昨天 by 風弄 Chapter 29
Yesterday by Feng Nong.
The hotel staff calls me back quickly, letting me know that the air tickets are taken care of. I pack my things in a hurry, fidgeting in the room, pacing back and forth, waiting for HongBing to return before immediately rushing to the airport. The plane leaves at 5 pm. The FeiRuoLin celebratory reception should be ending soon. So after HongBing gets back, we still have 2 hours to get to the airport.
At 3 pm, HongBing has yet to return. I"m a little impatient, and decide to call HongBing. How strange, her cell is not turned on. Suddenly I feel alarmed. YuJiang"s words, sinisterly flooding over my heart. "The victim would be very miserable."
My eyes fly open in fright, shaking and trembling, I call a staff member from the branch company that is also at the reception. Once the call connects, I can"t even manage any of the conventional greetings, almost shouting out:
"Where"s HongBing? Do you know where HongBing is?" The person on the side is clearly startled, there is no response for quite a while. I consider hanging up the phone and calling the police. At this moment, HongBing"s voice comes over the phone:
"Boss, what happened?" She asks anxiously, thinking something must have happened to me. Immediately my whole body relaxes. I look at the big mirror on the wall in the room. The face reflected in the mirror is as white as a ghost. Just like a bird startled by the tw.a.n.g of a bow. It"s as if I have just ran a 2 km race, just finished running, saying in a soft voice:
"It"s nothing, I just want to let you know that there a lot of things to take care of in France, I have already reserved our return tickets for this afternoon, just make sure you don"t come back too late." I add: "HongBing, why did you turn off your cell phone?" HongBing laughs softly in surprise:
"Aiya, I didn"t even know it was turned off. No wonder it didn"t ring the whole day." After the false alarm, I calm down considerably. I hang up the phone and collapse on the sofa. Sometimes I"m really disgusted with myself, why can"t I let go of what I should have let go a long time ago? Worrying over winning and losing, even worse than a woman. Cowardice, may be my true nature.
I hug the music box HongBing gave me and start to listen to it again, over and over "3 little pigs". The cheerful and light-hearted tune dances in the air, but for no reason, I start to picture YuJiang, gently rubbing his face with my pajamas with his eyes closed. The feeling at that moment, the look on his face, was as if he was deeply in love but not daring to touch the one he loves. My heart starts to ache dully. I can"t deny that it excites me and also makes me feel very touched. It"s as if the look the on his face is telling everyone that the one who has been forsaken, wounded, full of riches but forever unhappy --------- is him. How outrageous. I sneer.
HongBing comes back on schedule, packs her bags, and leaves with me to the airport. Looking at her cheerful chatty manner, I can"t tell that her heart is still filled with pain. Or is it that one"s own suffering can only be contemplated by oneself. No matter whose arms you throw yourself into sobbing, the pain remains in your own heart. Stop thinking nonsense, others can help share your burdens, if only a little piece, a little shred.
I sit alone on the plane, gazing out the window, slowly drinking cups of soft drinks, vaguely trying to use these artificial fruit juices to wash away the taste of YuJiang on my lips. HongBing notices that I"m uneasy, only stealing glances at me.
I don"t know why, but I decided keep my distance from HongBing as much as possible, in the end, we are just employer and employee. Even if we were friends, we should not share a hotel room. It"s definitely not because this could make YuJiang angry. Even when he arrogantly shows his holier than thou att.i.tude, I know, he is furious. I can"t deny that his anger makes me happy. If I were to speak more frankly and sincerely, then I should say, I find his anger very gratifying.
While I"m daydreaming, the plane arrives at the destination. As I"m pulling my suitcase along, I definitely do not expect someone to come meet me at the airport. That"s because I don"t have much luggage, and also, I don"t want someone to ask questions such as "Mr. President, why did you rush back immediately after signing the contract". But there is actually someone calling me from outside the airport.
"ShengSheng!" A familiar way of addressing me. Once I make out the face of the other person, I"m rooted to the spot, not knowing how to respond. HongBing looks at me, looks at the other party, and tactfully decides to stand silently on one side. "I really managed to catch you!" the newcomer grabs my hand, overly excited. I blink blankly, only managing to say:
"ShuTing, it"s been a while." Right now this person is really making me feel awkward. That time when I was imprisoned in Malaysia, it"s also partly his fault, but he sincerely tried his best to save me; however after I escaped, I left hurriedly without a word. In fact, after I took over Huang enterprise, I"m always in the papers, he must have realized long ago that I had escaped with my life. But the thing that makes me most uncomfortable, is that he still likes me as a man. Thinking back to that day when we were escaping, when he held me in his arms, I can only shake my head endlessly.
"I called the hotel you were staying at in Vancouver. They told me that you had already booked tickets back to France. So I decided to come here and try my luck." ShuTing reveals a childish smile, helping me carry my leather suitcase. There is no way to explain this to HongBing, so I just adopt a boss-like manner, turning to HongBing:
"HongBing, you should also be tired, don"t bother going back to the office, it"s better if you go home and rest a little. We"ll start work tomorrow." ShuTing beams with self-satisfaction, I secretly pray that he won"t take these few words to my secretary as an indication that we have some sort of intimate relationship.
"Let me treat you to a welcome home dinner." ShuTing leads me to his sports car. It"s the latest model, I just saw a photo of it in some racing magazine. What suddenly flashes through my mind, is ShuTing"s status in Malaysia as the second in line at He enterprise. That"s right, ShuTing is also an heir of a prominent family, but he is so warm, so down to earth, that it makes people mistake his family background. An heir of a prominent family should be like me, or like YuJiang, or like YuTing, in any case, not like ShuTing.
I smile lightly, and get into ShuTing"s car, letting him bring me to wherever. This person will never hurt me, that is my intuition. ShuTing looks at me from the rearview mirror while driving.
"ShengSheng, you look much better, much healthier."
"Is that so? Thank you." I answer detachedly, in an unfamiliar fashion. He seems a little uncomfortable, as if taking a blow from my detached manner. But he quickly picks himself up, and proceeds to chat and laugh with me. I remain cool and indifferent, responding occasionally in one or two syllables. Finally, ShuTing earnestly says:
"That time in Malaysia, when you escaped, why didn"t let me know?" I have nothing to say, even my eyes are cold inside. He asks again: "Do you think that I"m really useless? I guess, the one that saved you is Rong YuJiang." ShuTing gets no where with me, as I keep my mouth closed. I listen to him talk to himself. "Do you know how I felt when I heard the verdict of your case? At that time, there was a ban on visitors at the prison. It"s only after I bribed the policeman to allow me to take a look at the corpse of prisoner that was executed by shooting, that I found out the person that died wasn"t you."
ShuTing became more agitated with each word, abruptly slamming on the brakes, before turning around to face the aloof and indifferent me: "When I thought you had died, my heart wanted to split open. I thought that if I didn"t bring you to Malaysia, that would not have happened to you, I really hated myself to death." I look at his face, looking as if he is about to shed tears. I can imagine him full of remorse to the point of death. But I actually feel ruthlessly happy.
I know that ShuTing is pure and sincere. Giving his heart and soul to me. Such a rare person that actually treasures me, yet I find satisfaction in his suffering and despair. I surprise myself.
"After I found out that you had been executed by shooting, I immediately thought of taking a pistol and committing suicide. But, I remembered that you were framed, so I stopped myself to avenge you." ShuTing sighs, as if feeling extremely lucky: "Luckily I didn"t do such a foolish thing, ShengSheng, if not, wouldn"t it be just like a pair of Romeo and Juliet?" He smiles gently at me. Those words finally pique my interest:
"ShuTing, did you already investigate who framed me? What"s the result?"
"I didn"t find anything at all. I used all my family"s resources but we came up empty." He vows solemnly to me: "I won"t give up, ShengSheng, I will definitely avenge you." Use all your family"s resources? Of course you found nothing. Who do you think controls the resources of the He family! I look at ShuTing, and ask him knowingly:
"ShuTing, these words you say to me today, is it a promise?" He immediately grabs my hands:
"With the sun and the moon as my witness, He ShuTing will never betray HuangSheng." It"s not as if we"re in front of flowers or under the moonlight, I never had the intention to be together with him, why does he have to be so nauseating. What matters to me, is only one thing:
"You will definitely avenge me, right?"
"I will!" ShuTing nods his head earnestly. I know that I have concealed a cruel truth, unwilling to look in his eyes, I turn my head and wind down the window.
Yet another enchanting moonlit night, yet again the wind is blowing *hu hu* in, yet again in a brand new sports car. I recall the first night I slipped out of the Rong mansion with YuJiang.
Looks like deception between people, is definitely not something that is planned deliberately, someone will present themselves at the door, giving over his heart wholeheartedly, presenting it before you with both hands, to let you step on it. Such a generous gift, it would be impolite to refuse. Just reaching out to take it with a smile, use it to my heart"s content, that"s how it"s done in reality. I want to laugh, but my heart aches. ShuTing hugs me gently from behind, saying softly:
"ShengSheng, don"t be afraid, I will help you, I will protect you. From this point on, no one will be able to harm you." I say:
"ShuTing, don"t do too much for me, I won"t be able to take it."
"Silly."
He doesn"t know, that this conversation, except for the names, each and every word, have already, without change, been used in front of flowers, under the moonlight. By YuJiang and me. Our yesterday.