What had she done? She"d come here with the intent of seeing him, just seeing him again. To tell herself that her behavior from last night was a fluke. A strange anomaly.
Then she"d pulled up her skirt, like a street-corner hooker. h.e.l.l, hookers were probably more subtle. But that"s what she had come here for-there was no point denying it. The lack of panties sort of stated that, although she didn"t recall dressing to come here. She didn"t even recall how she got here.
She"d been in her house, resting on her sofa; then, her next memory was greeting Jensen. Something was really wrong with her.
Panic filled her, and she made a strangled noise in her throat.
Immediately, Jensen lifted his head, his gaze searching her face.
"Am I too heavy?" He levered himself off of her before she could answer. Again, his eyes roamed her body as if looking for obvious signs of discomfort. Her hands flew to her skirt, now bunched up under her bottom and back.
Seeing her struggle with the uncooperative clothing, Jensen caught her frantic fingers and tugged her into a sitting position. Then his hands gently caught her waist, and he lifted her to a standing position. He brushed down the material, and then his long, masculine fingers moved to arrange his own clothes. She watched, unable to do otherwise. When he finished, it took her a moment to realize he was aware of her staring.
"I"ve got to say," he said with a crooked grin, "you know how to get a man"s attention."
Elizabeth stared at that lopsided smile, her heart tugging, even as she told herself that it couldn"t be her heart that was making her chest so tight. Then heat burned her cheeks. What must this man think of her? What did she think of herself? Nothing good, that was for sure.
But instead of showing her shame, she offered him a c.o.c.ky smile. "Well, that was the plan."
It had been the plan-it just wasn"t a plan she realized she had until she"d done it. Actually, that wasn"t exactly true.
Hadn"t she just spent most of today thinking about doing just this? But hadn"t she also told herself it wouldn"t happen again? Yet, it had-without her even realizing what she was doing.
That scared her-and that was also dangerous. What if she"d arrived here in her wolf form? What if she"d hurt him? Although she knew she hadn"t shifted to get here, there were side effects to her shifting. An aftermath. And she didn"t feel any of those sensations. But it could have happened. G.o.d, she had to get out of here and never see this guy again.
A sharp pain stabbed again at the area of her heart. Ignore it, d.a.m.n it. The feeling had to be her imagination.
She took a deep breath, trying to dispel the painful tightness. Then she forced another carefree smile in Jensen"s direction, and she waved her fingers, trying to make the action as light and negligent as possible.
"Thanks." The same ending as last night, only this time she wouldn"t be back. She couldn"t see this man again.
She stared toward the living room, remembering the front door was that way. But Jensen caught her hand.
"Wait."
His fingers were strong and warm and made her want to turn back and curl against him. But he couldn"t help her. He couldn"t explain what was happening to her. And all she could offer him was far more strangeness than anyone could handle.
She glanced up at his green eyes, concern making them a shade darker. Even a nice guy like this wouldn"t understand the truth.
"What"s your name?"
More shame filled her. Twice she"d been with this man, and he still had no idea what her name was. She hesitated, thinking maybe that was for the best.
No, she couldn"t bear having him remember her as the sleaze whom he"d met and s.h.a.gged and never saw again.
Oh yeah, and the sleaze named Elizabeth whom he"d met and s.h.a.gged and never saw again was just so, so much better.
Still, she found herself answering him. "Li-Elizabeth."
Now, she really couldn"t say why she gave him the name she hadn"t used much in years. Surely she wanted all of this bad behavior to be Lizzie"s, not Elizabeth"s.
"Hey, Elizabeth," he said with another of those crooked, yet a little c.o.c.ky, smiles. "Do you have a last name, too?"
She hesitated again, then nodded. "Young. Elizabeth Young." Now she"d outright lied. Lizzie Devlin. That"s who she was. But d.a.m.n, she wanted to go back and be the person she"d once been. For this man.
"Well, Elizabeth Young, why don"t you join me for dinner?"
For the first time, Elizabeth realized the kitchen smelled of something delicious. Something more than the musky sweetness of s.e.x. Her stomach growled. For the first time she realized she was starving for something other than carnal pleasures.
She supposed that was a pretty good sign that she was back to normal. Elizabeth had an enormous appet.i.te.
But she shook her head, even as she breathed in the tempting smells again. This time, Jensen"s masculine scent, woodsy and clean, mingled with the food. That, as much as anything, made her say no. She would not have a repeat of what had just happened. She had to leave.
"Come on, you can"t go yet. I"m pretty sure social decorum demands that once you"ve had s.e.x on the kitchen table, you at least have to stay long enough to eat at said table."
Again Jensen smiled in a way that made her chest flutter, and she could almost ignore her embarra.s.sment. Almost.
"I don"t think-"
Jensen tugged her back toward the table, pulling out a chair with his free hand. Then he positioned her in front of it.
"Please. Sit." Another winsome smile.
Against her better judgment, she did sit, perching on the edge of the wooden seat, as if not getting comfortable would make staying okay. Except she knew staying was a very bad idea. She couldn"t afford to actually like this guy. What she"d done with him thus far was unforgivable, as unforgivable as it was unexplainable. And as it was, she felt inexplicably fond of him. And very, very drawn to him.
"I"ve got beef stew simmering," he said, moving to the stove where he"d originally been fiddling with the pot with the lid that was missing the handle. Again, he struggled with the top, finally reaching for a fork to lever it off.
Steam billowed out of the kettle, the smell filling Elizabeth"s nose and making her stomach rumble again.
"I also have fresh bread. And b.u.t.ter." He gave her a look that was designed to tempt her. "Now, how can you pa.s.s that up?"
"I can"t," she finally said. After all, given what they had done, could one meal really hurt? In truth, sitting with this man and not jumping his bones would actually make her feel better, make her feel as if what they"d done wasn"t so strange, so random.
Or, rather whatshe"d done.
Jensen hadn"t pursued her either night. The pursuit had been all hers.
She watched Jensen as he moved around the kitchen. The stretch of his t-shirt across the muscles of his arms and back as he reached into the cupboard to get bowls. The graceful stride of his legs as he walked to the refrigerator and got out a dish of b.u.t.ter. The masculine shape of his hands and wrists as he ladled stew from the pot.
Oh, she definitely understood why she found him attractive. She just didn"t understand why she"d acted the way she had. That had been abnormal to the extreme.
"Do you live around here?" he asked as he leaned over her to set a bowl and spoon in front of her. Elizabeth wasn"t sure which was more appealing-the smell of the thick soup or the scent of Jensen. He returned to the counter, getting a knife out to slice the bread.
"I live pretty close to here," she said vaguely, scooping up a bit of the stew on the tip of her spoon. She sniffed it, then took a taste. Delicious. She spooned up more.
"Pretty close, huh?" he said, glancing toward her as he filled a bowl for himself. "So you can have s.e.x with me, but you can"t tell me where you live?"
Elizabeth paused, a full scoop of stew nearly to her lips. She gave him a sheepish look. "Well, you could be a crazy person."
He chuckled at that. "True enough. I guess a girl can never be too careful. Avoid going off with strangers in their trucks. Avoid being alone in a stranger"s house. That sort of thing."
Elizabeth knew she should have been embarra.s.sed by his words, but he said them with such an endearing grin on his face, she couldn"t help but smile back.
"Exactly."
She took a couple more bites of stew before offering, "I live in Shady Fork."
"Near that bar?" He finished cutting the bread and arranging the pieces on a plate. "What was the place called?"
"Leo"s," she said automatically, and almost added that the bar belonged to her sister-in-law, but she caught herself. It wouldn"t do for him to track her down. After all, this would be the last time they"d see each other.
She glanced at him as he settled on the chair to the left of her. He offered her a piece of bread.
For a second, her heart constricted. By wolf rules, Jensen was acting as a mate should. A male made sure his female ate before he did.
Unless, of course, you were mated to a rogue wolf like she was. Then none of the laws, human or animal, applied.
She didn"t want to think about that. And she certainly didn"t want to think about how much she"d rather be mated to Jensen. That train of thought was pointless. She wasn"t. He was human. And after they shared this meal, she wouldn"t see him again. It was dangerous, both mentally and physically. To both of them. She was out of control and that made hervery dangerous.
"Do you want more?"
She frowned up at him, not understanding the question at first. Then she noticed he was looking at her nearly empty bowl. Heat crept across her cheeks and down her neck. G.o.d, like she needed to add her enormous appet.i.te to the list of objectionable things he knew about her. A s.l.u.t with the appet.i.te of a large land animal. It was a wonder he"d even thought about asking her where she lived-unless he was planning to avoid that location.
"I"m-I"m fine," she said, even though her rumbling belly told her it could easily handle another bowl. And some bread.
"Well, let me get you a little more." He took her bowl and returned to the stove. Again a pang of longing filled her, longing that wasn"t s.e.xual. This was more about the novelty of being with him. About enjoying security and kindness.
Don"t go there,she told herself. It was a fruitless line of thought. In fact, she should just leave now. It was too hard being here. And not because of the embarra.s.sment of her earlier behavior, but because she liked being with Jensen too much.
She liked watching him. She liked the timbre of his voice, deep and smooth. She really liked his smile-c.o.c.ky, but not conceited. Dashing, charming... beautiful.
"You know, I really should pa.s.s on the second helping."
Jensen paused, ladle in hand, his forest eyes roaming her face, trying to understand her.
He might as well not try. She didn"t even understand herself at the moment.
"Don"t leave. I haven"t eaten yet. And I don"t want to eat alone."
Jensen had no idea why he was practically begging this woman to stay-when earlier he"d been hesitant even to allow her in the house. He just knew he wasn"t ready for her to leave. She fascinated him-and it wasn"t just the unorthodox nature of their relationship thus far, although that did merit a lot of contemplation. He just liked her being here. He liked it a lot.
"Come on. Stay."
She glanced in the direction of the back door, looking a bit like a wild animal desperate for escape. But instead of bolting as he thought she would, she gave him just the slightest nod.
He finished filling her bowl and set it in front of her as he retook his seat. Again, she reminded him of a nervous animal as she regarded the second helping of stew, then reached for her spoon.
They ate in silence for a few moments, until she finally said, "This is delicious. You"re a good cook."
"I think it"s a little too salty," he said, frowning down at his bowl. "I tend to be heavy-handed with salt."
When he stopped considering his culinary faux pas, he realized Elizabeth was studying him.
She tilted her head, giving him a speculative look. "You don"t look like the kind of guy who would be staying in on a Sat.u.r.day night, cooking." Jensen chuckled. "What does that guy look like?"
Elizabeth shrugged, a smile pulling at her lush lips. "I don"t know. Not you."
He nodded, then leaned forward and said quietly, "Do I look like the kind of guy who stays in on a Sat.u.r.day night and has s.e.x on the kitchen table?"
He regretted the question as soon as Elizabeth broke eye contact and pink stained her high cheekbones. She fiddled with a piece of the bread, pulling off bits to create a small mound of crumbs.
He didn"t know why that question would embarra.s.s her. The woman who walked in here tonight and raised her skirt didn"t seem like the type to be embarra.s.sed by anything. That woman had been a go-for-what-you-want-and-don"t-take-no-for-an-answer kind of gal. The Elizabeth here with him now seemed almost shy. But he had seen shades of that uncertainty before, hadn"t he?
And maybe a smarter man would have been a little frightened by the two extremes, but Jensen always managed to remain woefully below his potential. He found her fascinating.
"I-I just want you to know that I"ve never acted this way before," she announced suddenly. Her cheeks grew pinker.
"I never have, either," he told her, hoping the admission would make her feel better. Instead her brows drew together in an adorable look of consternation.
"I... " She looked around again, her eyes landing again on the back door. "I really think I should go. Thank you for dinner, and... everything."
"Well, I think I know one thing about you," he said, hoping his announcement would stop her. It did.
She paused at that, giving him a confused look.
"You are always in a rush."
Before he thought better of it, he shifted his chair closer to hers and leaned over the table to catch her chin between his finger and thumb. Then he kissed her. A slow, unhurried kiss. So unlike anything they had shared so far.
She remained still for a moment, then her mouth moved against his, tasting him back. They remained that way, leaning over the table, kissing gently, leisurely. A first kiss. A shy kiss.
Jensen pulled back, blinking at her. An earthshaking kiss.
"I don"t suppose you"d consider going out with me. You know, on an actual date. Not that I haven"t really enjoyed our encounters so far."
She straightened away from him, her retreat pretty telling as to what she thought of that suggestion.
"I don"t think that"s a good idea."
"It seems like a pretty natural idea to me," he pointed out. Why was he even pressing for this? He didn"t want a relationship with anyone outside of Katie. And Katie was gone. Why was he pursuing this woman? The strange woman with the possible morals of an alley cat. A woman who was nothing like Katie.
"Um," she glanced around, looking decidedly trapped. Despite his own train of thought, he was rather offended. He didn"t like the idea of being used for s.e.x. Many men might, he suspected, but he wasn"t one of them, apparently.
But instead of voicing his irritation, he simply let it go, deciding to retreat to safer topics. "So what do you do for work?"
She shifted again. Apparently work wasn"t one of her safer subjects. But she did answer.