"Okay, done. Now we"ll wait for that to numb up."
She opened her eyes and offered him another feeble smile. "Not too bad, vet."
He smiled at that. He looked around to see Granddad watching from the doorway. He smiled his encouragement, too.
"Okay." Jensen tested the area. "Is it numbed?"
She nodded.
"Okay. He reached for the tweezers. As he got the instrument closer to the wound, he hesitated. Even
with the numbing agent, she was going to feel discomfort, and it killed him to have to cause her any pain.
But if he didn"t, she"d likely get an infection that could literally kill her.
He eased the instrument into the bullet hole, gently probing. Elizabeth made a slight gasp, but remained still. Her hand moved to his leg, her fingers bracing into the denim of his jeans.
"It"s okay. I"ll find it quickly. We"ll get this over with as fast as possible."
He continued to soothe her, telling her she was doing great. That it would be just a few seconds more.
And Elizabeth seemed to listen to him, taking comfort in his rea.s.surances.
Finally he connected with something hard. He allowed the tweezers to open and clamped onto the solid
ma.s.s. Gently he pulled and the item came out easily. He held up the tweezers to find a gray bullet there. Silently, he thanked G.o.d. "That wasn"t so hard," she murmured with another smile. He smiled back. "Well, I had a great patient." Quickly, he packed the wound and bandaged it. Then he got her some pain meds-really designed for dogs and cats, but they would take the edge off her pain.
Once she was bandaged, medicated, and covered in several thick blankets, he left the room briefly just to clean up his instruments and change his own bloodied clothes. Jensen quickly cleaned up, placing his items back in his bag; then he stripped off his soiled clothes to pull on a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. When he got back to Elizabeth she was asleep. Her skin was still pale, but no longer gray. And when he touched her forehead, her skin was cooler. She still had a fever, but it wasn"t raging. He pulled a chair to the edge of the bed and sank down onto it. He had to admit he was exhausted, but there was no way he was leaving her tonight. He didn"t understand what happened out there, but he knew he had to stay with her. If anything, he felt more protective, more possessive of her now than he had before. Even as his mind swirled with confusion, with crazy thoughts that simply couldn"t be real. He leaned forward and rested a hand on her belly, not sure why he needed to touch her there, but he did. And he felt great relief, because he knew she was safe. He"d kept her safe.
Elizabeth opened her eyes and realized her whole body ached as if she"d done an aerobics marathon.
She blinked, not immediately recognizing where she was. Then she saw the football alarm clock and felt the burning itch in her right shoulder. She struggled upright, searching the room for Jensen. As if he knew she was looking for him, he stepped into the room, wearing only a pair of low-slung jeans, toweling off his short, mahogany-brown hair.
"Hey," he smiled, dropping the towel to his side as he saw she was awake.
She smiled. "Hi."
He threw the towel onto a chair, which was already draped with a quilt and a pillow.
"I don"t think you should be up," he said, walking over and touching her forehead. She knew her skin
was cool from the relieved expression on his face.
"I feel okay," she a.s.sured him.
He nodded, c.o.c.king one eyebrow as if to say he knew she had to be lying. But she did feel all right. The
healing wound itched like crazy, and the lead from the bullet made it burn a little, too. But overall, she felt
great. Jensen"s fingers moved to the bandage covering the bullet wound. Carefully, he removed the gauze to inspect it. Surprise creased his brow as he frowned at the injury.
"It looks really good. I... " He gently touched the edge where the skin already looked fully healed. "I can"t believe how good it looks, actually." She imagined that was true. The wound would mostly be gone by tomorrow, and how would she explain that? Maybe she should have made him leave the bullet lodged in her shoulder. Lead really interfered with a werewolf"s healing process. Silver would eventually kill, lead just made a big mess.
"I"ve always been a fast healer," she told him weakly.
"I can see that." He shook his head as he inspected it again, then replaced the gauze. He eased her back
on the pillows. "But I still don"t think you should be up yet."
She smiled, relaxing like a good, obedient patient.
He smiled back, but then the smile disappeared.
"Do you remember last night?"
Some of it. But how did she explain?
"There was a large, black animal out there last night," he said, his voice oddly distant as if he still
couldn"t really believe what he"d seen. She couldn"t blame him. Werewolves were hard to believe.
"You did see it?" he asked.
She shook her head. "No." But she knew what he saw. And he"d seen her as a wolf, too. She knew it
from his dazed look.
She started to sit up. "Elizabeth, I really think you should lay back. You look pale." Again he nudged her down among the pillows. She allowed him to, because she had no idea what else to do. And frankly, she was surprised he would touch her. Oh G.o.d, this couldn"t be happening. Please, please don"t let this be happening. "Elizabeth, I"m going to get you something to drink. And maybe some food. You"ve got to be hungry." For the first time since she could remember, she couldn"t imagine being able to swallow a bite. But apparently Jensen took her dazed stare as consent, because he tucked the blankets around her, then left the room with the promise of something delicious. She watched him go, unable to grasp what she knew was the truth. He"d seen her. He"d seen Brody.
And somehow he"d survived. That much she was thankful-G.o.d,more than thankful-for. She closed her eyes, swallowing back wave after wave of nausea. Even if he could accept the truth, how could she throw him into the middle of this? Brody wouldn"t stop.
Not for long. She pulled a breath in slowly through her nose, then blew the air out from between her lips. She did it again, and again. All she needed was to hyperventilate on him. He was the one who deserved to be overwhelmed. It was... one day until the full moon. She had to tell him before then. He had to be prepared. He was going to hate her, but he had to know the truth. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the picture frame containing Jensen and the blonde, still facedown where it had been. She picked it up, staring at the pretty face of the blonde. Her straightforward smile and clear blue eyes. She"d never have hurt Jensen. She"d have been the perfect mate-wifefor him. She"d been exactly what she"d appeared to be. A nice, sweet girl who loved Jensen. "Her name was Katie." Elizabeth"s head snapped up. Jensen stood in the doorway with a huge plate loaded with toast and eggs and bacon and sliced fruit.
When she just gaped at him, he seemed to think her shocked look was somehow related to the large quant.i.ty of food. "Granddad is feeling a little guilt, so he had this waiting to go for when you woke up." She nodded, having no idea what to say to him. Tears choked her, but she managed to hold them back.
Jensen crossed to the bed and set the tray on her lap. She glanced at it, but then her gaze returned to him.
G.o.d, what did she say?
Jensen pulled up the chair, his expression one of heartbreaking understanding. An expression she so didn"t deserve.
"I"m so sorry I hurt you yesterday."
Elizabeth frowned, then shook her head. What could he possibly be apologizing for? She was the one who needed to apologize. She was the one who"d deceived him. Put him in terrible danger.
"I didn"t want to tell you about Katie, but probably not for the reasons you think. In fact, definitely not for the reasons you think."
She stared at him. Had it only been yesterday that they"d talked about Katie? Now, that seemed like ages ago, and she felt like she had even less right to know about it.
If anything, she wished Katie was still alive and that Jensen was with her now. Far from here, happy and safe.
"Katie and I were high-school sweethearts," he said slowly. "We started dating our soph.o.m.ore year. We left together after high school so I could attend Cornell. You saw in the picture. Katie didn"t have money for college, so she took cla.s.ses and we planned she"d go full-time once I finished. We were... we were serious. Engaged."
Even though she couldn"t put Jensen"s fate out of her mind, Elizabeth had to listen. She did want to know. She loved Jensen, she wanted to understand everything about him. Even though she knew that he would soon hate her.
"Katie had a rough home life. Raised by a single mother, who wasn"t the best parent, she couldn"t wait to leave West Pines behind. She craved a new life. So, after my second year of college, she was not pleased when I told her that I thought I"d like to move back here and take over my granddad"s practice." He shook his head as he remembered, obviously disgusted with his behavior.
"But I was determined to do just that. She overheard me talking about my plan with some friends at a campus party. She was angry, because she felt like I"d betrayed her in a way. I was her escape route-she didn"t want to come back here. I knew that, yet I wanted what I wanted. We argued."
Dread filled Elizabeth again. She knew this story didn"t have a happy ending, and she didn"t want him to have to live it again. She started to reach for him, but he stopped her.
"Please let me tell you."
She still wanted to say no. She didn"t deserve to know. Not when she hadn"t told him so many truths about herself. But instead of stopping him, she nodded.
"I left the party to cool down, which I did. I don"t think I"d changed my mind, but I was calmer. So I decided to head back to the party to talk to Katie.
"As I approached the party, I saw a car off the road. The front end was crushed, wrapped around a tree. I pulled over and ran to the car."
He shook his head again, his eyes distant like he was back there on that roadside.
"I couldn"t believe it when I got to the driver"s side and saw Katie there in the driver"s seat. She was pinned, the engine block pushed back and crushing her legs."
This time Elizabeth did touch him, gripping his hand. Feeling sick for him. For that memory that had to be burned forever into his brain.
He squeezed her fingers back, then continued, "I couldn"t get her out. And I knew from the color of her skin, she didn"t have long. She was totally gray. I remember that. And I remember I just kept chanting, "I"m sorry. Oh, I"m sorry," over and over again. But she never heard my apology. She never revived, and I could do nothing but hold her through the shattered window."
"Oh, Jensen," Elizabeth leaned forward and touched his face, his hair.
"I knew she"d hated this town. That she wanted nothing more than to leave and never look back. But I let my own dreams destroy hers."
"It isn"t your fault," Elizabeth a.s.sured him. "It was an accident."
"I shouldn"t have been so selfish."
His words. .h.i.t her, reflecting her own feelings.
"You weren"t being selfish. You wanted something different. It could have been talked through, worked out. She was the one who chose to drive while she was upset. You can"t take that burden." Elizabeth caught his face between her hands, forcing him to look at her. "I can"t tell you why it happened. But I know it wasn"t your fault. We all make mistakes, but the accident was not your fault."
He stared into her eyes, then he kissed her. All his pain, all his guilt and regret in his harsh kiss. And she let him take his anguish out on her, feeling terrible anguish of her own.
Finally, his mouth gentled and he caressed her ravaged lips with so much tenderness that her eyes welled with tears. When he tasted the saltiness, he pulled back.
"Elizabeth?" His eyes roamed her face, trying to understand her tears.
She again held his face so she could look in his eyes.
"You mustn"t believe it was your fault. Please do that for me. You are too good and kind to carry that kind of guilt any longer. And Katie knew that. Why do you think she was in love with you? She knew. She did."
Chapter 22.
Jensen wasn"t sure of that, but when he looked in Elizabeth"s beautiful eyes, he wanted to believe it. For her as much as for Katie, he wanted to believe.
He nodded slightly, and she pressed her lips softly to his, a whispering, sweet kiss.
When they parted, they just stared at each other, both of them visibly shaken. But even as painful as it had been for him to tell her about Katie, he did feel somehow purged. Elizabeth now knew him. She understood.
And he wanted to know her. Whatever she was hiding, and he knew she was hiding something. She had been from the moment they met.
He offered her a weak smile. "You are squishing your food." He gestured to the tray she still had on her lap. They"d gotten b.u.t.ter from the toast and a bit of egg on the sheets, but overall the meal still looked edible.
"You try and eat," he told her. "I"m going to go down and get a cup of coffee." He needed a moment to gather himself after that. And to figure out how to get her to talk in the same candid way.
He looked at Elizabeth, also realizing half the reason he was so shaken was because he loved her. He loved her madly. He needed a moment to deal with exactly how much.
"Do you want some?"
Elizabeth shook her head.
"I"ll be right back."