They finally broke. "I don"t think I lost." he said, with the remaining five sixteenths of the smile.
"That"s your opinion." Kim"s expression of mock severity made her look almost cute.
Dug turned to Chlorine. "So you had better be persuaded, or she might kiss you."
Chlorine"s conviction that she liked these Mundanes was growing. The fact was, Dug was a handsome man, while Kim was an ordinary woman, in appearance, but they both had personality. Chlorine remembered her early life as a distinctly plain and less than ordinary girl, before Nimby had enhanced her into beauty, character, and intelligence. She related to Kim. who clearly had made something of herself. "I"m persuaded. Let"s go meet me "
"Pick a name," Kim said.
Chlorine pondered. Who would be obscure enough to be free? She remembered another poisoner, a disreputable female vaguely related to the mermaids, but ugly and gross. No one would choose to be her "Ella," she said. "Salmon Ella."
Dug laughed. "Salmonella! That will surely do. She must he a real pain in the-"
"Stomach." Kim said quickly with mock primness.
"Close enough." he agreed, patting her on the bottom. They went back in, this time just Chlorine, with the three others watching her screen, and Kim giving verbal instructions. They made their way to the Grid and the Mesh, and to the Xanth Xone. There Chlorine registered as S. Ella, and looked up Chlorine. She was not there at the moment, but at least she had learned how to locate her. "You can try another time." Kim said. "The Mesh is quite flexible. Or you can leave a message for her."
Chlorine realized belatedly that she had no idea what to say to the Xone Chlorine, so it was just as well that she hadn"t made direct contact. "I"ll try again," she said. She would have to think of something suitable to explain her interest in this character.
"But there are plenty others to chat with," Dug said as they exited "We can go to a GOO."
"A what?"
He laughed. "That stands for Grid Operating Oubliette. GOO for short. It"s an off-Mesh mime game where players from all over the world interact. They make up their own characters and partic.i.p.ate in an established setting, where they make friends or alliances or enemies. They gossip about each other, or even fall in love and get married, in the game. Sometimes they have fights to the death. They stay at inns, eat good or bad meals, fight monsters-it"s actually a real world for these folk, maybe as real as Mundania, and better for them. Some addicts live almost entirely in their GOOs. playing day and night without sleep. But a good GOO polices itself, so there are no vulgar laughing donkeys to hara.s.s you."
"Is that a pun?" Chlorine asked.
"Of course it is," Kim said. "Har-a.s.s, as in donkey.
"It sounded more like "her a.s.s.""
"That, too," Kim agreed. "Men think it"s funny to slip in references to female donkeys."
"My point being that there are no female donkeys getting GOOed," Dug said.
"That sounds nice," Chlorine agreed, deciding not to explore the matter of gooed lady a.s.ses. "How do we get there?"
"I"ll take you." Dug took over the keyboard. "I"ll use Fishnet on the Tux account, first I have to lumber on by giving my operator name: DM5555. Then my pa.s.sword 5>4%"3V2; 1^- Then when I get to the prompt line. I type the address: Iishnet2.aa.vvhatname oo 7734. That brings me to the computer where the GOO is, in this case Origin."
The screen blinked, and then a scene came on. with a forest, field, and castle. "And here we are," he said. "In this realm, I"m a dwarf ogre, smarter than the average ogre but not as strong. It"s amazing how some women go for ogres "
"Just remcmber," Kim said warningly, "You don"t know what my mergirl character is doing with men who like wet bare bosoms, while you"re making time with feebleminded nymphs."
"Anyway," Dug continued, "this could seem familiar, because some players overlap Xanth. I mean, an ogre or mermaid can be anywhere in fantasy. Maybe some are refugees from Xanth, for all we know."
"I"ll learn in here." Chlorine agreed.
"Now there are still other realms that might relate. The GOO is a pretty extensive realm."
"No, I think this is enough for now," Chlorine decided. "Let"s focus on what Nimby wants."
Nimby wanted to explore more of the physical Mundania. So the rest of the day was spent in setting up for their "vacation" travel. They learned about the uses and denominations of money and little cards called "credit." They learned about maps, and motels, and places to eat. Tomorrow they would really start exploring Mundania.
At one point Chlorine remembered something. "Didn"t you have a dog, Kim, who accompanied you to Xanth when you were on the Roc jury?"
"Yes. Bubbles. I found her floating in a bubble in Xanth the first time I was there, in the Companions game, and adopted her. But she was old, and continued to age in Mundania. and I knew she would die. So I did what I had to do, and made an arrangement for her to return to Xanth, to be with Anathe Ma "
"Anathema? Did I mishear?"
Kim laughed "You fell for one of the Xanthly puns. Her name is Anathe, and she is a very nice, motherly person, though horrendously ugly. She liked Bubbles, and Bubbles liked her, so it just seemed better. Bubbles is much less likely to die in Xanth, because of the magic, as long as she has the sense to stay clear of dragons. I cried for three days, but of course I was away at college much of the time then, so it was better for the dog. I"m sure she"s happy now." But for the moment Kim looked ready to cry again.
"Maybe some day, if the business gets established well enough. there"ll be company again in the house." Dug said.
"Maybe," Kim agreed, but she did not seem to be much cheered.
Chlorine was baffled. What did this mean, and why the sadness?
Nimby touched her hand, and then she understood. They wanted to have a child, but somehow their signals to the stork had been ignored, and there was a growing fear that something was wrong in that respect. Ironically, there was no question about Pia"s fertility, but Pia did not want children. So Dug and Kim pretended that it was simply their business with the software business that held them back.
As they completed the preparations. Dug was looking increasingly thoughtful. That suggested to Chlorine that he had something on his mind. "You have thoughts?" she inquired.
"Well, I don"t want to pry into what"s not my business, yet as a Companion I do need to know what"s going on, so as the better to antic.i.p.ate and avoid problems. Especially as we travel out of my most familiar haunts."
Nimby glanced at him. That meant that this matter should be followed up.
"What is your concern?" Chlorine asked Dug.
"The real reason for your visit to Mundania."
"But we told you," Chlorine said. "Nimby just wanted to see what Mundania was like, and of course the Demon Earth wouldn"t let him."
Dug shook his head. "The Demons aren"t like that. They have no human curiosity, and they hardly care about territory. Their entire existence is wrapped up in contests with each other. Nimby may be learning a lot about human foibles, but he wouldn"t take a risk like this without good reason."
Chlorine realized that he had a point. There must be more here than Nimby had let on. She looked at him.
Nimby reached across and touched her hand. Then she had it straight "You are correct there is more Nimby did not want to burden you with details of Demon interaction, but since you ask, he will. Yes, there is another Demon bet, and that is that Nimby can"t enter Mundania and remain three days without being discovered and caught. He has one year to make the attempt or lose by default. If he is discovered, there will be complications. Since the Demon Earth is watching the normal connections between their two regions. Nimby used a special one, the O-Xone. He is also using a Mundane body, further masking his presence."
"But does it count, if he"s not here in physical person?" Kim asked.
"Oh, yes. Because he is really here. Just without his body and most of his magic That makes him almost impossible to trace. So he suffers the privations of lack of magic, for the sake of succeeding in his endeavor. And he does want to explore Mundania, because he has indeed been learning human traits like curiosity. They don"t come naturally to him, but he is studying them, and this experience helps."
Dug nodded. "That makes sense to me. What would reveal his presence here?"
"If he did something crazy, that no Mundane would do, that would attract attention. But if the Demon Earth happens to look at us-well, they can read our minds, so he would know. That"s chance."
"And the Demon Earth is looking," Kim said.
"Yes. Probably routine sweeps, because he"s not sure Nimby is here at this time. But he"s alert. So we might make no mistakes, and still get caught. Actually the odds of success are crafted to be about 50-50, because that"s the way the demons like it: even odds, so there is always a strong element of uncertainly."
"They are true gamblers." Dug said. "The risks mean nothing; all they want is to win the wager " Nimby nodded.
"Well, we"ll do our best," Kim said. "But you know, I have a question too, if it"s all right. I don"t want to be offensive, and it has nothing to do with the success of this mission, so-"
"So ask," Chlorine said. "We won"t answer if we don"t want to."
"Well, I understand that the two of you now wander around Xanth, doing spot favors for people who don"t know Nimby"s true nature. Given that Nimby is who he is, why should he bother?"
Chlorine smiled. "I can answer that without consulting with him. Nimby is trying to learn about all the things he never paid attention to before, and he feels that mixing with ordinary folk is the best way. They think we"re just Damsel & Dragon, and that"s fine, because then they don"t come asking special favors. By studying the problems of folk with little or no power, we learn a lot about human feeling and hope and grief. So that if Nimby ever wishes to go among people alone, without me as a b.u.t.ter, he will be able to do so without making mistakes."
"But aren"t you worried that-" Kim hesitated, evidently thinking better of the question.
"That he will dump me as no longer useful?" Chlorine said for her "No, I"m not worried, because even if my a.s.sociation with Nimby ends tomorrow, I will be far better off for the wonderful experience and love he has given me in this time. And of course it would be simple for him to erase all memory of him from my mind, and leave me with some ordinary man who would lake good care of me. I would never know the difference." She glanced obliquely at Nimby, teasing him. "Maybe that one we met last month. Rusty, with the talent of making metal rust down to any length. Maybe the stork would deliver babies with rust colored hair."
"As long as Rusty"s not gay," Kim said.
"Oh, I would expect him to have a really gay time," Chlorine said, inhaling. On Pia"s body, this had good effect.
Kim pursed her lips "Maybe we have run afoul of a linguistic anomaly"
"But why should the man be sad instead of gay? I"m not exactly minced spleen."
Dug interceded. "In current slang, the term gay now refers to a s.e.xual preference for one"s own gender."
"And a person who prefers the opposite gender is called straight," Kim said.
"Oh." That did set Chlorine back a bit. But then she had the answer: "But I would put him in a straight jacket. That would stop the gaiety."
Dug and Kim exchanged a glance. "That should do it," Dug agreed.
"Or maybe I could marry that man Simon." Chlorine continued, with another slice of a glance at Nimby. "The one who said things, and then they happened. He could say I"d be happy."
The three others glanced at Nimby, but he still didn"t react. So Chlorine tried one more. "Maybe that sixteen year old Mundane boy we saw in the region of madness What was his name-Brandon Risner. He seemed nice." She addressed Dug and Kim. "Weird things are found at the fringes of the region of Madness. We were doing a reconnaissance, looking for a lailgator-they have fierce teeth in their tails-and we boarded a scholar ship. Bach pa.s.senger had to submit a written essay, which meant that only educated folk could use it. but it was fun."
"I"d like to sail on that ship." Dug said.
"Yes, you would hae liked some of the folk on it. There was Elena Human from the North Village. Her talent was Literature. She could summon any character from a book, as long as she was holding that book. There was also Polly Esther from the West Stockade, whose talent was to make long-lasting clothing. Some of it was quite sheer when she wore it."
"He"d like that ship too well," Kim muttered.
"We crossed a lake ol Pollux oil, which smelled even worse than Castor oil. Then we docked and rode a defective donkey." Chlorine paused, searching her memory. "No, it was an a.s.s fault, very hard and black. Until we came to a toad lily, which was really all together. That"s where Brandon was. He was learning to play chess from a chess nut tree."
"Wait, I think I missed one," Kim said. "I got asphalt, and chestnut. but what"s toad lily?"
"You are toad lily stupid about puns," Dug told her.
Had it been Xanth, a mortified light bulb would have flashed over her head. "Oh, you bad boy!" she exclaimed, punching him on the shoulder. "Toad lily bad."
Nimby yawned. Chlorine decided she had had enough fun with him. Puns bored him. "I hope you never do dump me," she said, kissing his ear. "I like donkey-headed dragons."
Dug stood "I think it"s time for us to go home."
"You"re just smug because you"re one up on me," Kim said. But she hardly seemed loath, as they departed for the night.
Chapter 7: MOUNTAINS.
"I"m nervous, having them down there so long." Breanna said. "Suppose they get in trouble, and we don"t know it?"
"Then we would have to go in after them," Edsel said. "Maybe you"ll be able to see what I can"t, and I"ll be able to deflect hostile magic so we can rescue them." But he was nervous himself. Justin and Pia had gone down the steps into the ground, and though they had reported back safely once, now time was extending without their reappearance.
"I guess I fuss too much," she said. "It"s just that I love him so, and we haven"t been together long, physically I mean, and I"m so afraid I"ll lose him to a dragon or something before I ever really have him." She glanced sidelong at him. "Do you act like that with Pia?"
He shook his head. "No, not really. But of course we"ve been married for four years The bloom is off."
"Oh, yes, you said that before. But it seems weird to me. How can you lose love?" She shifted her position, sitting cross-legged, and he couldn"t help wondering how far up under her skirt he would have been able to see if there had been more light. She was a cute kid, and nicely formed.
But he needed to address her question. "Well, I haven"t really lost mine for her. but I"m afraid she"s lost hers for me I"m hoping she will recover it. I guess I feel I have lost her, and I"m afraid I won"t recover her. Is that close enough to your sentiment?"
"No. I know I won"t lose Justin"s love. Just his body, maybe, if something bad happens I know it"s foolish, but it still bothers me. But I hope it works out for you." Then she thought of something else. "Do you notice other women?"
How much honesty was appropriate? Well, this was Xanth, the land of htcralness. Might as well be candid. "Yes. I notice you. That doesn"t mean-"
"Me? What"s to notice about me?"
"You"re an attractive girl, the age Pia was when I started with her. And you would be freaking me out with your legs if it weren"t dark."
She glanced down. "Really? Without even showing my panties?" She seemed pleased.
"For sure." he said, smiling. Then, to change the subject, he addressed the boat "Para, how are you doing?"
The boat slapped a webbed loot against the ground in acknowledgment.
"I wish you could talk." he said. "I"d like to know your history."
"You could play Nineteen Questions," Breanna said. "Tell him to tap once for yes. two for no, three for uncertainty."
"Say, yes," he agreed. "Okay, Para: would you like to tell us your personal history?"
A foot slapped once.
"Were you born or made? Oops, wrong phrasing. Were you born?"
"Wrong question," Breanna said. "Folk don"t get born in Xanth, that"s a clumsy, messy Mundanian custom. They get delivered by the stork."