Human nature generally resists change. Change is uncomfortable. Regardless of its positive or negative effect, change can be stressful. Sometimes we get so comfortable with our negativity that even when the change is for the positive, we don"t want to accept it. We stay with the negative.
Charles d.i.c.kens wrote about a prisoner who stayed for many years in a dungeon. After serving his sentence, he got his freedom. He was brought out from his cell into the bright daylight of the open world. This man looked all around and after a few moments was so uncomfortable with his newly acquired freedom that he asked to be brought back to his cell into confinement. To him, the dungeon, the chains and the darkness were more secure and comfortable than accepting the change of freedom and the open world.
STEPS TO BUILDING A POSITIVE ATt.i.tUDE.
During childhood, we form att.i.tudes that last a lifetime. Undoubtedly, it would be a lot easier and better to have acquired a positive att.i.tude during our formative years. Does that mean if we acquire a negative att.i.tude, whether by design or by default, we are stuck with it? Of course not. Can we change? Yes. Is it easy? Absolutely not.
How do you build and maintain a positive att.i.tude?
Become aware of the principles that build a positive att.i.tude Desire to be positive Cultivate the discipline and dedication to practice those principles
As adults, regardless of our environment, education and experience, who is responsible for our att.i.tude?
We are. We have to accept responsibility some time in our lives. We blame everyone and everything but ourselves. It is up to us to choose our att.i.tude every morning. As adults, we need to accept responsibility for our behavior and actions.
People with negative att.i.tudes will blame the whole world, their parents, teachers, spouse, the economy and the government for their failures.
You have to get away from the past. Dust yourself off, get back into the mainstream. Put your dreams together and move forward. Thinking of the positive things that are true, honest and good, will put us in a positive state of mind.
If we want to build and maintain a positive att.i.tude, we need to consciously practice the following steps:
Step 1: Change Focus, Look for the Positive
We need to become good finders. We need to focus on the positive in life. Let"s start looking for what is right in a person or situation instead of looking for what is wrong.
Because of our conditioning, we are so attuned to finding fault and looking for what is wrong that we forget to see the positive picture.
Even in paradise, fault finders will find faults. Most people find what they are looking for.
If they are looking for friendship, happiness and the positive, that is what they get. If they are looking for fights or indifference, then that is what they get. Caution looking for the positive does not mean overlooking faults.
LOOKING FOR THE GOLD.
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As a young Scots boy, Andrew Carnegie came to America and started doing odd jobs.
He ended up as one of the largest steel manufacturers in the United States.
At one time he had 43 millionaires working for him. Several decades ago, a million dollars used to be a lot of money; even today it is a lot of money. Someone asked Mr. Carnegie how he dealt with people? Andrew Carnegie replied, "Dealing with people is like digging gold: When you go digging for an ounce of gold, you have to move tons of dirt to get an ounce of gold. But when you go digging, you don"t go looking for the dirt, you go looking for the gold."
What is your focus? Become a digger for gold. If you are looking for what is wrong with people or with things, you will find many. What are you looking for? Andrew Carnegie"s reply has a very important message. There is something positive in every person and every situation. Sometimes we have to dig deep to look for the positive because it may not be apparent. Besides, we are so used to looking for what is wrong with other people and situations, we forget to see what is right. Someone once said that even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
Remember when you go looking for gold, you have to move tons of dirt to get to an ounce of gold. But when you go looking, you don"t go looking for the dirt, you go looking for the gold.
Negative People will Always Criticize
Some people criticize no matter what. It does not matter which side you are on, they are always on the other side. They have made a career out of criticizing. They are "career critics." They criticize as if they will win a prize at a contest. They will find fault with every person and every situation. You will find people like this in every home, family, office.
They go around finding fault and telling everybody how bad things are and blaming the whole world for their problems. We have a name for these people. They are called energy suckers. They will go to the cafeteria and drown themselves in 20 cups of tea and coffee and smoke to their hearts" content with one excuse: they are trying to relax. All that they are doing is causing more tension for themselves and for others around them.
They spread negative messages like a plague and create an environment conducive to negative results.
Robert Fulton invented the steamboat. On the banks of the Hudson River he was displaying his new invention. The pessimists and the skeptics were gathered around to observe. They commented that it would never start. Lo and behold, it did. As it made its way down the river, the pessimists who said it would never go, started shouting that it would never stop. What an att.i.tude!
SOME PEOPLE ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE NEGATIVE.
There was a hunter who bought a bird dog, the only one of its kind in the world. That could walk on water . He couldn"t believe his eyes when he saw this miracle. At the same time, he was very pleased that he could show off his new acquisition to his friends.
He invited a friend to go duck hunting. After some time, they shot a few ducks and the man ordered his dog to run and fetch the birds. All day-long, the dog ran on water and kept fetching the birds. The owner was expecting a comment or a compliment about his amazing dog, but never got one. As they were returning home, he asked his friend if he 14*had noticed anything unusual about his dog. The friend replied, "Yes, in fact, I did notice something unusual. Your dog can"t swim."
Some people always look at the negative side. Who is pessimist? Pessimists
are unhappy when they have no troubles to speak feel bad when they feel good, for fear they will feel worse when they feel better spend most of their life at complaint counters always turn out the lights to see how dark it is are always looking for cracks in the mirror of life stop sleeping in bed when they hear that more people die in bed than anywhere else cannot enjoy their health because they think they may be sick tomorrow not only expect the worst but make the worst of whatever happens don"t see the doughnut, only the hole believe that the sun shines only to cast shadows forget their blessings and count their troubles know that hard work never hurts anyone but believe "why take a chance?"
Who is an optimist? It is well described by the following:
Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
Talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
Make all your friends feel there is something in them.
Look at the sunny side of everything.
Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best.
Be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
Give everyone a smile.
Spend so much time improving yourself that you have no time left to criticize others.
Be too big for worry and too n.o.ble for anger.*
Step 2: Make a Habit of Doing It Now
We have all procrastinated at some time in our lives. I know I have, only to have regretted it later. Procrastination leads to a negative att.i.tude. The habit of procrastination fatigues you more than the effort it takes to do it.
A completed task is fulfilling and energizing; an incomplete task drains energy like a leak from a tank.
If you want to build and maintain a positive att.i.tude, get into the habit of living in the present and doing it now.
He slept beneath the moon He basked beneath the sun He lived a life of going to do and died with nothing done.
--James Albery
15*When I Become a Big Boy
This is like the little boy who says when I become a big boy, I will do this and this and I will be happy. And when he becomes a big boy he says, when I finish college and do this and this and I will be happy. And when he finishes college he says when I get my first job and do this and this I will be happy. And when he gets his first job he says when I get married and do this and this and then I will be happy. And when he gets married he says when the kids get out of school and I do this and this I will be I happy. And when the kids get out of school, he says when I retire and do this and this, I will be happy. And when he retires what does he see? He sees life has just gone by in front of his eyes.
* "Creed for Optimists" by Christian D. La.r.s.en, in The Best of ... Bits Pieces, Economics Press, Fairfield, NJ, 1994, p. 3.
Some people practice procrastination by hiding behind high sounding words, saying "I"m a.n.a.lyzing" and six months later they are still a.n.a.lyzing. What they don"t realize is that they are suffering from a disease called, "Paralysis of a.n.a.lysis" and they will never succeed.
Then there is another breed of people who procrastinate by saying "I"m getting ready"
and a month later they are still getting ready and six months later they are still getting ready. What they don"t realize is they are suffering from a disease called "Excusitis."
They keep making excuses.
Life is not a dress rehearsal. I don"t care what philosophy you believe in--we have got only one shot at this game called life. The stakes are too high. The stakes are the future generations.
What time is it and where are we? The answer is now and we are here. Let"s make the best of now and utilize the present to the fullest. The message is not that we don"t need to plan for the future. The message is that we do need to plan for the future. If we utilize our present to its fullest, we are sowing the seeds for a better future automatically, aren"t we?
If you want to build a positive att.i.tude, learn the phrase, "do it now" and stop the habit of procrastination.
The saddest words in life are: