Yandai Xie Jie No. 10

Act 03: Unavoidable Permanent Residence Visitor

I"m Handsome: This afternoon, I searched the web for writing material when I accidentally

came across this erotic comic! I"m mad!

Love 123: Ha ha ha, is it good?

I"m Handsome: A lot of censored places…

Love 123: =.= so you"re resenting this

I"m Handsome: I"m not resenting, even without images I could"ve guessed what was going on

Love 123: …

I"m Handsome: I"m just resenting that the royalty for such comic could easily be earned,

this type used less image and ink than any regular comic book!

Love 123: …

I"m Handsome: What"re you doing?

Love 123: Watching the pet shop

I"m Handsome: Am I bothering you?

Love 123: I"m doing online transaction with some customers.

I"m Handsome: Ha ha ha, then it"s not a bother? It"s still talking on w.a.n.g w.a.n.g*!

Love 123: …

I"m Handsome: Oh! It"s 3 P.M. I have to go to the gym now, cannot chat with you much,

you won"t get angry, right?

Love 123: Hurry and go…
[T/N: w.a.n.g w.a.n.g – instant messenger used by TaoBao users, mainly used for communicating between seller and buyer]

At 3:30pm, Liang Ze arrived at the gym, like always there was only a few people, and as usual, the friendly fitness trainer walked over to him. Liang Ze pretended that he did not notice him, yet the trainer would still greet him.

About this trainer, there really was nothing bad about him in general, he is very enthusiastic, very professional, and always had a smile on his face, importantly, he is very patient and very experienced, it"s just that… The reason Liang Ze disliked him was because that trainer always touched him intentionally and unintentionally. At first, it was just the arms, the legs, and the abs… Those areas were a must for the training purpose; however, over the time it became a bit strange, the trainer intentionally and unintentionally would aim at between Liang Ze"s legs and touch his crotch =.=

"You"re here on time today as well," the trainer gently laughed.

"Ah! Ha ha…"

"Still keeping the same plan as usual?"

"This…uh, I want to swim today."

"To discontinue with the planned schedule is not a good idea, you won"t be able to achieve your desired goal."

"I…"

"You must adhere to it, don"t give up because of difficulty, didn"t you say that you want to gain back your abs?"

"… Ok."

After saying that, Liang Ze had to follow the trainer to the equipment room.

The equipment room was surprisingly quiet today, usually there would be one or two people, but today there was not one soul. Liang Ze walked around the room, feeling that this seemed like it was… a set up.

"First, let"s do some arm workouts."

"Oh, Ok…" Liang Ze nodded his head.

The first twenty minutes went by with nothing out of ordinary, Liang Ze gradually let go of his defense, but when he lied down for the leg exercise, the trainer deliberately came closer and pressed on his leg, "Don"t be lazy, ok?"

"Ah, ha ha ha… Ok!"

The unwanted hands moved along his legs, and seeing that those hands were about to get in between his legs, Liang Ze immediately sprung up.

"What happen?" the trainer"s face became sullen.

"Eh, ah, it"s like this… I suddenly remember that I forgot to make a phone call."

"Wait after we"re done here to do it."

"No, no. It"s very important." Liang Ze immediately fled to the door of the room once he said that.

"In here, you must follow my rule."

"It, it– I"ll make it quick, just five minutes." Liang Ze opened the door and bolted out.

He went straight to the changing room, opened the locker while his mind was still in a mess. What should I do? This man is obviously not normal, this… this is insane! Yet, he did not want to offend the trainer, he would still see the man every time he comes here*, not to mention he spent 5000 on this gym"s membership!
[T/N: Original words – if you cannot see it when you look-up, you can see it when you bow down – Chinese idiom which means "to meet regularly or frequently"]

Liang Ze did not know what to do, when suddenly, his phone rang, meaning that a text message has arrived.

Liang Ze fished out his phone to take a look, it was from Hang Hang.

【Good News! Small Leave and her husband have been nurturing their love, I"ve just put them in the same cage, you can stop by later to take a look!】

Liang Ze immediately dialed Hang Hang"s number without a second thought.

Hang Hang had just put down his phone right after sending out that SMS* message, it began to ring loudly; he took a look and it turned out to be Liang Ze.
[T/N: SMS message – text message]

"h.e.l.lo? Aren’t you in the gym right now?"

"f.u.c.k, Handsome*, you have to help me!"
[T/N: Handsome bro – but I decided to go with Handsome from now on, or you guys want me to go with Shuaige?]

"Ah? Help you what?"

"It is… this problem…"

"Oh, you want to ask about Ikkyu and Long Long? They"re still the same, you can"t really rush these things."

"No, No! d.a.m.n it, how do I say it!"

"You…Then what"s wrong?"

"I, I"m not working out…"

"Ah, I"m quite curious why you call me."

"Well…" Liang Ze leaned against the locker door and coughed, "it"s about my personal trainer…he"s…"

"Awfully slacking off?"

"No."

"Patronize other guest and ignore you?"

"No."

"Being harsh?" Hang Hang had guessed all that he could think of.

"Also not!"

"Then what?"

"He always touches me one way or another!"

"Ha ha ha… are you ticklish?"

"f.u.c.k f.u.c.k f.u.c.k! It"s not the ticklish problem, but he always aims at groping my p.e.n.i.s!"

"…"

"Uh, I"m sorry, I"m being vulgar; but G.o.d, I really can"t stand it!"

"This… This is s.e.xual hara.s.sment."

"Is something wrong with his brain? I"m not a girl, going between my legs to touch my b.a.l.l.s or what!"

"You might as well just tell him you"re not interested, and tell him to respect you, remember you must be firm in your speech!"

"But… but, the important thing is…"

"Hm?"

"I don"t dare to offend him…"

"Ha?"

"I"ll have to face him every time I come here, plus I don"t want to waste my membership for such matter…"
{Translator Input: For gym memberships, you pay for the whole month; if you cancel your membership before the month is over, the gym will not refund you, so you will lose that money for sure.}

"Ah… I see."

"That"s why I don"t know what to do, hey, Handsome, help me think of a way, ah!"

"This…" Hang Hang thought for a bit and quickly came up with a solution, "How about you tell him that you"re top?"

"What? Top? What does that mean?"

"It"ll work if you say it."

"No, you have to explain it to me; if I don"t understand it, how can I say for it to work?"

"Alright! Hey, I can"t talk with you much, Miss Zhu is here with her "Superman"."

"Oh, say h.e.l.lo to Miss Zhu for me!"

"…" Hang Hang"s face changed color. This person… really…

For the past two weeks, everyday at exactly six o"clock, Liang Ze would come to the pet shop with a poised att.i.tude, which made many patrons asking: Business must have been good lately for Xiao Hang, you even hired a new employee, he must be so relaxed =.=

The moment Hang Hang hung up the call, an evil thought suddenly came to him — Better let that macho man teach him a lesson or two!

Liang Ze put away his phone, locked his locker, and walked out from the changing room.

I"m Top. Is it some kind of spell or what?

When he returned to the equipment room, the personal trainer was still there waiting, and like before, there was no one in the room.

The two of them started again, but when the trainer began to be cunning, Liang Ze"s face became serious and said, "I"m Top."

The trainer was taken aback for a moment, his resolute face immediately changed to a gentle demeanor one, "Honey, I already knew that." Then, he threw himself onto Liang Ze.

"Ah f.u.c.k!" Liang Ze completely collapsed =.=

***

It was not even 5:30pm when Liang Ze barged into the pet shop at No. 10 of Yan Dai Xie Street, the wind chime rang violently at the door, Hang Hang looked up and was about to scold whoever it was for being rude, but he was met with Liang Ze"s angry face.

"Ah…today"s dinner delivery is not here yet…" Hang Hang was a bit surprised.

"Handsome! You"re such a bully!" Liang Ze walked straight to the cashier, hands slapped a "bang" onto the counter right in front of Hang Hang, "You deliberately wanted to harm me! I almost choked to death in disgust!"

"Ah? What?" Hang Hang was stunned for a moment.

"Once I said that I"m top, that trainer immediately threw himself at me, kissed me, and touched my d.i.c.k; then said something like honey I already knew it, honey I will make you feel good, honey…"

Within a speed of light, Hang Hang quickly covered Liang Ze"s mouth, one hand trying to press Liang Ze"s head down, on the other hand bowing and smiling at an elder customer Ma Nai Nai* and said, "Nai Nai*, have a look, once you know what you want please let Hai Hong know."
[T/N: Nai Nai – grandmother; either to call your own grandmother; or to address someone that is as old as your grandmother in a form of respect]

"Mph, mph…Hang Hang! What are you doing!"

Liang Ze with his mouth being covered was dragged straight out of the pet shop, leaving before Hang Hang could even greeted Ma Nai Nai and shouted out to Hai Hong, telling her to come out to watch the shop.

Liang Ze was being dragged onto the second floor, Hang Hang opened the door with the key and then conveniently shoved Liang Ze inside.

"Handsome! What are you doing!" Liang Ze entered the room, glaring intensely at Hang Hang.

"Nonsense! You were being so loud in my store, you think I can still do business after this?"

"f.u.c.k! In all honesty, Shuaige*, you almost made me die in a pit, do you know how disgusting it was? Traces of his saliva or something like that is still on my neck!"
[T/N: Shuaige – Handsome bro – Handsome; I"ll go with Shuaige from now on since it"s easier ^^]

Hang Hang looked at Liang Ze, trying to hold in his laughter, then tried to relax a bit, but he really could not hold it as he imagined a macho man holding a bottle of "Xian de Meiri C" (Fresh Daily Vitamin C)* throwing his writhing body at Liang Ze, he…that scene is really funny!

"Shuaige, are you ok? What"s with your face? Do you have an upset stomach?" Liang Ze noticed Hang Hang"s face twisting and asked in concern.

"Ha ha ha ha ha…" Hang Hang could not hold it anymore, and bursted out into a laughter.

"Oh my G.o.d, why do you laugh so hard? Are you sure nothing is wrong with you? Today I"ve encountered with too many shocking events, don"t keep on surprising me."

Hang Hang kept on laughing, while Liang Ze felt like pa.s.sing out.

This was the first time Liang Ze stepped his foot in the second floor; before, he did notice there is a second floor, but did not know what it is for; today he had known its purpose, and it looked like a human actually lives up here. Geez, it is very organized, has a loving mood, especially when looking out the window, one would see the whole panoramic view of Houhai Lake.

He was standing in a very big living room, with a thick layer of carpet, a wide sofa set, and everything was furnished in Western-style design; this place must be more than forty square meters wide, and it has a very s.p.a.cious and bright environment. There is a door at the end of the living room, it must be leading to the bedroom.

"Shuaige, you should stop laughing, is this your place? It doesn"t look bad." Liang Ze had completely forgotten about the perverted trainer, swiftly walked to the window and took a look outside.

One must know that his place has never been so tidy, even though he only goes to work every other day, with the increasing amount of useless collection he keeps bringing back home, basically even fairies have to give up.

Hang Hang tried to even out his breathing, trying his best not to laugh anymore, even though he knew Liang Ze had a misfortune, he had to admit that the other man also brought a lot of laughters into his boring life.

"Eh, it must be very comfortable staying here."

"Just so-so." Hang Hang finally calmed down his breathing, and took a c.o.ke from the fridge and handed it to Liang Ze, "To steady your nerves."

Liang Ze now remembered the reason for him to storm into here, "f.u.c.k, it was because of you, you said it’s some kind of spell! But the f.u.c.king b.a.s.t.a.r.d went haywire!"

Hang Hang wanted to laugh, but tried to suppress it, "I didn"t expect it."

"You… Shuaige, you can"t be that irresponsible! The one being hara.s.sed is not you, you think if you dare to let that guy kiss you, leaving a trail of saliva on you!"

"I"m not that interested." Hang Hang threw his hands up.

"Nonsense! I"m not too! That guy was also being weird, I suspect whether he has head injury or not!"

"Drink the c.o.ke, the c.o.ke, quiet down for a bit, I"m still doing business."

"What does "I"m a Top" mean?"

"Uh…"

"I"m asking you, so speak!"

Hang Hang was pondering how to answer this, he needed to be specific…

"Hey hey, Shuaige, why are you in a daze?"

"Ah, actually this is an Italian greeting," even though it was not a good deed to lie to this idiot, Hang Hang still decided to deceive him based on goodwill; he really could not tell Liang Ze the real meaning of it, having this idiot running away from him was not a problem; to close down his business and to have a customer leaving were the real major problems, "By saying that phrase, it means that I"m sorry I"m not a perverted, I"m still normal."

"Ah? Then why he became even more crazier?" Liang Ze looked at Hang Hang.

"Uh… maybe his perverseness is too severe?"

"Hm… that"s very likely," Liang Ze nodded his head. "Anyway, I will have to give up on working out with equipment, and start on yoga tomorrow, the female worker there recommended it to me, saying that it"s very effective in getting rid of belly fat!"

"So be it." Hang Hang nodded his head and looked at Liang Ze, suddenly an image appeared in front of him: among the pet.i.te women exercising on yoga, there stands a tall man…

Extremely bizarre.

Liang Ze began to calm down and followed Hang Hang down to the pet shop, ate dinner, and played with the chinchillas for a while; basically speaking, he was now back to his normal self. There would be a lot of shoppers in the midsummer evening, Hang Hang felt quite enthusiastic to have Liang Ze help around the shop. Liang Ze always greeted everyone with a smiling face, and would earnestly chat up a conversation with the customers. Hang Hang suddenly thought, it would be nice to have Liang Ze coming here everyday to help out. But… Of course, that was impossible. When Small Leave and Ikkyu are done with the breeding, he would stop coming here. He felt somewhat disappointed.

At nine o"clock, less customers came to the shop, Hai Hong went to clean up the preparation room, so she could leave early once everything was done; meanwhile, Liang Ze was chatting with Hang Hang while  playing with the chinchillas, and then he suddenly stopped talking.

Hang Hang was surprised, "Why did you stop talking?"

"I suddenly remembered that I haven"t showed you my effort in the past half month, look, see my abs!"

He suddenly lifted up his T-shirt, "What do you think? Not bad eh!"

"You…"

"How"s that? You can"t see it? Let me take it off," Once he finished that sentence, Liang Ze immediately took off his T-shirt. Hang Hang almost got swooned. It was so happened that the wind chime sounded, Hang Hang"s childhood friend, Qi Ji, came in with his golden retriever "Meng Nan", "Uh…"

Qi Ji became sluggish, Hang Hang also turned sluggish, "Uh."

Liang Ze turned around and saw a man coming in with a dog, and he felt he was being rude.

"What did you come here for?" Hang Hang greeted.

"Ah… I… was just about to go out for dinner, thinking I might stop by to let Meng Nan have a bath, I will come pick Meng Nan up at a later time…"

Even though Qi Ji was talking to Hang Hang, his eyes were staring at Liang Ze, this person…

Liang Ze noticed that something felt wrong, this customer must think he is a pervert, to offend Hang Hang"s customers is a big No No! His head was spinning as he quickly put on the T-shirt and said, "Mister, I"m a top! Really, Shuaige can testify it for me!"

Basing off on Hang Hang"s earlier explanation, Liang Ze believed that what he just said means — I"m not a pervert…

Qi Ji held onto his Meng Nan and felt completely dizzy, his face twisted in agony, "Xiao Hang… you…"

Hang Hang"s hand clenched into a fist, if he was not clenching onto them, he was sure that right now his ten fingers would be on Liang Ze"s neck, choking him!

In Heaven and Earth"s conscience! His reputation was being ruined by this idiot! I can testify what? To prove that you"re a top? Then what about me?

You rascal!

Proofread: Chi