He touches my knee with the edge of his whisky gla.s.s. I shiver but drag it away.
" you with your intelligent eyes, eyes which you turn on me with cold indifference, are undoubtedly the most attractive woman here."
He touches my knee again and I don"t move it.
"But you are different. Because, while being undoubtedly the most attractive woman here, you are also the most un.o.btainable. You see, I never dip my pen in the company ink, and besides which you"re married."Yet habit compels him to add, "I"ve slept with ninety-nine women how do you fancy being the hundredth?"
"Does that line ever work?"I ask, laughing at his audacity despite myself.
"Ninety-nine times, to my certain knowledge."
"You"re pathetic."
"But it doesn"t worry you."
He is right. I fancy him so much I think I"m going to be sick. I fancy him so much I think I must be sick. He leans toward me. I"m so very close to his mouth I can taste, on the air that he expounds, beer and cigarettes, an intoxicating perfume.
"You fascinate me, Sweetie, you are f.u.c.king fascinating."
I bristle with the excitement, have I ever fascinated my husband?
"You are so b.l.o.o.d.y c.o.c.ky, full of your self. I like that in a girl."
He adjusts his trousers, fighting his erection.
"I like your calmness of manner. It disarms me slightly that you are so confident. But, fair play to you, I admit, your a.s.sessment of your attractiveness is in no way over-ambitious. You are a very beautiful woman. You"re also very clever, more intuitive than intellectual, and to tell the truth I rate the latter higher than the former, but neither should be ignored."Without giving me time to be offended, he continues, "You are dead amusing. You really must be, because I"ve laughed all night and I can"t imagine that it is all motivated by my desire to flatter you."
I nod, momentarily too hoa.r.s.e with desire to answer. I sip some water.
"But we agreed I am unavailable."
He smiles. "Yes. Having said that, it seems odd to me that earlier, when I smiled and nodded to you, you returned with a smashing smile. It seemed to me that your eyes, well" he shrugs "I"m experienced enough to know that your indifference is feigned. I think you are quite capable of myopic and hedonistic f.u.c.king; your brazen frivolity is obvious."
"I"m married,"I insist.
"You mentioned that."
"Blissfully so."
He grins. "How long?"
"Nine months."
"Nine months and you are behaving like this?"
For a second I despise his smugness.
"We"ve been together for four years."
He raises his eyebrows as if he"s heard it all before. I"m furious with myself for trying to justify my actions.
"I"ve never looked at another man in all that time "
"Until now."He finishes my sentence with appalling accuracy. "Can I get you another drink?"
I hesitate.
"Go on, a quick one,"he coaxes. He stands up and makes towards the bar. I look at the gold and diamonds on my left hand and throw out a final, desperate clasp at respectability.
"It"s OK our flirting like this, as I really am happily married and it can"t go anywhere. I will never, ever have an affair. I will never, ever have s.e.x with anyone other than my husband."
I spell it out plainly before he gets the wrong idea, before I get the wrong idea! But just as I settle into smug self-righteousness, I hear myself add, "But if I"m wrong and if ever I were to have an affair, it would be with you."
"Yesssssssss."He punches the air and practically skips to the bar.
Nooooooooooooo. I sit alone in the crowd, horrified with myself. As soon as his back is turned, I run to my room. I close the bedroom door behind me and lean heavily on it, shaking. I kick off my Gucci steel-heeled shoes, slowly undress and climb into bed.
"s.h.i.t. That was close, too close."Angrily I punch the pillows and make a feather husband. Curling tight into the effigy I vow to spend the rest of the conference arduously avoiding him.
By the same author.
Playing Away.
Game Over.
Larger Than Life.
The Other Woman"s Shoes.
Still Thinking of You.
Husbands.