"I am a very foolish, fond old man, fourscore and upward, not an hour more or less; and to deal plainly, I fear I am not in my perfect mind."
He stole a look in my direction, as if to gauge my reaction to his impromptu performance. A frown might have stopped him, a word would have crushed him.
Maybe I should have, but I was afraid he"d start talking about Mom again, telling me things I didn"t want to know. So I watched instead, transfixed.
"Methinks I should know you..." He rested his hand briefly on the bot"s head.
"... and know this stranger." He fumbled at the controls and the exolegs carried him across the room toward me. As he drew nearer, he seemed to sluff off the years.
"Yet I am mainly ignorant what place this is; and all the skill I have remembers not these garments, nor I know not where I did lodge last night." It was Peter Fancy who stopped before me; his face a mere kiss away from mine. "Do not laugh at me; for, as I am a man, I think this lady to be my child. Cordelia."
He was staring right at me, into me, knifing through make-believe indifference to the wound I"d nursed all these years, the one that had never healed. He seemed to expect a reply, only I didn"t have the line. A tiny, sad squeaky voice within me was whimpering, You left me and you got exactly what you deserve. But my throat tightened and choked it off.
The hot cried, "And so I am! I am!"
But she had distracted him. I could see confusion begin to deflate him. "Be your tears wet? Yes, faith. I pray... weep not. If you have poison for me, I will drink it. I know you do not love me..."
He stopped and his brow wrinkled. "It"s something about the sisters," he muttered.
"Yes," said the bot, ""... for your sisters have done me wrong...""
"Don"t feed me the f.u.c.king lines!" he shouted at her. "I"m Peter Fancy, G.o.d d.a.m.n it!"
After she calmed him down, we had lunch. She let him make the peanut b.u.t.ter and banana sandwiches while she heated up some Campbell"s tomato and rice soup, which she poured from a can made of actual metal. The sandwiches were lumpy because he had hacked the bananas into chunks the size of walnuts. She tried to get him to tell me about the daylilies blooming in the backyard, and the old Boston Garden, and the time he and Mom had had breakfast with Bobby Kennedy. She asked whether he wanted TV dinner or pot pie for supper. He refused all her conversational gambits. He only ate half a bowl of soup.
He pushed back from the table and announced that it was her nap time. The bot put up a perfunctory fuss, although it was clear that it was my father who was tired out. However, the act seemed to perk him up. Another role for his resume: the doting father. "I"ll tell you what," he said. "We"ll play your game, sweetheart. But just once-otherwise you"ll be cranky tonight."The two of them perched on the edge of the bot"s bed next to Big Bird and the Sleepums. My father started to sing and the bot immediately joined in.
"The itsy bitsy spider went up fhe water spout."
Their gestures were almost mirror images, except that his ruined hands actually looked like spiders as they climbed into the air.
"Down came the rain, and washed the spider out."
The bot beamed at him as if he were the only person in the world.
"Out came the sun, and dried up all the rain.
"And the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again."
When his arms were once again raised over his head, she giggled and hugged him.
He let them fall around her, returning her embrace. "That"s a good girl," he said.
"That"s my Jenny."
The look on his face told me that I had been wrong: this was no act. It was as real to him as it was to me. I had tried hard not to, but I still remembered how the two of us always used to play together, Daddy and Jenny, Jen and Dad.
Waiting for Mommy to come home.
He kissed her and she snuggled under the blankets. I felt my eyes stinging.
"But if you do the play," she said, "when will you be back?"
"What play?"
"That one you were telling me. The king and his daughters."
"There"s no such play, Jenny." He sifted her black curls through his hands. "I"ll never leave you, don"t worry now. Never again." He rose unsteadily and caught himself on the chest of drawers.
"Nighty noodle," said the bot.
"Pleasant dreams, sweetheart," said my father. "I love you."
"I love you too."
I expected him to say something to me, but he didn"t even seem to realize that I was still in the room. He shambled across the playroom, opened the door to his bedroom and went in.
"I"m sorry about that," said the bot, speaking again as an adult.
"Don"t be," I said. I coughed-something in my throat. "It was fine. I was very... touched."
"He"s usually a lot happier. Sometimes he works in the garden." The bot pulled the blankets aside and swung her legs out of the bed. "He likes to vacuum."
"Yes."
"I take good care of him."I nodded and reached for my purse. "I can see that." I had to go. "Is it enough?"
She shrugged. "He"s my daddy."
"I meant the money. Because if it"s not, I"d like to help."
"Thank you. He"d appreciate that."
The front door opened for me, but I paused before stepping out into Strawberry Fields. "What about... after?"
"When he dies? My bond terminates. He said he"d leave the house to me. I know you could contest that, but I"ll need to sell in order to pay for my twenty-year maintenance."
"No, no. That"s fine. You deserve it."
She came to the door and looked up at me, little Jen Fancy and the woman she would never become.
"You know, it"s you he loves," she said. "I"m just a stand-in."
"He loves his little girl," I said. "Doesn"t do me any good-I"m forty-seven."
"It could if you let it." She frowned. "I wonder if that"s why Mother did all this.
So you"d find out."
"Or maybe she was just plain sorry." I shook my head. She was a smart woman, my mom. I would"ve liked to have known her.
"So, Ms. Fancy, maybe you can visit us again sometime." The bot grinned and shook my hand. "Daddy"s usually in a good mood after his nap. He sits out front on his beach chair and waits for the ice cream truck. He always buys us some. Our favorite is Yellow Submarine. It"s vanilla with fat b.u.t.terscotch swirls, dipped in white chocolate. I know it sounds kind of odd, but it"s good."
"Yes," I said absently, thinking about all the things Mom had told me about my father. I was hearing them now for the first time. "That might be nice."
Chapter 11 Beauty in the Night by Robert.
Silverberg
Robert Silverberg breaks new ground in the SF short story in 1997. He published two stories in SF Age in this same setting, a near future Earth invaded by superior and powerfully destructive aliens. They will apparently be integrated into a forthcoming Silverberg novel, The Alien Years, to be published in 1998. In an era when alien invasion has been most often reduced to parody or to stupid power fantasies in the movies or on TV, Silverberg restores a good bit of the original power to the Wellsian idea he has updated by clever characterization and technique. It isinteresting to compare this story to Gibson"s-there"s a similar precise and cold observation of detail. Here, though, there is at least implied a sympathy for the human suffering portrayed, along with a very strong evocation of that suffering. How do you fight, why do you fight, when resistance is futile?
ONE: NINE YEARS FROM NOW.
He was a Christmas child, was Khalid-Khalid the Ent.i.ty-Killer, the first to raise his hand against the alien invaders who had conquered Earth in a single day, sweeping aside all resistance as though we were no more than ants to them. Khalid Haleem Burke, that was his name, English on his father"s side, Pakistani on his mother"s, born on Christmas Day amidst his mother"s pain and shame and his family"s grief. Christmas child though he was, nevertheless he was not going to be the new Savior of mankind, however neat a coincidence that might have been. But he would live, though his mother had not, and in the fullness of time he would do his little part, strike his little blow, against the awesome beings who had with such contemptuous ease taken possession of the world into which he had been born.
To be born at Christmastime can be an awkward thing for mother and child, who even at the best of times must contend with the risks inherent in the general overcrowding and understaffing of hospitals at that time of year. But prevailing hospital conditions were not an issue for the mother of the child of uncertain parentage and dim prospects who was about to come into the world in unhappy and disagreeable circ.u.mstances in an unheated upstairs storeroom of a modest Pakistani restaurant grandly named Khan"s Mogul Palace in Salisbury, England, very early in the morning of this third Christmas since the advent of the conquering Ent.i.ties from the stars.
Salisbury is a pleasant little city that lies to the south and west of London and is the princ.i.p.al town of the county of Wiltshire. It is noted particularly for its relatively unspoiled medieval charm, for its graceful and imposing thirteenth-century cathedral, and for the presence, eight miles away, of the celebrated prehistoric megalithic monument.
Which, in the darkness before the dawn of that Christmas Day, was undergoing one of the most remarkable events in its long history; and, despite the earliness (or lateness) of the hour, a goodly number of Salisbury"s inhabitants had turned out to witness the spectacular goings-on.
But not Haleem Khan, the owner of Khan"s Mogul Palace, nor his wife Aissha, both of them asleep in their beds. Neither of them had any interest in the pagan monument that was Stonehenge, let alone the strange thing that was happening to it now. And certainly not Haleem"s daughter Yasmeena Khan, who was seventeen years old and cold and frightened, and who was lying half-naked on the bare floor of the upstairs storeroom of her father"s restaurant, hidden between a huge sack of raw lentils and an even larger sack of flour, writhing in terrible pain as shame and illicit motherhood came sweeping down on her like the avenging sword of angry Allah.She had sinned. She knew that. Her father, her plump, reticent, overworked, mortally weary, and in fact already dying father, had several times in the past year warned her of sin and its consequences, speaking with as much force as she had ever seen him muster, and yet she had chosen to take the risk. Just three times, three different boys, only one time each, all three of them English and white.
Andy. Eddie. Richie.
Names that blazed like bonfires in the neural pathways of her soul.
Her mother-no, not really her mother, her true mother had died when Yasmeena was three; this was Aissha, her father"s second wife, the robust and stolid woman who had raised her, had held the family and the restaurant together all these years-had given her warnings too, but they had been couched in entirely different terms. "You are a woman now, Yasmeena, and a woman is permitted to allow herself some pleasure in life," Aissha had told her. "But you must be careful." Not a word about sin, just taking care not to get into trouble.
Well, Yasmeena had been careful, or thought she had, but evidently not careful enough. Therefore she had failed Aissha. And failed her sad quiet father too, because she had certainly sinned despite all his warnings to remain virtuous, and Allah now would punish her for that. Was punishing her already. Punishing her terribly.
She had been very late discovering she was pregnant. She had not expected to be.
Yasmeena wanted to believe that she was still too young for bearing babies, because her b.r.e.a.s.t.s were so small and her hips were so narrow, almost like a boy"s. And each of those three times when she had done It with a boy-impulsively, furtively, half-reluctantly, once in a musty cellar and once in a ruined omnibus and once right here in this very storeroom-she had taken precautions afterward, diligently swallowing the pills she had secretly bought from the smirking Hindu woman at the shop in Winchester, two tiny green pills in the morning and the big yellow one at night, five days in a row.
The pills were so nauseating that they had to work. But they hadn"t. She should never have trusted pills provided by a Hindu, Yasmeena would tell herself a thousand times over, but by then it was too late.
The first sign had come only about four months before. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s suddenly began to fill out. That had pleased her, at first. She had always been so scrawny; but now it seemed that her body was developing at last. Boys liked b.r.e.a.s.t.s. You could see their eyes quickly flicking down to check out your chest, though they seemed to think you didn"t notice it when they did. All three of her lovers had put their hands into her blouse to feel hers, such as they were; and at least one-Eddie, the second-had actually been disappointed at what he found there. He had said so, just like that: "Is that all?"
But now her b.r.e.a.s.t.s were growing fuller and heavier every week, and they started to ache a little, and the dark nipples began to stand out oddly from the smooth little circles in which they were set. So Yasmeena began to feel fear, and when herbleeding did not come on time, she feared even more. But her bleeding had never come on time. Once last year it had been almost a whole month late, and she an absolute pure virgin then.
Still, there were the b.r.e.a.s.t.s; and then her hips seemed to be getting wider.
Yasmeena said nothing, went about her business, chatted pleasantly with the customers, who liked her because she was slender and pretty and polite, and pretended all was well. Again and again at night her hand would slide down her flat boyish belly, anxiously searching for hidden life lurking beneath the taut skin. She felt nothing.
But something was there, all right, and by early October it was making the faintest of bulges, only a tiny knot pushing upward below her navel, but a little bigger every day. Yasmeena began wearing her blouses untucked, to hide the new fullness of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and the burgeoning rondure of her belly. She opened the seams of her trousers and punched two new holes in her belt. It became harder for her to do her work, to carry the heavy trays of food all evening long and to put in the hours afterward washing the dishes, but she forced herself to be strong. There was no one else to do the job. Her father took the orders and Aissha did the cooking and Yasmeena served the meals and cleaned up after the restaurant closed. Her brother Khalid was gone, killed defending Aissha from a mob of white men during the riots that had broken out after the Ent.i.ties came, and her sister Leila was too small, only five, no use in the restaurant.
No one at home commented on the new way Yasmeena was dressing. Perhaps they thought it was the current fashion. Life was very strange, in these early years of the Conquest.
Her father scarcely glanced at anyone these days; preoccupied with his failing restaurant and his failing health, he went about bowed over, coughing all the time, murmuring prayers endlessly under his breath. He was forty years old and looked sixty. Khan"s Mogul Palace was nearly empty, night after night, even on the weekends. People did not travel any more, now that the Ent.i.ties were here. No rich foreigners came from distant parts of the world to spend the night at Salisbury before going on to visit Stonehenge. The inns and hotels closed; so did most of the restaurants, though a few, like Khan"s, struggled on because their proprietors had no other way of earning a living. But the last thing on Haleem Khan"s mind was his daughter"s changing figure.
As for her stepmother, Yasmeena imagined that she saw her giving her sideways looks now and again, and worried over that. But Aissha said nothing. So there was probably no suspicion. Aissha was not the sort to keep silent, if she suspected something.
The Christmas season drew near. Now Yasmeena"s swollen legs were as heavy as dead logs and her b.r.e.a.s.t.s were hard as boulders and she felt sick all the time. It was not going to be long, now. She could no longer hide from the truth. But she had no plan. If her brother Khalid were here, he would know what to do. Khalid was gone, though. She would simply have to let things happen and trust that Allah, when Hewas through punishing her, would forgive her and be merci-ful.
Christmas Eve, there were four tables of customers. That was a surprise, to be so busy on a night when most English people had dinner at home. Midway through the evening Yasmeena thought she would fall down in the middle of the room and send her tray, laden with chicken biriani and mutton vindaloo and boti kebabs and schooners of lager, spewing across the floor. She steadied herself then; but an hour later she did fall; or, rather, sagged to her knees, in the hallway between the kitchen and the garbage bin where no one could see her. She crouched there, dizzy, sweating, gasping, nauseated, feeling her bowels quaking and strange spasms running down the front of her body and into her thighs; and after a time she rose and continued on with her tray toward the bin.
It will be this very night, she thought. And for the thousandth time that week she ran through the little calculation in her mind: December 24 minus nine months is March 24, therefore it is Richie Burke, the father. At least he was the one who gave me pleasure also.
Andy, he had been the first. Yasmeena couldn"t remember his last name. Pale and freckled and very thin, with a beguiling smile, and on a humid summer night just after her sixteenth birthday when the restaurant was closed because her father was in the hospital for a few days with the beginning of his trouble, Andy invited her dancing and treated her to a couple of pints of brown ale and then, late in the evening, told her of a special party at a friend"s house that he was invited to, only there turned out to be no party, just a shabby stale-smelling cellar room and an old spavined couch, and Andy"s busy hands roaming the front of her blouse and then going between her legs and her trousers coming off and then, quick, quick!, the long hard narrow reddened thing emerging from him and sliding into her, done and done and done in just a couple of moments, a gasp from him and a shudder and his head buried against her cheek and that was that, all over and done with. She had thought it was supposed to hurt, the first time, but she had felt almost nothing at all, neither pain nor anything that might have been delight. The next time Yasmeena saw him in the street Andy grinned and turned crimson and winked at her, but said nothing to her, and they had never exchanged a word since.
Then Eddie Glossop, in the autumn, the one who had found her b.r.e.a.s.t.s insufficient and told her so. Big broad-shouldered Eddie, who worked for the meat merchant and who had an air of great worldliness about him. He was old, almost twenty-five. Yasmeena went with him because she knew there was supposed to be pleasure in it and she had not had it from Andy. But there was none from Eddie either, just a lot of huffing and puffing as he lay sprawled on top of her in the aisle of that burned-out omnibus by the side of the road that went toward Shaftesbury. He was much bigger down there than Andy, and it hurt when he went in, and she was glad that this had not been her first time. But she wished she had not done it at all.
And then Richie Burke, in this very storeroom on an oddly warm night in March, with everyone asleep in the family apartments downstairs at the back of the restaurant. She tiptoeing up the stairs, and Richie clambering up the drainpipe andthrough the window, tall, lithe, graceful Richie who played the guitar so well and sang and told everyone that some day he was going to be a general in the war against the Ent.i.ties and wipe them from the face of the Earth. A wonderful lover, Richie.
Yasmeena kept her blouse on because Eddie had made her uneasy about her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
Richie caressed her and stroked her for what seemed like hours, though she was terrified that they would be discovered and wanted him to get on with it; and when he entered her, it was like an oiled shaft of smooth metal gliding into her, moving so easily, easily, easily, one gentle thrust after another, on and on and on until marvelous palpitations began to happen inside her and then she erupted with pleasure, moaning so loud that Richie had to put his hand over her mouth to keep her from waking everyone up.
That was the time the baby had been made. There could be no doubt of that. All the next day she dreamed of marrying Richie and spending the rest of the nights of her life in his arms. But at the end of that week Richie disappeared from Salisbury-some said he had gone off to join a secret underground army that was going to launch guerrilla warfare against the Ent.i.ties-and no one had heard from him again.
Andy. Eddie. Richie.
And here she was on the floor of the storeroom again, with her trousers off and the shiny swollen hump of her belly sending messages of agony and shame through her body. Her only covering was a threadbare blanket that reeked of spilled cooking oil. Her water had burst about midnight. That was when she had crept up the stairs to wait in terror for the great disaster of her life to finish happening. The contractions were coming closer and closer together, like little earthquakes within her. Now the time had to be two, three, maybe four in the morning. How long would it be?
Another hour? Six? Twelve?
Relent and call Aissha to help her?
No. No. She didn"t dare. Earlier in the night voices had drifted up from the streets to her. The sound of footsteps. That was strange, shouting and running in the street, this late. The Christmas revelry didn"t usually go on through the night like this. It was hard to understand what they were saying; but then out of the confusion there came, with sudden clarity: "The aliens! They"re pulling down Stonehenge, taking it apart!"
"Get your wagon, Charlie, we"ll go and see!"
Pulling down Stonehenge. Strange. Strange. Why would they do that? Yasmeena wondered. But the pain was becoming too great for her to be able to give much thought to Stonehenge mst now, or to the Ent.i.ties who had somehow overthrown the invincible white men in the twinkling of an eye and now ruled the world, or to anything else except what was happening within her, the flames dancing through her brain, the ripplings of her belly, the implacable downward movement of-of- Something.
"Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Universe, the Compa.s.sionate, the Merciful," shemurmured timidly. "There is no G.o.d but Allah, and Mohammed is His prophet."
And again: "Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Universe."