Friday. We"d like to see you."
Elizabeth tried to feel excited, but instead she felt dread. She was in no shape to see her brothers.
"Is Rhys coming, too?" G.o.d, she really couldn"t see her oldest brother, the one who"d been her brother,
her father, her champion. She"d failed him the most, and with what had happened over the past two weeks, she had totally failed him. Rhys would never know about Jensen, of course. But she knew. She knew her whole sordid past.
"No. Rhys and Jane are all wrapped up in the adoption."
That statement actually dragged Elizabeth out of her miserable thoughts.
"Adoption?"
"Yes. Can you believe that Jane convinced Rhys that he"d make a great dad?"
"He would be a great dad." He"d been a great dad to her.
"Oh, I agree," Sebastian said readily. "I just didn"t think Jane would ever get him to let go of the whole
"undead with razor-sharp fangs and insatiable blood l.u.s.t" thing. She"s a serious miracle-worker. I just
hope he doesn"t take to wearing cardigans and smoking a pipe."
That image of her handsome older brother did manage to make her smile. A rusty laugh even escaped her lips. "You laugh, but I caught him watchingMister Rogers the other day. He actually TiVoed it." She laughed again, realizing talking to Sebastian was helping. Maybe being alone with her thoughts wasn"t the best idea. Of course, if she left her house she"d been afraid of where she"d end up. She knew where she"d end up. "So what"s bringing you here this weekend?" she asked, stopping her repeated pacing of the kitchen floor. She actually sat down-and didn"t feel the immediate need to stand and move again.
"Mina and I are groupies."
Okay, whatever she"d expected Sebastian to say, that wasn"t it. "What?"
"Groupies. Mina and I are really into this band called The Impalers, and we"ve been going to most of
their shows on the East Coast. I convinced Christian and Jolee to book them at the karaoke bar."
"Really?" She didn"t know why she was surprised. It wasn"t as if Sebastian hadn"t done the same thing
back in the 1800s. He"d loved music then, too. He"d always pushed Rhys to hire this one quartet for their house parties-the first musicians to break their violins at the end of a particularly rousing waltz. "Mina is totally into these guys. I"m actually more than a little jealous. But she"s a wild woman in bed after a show, so I suffer through them." Another burst of laughter escaped Elizabeth. "Okay, I don"t even want to know about that." "TMI?" Sebastian asked with a laugh of his own. Elizabeth frowned for a minute, unsure what the letters stood for-then she pieced it together. "Yes, definitely too much information." But even with that info, Elizabeth realized she would like to see her old friend. Mina-or Wilhelmina, as Elizabeth had known her-had been her roommate, neither of them realizing that while they shared an apartment in Manhattan, Mina was falling for her long-lost brother. She suddenly wanted to see Mina very badly. She didn"t think she"d tell her about the weirdness with Jensen, but it would just be nice to see her friend and maybe feel like she had when they"d lived together. Not obsessed with a man she had to let go.
"Sure," she said, her voice already sounding less scattered to her. "I"d love to see you guys." "Good. See you Friday."
By Friday, Jensen was seriously wondering why he"d decided to ask Melanie out. Jill had called three times. Her calls were guised as vet questions about her two-year-old golden retriever, who apparently kept eating miscellaneous plants and articles of clothing.
But concern for the gluttonous dog always veered toward Melanie"s favorite things, whether it be food, flowers, or wine. Brian had stopped by the office to see how he was-feeling around for info about why he"d asked Melanie out. And even his granddad had gotten wind of the date, and not so subtly left condoms on the back of the upstairs toilet.
He"d done the same thing the night before Jensen had taken Katie to the senior prom. Jensen had thought the gesture was cool that time. He"d also had the opportunity to use two. This time, he left the prophylactics where he"d found them. He wasn"t going to be having s.e.x with Melanie.
Although as he got ready for the date, showering, shaving, finding the appropriate clothes, his gaze kept going back to the box of condoms. He should have had those for his times with Elizabeth.
She said she was on something, but he"d noted a distinct look of discomfort on her part. He wanted to trust her, but something didn"t seem right. Part of him wanted to go back to her house and ask her again, watching her reaction closely. But then another part, the part with the wounded ego, remembered the cold little sticky note. Short and to the point.
He glanced at his reflection in the mirror, making sure his plain blue b.u.t.ton-down shirt looked wrinkle-free and appropriate. Then he headed into his bedroom to get his shoes.
As he sat on the bed and untied his plain black oxfords, he glanced at the picture still on his nightstand. A picture of himself and Katie, right before they headed to New York for him to enter college. He used to look at the photo every day, stopping to consider all that his stupidity and ineptness had cost him. He realized he"d barely noticed the picture in over a week.
He stared at Katie"s cheery smile, her pale blond hair cascading over her shoulders like a halo of pure sunlight. She looked like the girl next door, the wholesome beauty, a woman who was beautiful both inside and out. And she had been, but she"d also hidden a lot of pain behind her sweet smile.
What would she think of what had happened over the past two weeks? Not even two weeks, although oddly he felt like Elizabeth had been part of his life for much longer.
"What would you think, Katie-did?" he asked the smiling image. Then he picked up the frame, staring into her gray-blue eyes as if he would find an answer there.
He stared for a moment longer, then carefully placed it back on his nightstand. He returned to tying his shoes.
Going out with Melanie was the right thing to do. He realized that. She was the type Katie would have picked for him. The type of woman who would want the same things he did. A house, a family, contentment.
Immediately his mind returned to Elizabeth. Wild Elizabeth. She wouldn"t want those things. Even if she was interested in him, theirs was a relationship that was eventually doomed to fail. Then he remembered the hominess of her house. The embroidered wall hangings. The things he wouldn"t have expected to see in her place. But then, there was no saying any of that was Elizabeth"s. And there was no point even speculating on the future. He had none with Elizabeth.
"You"re right," he said to the picture, as if Katie had answered him. "Melanie is the right choice."
The smart choice. The safe choice.
Chapter 12.
"Aren"t they awesome?" Mina said, leaning in toward Elizabeth so she could be heard over the loud Journey cover.
Elizabeth glanced up at the band, all the members obviously immortals of some kind. They were good. But she wasn"t quite sure why Mina and her brother were obsessed with them. Then Sebastian gave Elizabeth an antic.i.p.atory smile, and she remembered what the appeal was.
Apparently her friend had gone from uptight Wilhelmina to wild, rock-and-roll Mina. And apparently the cla.s.sic rock had a particularly aphrodisiacal effect on her.
Again, that was a bit too much information, but that was okay. She had to admit it was nice to see her friend so happy. And so in love.
And Sebastian was so d.a.m.ned smitten, a sight Elizabeth couldn"t have imagined seeing all those years ago. He had been too much of a flirt, and too fickle to settle down with one woman. Now Elizabeth couldn"t see him with anyone but Mina, proof that therewere soul mates out there. In fact, all three of her brothers were proof of that.
Jensen appeared in her mind, but she shoved his memory aside, focusing again on the band on stage. The band was sort of southern rockers meet the undead, and there was no denying the effect they had on the crowd. Everyone was into it. She tried to be, but soon the music faded and she was remembering Jensen.
Maybe because she"d met him here. Or maybe just because she rarely thought of anything else for more than a few minutes at a time. Even though she had noticed that her body didn"t seem to be having that same uncontrollable need for him it had even just two days ago.
Maybe staying away was working. Maybe she"d gotten her crazy l.u.s.t under control. Finally. Again, his beautiful features filled her mind. No, she still wanted him. Very much, but she didn"t feel almost insane with that need. She just wanted him because... she just did.
The band finished the Journey song, and the crowded bar erupted into applause. Elizabeth joined in automatically, and that reminded her of Jensen, too-the way he"d seemed to react to his friend"s singing only because he was expected to.
What had he been thinking about that night? It hadn"t been her-she had committed the moment when he"d noticed her to memory.
Okay, she was doing it again.Stop . Don"t think about him. There was no point.
"Sebastian, would you get me another drink?" Mina asked, smiling sweetly at him.
"I"ve created a rock-and-roll obsessed lush," he grumbled as he stood, even as his twinkling golden eyes showed that he loved everything about his woman.
"So what"s going on?" Mina asked as soon as Sebastian left the table.
"What?"
"You have been a million miles away all night. And you look exhausted."
Elizabeth was surprised Mina had noticed anything aside from the music and Sebastian.
"I"ve been working a lot." That was a lie. She hadn"t done anything with her research for the last few days. She"d just pined for Jensen like a pathetic, heartbroken fool. Which just didn"t make sense. Why did she feel so much for this man?
"You always work too much," Mina said. "This is different."
It was true-when she and Mina had been roommates in New York, she"d always been working, too.
Her research was her primary focus. Her obsession. Now there was only Jensen.
"I guess I"m just getting discouraged." That much was true. Elizabeth had been very discouraged, since
this last formulation of the serum. Since nothing had improved. In fact, the full moon was only a couple days away, and she could feel it coming, just as she had for the last hundred and eighty-eight years.
"Moving here hasn"t helped? I"d hoped it would. I know you like the quiet." Normally she did. But now? Nothing felt right. Part of her wanted to tell Mina that. To share what had happened. But she couldn"t. She didn"t even know how to explain what had happened, especially without it sounding hideously sordid. But maybe if she said her thoughts aloud, it would help her sort them out.
"Wine," Sebastian said from behind them, stopping her train of thought in its tracks. He reached between them to place gla.s.ses of white wine in front of them. No. There was no way she was going to talk about Jensen now. Her brothers would never know about that. She couldn"t bear adding that information to the bit she"d already told them of her past.
"I didn"t ask for this," Elizabeth said, forcing a smile.
"But you look like you could use it," Sebastian answered.
Great. She must look bad if Sebastian could see she was a mess, too. And Sebastian could grill with the
best of them. He"d been the one who"d gotten her to crack about every misdeed she"d done as a child.
Sebastian had a way of lulling a person into revealing secrets. But she wasn"t letting him go there. "So are you friends with the band?" Changing the subject was the best defense.
"You don"t recognize the lead singer?" Sebastian said, giving her an incredulous look.
Elizabeth peered up at the stage. She looked at first one musician, then another, finally taking in all of them. Nope, none of them looked familiar. "No," she finally said. "That"s Renauldo D"Antoni. He played pianoforte at your sixteenth birthday." Elizabeth stared at the men again-none of the faces seemed familiar to her.
"Wait until their break, and I"ll introduce you again," Sebastian said. Elizabeth nodded, feeling oddly dazed. Only in the world of the undead and immortal could you run into someone who played for your birthday in 1898. Even though she, too, had lived that long, moments like this still had the ability to seem surreal. And also remind her that she couldn"t possibly have a normal relationship with Jensen. She could picture it now.
"Jensen, this is So and So. He played for my sixteenth birthday at the turn of the last century."
Yeah. That relationship was so doomed.
She lifted the gla.s.s of wine, suddenly feeling a strong need to drown her sorrows. But as soon as the
wine hit her tongue, she felt a wave of nausea. She wasn"t normally a wine drinker, but she knew
Sebastian had chosen good wine. She supposed it was just another side effect of her stressed body. She sighed, glad that at least Mina and Sebastian were again listening to the band. They played "Summer Of "69" now. G.o.d only knew what that would do to Mina.
She was studying the men again, trying to remember her sixteenth birthday, and which one of the musicians had been there, when the hair on the back of her neck rose. Every nerve-ending in her body snapped to life, every cell aware of the change in the room.
She fought the urge to jerk around in her chair and see who"d come into the bar. There wasn"t much point to, really. She knew who"d come in.
Jensen.
She remained still for a moment longer, then slowly glanced over her shoulder. He strode into the room, a woman walking beside him. The blonde from the first night they"d met.
Jensen had his hand on the small of her back. Elizabeth"s hackles rose, and her teeth ground, but she forced herself to turn away. He wasn"t hers. She"d told him she didn"t want to see him again. He had every right to date. He had every right to move on. She couldn"t be hurt by that.
But she was. She ached at the sight of him touching another woman. She ached as if she was seeing the love of her life, a man she trusted and adored, with someone else. But he"s not the love of your life. You don"t adore him, you don"t know him enough to have any trust in him. He"s a mortal. You are a werewolf. That"s like a bird and a fish falling in love. Or a human and an animal.
She had to let this go. She had to pretend that the sight of him and that woman wasn"t ripping her apart inside. Pretend, then maybe it will be true.
On the drive to Leo"s, Jensen told himself that he was only going there because the waiter at the West Pine Inn had told them that a great band was playing there tonight.