"This business does."
"Does it? the business of caring for other people?--Last summer Dr. Maryland read a terrible text about the "tears of the oppressed, and they had no comforter." It haunted me for a while. But I could do nothing. No,--one must have more right of way than I have--yet."
"I do not mean the business simply of caring for other people.
I mean the whole course of action, beginning from those first words you read."
"You know," she said quietly, "I have never tried."
"Will you study the lesson I have set you?"
"The one you have been learning?"
"Yes. The one contained in these verses you have read. Shall I do harm if I mark this book?"
"No."--The word came quick, under breath.
He turned to the different places where she had been reading, and carefully marked the pa.s.sages; then sought out and likewise marked several others. "Will you study the lesson out?" he asked as he was busy with the last marking.
"I will try--I think," she answered slowly. "As well as I know how."
"Do not fancy," he said, smiling as he shut the book, "that the care of the needy, in any shape, is religion; nor think that He who loves us will take _anything_ as a subst.i.tute for our whole-hearted love to him. If we give him that, he will let us know in what way we may shew it."
She made no answer except by another swift look. This was Chaldee to her! He let the silence last a little while.
"Now I have asked you so many questions," he said, "I should like it if you would ask me a few."
"What about?"
"All subjects are open to you!"
"How did you contrive to make the bay "stand"?"
The flash of Rollo"s eye came first.
"How do you know I did?" he said laughing. "But that is no answer. Let me see. I believe, first I made him know that he must mind me; and secondly, I persuaded him into loving me.
All that remained, was to let him understand that I wanted him to be immovable when I was not on his back."
"O, but!--" said Hazel hastily,--the sentence ending in crimson cheeks, and the shyest veil of reserve dropped over her face.
"I might question here," said Rollo in an amused tone, and eyeing her inquisitively; "but I have done it so often,--I leave the ground to you. What next?"
"What next" seemed to have flown away.
"Does Collingwood engross all the thoughts that go back to Chickaree?"
A sidelong glance of the brown eyes was all that Mr. Rollo got by that venture.
How is Trudchen?" she asked gravely.
"Flourishing. Asks after you whenever she gets a chance."
"Mrs. Boerresen of course is well, as she has had you to look after?"
"Gyda is happy. It is a comfort to her to have to make fladbrod for two."
"It must be a comfort to you to eat it!--How is poor Mr.
Morton? I felt for him when I heard you had turned his world upside down."
"What did you feel for him?" said Rollo quite innocently.
"You have asked all your questions. I think it would be proper now," said Wych Hazel, folding her hands and controlling the curling lips, "that you should go on and tell me all there is to be told, and save me the trouble of asking any more."
"I do not wish to save you the trouble."
"It is good practice occasionally to do what you do not wish.
Instructive. And full of suggestion."
"Suggestion of what?"
"Try, and you will know. I doubt if you ever did try," said Wych Hazel.
"I tried it last night and yesterday morning, when I was turned away from your door with the announcement that you were out."
"But you did not leave your name!" said Hazel, looking up.
"I found it "suggestive" too," Rollo went on. "I do not know whether you would like me to tell you all the things which it suggested."
"How is everybody else at home?" said Hazel, changing her ground. "I heard Miss May had been sick."
The answer tarried, for Mr. Falkirk came in, and perhaps Rollo forgot it, or knew that Wych Hazel had; for it was never given. He entered into talk with Mr. Falkirk; and did his part well through the rest of the evening. Then, Mr. Falkirk expressing the surmise, it was hardly put in the form of a hope, that they would see him to breakfast or dinner, Rollo averred that he was going immediately home. He had done his work in town, and could not tarry. No remark from the lady of the house met that. Indeed she had been sitting in the silentest of moods, letting the gentlemen talk; having enough to think of and observe. For absence does change, even an intimate friend, and both lifts and drops a veil. Old characteristics stand out with new clearness; old graces of mind or manner strike one afresh; but the old familiarity which once in a sort took possession of all this, is now withdrawn a little,--we stand off and look. And so, secretly, modestly, shyly, Wych Hazel studied her young guardian that night. But when he had risen to go, the faintest little touch from one of her finger tips drew him a step aside.
"I said I would study that," she began. "But it seems to me you explained it all as you went along. What is there left to study?"
The grave penetrating eyes she met and had to meet once, gave all the needed force to his answer.--"_Your part_, Miss Hazel."
He stood looking at her a minute; and then he went away.
If when Rollo had entered he room where she was, that evening, the instant feeling had been that he must come often: perhaps the after feeling was that he could not stand much of this doubtful and neutral intercourse. For he did as he had promised; left her, practically, to Mr. Falkirk, and came not to town again during all the rest of that winter.
CHAPTER XLII.
STUDY.
It seemed to Hazel, that in these days there was no end to the thinking she had to do; and if Mr. Rollo had only known, she remarked to herself, he need not have been at the trouble to point out new lines of study. The mere sight of him for two hours had put her head in a tangle that it would take her a month to clear away. Some of the questions indeed had started up under the conversation of Mrs. Coles; but with them now came others, all wrapped round and twisted in; and instead of dreamily watching the fire in her twilight musings, she began now to spend them with her cheek on her book, or her head dropped on her hands, an impatient little sigh now and then bearing witness to the depth of the difficulties in which she was plunged. What was foremost among the subjects of her musings?--perhaps this strange new talk of Mr. Rollo"s, with the whole new world of work and interest and consecration which had opened before him. It made her sober,--it brought back the old lonely feelings which of late (since she knew herself to belong to somebody "in idea") had somewhat pa.s.sed out of sight. He was beginning a new, glad life; growing wiser and better than she; making himself a blessing, whereas she was only a care. What could she do for him any more?--would he even want her any more? given up now to these new ways of which she knew nothing, and in which somebody else might suit him better--say Primrose? But at that, Miss Wych started up and stirred the fire energetically, and then came back to her musings.
What did she care, anyhow? She pa.s.sed that question, turned it round, and took it up in another shape. How would she bear to be all her life under orders? in "closer" guardianship?--and there the word "sweeter" flashed in, confusingly. But that was not business. Did she--that is, could she--like him well enough to like to give up her own way? Answer, a prompt negative.
Never!--Not if she liked him ten times more than--but it is awkward dealing with unknown quant.i.ties: Hazel sheered off.