"A teenage boy boy moron," I suggested. moron," I suggested.
"Apparently," Gretchen said. "See-what"s your name?"
"What?" the guy said again.
"Your name, name," Gretchen said. "What your mother and father will call you, angrily, angrily, once you"ve gotten them kicked off the ship." once you"ve gotten them kicked off the ship."
The guy looked around at his friends. "Magdy," he said, and then opened his mouth as if to say something.
"Well, see, Magdy, I have faith faith in humanity, even the teenage male part of it," Gretchen said, plowing through whatever it was that our Magdy might have had to say. "I believed that not even teenage boys would be dumb enough to give Captain Zane an excuse to kick a bunch of them off the ship while he still could. Once we"re under way, the worst he could do is put you in the brig. But right now he could have the crew drop you and your family at the loading bay. Then you could watch the rest of us wave good-bye. Surely, I said, no one could be that in humanity, even the teenage male part of it," Gretchen said, plowing through whatever it was that our Magdy might have had to say. "I believed that not even teenage boys would be dumb enough to give Captain Zane an excuse to kick a bunch of them off the ship while he still could. Once we"re under way, the worst he could do is put you in the brig. But right now he could have the crew drop you and your family at the loading bay. Then you could watch the rest of us wave good-bye. Surely, I said, no one could be that incredibly dense. incredibly dense. But my friend Zoe disagreed. What did you say, Zoe?" But my friend Zoe disagreed. What did you say, Zoe?"
"I said that teenage boys can"t think beyond or without their newly dropped t.e.s.t.i.c.l.es," I said, staring at the boy who had been trying to talk sense into his pal. "Also, they smell funny."
The boy grinned. He knew what we were up to. I didn"t grin back; I didn"t want to mess with Gretchen"s play.
"And I was so convinced that I was right and she was wrong that I actually made a bet," Gretchen said. "I bet every single dessert I"d get here on the Magellan Magellan that no one would be that stupid. That"s a serious bet." that no one would be that stupid. That"s a serious bet."
"She loves her dessert," I said.
"It"s true, I do," Gretchen said.
"She"s a dessert fiend, fiend," I said.
"And now you are going to make me lose lose all my desserts," Gretchen said, poking Magdy in the chest. "This is not acceptable." all my desserts," Gretchen said, poking Magdy in the chest. "This is not acceptable."
There was a snerk from the boy Magdy had been facing off with. Gretchen wheeled on him; the boy actually flinched backward. "I don"t know why you you think this is funny," Gretchen said. "Your family would have been thrown off the ship just like his." think this is funny," Gretchen said. "Your family would have been thrown off the ship just like his."
"He started it," the boy said.
Gretchen blinked, dramatically. ""He started it"? Zoe, tell me I heard that wrong."
"You didn"t," I said. "He really said it."
"It doesn"t seem possible that anyone over the age of five five would be using that as a rationale for would be using that as a rationale for anything, anything," Gretchen said, examining the boy critically.
"Where"s your faith in humanity now now?" I asked.
"I"m losing it," Gretchen said.
"Along with all your desserts," I said.
"Let me guess," Gretchen said, and waved generally at the clot of boys in front of her. "You"re all from the same planet." She turned and looked at the other boy clot. "And you"re all from another planet." The boys shifted uncomfortably; she had gotten their number. "And so the first thing you do is you start picking fights because of where you used used to live." to live."
"Because that"s the smart smart thing to do with people you"re going to spend the rest of your life living with," I said. thing to do with people you"re going to spend the rest of your life living with," I said.
"I don"t remember that being in the new colonist orientation material," Gretchen said.
"Funny about that," I said.
"Indeed," Gretchen said, and stopped talking.
There was silence for several seconds.
"Well?" Gretchen said.
"What?" Magdy said. It was his favorite word.
"Are you going to fight now or what?" Gretchen said. "If I"m going to lose my bet, now"s as good a time as any."
"She"s right," I said. "It"s almost lunchtime. Dessert is calling."
"So either get on with it or break it up," Gretchen said. She stepped back.
The boys, suddenly aware that whatever it was they were fighting about had been effectively reduced to whether or not some girl would get a cupcake, dispersed, each clot headed pointedly in a separate direction from the other. The sane boy glanced back at me as he walked off with his friends.
"That was fun," Gretchen said. was fun," Gretchen said.
"Yeah, until they all decide to do it again," I said. "We can"t use the dessert humiliation trick every time. And there are colonists from ten separate worlds. That"s a hundred different possible idiotic teenage boy fight situations."
"Well, the colonists from Kyoto are Colonial Mennonites," Gretchen said. "They"re pacifists. So it"s only eighty-one possible idiotic teenage boy fight combinations."
"And yet still only only two of us," I said. "I don"t like the odds. And how did you know about the Kyoto folks, anyway?" two of us," I said. "I don"t like the odds. And how did you know about the Kyoto folks, anyway?"
"When my father was still thinking he"d be running the colony, he made me read the reports on all the colonists and their original planets," Gretchen said. "He said I was going to be his aide-de-camp aide-de-camp. Because, you know, that"s really what I would have wanted to do do with my time." with my time."
"Comes in handy, though," I said.
Gretchen pulled out her PDA, which was buzzing, and looked at the screen. "Speaking of which," she said, and showed me the screen. "Looks like Dad"s calling."
"Go be aide de camp-y," I said.
Gretchen rolled her eyes. "Thanks. Want to get together for the departure? And then we can go have lunch. You"ll have lost the bet by then. I"ll get your dessert."
"Touch my dessert and you will die in horrible ways," I said. Gretchen laughed and left.
I pulled out my own PDA to see if there were messages from John or Jane; there was one from Jane telling me that Hickory and d.i.c.kory were looking for me about something. Well, they knew I was...o...b..ard, and they also knew how to reach me by PDA; it"s not like I went anywhere without it. I thought about giving them a call but I figured they would find me sooner or later. I put the PDA away and looked up to find the sane boy standing in front of me.
"Hi," he said.
"Uh," I said, a testament to my smoothness.
"Sorry, I didn"t mean to sneak up on you like that," he said.
"It"s okay," I said, only a little fl.u.s.tered.
He stuck out his hand. "Enzo," he said. "And you"re Zoe, I guess."
"I am," I said, taking his hand and shaking it.
"Hi," he said.
"Hi," I said.
"Hi," he said, and then seemed to realize he was back where he started. I smiled.
And then there was about, oh, 47 million seconds 47 million seconds of awkward silence. It was only actually a second or two, but as Einstein could tell you, some events have a way of stretching out. of awkward silence. It was only actually a second or two, but as Einstein could tell you, some events have a way of stretching out.
"Thanks for that," Enzo said, finally. "For stopping the fight, I mean."
"You"re welcome," I said. "I"m glad you didn"t mind we stepped in on what you were doing."
"Well, I wasn"t doing a great job of it anyway," Enzo said. "Once Magdy gets himself worked up, it"s hard to get him to back down."
"What was that all about anyway?" I asked.
"It"s kind of stupid," Enzo said.
"That I know," I said, and then wondered if Enzo would take it the wrong way. He smiled. Score one for Enzo. "I mean what caused it." I know," I said, and then wondered if Enzo would take it the wrong way. He smiled. Score one for Enzo. "I mean what caused it."
"Magdy"s pretty sarcastic, and he"s also pretty loud," Enzo said. "He made some snide remark about what those other guys were wearing as they pa.s.sed by. One of them got upset and they got into it."
"So you guys nearly had a brawl over fashion," I said.
"I told you it was stupid," Enzo said. "But you know how it is. You get worked up, it"s kind of hard to think rationally."
"But you you were thinking rationally," I said. were thinking rationally," I said.
"That"s my job," Enzo said. "Magdy gets us into trouble, I get us out of it."
"So you"ve known each other for a while," I said.
"He"s been my best friend since we were little," Enzo said. "He"s really not a jerk, honest. He just sometimes doesn"t think about what he"s doing."
"You look out for him," I said.
"It goes both ways," Enzo said. "I"m not much of a fighter. A lot of kids we knew would have taken advantage of that fact if they didn"t know Magdy would have punched them in the head."
"Why aren"t you much of a fighter?" I asked.
"I think you have to like to fight a little," Enzo said. Then he seemed to realize this was challenging his own masculinity a bit, and this would get him kicked out of the teenage male club. "Don"t get me wrong. I can defend myself just fine without Magdy around. We"re just a good team."
"You"re the brains of the outfit," I suggested.
"That"s possible," he allowed, and then seemed to figure out that I"d gotten him to make a whole bunch of statements about himself without getting to find out anything about me. "What about you and your friend? Who is the brains of that outfit?"
"I think Gretchen and I both hold our own pretty well in the brains department," I said.
"That"s a little scary," Enzo said.
"It"s not a bad thing to be a little intimidating," I said.
"Well, you have that down," Enzo said, with just the right amount of offhandedness. I tried very hard not to blush. "So, listen, Zoe-" Enzo began, and then looked over my shoulder. I saw his eyes get very wide.
"Let me guess," I said, to Enzo. "There are two very scary-looking aliens standing directly behind me."
"How did you know?" Enzo said, after a minute.
"Because what you"re doing now is the usual response," I said. I glanced back at Hickory and d.i.c.kory. "Give me a minute," I said to them. They took a step back.
"You know know them?" Enzo said. them?" Enzo said.
"They"re sort of my bodyguards," I said.
"You need bodyguards?" Enzo asked.
"It"s a little complicated," I said.
"Now I know why you and your friend can both work on being the brains of the outfit," Enzo said.
"Don"t worry," I said, and turned to Hickory and d.i.c.kory. "Guys, this is my new friend Enzo. Say h.e.l.lo."
"h.e.l.lo," they said, in their deadly monotone.
"Uh," Enzo said.
"They"re perfectly harmless unless they think you"re a threat to me," I said.
"What happens then?" Enzo asked.
"I"m not really sure," I said. "But I think it would involve you being turned into a large number of very small cubes."
Enzo looked at me for a minute. "Don"t take this the wrong way," he said. "But I"m a little afraid of you right now."
I smiled at this. "Don"t be," I said, and I took his hand, which seemed to surprise him. "I want us to be friends."
There was an interesting play across Enzo"s face: pleasure at the fact I"d taken his hand, and apprehension that if he showed too much pleasure at the fact, he"d be summarily cubed. It was very cute. He was very cute.
As if on cue, Hickory audibly shifted its weight.
I sighed. "I need to talk to Hickory and d.i.c.kory," I said, to Enzo. "Will you excuse me?"
"Sure," Enzo said, and took his hand out of mine.
"Will I see you later?" I asked.
"I hope so," Enzo said, and then got that look that said his brain was telling him he was being too enthusiastic. Shut up, stupid brain. Enthusiasm is a good good thing. He backed off and went away. I watched him go a little. thing. He backed off and went away. I watched him go a little.
Then I turned to Hickory and d.i.c.kory. "This had better be good," I said.