The most difficult thing about changing a habit is unlearning what is not working and learning positive habits.
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THE GIGO PRINCIPLE.
The computer phrase GIGO (garbage in, garbage out) is very sound.
Negativity in; negativity our.
Positivity in; positivity out.
Good in; good out.
Our input equals our output. Our subconscious mind does not discriminate. Whatever we choose to put into our subconscious mind it will accept and our behavior will reflect that accordingly.
The television has a considerable impact on influencing our morals, thinking, and culture, for good or bad. TV, while bringing in lots of useful information, has also made an outstanding contribution to degrading our tastes, corrupting our morals, and increasing juvenile delinquency. That is a pretty high price for so-called free speech or free television. The number of violent acts seen on TV by the age of 18 tops 200,000.*
Advertisers are good at conditioning their audience. Obviously advertis.e.m.e.nts sell products, otherwise why would companies advertise? When we watch TV or listen to a radio advertis.e.m.e.nt, our conscious mind is not listening, but our subconscious is open and we receive whatever is being dumped in. Have you ever argued with the TV? Of course not!
When we go to the movies we laugh and we cry. Is it because they put something in the seats or because the emotional input has an immediate emotional output? Change the input and the output changes.
THE CONSCIOUS AND SUBCONSCIOUS MIND.
Remember, our conscious mind has the ability to think. It can accept or reject. But the subconscious only accepts, it makes no distinction regarding input. If we feed our mind with thoughts of fear, doubt, and hate, the auto-suggestions will activate and translate those things into reality. The subconscious is the data bank. Of the two, the subconscious is more powerful. The subconscious is like the automobile while the conscious is like the driver. The power is in the automobile but the control is with the driver.
The subconscious mind can work for or against us. It is not rational. When we are not successful we need to reprogram the subconscious.
The subconscious mind is like a garden; it doesn"t care what you plant. It is neutral; it has no preferences. But if you plant good seeds, you will have a good garden; otherwise you will have a wild growth of weeds. I"d go a step further to say, even when you plant good seeds, weeds still grow and the weeding process must continue constantly.
The human mind is no different. Remember, positive and negative thoughts can"t occupy the mind simultaneously.
Companies spend close to a million dollars for a 30second ad during a major event.
Obviously, they are getting.results. We see an ad for a particular brand of soft drink or toothpaste and we go to the supermarket and buy that brand. We don"t want any soft drink but only that brand. Why? Because we are programmed and act accordingly.
138*In order to succeed, we need to get programmed in a positive way.
* source: "As in Selling Power", National Times, March 1996, p. 40.
HOW DO WE GET PROGRAMMED ?.
Think how we learned to ride a bike. There are four stages: The first stage is called unconscious incompetence. This is a stage where we don"t know that we don"t know. The child doesn"t know what it is to ride a bike (unconscious) nor can he ride a bike (incompetence). This is the stage of unconscious incompetence.
The second stage is called consciously incompetent. This is the stage where the child grows and becomes conscious of what it is to ride a bike but cannot ride one himself, so he is consciously incompetent.
But then he starts learning and now comes a third stage which is called consciously competent. Now he can ride a bike but has to think every time to do it. So with all the conscious thought and effort, the child is competent to ride a bike.
The fourth stage is called unconsciously competent. It comes when the child has practiced consciously riding the bike so much that he doesn"t have to think. It becomes an automatic process. He can talk to people and wave to others while riding. That means he has reached the stage of unconscious competence. At this level, we don"t need the concentration and thinking because the behavior pattern has become automatic.
This is the level that we want all our positive habits to reach. Unfortunately, we have some negative habits too which are at the unconscious competence stage and are detrimental to our progress.
Studies have shown that approximately 90% of all smokers became smokers by the age of 21. If a person has not become a smoker by the age of 21, then there is a very small chance that that person will ever become a smoker. This only proves that smoking is conditioned subconsciously and our conditioning starts at a young age.
NATURE ABHORS A VACUUM.
I have two nephews aged 12 and 14 who are tennis buffs. One day their father said to me, "This game is getting very expensive. The boys go through the rackets, b.a.l.l.s, lawn fees and now they have a coach. It all costs money." So I asked him, "It is getting expensive compared with what?" He could have them stop playing tennis and save some money. But if they stopped, and came home from school with all their time and energy at hand, what would they do? He stopped to think quietly for some time and then said, "I think I will have them continue. It is cheaper this way." He realized the importance of keeping them involved in positive activities. Otherwise they would be attracted to the negative because nature abhors a vacuum. Either we have a positive or we have a negative; there is no neutral ground here.
Character building becomes a habit. If we want to build a pleasing personality, we have to examine our habits closely. What begins as an occasional indulgence turns into a permanent flaw. Ask yourself the following questions:
1. Do you let the quality of your work deteriorate?
2. Do you indulge in gossip?
139*3. Are envy and ego a constant companion?
4. Is empathy in short supply?
We could go on and on. We are creatures of habit. It is good that it is that way because if we have to constantly think before doing anything, we would never get anything done.
There is just not enough time.
We control our habits by exercising control and self discipline over our thoughts. We need to harness the power of the subconscious mind. We need to cultivate the habits during childhood which build character in adulthood. Plant the right things early in life. But it is never too late to start. Every exposure to a positive or negative makes a difference.
Learning new habits takes time but positive habits, once mastered, give new meaning to life.
Optimism or pessimism is a habit. Habits are a matter of the pain and pleasure principle.
We do things either to avoid pain or to gain pleasure. So long as the gain is more than the pain, we continue with the habit. But if the pain exceeds the gain, we drop it. For example, when the doctor tells the smoker to stop, he replies "I can"t! It is a habit and I enjoy it!" and he goes on smoking. Here the pleasure is greater than the pain. Until one day he is faced with a major medical problem, and the doctor says "You better stop smoking immediately if you want to live" and he stops. Here the pain is greater than the pleasure.
RESISTANCE TO CHANGE.
When people recognize or become aware of their negative habits, why don"t they change?
The reason they don"t change is because they refuse to accept responsibility. Besides, the pleasure of continuing is greater than the pain. They may:
Lack the desire to change Lack the discipline to change Lack the belief that they can change Lack the awareness for the need to change
All these factors prevent us from getting rid of our negative habits. We all have a choice.
We can ignore negative behavior and hope it will go away--the ostrich approach--or face up to it and overcome it for life. Behavior modification comes from overcoming irrational fears and getting out of the comfort zone. Remember, fear is a learned behavior and can be unlearned.
The following excuses are the most common explanations for not changing negative habits: 1. We have always done it that way.
2. We have never done it that way.
3. That is not my job.
4. I don"t think it will make any difference.
5. I"m too busy.
FORMING POSITIVE HABITS.
140*It is never too late to change. Regardless of our age or how old the habit has been, this can be done by awareness and using techniques that modify behavior. We hear all the time that you can"t teach an old dog new tricks. We are human beings, not dogs. Neither are we performing tricks. We can unlearn self-destructive behavior and learn positive behavior.
The secret of successful people is that they form the habit of doing things that failures don"t like to do and won"t do. Just think about the things that failures don"t like to do. They are the same things that successful people don"t like to do but they do them anyway. For example, failures don"t like discipline, hard work, or keeping commitments. Successful people also dislike discipline, hard work (an athlete doesn"t like and want the discipline to get up and train every day but he does it regardless), but they do it anyway because they have formed the habit of doing things that failures don"t like to do.
All habits start small but end up eventually being very difficult to break. Att.i.tudes are habits and can be changed. It is a question of breaking and replacing old negative habits with new and positive ones.
It is easier to prevent bad habits than to overcome them. Good habits come from overcoming temptation. Happiness and unhappiness are a habit.
Excellence is the result of repeated conscious effort until it becomes a habit. It needs enough practice to become a habit.
We all have some negative habits that are pulling us down. Take 15 minutes alone and undisturbed to make a list of all the negative habits that are pulling you down.
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