They came to a section where the tree trunks resembled the spines of books, complete with print. Two, close together, formed a gateway. In front of it was an armored knight on a steed galloping in circles.
Para halted. "What"s that?" Pia asked.
"That"s Sir Q Lation," Breanna answered. "Hi, Q! Feeling smart today?"
"Very well rounded, thank you," the knight replied courteously. "Do you wish me to show you around?"
"No, thank you," Breanna said "We"re going straight through, this time."
"As you wish." The knight guided his armored mount to the side, and Para waddled on through the gate.
Just inside was an ogre stamping his big hairy feet. They left little marks on the pile of cards beneath. "That"s the date stamper." Breanna said. "Hi, can I have a date?"
"For sure, paramour," the ogre responded with something like a smile. He tossed her a card with a date on it. If there had been any doubt before, now it was clear that Breanna had been here before.
Then there was a solid man sitting at a desk shaped like a huge tome. "Hi, d.i.c.k," Breanna said. But the man stared stolidly ahead, not deigning to answer. "That"s d.i.c.k Shunary," Breanna explained "He won"t speak a word to anyone, though he knows every word in the book." She did not seem annoyed.
After a moment, Pia got it: shun In dictionary. A verbal pun.
"Let"s see. there"s a map in here somewhere, if we can find it." Breanna said. Para wove along different paths, searching. They came to a glade with a pattern of gra.s.s and sand, like a miniature golf course. "At last."
"At last what?" Pia asked.
"We finally found the map." She indicated the pattern, and Pia realized that it was indeed a map, with the sand marking paths.
"Atlas," Edsel murmured "Atlas at last."
Oh. Pia could have done without that.
They followed a path to a number of warriors doing a dance of victory. "That"s the Conquer Dance," Breanna said.
"Concordance," Edsel murmured. He had more of a mind for this nonsense.
Beyond the dance was a dead tree. A feline snoozed in its bare branches. "Catalog." Edsel said.
"Can"t we just get on out of here?" Pia inquired, pained.
"It does get rather wearing." Justin agreed. "Magic is the main thing that distinguishes Xanth. but surely its second attribute is puns "
They pa.s.sed a tree with dampish small fruit. "Dew date." Breanna said happily.
Then there was a dolorous researcher poring over a several volume set. "Sigh Clopedia." Breanna said.
"I do love her." Justin said. "Even here."
Breanna faced him. "Shut up or I"ll use the card file on you."
"Card file?" Pia asked, unable to stop herself.
"It trims the edges of the King, Queen. Jack, and so on." the girl explained with a straight face. "And there are some book jackets." Pia looked. Sure enough, there were shivering books with warm jackets.
They pa.s.sed a moving picture of young women dancing and removing items of apparel. "Para!" Breanna said severely "I told you not to go by the film strip."
"That"s quite all right." Edsel said, watching avidly.
The boat veered, taking them by a high building. "What"s this doing here in the library forest?" Pia asked.
"It"s a story collection."
"You walked into that one." Edsel said.
They peered up to the thirteenth floor, where spirits flitted in and out of the windows. "Don"t tell me. let me guess." Edsel said. "That"s a ghost story."
"Enough!" Pia cried. "Get me out of here!"
"She really means it," Edsel warned Breanna.
"Yes. she"s series," the girl agreed.
If Pia had had a pillow, she would have whammed them with it. Fortunately the exit loomed. There was only one insubstantial plant barring their way. "Through that mist tree," Breanna told the boat.
Edsel opened his mouth to say something smart, but caught Pia"s dagger of a glance.
"We found our way out because we have the indecks." Breanna said, patting the interior of the boat.
Index. The female dog was still doing it.
But now they were out of the library and back in normal magic jungle.
"Do you know. I once met a lady who gave nothing but opposites." Justin remarked innocently. "Her name was Ami Nym. I believe she would have felt at home at that library."
"But we don"t really need the library," Breanna said. "We can see the paper view." She held up a roll of paper.
Pia knew she was going to hate herself, but she had to ask. "Paper view?"
"You pay for each time you see it."
"That docs it!" Pia screamed. She jumped out of the boat, landed off-balance, and whirled into the soft side of a cow -like creature. The thing made a soft, sickly "Mooo!"
"I - I"m sorry." she said, recovering her balance. "I did not see you." The cow looked so sad that all her anger dissipated.
The boat halted, and she climbed back in. "Moo-sick soothes the savage beast." Edsel murmured.
Pia tried to summon back her rage, but was worn out.
"Actually, it is the savage breast that is soothed." Justin said.
"She"s got two of those," Edsel agreed smugly.
"And they are most elegant," an elephantine creature remarked, leaning over the boat to stare at her blouse.
"Pay no attention to the sycophant." Breanna said "It flatters every-body with equal insincerity."
"We are approaching Mount Etamin," Justin said.
Pia was relieved - until she saw the dragon circling the peak. In a moment the dragon spied them, and swooped down.
Breanna seemed unalarmed. She stood carefully in the boat "Hi, Draco!" she called. "It"s us - Justin and Breanna. And friends. Coming to see Nada Naga."
The dragon waggled with wings and veered off. Pia was not entirely rea.s.sured. "What would have happened if we had not been friends""
"He"d have toasted us." Breanna said, shrugging. "But I wouldn"t have let us come here if I hadn"t known it was safe."
"Draco is an honorable dragon." Justin said. "He has a very nice collection of gemstones in his nest. I believe he is the only dragon to possess some black beryls."
Para ran up to a tunnel and into the mountain. Soon it opened into a lighted cave. A huge snake loomed, forming the head of a human being. "Who are you, and what is your business here?"
"Breanna of the Black Wave, Justin Tree, Edsel and Pia of Mundania, and Para Boat." Breanna said. "We need to see Princess Nada Naga about her daughter. DeMonica."
The naga guard rolled his eves. "Has that demon child gotten into more mischief?"
"Not exactly. She has something we need. A locket "
"Wait here." The human face disappeared, and the serpent slithered through a hole in the wall.
Soon two other snakes returned The big one formed a lovely human head with a small golden crown "h.e.l.lo, Breanna," the princess said.
"h.e.l.lo, Nada." Breanna said "Edsel and Pia are Mundanes, here on an exchange program. They need to borrow the magic locket Ted and Monica found."
The small snake formed into DeMonica. "It got boring. We left it in the Fanta Sea."
Oh. no, Pia thought. They were going to have to search for it.
"Can you show us where?"
"Sure. I think."
Breanna hesitated. "Is it safe for Mundanes in the Fanta Sea?"
"It is it they are careful," the Princess said "Why don"t you take Monica along, and bring her back here when you find it?"
"Thank you." Breanna said. "Hop in, Monica."
The child performed a huge hop and landed in Pia"s lap. "Hi, Pia," she said cutely, and kissed her on the cheek.
Pia hugged her. This sort of thing was getting easier with such cute children. "Hi, Monica. How did you get so sweet?"
"I gave my sour to Ted. For today."
The others laughed. The boat turned around and set off. Monica remained on Pia"s lap. Pia loved it; there was just something about the child. Pia had never wanted to have children, but after meeting this one, and Ivy"s three, she was changing her mind.
"Now just what is this Fanta Sea?" Edsel asked. "I mean, I know that wild dreams appear there, but what kind of dreams are they?"
"All kinds." Breanna said uneasily. "The truth is, I don"t much like the Fanta Sea. But if that"s where we have to go, then that"s where we have to go."
"Good dreams or bad dreams?" Pia asked. If Breanna didn"t like that region, chances were that Pia wouldn"t like it either.
"All kinds," Justin said. "It is a place where actual dreams escape from the realm of the gourd. Normally they are disciplined, organized by the gourd crews and carried by the night mares to sleepers who deserve them. But at the sea they are undisciplined, and can do what they want. Even the good dreams may not be welcome, when they have no outside controls."
"Good dreams unwelcome?" Edsel asked. "I"d love to he swamped by good dreams."
But both Justin and Breanna looked dubious. Only the child agreed "Yes. Fun."
"I"d like some clarification," Pia said nervously. Xanth was a land where face values could be very literal, hut still needed to be handled with caution. Why should a child enjoy something that adults were wary of?
"It is somewhat awkward to explain," Justin said.
"We"re here," Monica said. "Go straight ahead, quack-foot."
Pia looked ahead. It seemed to be an ordinary lake, with brush around the edges and reeds growing in patches. Para ran into it and started swimming.
Breanna looked to the side. There on the bank was a cemetery memorial stone. She shuddered.
"That"s a dream?" Pia asked.
"For sure. That"s serious."
"It"s a grave stone."
The girl nodded. Then Pia smelled a pun. Grave stone-serious rock. "Are you pulling my leg?"
"Not this time. Honest. That stone reminds me of my dead mom."
"Your mother"s dead?"
"No. But I used to dream she was, and I knew because I saw that stone. It scares me to pieces."
Pia saw that the stone was moving along beside the boat, paralleling their progress. "Can you get rid of it?"
"I used to be able to wake up. But now it"s out here in my waking state."
"There is a way," Justin said. "It is possible to make the dream spooks cancel each other out. What is necessary is to lead one into another, so that they collide. This requires some maneuvering, but is feasible."
"What happens if one catches you first?" Edsel asked.
"Dreams can"t cancel people, because then there would be nothing to see them." Justin said "They are mere phantasms."
"But they sure can scare you." Breanna said. "That"s what they do. That"s their magic. They make you feel whatever they want you to feel, and you can"t escape it."