And reach that light upon the snow...
And touch her dress at last...
So, so, I crawled. I could not speak or see Save dimly. The ice glared like fire, A long bright h.e.l.l of choking cold, And each vein was a tautened wire, Throbbing with torture -- and I crawled.
My hands were wounds.
So I attained The second h.e.l.l. The snow was stained I thought, and shook my head at it How red it was! Black tree-roots clutched And tore -- and soon the snow was s.m.u.tched Anew; and I lurched babbling on, And then fell down to rest a bit, And came upon another h.e.l.l...
Loose stones that ice made terrible, That rolled and gashed men as they fell.
I stumbled, slipped... and all was gone That I had gained. Once more I lay Before the long bright h.e.l.l of ice.
And still the light was far away.
There was red mist before my eyes Or I could tell you how I went Across the swaying firmament, A glittering torture of cold stars, And how I fought in t.i.tan wars...
And died... and lived again upon The rack... and how the horses strain When their red task is nearly done....
I only know that there was Pain, Infinite and eternal Pain.
And that I fell -- and rose again.
So she was walking in the road.
And I stood upright like a man, Once, and fell blind, and heard her cry...
And then there came long agony.
There was no pain when I awoke, No pain at all. Rest, like a goad, Spurred my eyes open -- and light broke Upon them like a million swords: And she was there. There are no words.
Heaven is for a moment"s span.
And ever.
So I spoke and said, "My honor stands up unbetrayed, And I have seen you. Dear..."
Sharp pain Closed like a cloak....
I moaned and died.
Here, even here, these things remain.
I shall draw nearer to her side.
Oh dear and laughing, lost to me, Hidden in grey Eternity, I shall attain, with burning feet, To you and to the mercy-seat!
The ages crumble down like dust, Dark roses, deviously thrust And scattered in sweet wine -- but I, I shall lift up to you my cry, And kiss your wet lips presently Beneath the ever-living Tree.
This in my heart I keep for goad!
Somewhere, in Heaven she walks that road.
Somewhere... in Heaven... she walks... that... road....
Campus Sonnets:
1. Before an Examination
The little letters dance across the page, Flaunt and retire, and trick the tired eyes; Sick of the strain, the glaring light, I rise Yawning and stretching, full of empty rage At the dull maunderings of a long dead sage, Fling up the windows, fling aside his lies; Choosing to breathe, not stifle and be wise, And let the air pour in upon my cage.
The breeze blows cool and there are stars and stars Beyond the dark, soft ma.s.ses of the elms That whisper things in windy tones and light.
They seem to wheel for dim, celestial wars; And I -- I hear the clash of silver helms Ring icy-clear from the far deeps of night.
2. Talk
Tobacco smoke drifts up to the dim ceiling From half a dozen pipes and cigarettes, Curling in endless shapes, in blue rings wheeling, As formless as our talk. Phil, drawling, bets Cornell will win the relay in a walk, While Bob and Mac discuss the Giants" chances; Deep in a morris-chair, Bill scowls at "Falk", John gives large views about the last few dances.
And so it goes -- an idle speech and aimless, A few chance phrases; yet I see behind The empty words the gleam of a beauty tameless, Friendship and peace and fire to strike men blind, Till the whole world seems small and bright to hold -- Of all our youth this hour is pure gold.
3. May Morning
I lie stretched out upon the window-seat And doze, and read a page or two, and doze, And feel the air like water on me close, Great waves of sunny air that lip and beat With a small noise, monotonous and sweet, Against the window -- and the scent of cool, Frail flowers by some brown and dew-drenched pool Possesses me from drowsy head to feet.
This is the time of all-sufficing laughter At idiotic things some one has done, And there is neither past nor vague hereafter.
And all your body stretches in the sun And drinks the light in like a liquid thing; Filled with the divine languor of late spring.
4. Return -- 1917
"The College will reopen Sept. --." "Catalogue".
I was just aiming at the jagged hole Torn in the yellow sandbags of their trench, When something threw me sideways with a wrench, And the skies seemed to shrivel like a scroll And disappear... and propped against the bole Of a big elm I lay, and watched the clouds Float through the blue, deep sky in speckless crowds, And I was clean again, and young, and whole.
Lord, what a dream that was! And what a doze Waiting for Bill to come along to cla.s.s!
I"ve cut it now -- and he -- Oh, h.e.l.lo, Fred!
Why, what"s the matter? -- here -- don"t be an a.s.s, Sit down and tell me! -- What do you suppose?
I dreamed I... AM I... wounded? "YOU ARE DEAD."
Alexander VI Dines with the Cardinal of Capua
Next, then, the peac.o.c.k, gilt With all its feathers. Look, what gorgeous dyes Flow in the eyes!
And how deep, l.u.s.trous greens are splashed and spilt Along the back, that like a sea-wave"s crest Scatters soft beauty o"er th" emblazoned breast!
A strange fowl! But most fit For feasts like this, whereby I honor one Pure as the sun!
Yet glowing with the fiery zeal of it!
Some wine? Your goblet"s empty? Let it foam!
It is not often that you come to Rome!
You like the Venice gla.s.s?
Rippled with lines that float like women"s curls, Neck like a girl"s, Fierce-glowing as a chalice in the Ma.s.s?