Volume 14, Prelude 3
I finished speaking, and she sighed.
“I see…” Her voiced trailed off.
The night grew, and the wind began to blow with a frigid chill. I listened to the susurrating leaves and found myself holding my arms. The sensation that pierced my skin wasn’t just because of the wind, but because of the brief moment of silence.
I directed my gaze to her, wondering what she would say, and our suddenly eyes met. She smiled and slid over on the bench closer to me. Then, she gently asked, “What did you talk about?”
Her round eyes impishly shook and looked up at me from below. Her gaze was gentle, visible with curiosity, but in reality, an intellectual spark was embedded within its depths. Her eyes misted over, as if to hide her shrewd nature. It was this kindness that I loved.
Confronted with those eyes, I wasn’t confident I could ever try to pretend like nothing happened. I slowly formed my words, words without any semblance of falsehood, just like I did with him.
“We talked about how fun this year was… all the things the three of us did together this entire year were all things new to me and things I didn’t know about… I had so much fun.”
My rambled on vaguely, but she nodded her head to every word I uttered with closed eyes.
“Me, too. It’s kind of weird, it’s almost like this is the end…” She lifted her head and smiled. However, her words were dressed with a feeling of lamentation, contrary to her bashful giggle. Unknowingly, I lowered my eyes.
“Yes, because this is the end.”
“Huh?”
Her reaction looked surprised, but her expression said otherwise. But I thought that was to be expected. We were always conscious of the end ever since the beginning of the winter.
“Our contest is over.”
Like turning off the lights, her expression darkened.
“I wish you wouldn’t just try end it like that, because I don’t feel the same… at all…”
“I’m sorry… I really am. But, I want to put an end to this.”
The words came stumbling out of my mouth, and I was unable to keep them from being blunt. I wish I could’ve worded it better, but I couldn’t lie. I couldn’t tell her in a way without telling the truth, because it was too difficult. Instead, I strengthened the grip on her hand.
“That’s why, at the very least, I want to fulfill your request. Beacuse your wish is also my wish.”
“I didn’t ask for that.” She returned my grip. While it lacked strength, her warmth made up for it. She looked up with shivering brows, and locked her gaze onto mine. “I want everything, everything to be like it’s always been.”
Those were the very same words she told us on that snowy day, the very words that set me into motion. Ever since I heard those words, and ever since he rejected those words, I had always been moving…
Her wish was something the three of us shared and dreamed of. Those days were just so unbelievably comfortable that the thought would force itself into my head. But that’s why I understood, that granting her entire wish would be too difficult.
“I don’t think I can give you exactly what you want, but I think I can at least give you something close.” My voice hushed, I prayed that this was how things should be, that this was the way things should end. “But he’ll be able to grant your entire wish without fail.”
She was the one and only person whom I could call a friend, and that’s why, I wanted her wish to come true. I kept such a self-centered sentiment to myself in shame and looked at her in silence.
“I’m not so sure…” She tilted her head with a forced laugh and rubbed the bun of her hair. “I get the feeling he’ll grant it in such an indirect way, it’s kind of hard to ask him.”
A chuckle escaped my lips. Oh, how right she was. Based on our past experiences, it was just so easy to imagine happening. To this day, he would always find a way to realize someone’s request in a way we wouldn’t have expected, or in a way we wouldn’t have wanted. That made me recall a short story I had read long ago.
“I understand. He’s like the Monkey’s Paw.”
“Monkey? Why?”
She blinked her eyes with her head tilted. That appeared so adorable that my face broke into a smile.
“Nevermind… I’m just talking about how twisted people aren’t honest.”
“I get that. He’s always doing things in such a weird way when he could just be them normally…” She sighed in exhaustion.
I smiled. “Agreed. He needs to consider what it’s like to be in our shoes.”
“I know.”
We both laughed. But a sudden pain p.r.i.c.ked my chest. I no longer needed to deal with his ridiculous way of doing things anymore. When that reality came down on me, my laughing voice tapered off. She gave me a concerned look after I abruptly fell silent, asking me what could be wrong.
I shook my head. “Do you want to go somewhere for spring break?”
I forced a smile to the best of my ability and responded with something completely unrelated. I knew my smile was unnatural, poor, and even awkward. But starting tomorrow, I had to get better at it.
I truly didn’t know what kind of face I needed to wear. I wasn’t sure if I should be making eye contact, either. I didn’t have the least bit of confidence I could talk naturally, nor did I have any idea of what to talk about. And lastly, I couldn’t even remember how I used to conduct myself.
But even so.
I was sure, one day, I would be able to smile better, and more properly, than I do now.