder. "I"m what you call Shadow Bound."
"Like the book name?"
I nodded. "If the information is accurate I"m part of a weird line of ghost channelers, or whatever. Not only do I get the lost and directionless spirits, I also get the disgruntled ones."
"Why you? Some kind of loophole?"
"I have no idea."
She took another swig of her water and said, "Does it give you instructions about getting rid of these suckers? The bad ones?"
"A little bit, but honestly they all sound hokey and like witchcraft or something. Herbs and wards against evil spirits. I need something that gets rid of her permanently before she does me or anyone else harm."
"And by anyone you mean Connor."
I made a face. "I don"t want him to get hurt."
"There"s Christian," Ava said, pointing across the back lot. Her face lit up and I saw him push through the crowd at the door, waving when he spotted us. To my surprise, the ba.s.sist from the band trailed behind him.
"Ava..." I warned.
She smiled but said nothing. Christian walked up and laid a hand on Ava"s knee and kissed her cheek.
"This is Louis."
From the corner of my eye, it was easy to tell Louis looked better up close than from the stage. His light brown hair, adorable dimples and nerdy hipster gla.s.ses made him seem tame, but the dark green eyes behind them gave off a warm, compelling light.
"Hi, Louis, I"m Ava and this," she nudged my shoulder with her own, "is Jane."
I smiled and waved. This situation felt more and more like a set up. An unspoken one though, since Ava and Christian enthusiastically began talking to Louis about the band, making sure I knew how amazing he was on ba.s.s. I gathered Christian sometimes played with them.
"Christian, will you come with me to find the bathroom?" Ava asked, jumping down from the platform.