I felt this so strongly that I knelt again and prayed to G.o.d, "Teach us!"
They looked at me and talked to each other, brr-grr, gregra.
I sent our mother and the others to talk with our generals, for angels had come with reports about Omimo"s army. Tazu was very tired from lack of sleep. We two sat down on the floor together and talked quietly. He was concerned about G.o.d"s seat. "How can they all sit on it at once?" he said.
"They"ll have more seats added," I said. "Or now two will sit on it, and then another two. They"re all G.o.d, the way you and I were, so it doesn"t matter."
"But none of them is a woman," Tazu said.
I looked at G.o.d more carefully and saw that he was right. This disturbed me slowly, but very deeply.
How could G.o.d be only half human?
In my world, a marriage made G.o.d. In this world coming to be, what made G.o.d?
I thought of Omimo. White clay on his face and a false marriage had made him a false G.o.d, but many people believed he was truly G.o.d. Would the power of their belief make him G.o.d, while we gave our power to this new, ignorant G.o.d?
If Omimo found out how helpless they appeared to be, not knowing how to speak, not even knowing how to eat, he would fear their divinity even less than he had feared ours. He would attack. And would our soldiers fight for this G.o.d?
I saw clearly that they would not. I saw from the back of my head, with the eyes that see what is coming. I saw the misery that was coming to my people. I saw the world dead, but I did not see it being born. What world could be born of a G.o.d who was male? Men do not give birth.
Everything was wrong. It came very strongly into my mind that we should have our soldiers kill G.o.d now, while they were still new in the world and weak.
And then? If we killed G.o.d there would be no G.o.d. We could pretend to be G.o.d again, the way Omimo pretended. But G.o.dhead is not pretense. Nor is it put on and off like a golden hat.
The world had died. That was fated and foretold. The fate of these strange men was to be G.o.d, and they would have to live their fate as we lived ours, finding out what it was to be as it came to be, unless they could see over their shoulders, which is one of the gifts of G.o.d.
I stood up again, taking Tazu"s hand so that he stood beside me. "The city is yours," I said to them, "and the people are yours. The world is yours, and the war is yours. All praise and glory to you, our G.o.d!" And we knelt once more and bowed our foreheads deeply to our thumbs, and left them.
"Where are we going?" Tazu said. He was twelve years old and no longer G.o.d. There were tears in his eyes.
"To find Mother and Ruaway," I said, "and Arzi and Lord Idiot and Haghag, and any of our people who want to come with us." I had begun to say "our children," but we were no longer their mother and father.
"Come where?" Tazu said.
"To Chimlu."
"Up in the mountains? Run and hide? We should stay and fight Omimo."
"What for?" I said.
That was sixty years ago.
I have written this to tell how it was to live in the house of G.o.d before the world ended and began again. To tell it I have tried to write with the mind I had then. But neither then nor now do I fully understand the oracle which my father and all the priests saw and spoke. All of it came to pa.s.s. Yet we have no G.o.d, and no oracles to guide us.
None of the strange men lived a long life, but they all lived longer than Omimo.
We were on the long road up into the mountains when an angel caught up with us to tell us thatMesiwa had joined Omimo, and the two generals had brought their great army against the house of the strangers, which stood like a tower in the fields near Soze River, with a waste of burned earth around it.
The strangers warned Omimo and his army clearly to withdraw, sending lightning out of the house over their heads that set distant trees afire. Omimo would not heed. He could prove he was G.o.d only by killing G.o.d. He commanded his army to rush at the tall house. He and Mesiwa and a hundred men around him were destroyed by a single bolt of lightning. They were burned to ash. His army fled in terror.
"They are G.o.d! They are G.o.d indeed!" Tazu said when he heard the angel tell us that. He spoke joyfully, for he was as unhappy in his doubt as I was. And for a while we could all believe in them, since they could wield the lightning. Many people called them G.o.d as long as they lived.
My belief is that they were not G.o.d in any sense of the word I understand, but were otherworldly, supernatural beings, who had great powers, but were weak and ignorant of our world, and soon sickened of it and died.
There were fourteen of them in all. Some of them lived more than ten years. These learned to speak as we do. One of them came up into the mountains to Chimlu, along with some of the pilgrims who still wanted to worship Tazu and me as G.o.d. Tazu and I and this man talked for many days, learning from each other. He told us that their house moved in the air, flying like a dragon-lizard, but its wings were broken. He told us that in the land they came from the sunlight is very weak, and it was our strong sunlight that made them sick. Though they covered their bodies with weavings, still their thin skins let the sunlight in, and they would all die soon. He told us they were sorry they had come. I said, "You had to come. G.o.d saw you coming. What use is it to be sorry?"
He agreed with me that they were not G.o.d. He said that G.o.d lived in the sky. That seemed to us a useless place for G.o.d to live. Tazu said they had indeed been G.o.d when they came, since they fulfilled the oracle and changed the world; but now, like us, they were common people.
Ruaway took a liking to this stranger, maybe because she had been a stranger, and when he was at Chimlu they slept together. She said he was like any man under his weavings and coverings. He told her he could not impregnate her, as his seed would not ripen in our earth. Indeed the strangers left no children.
This stranger told us his name, Bin-yi-zin. He came back up to Chimlu several times, and was the last of them to die. He left with Ruaway the dark crystals he wore before his eyes, which make things look larger and clearer for her, though to my eyes they make things dim. To me he gave his own record of his life, in a beautiful writing made of lines of little pictures, which I keep in the box with this writing I make.
When Tazu"s t.e.s.t.i.c.l.es ripened we had to decide what to do, for brothers and sisters among the common people do not marry. We asked the priests and they advised us that our marriage being divine could not be unmade, and that though no longer G.o.d we were husband and wife. Since we were in each other"s heart, this pleased us, and often we slept together. Twice I conceived, but the conceptions aborted, one very early and one in the fourth month, and I did not conceive again. This was a grief to us, and yet fortunate, for had we had children, the people might have tried to make them be G.o.d.
It takes a long time to learn to live without G.o.d, and some people never do. They would rather have a false G.o.d than none at all. All through the years, though seldom now, people would climb up to Chimlu to beg Tazu and me to come back down to the city and be G.o.d. And when it became clear that the strangers would not rule the country as G.o.d, either under the old rules or with new ones, men began to imitate Omimo, marrying ladies of our lineage and claiming to be a new G.o.d. They all found followers and they all made wars, fighting each other. None of them had Omimo"s terrible courage, or the loyalty of a great army to a successful general. They have all come to wretched ends at the hands of angry, disappointed, wretched people.
For my people and my land have fared no better than I feared and saw over my shoulder on the night the world ended. The great stone roads are not maintained. In places they are already broken. Almoghay bridge was never rebuilt. The granaries and storehouses are empty and falling down. The old and sick must beg from neighbors, and a pregnant girl has only her mother to turn to, and an orphan has no one.
There is famine in the west and south. We are the hungry people, now. The angels no longer weave the net of government, and one part of the land knows nothing of the others. They say barbarians havebrought back the wilderness across the Fourth River, and ground dragons sp.a.w.n in the fields of grain.
Little generals and painted G.o.ds raise armies to waste lives and goods and spoil the sacred earth.
The evil time will not last forever. No time does. I died as G.o.d a long time ago. I have lived as a common woman a long time. Each year I see the sun turn back from the south behind great Kanaghadwa. Though G.o.d does not dance on the glittering pavement, yet I see the birthday of the world over the shoulder of my death.
Oracle
GREG EGAN.
Greg Egan (www.nets.p.a.ce.net.au/~gregegan), who lives in Perth, West Australia, hit his stride in the early 1990s and became one of the most interesting new hard SF writers of the decade. He is internationally famous for his stories and novels. His name burst into international prominence in 1990 with several fine SF stories that focussed attention on his writing. His SF novels to date are Quarantine (1992), Permutation City (1994), Distress (1995), Diaspora (1997), and Teranesia (1999); his short story collections are Our Lady of Chern.o.byl (1995), Axiomatic (1995), and Luminous (1999). As of 2000, he is the flagship hard SF writer of the younger generation.
"Oracle," an alternate history hard SF tale that was published in Asimov"s, sets up a dramatic philosophical debate between figures who represent Alan Turing and C. S. Lewis. At issue is the existence of G.o.d, and reason versus the supernatural. In an interview first published in Spanish in Gigamesh magazine, Egan said, "There are people who think that if you ask the question "Why is there something rather than nothing?" then the only meaningful answer is "G.o.d."
I can understand why they feel that way, but I don"t think that"s really an answer at all... science is the only way we can hope to get the facts straight, about the world we"re living in, and the consequences of our actions." This story is in the Gernsback and Campbell tradition, in which science is adequate to the task.
1.
On his eighteenth day in the tiger cage, Robert Stoney began to lose hope of emerging unscathed.
He"d woken a dozen times throughout the night with an overwhelming need to stretch his back and limbs, and none of the useful compromise positions he"d discovered in his first few days-the least-worst solutions to the geometrical problem of his confinement-had been able to dull his sense of panic. He"d been in far more pain in the second week, suffering cramps that felt as if the muscles of his legs were dying on the bone, but these new spasms had come from somewhere deeper, powered by a sense of urgency that revolved entirely around his own awareness of his situation.
That was what frightened him. Sometimes he could find ways to minimize his discomfort, sometimes he couldn"t, but he"d been clinging to the thought that, in the end, all these f.u.c.kers could ever do was hurt him. That wasn"t true, though. They could make him ache for freedom in the middle of the night, the way he might have ached with grief, or love. He"d always cherished the understanding that his self was a whole, his mind and body indivisible. But he"d failed to appreciate the corollary: through his body, they could touch every part of him. Change every part of him.
Morning brought a fresh torment: hay fever. The house was somewhere deep in the countryside, with nothing to be heard in the middle of the day but bird song. June had always been his worst month for hay fever, but in Manchester it had been tolerable. As he ate breakfast, mucus dripped from his face into the bowl of lukewarm oats they"d given-him. He stanched the flow with the back of his hand, but suffered a moment of shuddering revulsion when he couldn"t find a way to reposition himself to wipe his hand clean on his trousers. Soon he"d need to empty his bowels. They supplied him with a chamber pot wheneverhe asked, but they always waited two or three hours before removing it. The smell was bad enough, but the fact that it took up s.p.a.ce in the cage was worse.
Toward the middle of the morning, Peter Quint came to see him. "How are we today, Prof?" Robert didn"t reply. Since the day Quint had responded with a puzzled frown to the suggestion that he had an appropriate name for a spook, Robert had tried to make at least one fresh joke at the man"s expense every time they met, a petty but satisfying indulgence. But now his mind was blank, and in retrospect the whole exercise seemed like an insane distraction, as bizarre and futile as scoring philosophical points against some predatory animal while it gnawed on his leg.
"Many happy returns," Quint said cheerfully.
Robert took care to betray no surprise. He"d never lost track of the days, but he"d stopped thinking in terms of the calendar date; it simply wasn"t relevant. Back in the real world, to have forgotten his own birthday would have been considered a benign eccentricity. Here it would be taken as proof of his deterioration, and imminent surrender.
If he was cracking, he could at least choose the point of fissure. He spoke as calmly as he could, without looking up. "You know I almost qualified for the Olympic marathon, back in forty-eight? If I hadn"t done my hip in just before the trials, I might have competed." He tried a self-deprecating laugh. "I suppose I was never really much of an athlete. But I"m only forty-six. I"m not ready for a wheelchair yet." The words did help: he could beg this way without breaking down completely, expressing an honest fear without revealing how much deeper the threat of damage went.
He continued, with a measured note of plaintiveness that he hoped sounded like an appeal to fairness. "I just can"t bear the thought of being crippled. All I"m asking is that you let me stand upright.
Let me keep my health."
Quint was silent for a moment, then he replied with a tone of thoughtful sympathy. "It"s unnatural, isn"t it? Living like this: bent over, twisted, day after day. Living in an unnatural way is always going to harm you. I"m glad you can finally see that."
Robert was tired; it took several seconds for the meaning to sink in. It was that crude, that obvious?
They"d locked him in this cage, for all this time, as a kind of ham-fisted metaphor for his crimes?
He almost burst out laughing, but he contained himself. "I don"t suppose you know Franz Kafka?"
"Kafka?" Quint could never hide his voracity for names. "One of your Commie chums, is he?"
"I very much doubt that he was ever a Marxist." Quint was disappointed, but prepared to make do with second best. "One of the other kind, then?"
Robert pretended to be pondering the question. "On balance, I suspect that"s not too likely either."
"So why bring his name up?"
"I have a feeling he would have admired your methods, that"s all. He was quite the connoisseur."
"Hmm." Quint sounded suspicious, but not entirely un-flattered.
Robert had first set eyes on Quint in February of 1952. His house had been burgled the week before, and Arthur, a young man he"d been seeing since Christmas, had confessed to Robert that he"d given an acquaintance the address. Perhaps the two of them had planned to rob him, and Arthur had backed out at the last moment. In any case, Robert had gone to the police with an unlikely story about spotting the culprit in a pub, trying to sell an electric razor of the same make and model as the one taken from his house. No one could be charged on such flimsy evidence, so Robert had had no qualms about the consequences if Arthur had turned out to be lying. He"d simply hoped to prompt an investigation that might turn up something more tangible.
The following day, the CID had paid Robert a visit. The man he"d accused was known to the police, and fingerprints taken on the day of the burglary matched the prints they had on file. However, at the time Robert claimed to have seen him in the pub, he"d been in custody already on an entirely different charge.
The detectives had wanted to know why he"d lied. To spare himself the embarra.s.sment, Robert had explained, of spelling out the true source of his information. Why was that embarra.s.sing?
"I"m involved with the informant."
One detective, Mr Wills, had asked matter-of-factly, "What exactly does that entail, sir?" And Robert-in a burst of frankness, as if honesty itself was sure to be rewarded- had told him every detail.He"d known it was still technically illegal, of course. But then, so was playing football on Easter Sunday.
It could hardly be treated as a serious crime, like burglary.
The police had strung him along for hours, gathering as much information as they could before disabusing him of this misconception. They hadn"t charged him immediately; they"d needed a statement from Arthur first. But then Quint had materialized the next morning, and spelt out the choices very starkly.
Three years in prison, with hard labor. Or Robert could resume his war-time work-for just one day a week, as a handsomely paid consultant to Quint"s branch of the secret service-and the charges would quietly vanish.
At first, he"d told Quint to let the courts do their worst. He"d been angry enough to want to take a stand against the preposterous law, and whatever his feelings for Arthur, Quint had suggested-gloatingly, as if it strengthened his case-that the younger, working-cla.s.s man would be treated far more leniently than Robert, having been led astray by someone whose duty was to set an example for the lower orders. Three years in prison was an unsettling prospect, but it would not have been the end of the world; the Mark I had changed the way he worked, but he could still function with nothing but a pencil and paper, if necessary. Even if they"d had him breaking rocks from dawn to dusk he probably would have been able to day-dream productively, and for all Quint"s scaremongering he"d doubted it would come to that.
At some point, though, in the twenty-four hours Quint had given him to reach a decision, he"d lost his nerve. By granting the spooks their one day a week, he could avoid all the fuss and disruption of a trial.
And though his work at the time-modeling embryological development-had been as challenging as anything he"d done in his life, he hadn"t been immune to pangs of nostalgia for the old days, when the fate of whole fleets of battleships had rested on finding the most efficient way to extract logical contradictions from a bank of rotating wheels.
The trouble with giving in to extortion was, it proved that you could be bought. Never mind that the Russians could hardly have offered to intervene with the Manchester constabulary next time he needed to be rescued. Never mind that he would scarcely have cared if an enemy agent had threatened to send such comprehensive evidence to the newspapers that there"d be no prospect of his patrons saving him again. He"d lost any chance to proclaim that what he did in bed with another willing partner was not an issue of national security; by saying yes to Quint, he"d made it one. By choosing to be corrupted once, he"d brought the whole torrent of cliches and paranoia down upon his head: he was vulnerable to blackmail, an easy target for entrapment, perfidious by nature. He might as well have posed in flagrante delicto with Guy Burgess on the steps of the Kremlin.
It wouldn"t have mattered if Quint and his masters had merely decided that they couldn"t trust him.
The problem was-some six years after recruiting him, with no reason to believe that he had ever breached security in any way- they"d convinced themselves that they could neither continue to employ him, nor safely leave him in peace, until they"d rid him of the trait they"d used to control him in the first place.
Robert went through the painful, complicated process of rearranging his body so he could look Quint in the eye. "You know, if it was legal there"d be nothing to worry about, would there? Why don"t you devote some of your consider able Machiavellian talents to that end? Blackmail a few politicians. Set up a Royal Commission. It would only take you a couple of years. Then we could all get on with our real jobs."
Quint blinked at him, more startled than outraged. "You might as well say that we should legalize treason!"
Robert opened his mouth to reply, then decided not to waste his breath. Quint wasn"t expressing a moral opinion. He simply meant that a world in which fewer people"s lives were ruled by the constant fear of discovery was hardly one that a man in his profession would wish to hasten into existence.
When Robert was alone again, the time dragged. His hay fever worsened, until he was sneezing and gagging almost continuously; even with freedom of movement and an endless supply of the softest linen handkerchiefs, he would have been reduced to abject misery. Gradually, though, he grew more adept atdealing with the symptoms, delegating the task to some barely conscious part of himself. By the middle of the afternoon-covered in filth, eyes almost swollen shut-he finally managed to turn his mind back to his work.
For the past four years he"d been immersed in particle physics. He"d been following the field on and off since before the war, but the paper by Yang and Mills in "54, in which they"d generalized Maxwell"s equations for electromagnetism to apply to the strong nuclear force, had jolted him into action.
After several false starts, he believed he"d discovered a useful way to cast gravity into the same form.
In general relativity, if you carried a four-dimensional velocity vector around a loop that enclosed a curved region of s.p.a.cetime, it came back rotated-a phenomenon highly reminiscent of the way more abstract vectors behaved in nuclear physics. In both cases, the rotations could be treated algebraically, and the traditional way to get a handle on this was to make use of a set of matrices of complex numbers whose relationships mimicked the algebra in question. Hermann Weyl had catalogued most of the possibilities back in the "20s and "30s.
In s.p.a.cetime, there were six distinct ways you could rotate an object: you could turn it around any of three perpendicular axes in s.p.a.ce, or you could boost its velocity in any of the same three directions.
These two kinds of rotation were complementary, or "dual" to each other, with the ordinary rotations only affecting coordinates that were untouched by the corresponding boost, and vice versa. This meant that you could rotate something around, say, the x -axis, and speed it up in the same direction, without the two processes interfering.
When Robert had tried applying the Yang-Mills approach to gravity in the obvious way, he"d floundered. It was only when he"d shifted the algebra of rotations into a new, strangely skewed guise that the mathematics had begun to fall into place. Inspired by a trick that particle physicists used to construct fields with left-or right-handed spin, he"d combined every rotation with its own dual multiplied by i, the square root of minus one. The result was a set of rotations in four complex dimensions, rather than the four real ones of ordinary s.p.a.cetime, but the relationships between them preserved the original algebra.
Demanding that these "self-dual" rotations satisfy Einstein"s equations turned out to be equivalent to ordinary general relativity, but the process leading to a quantum-mechanical version of the theory became dramatically simpler. Robert still had no idea how to interpret this, but as a purely formal trick it worked spectacularly well-and when the mathematics fell into place like that, it had to mean something.
He spent several hours pondering old results, turning them over in his mind"s eye, rechecking and reimagining everything in the hope of forging some new connection. Making no progress, but there"d always been days like that. It was a triumph merely to spend this much time doing what he would have done back in the real world-however mundane, or even frustrating, the same activity might have been in its original setting.
By evening, though, the victory began to seem hollow. He hadn"t lost his wits entirely, but he was frozen, stunted. He might as well have whiled away the hours reciting the base-32 multiplication table in Baudot code, just to prove that he still remembered it.
As the room filled with shadows, his powers of concentration deserted him completely. His hay fever had abated, but he was too tired to think, and in too much pain to sleep. This wasn"t Russia, they couldn"t hold him forever; he simply had to wear them down with his patience. But when, exactly, would they have to let him go? And how much more patient could Quint be, with no pain, no terror, to erode his determination?