Sean knew the names of the old drugs: Ritalin, Cylert, Dexedrine. Anything that would keep you still and numb. Then came the surgery.
Adele brightened. "You should really try to at least visit Universal for an afternoon, you know. It"s lovely."
"They"re going to move my grandfather to the zero-function ward, I think. If he doesn"t spend more time switched on, they will," Sean said. "I want to get his story before they do it." And if not his stories, the reasons-reasons for who Sean was, who his father was.
"What a nice grandson you are! You know, it seems like no one cares about their grandparents anymore. Old Ross"s grandchildren haven"t visited once in the five years I"ve been here."
Sean gave Adele a ride the next day. She wore the sunhat and a lightweight cotton dress and sandals, and looked frail and quaint.
Sean thought Adele would get off at a different floor, to visit Ethan, but she walked with him across Grampa"s ward.
Grampa was sitting just where he had been the day before. His chin was shaved blue, and he was impeccable. He was methodically slicing and eating a hamburger."Grampa," Sean said.
"h.e.l.lo, Sean," Grampa said. He laid his knife and fork in a precise X on his plate and pushed it aside.
"This is Adele. Her son is in the zero-function ward. She wanted to meet you. Adele, this is my grandfather, Brice Devick."
"Pleased to meet you, Adele," Grampa said, and shook her hand.
"Likewise," she said. "Do you know my Ethan? I"m worried that he doesn"t seem to have any friends here."
"I haven"t met him," Grampa said.
"Well, would you do an old lady a big favor? Go and visit him. Your grandson tells me you"re smart-Ethan is as smart as a whip. You two should have lots to talk about."
"I will," Grampa said.
"I"m sure you two will get on very well. It was a pleasure to meet you. Excuse me, I"m sure Ethan"s wondering where I am."
Sean waited until she was out of earshot, then said, "Her son"s a f.u.c.king vegetable. You"re about 80 percent of the way there. You"re spending so much time switched off, you might as well be dead."
"What do you know about it?" Grampa said, fidgeting.
"I know plenty," Sean said. "Plenty! You spent less than 15 percent of the time switched off until you hit college. Then you switched off for months at a time. You used it for a study aid! I pulled your logfiles, when I was at Dad"s-he"s had them ever since you were declared non compos. You"re a junkie, Grampa. You don"t have the will-power to kick your habit, and it makes my Dad nuts. I never knew you, so it just makes me curious. Let"s talk about the first time you remember switching off."
Grampa snorted. "That"s a stupid question. You don"t remember switching off-that"s the whole point."
Sean rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean. You may not remember switching off, but you"ll remember switching on. Switching on has to be memorable, doesn"t it? Isn"t that the whole point?"
"Fine. I switched on for about twenty minutes in a movie that I snuck out of school to see when I was twelve. It was in French, and it had made a lot of noise because it had a s.e.x scene with a live pig. I saw that scene, and two others- another s.e.x scene and a scene where this woman cuts the pig"s throat. I loved it. All my friends had done the same thing, but by the time the good parts had come around, they were too bored to enjoy them. I just caught the highlight reel."
"How long until you next switched off?"
"I don"t know. A while."
"It was two days. I have the logfile, remember, Grampa? Don"t jerk my chain. You switched off during Friday dinner. Did your parents notice?"
"Of course they noticed! They loved it! For once, I wasn"t kicking the table-leg or arguing with my sisters or stuffing sprouts in my pocket. I cleaned my plate, then sat and waited until everyone else was done, then I did the dishes."
"How"d you like it?"
"I loved it! I hated family dinners! I just got the highlight reel again-dessert! I remember that f.u.c.king bowl of pudding like I was eating it right now. My mother couldn"t cook for s.h.i.t, but she sure opened a mean package of Jello Pudding."
Sean found his mood matching Grampa"s, aggressive and edgy. "How did you and Grandma end up getting married? I can"t imagine that she was hot for a zombie like you."
"Oh, but she was, Sean, she was!" Grampa waggled his eyebrows lasciviously. "Your Grandma didn"t like people much. She knew she had to get married, her folks expected no less, but she mostly wanted to be off on her own, doing her own thing. I"d come home, switch off, clean the place, do any ch.o.r.es she had for me, then go to bed. She loved to have s.e.x with me switched off-it got so that if I accidentally switched on while we were doing it, I"d pretend I was still off, until she was done. It was the perfect arrangement."
"But she divorced your sorry a.s.s after ten years," Sean said."You got a girlfriend, Sean?" Grampa said.
"No," Sean said.
"You ever had a girlfriend?"
"Yes," Sean said, feeling slightly smug. Never ask yes/no question.
"Why"d she leave you?" Grampa asked, his eyes sharp as razors.
"What makes you think she left me?" Sean asked.
"Did she?" Grampa fired back.
"Yes," Sean said, as calmly as he could manage.
"And why did that happen?"
"We were growing in different directions," Sean said, the words sounding prim even to him.
Grampa barked and slapped his palm on the table. The old men and women in the ward swiveled their heads to stare, momentarily distracted, then went back to arguing.
"You"re full of s.h.i.t, kid. What"s that supposed to mean?"
"I was working on my thesis proposal. Lara was working on hers. Neither of us had time for a relationship. It was amicable."
Lara had caught him watching television over her shoulder while she was delivering one of her dreaded Relationship Briefings, and had laid into him a little too hard. He"d come back at her with everything he had, an extended rant that ranged from her lame-a.s.s thesis-the cultural impact of some obscure TV show from before they"d been born-to her backbiting, over-educated circle of friends.
He"d moved on to her relationship with her mother; her insufferable whining about a suicidal uncle she"d been close to; and her pretentious way of sprinkling her speech with stupid pseudo-intellectual buzzwords. He crossed the line again and again and she kicked him out on his a.s.s.
"Dad says that you never switched on during the divorce."
"Your Dad has nothing to complain about. He got enough pity lavished on him to kill ten men. It was all your grandmother"s family could do not to devour him whole."
"But you stayed switched off," Sean said.
"In the court, I was switched off. Ever been in a court, Sean?"
"You stayed switched off."
"In the courtroom."
"And before, during the separation?"
"Same thing," Grampa said.
"And after, during visitations?"
"Not then," Grampa said, loudly. "Not during visitations."
"I"ve got the logfiles, Grampa," Sean said.
"What the h.e.l.l do a twelve-year-old and a grown man have to talk about? I kept him fed. I took him out to the carny and to kiddie movies. I drove him to hockey."
"You switched off, Grampa," Sean said. "The you that counted wasn"t there."
"Sophistry," Grampa said. "Bulls.h.i.t. I remember all of it. I was there. Not many other parents were, let me tell you. Usually, it was just me and a few others in the stands, or kids running around loose like animals at the carny. Your father has nothing to complain about."
"Why, aren"t you two looking excited!" Adele said, hobbling alongside of the table. She was leaning on Ethan, a vigorous old man with sinewy arms and dead eyes. His face was unlined, free from smile lines and frowning creases.
"Hi, Adele," Sean said, trying to keep the exasperation out of his voice.
"Ethan, this is Sean and his grandfather, Brice."
Ethan extended his hand and Sean shook it. "Very nice to meet you," Ethan said. His hand was dry and papery, his eyes vacant. Sean shook it, and a frisson of shameful disgust sizzled up his abdomen. He had a sudden vision of Ethan"s brain, desiccated in his skull, the gleaming edges of the chip poking free.
He surrept.i.tiously wiped his hand on his pants as Ethan turned to Grampa and shook his hand. "Very nice to meet you."
"Do you mind if we sit down?" Adele said. "I"m afraid that I"m a little p.o.o.ped. All those stairs!"Sean offered his chair and went off to the lounge with Ethan to get two more. When they got back, Adele had her hand on Grampa"s forearm. "-I worked in a dairy, answering the phones! You tell people you used to work in a dairy, they think you were milking the cows!" Adele laughed and Grampa shot Sean a hostile look.
Sean said, "Grampa was a machinist before he retired. You really liked doing that, huh, Grampa?"
Grampa nodded perfunctorily.
"I mean, the logfiles show that you almost never switched off at work. Must"ve been pretty engrossing. You should give workshops here. I bet it"d be good therapy." Sean knew he was baiting the old man, but he couldn"t stop himself.
"Your father"s arriving tomorrow," Grampa said. "He called last night. I didn"t tell him you were here, I thought it would be a nice surprise."
Adele clapped her hands. "Well isn"t that nice! Three generations, all together. Sean, you"ll have to introduce Ethan and me to your father. Ethan never had children, isn"t that right?"
Ethan said, "Yes."
"Always the bachelor, my boy. But it wasn"t for lack of opportunity. You had to beat them off with a stick, didn"t you, son?"
Ethan said, "Yes."
"I always hoped for a grandchild to hold, but you have to let your children live their own lives, isn"t that right, Brice?"
"Yes," Grampa said, with a kind of horrified fascination.
"Ethan was always too busy for romance."
"Yes," Ethan said.
"Working and working and working for that transcription service. You must have typed a million words. Did you ever count them, Ethan?"
"Yes," Ethan said. "I typed roughly fifteen million words."
"Nowadays, of course, no one types. It"s all talking to computers now. When I was a girl, they all said that you"d always have a job if you just learned to type. Times sure change, don"t they?"
"Yes," Ethan and Grampa said together. Grampa startled like he"d been shocked.
"Dad"s coming tomorrow?" Sean said.
Grampa said, "Yes. He"s catching the SIX AM. He"ll be here by ten."
"Isn"t that nice," Adele said.
They left Grampa and Ethan sitting at the table together. Sean looked back over his shoulder before they got on the elevator, and Grampa was still switched on, staring hard at him.
"You must be excited about seeing your father again," Adele said to him when they were sitting around the pool.
Sean was getting the hang of talking to Adele. "Ethan and my grandfather seem to be hitting it off."
"Oh, I certainly hope so! Ethan could use some friends at that place."
Sean pictured the two of them, seated across from each other at the ward table, running maintenance routines at each other, saying, "Yes," "Yes." Unbidden, a grin came to Sean"s face.
"Why did you put Ethan in the Home?" Sean asked, shifting to catch more sun on his face.
"He wanted to go," she said. "The doctor came by and told him about it and asked him if he wanted to go, and he said "Yes." That was it!"
Sean snuck a look at Adele. She was wincing into the light, following it like a sunflower. "Adele," he said.
"Yes, Sean?"
"Ethan was in maintenance mode. He was switched off. He said "Yes," because his subroutines didn"t want to be any trouble. You know that, right?"
"Oh, that foolishness again! Ethan"s a good boy, is all. He remembers my birthday and Mother"s Day, every year."
"Subroutines, Adele," Sean said, straining to keep an inexplicable anger out of his voice."Humph! Subroutines!"
"Adele, he"s a robot. He"s a walking coma. He"s been switched off for so long, all you"re talking to is a G.o.dd.a.m.n chip, he"s not a G.o.dd.a.m.n person anymore. None of them are. My G.o.dd.a.m.n Grampa"s spent three-quarters of his G.o.dd.a.m.n life away. He"s either an angry old b.a.s.t.a.r.d, or he"s a G.o.dd.a.m.n zombie. You know that , right?"
"Sean, you"re very upset," Adele said. "Why don"t you have a nice lie-down, and we"ll talk in the morning. I can"t wait to meet your father!"
Sean stalked off to his room and tried to record some field notes while flipping around in the weird, poky corners of the motel"s cable system, j.a.panese game-shows and Hindu religious epics. He smoked half a cigarette, drank half a beer, tried to m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.e, and finally, slept.