It would be rude to not reply.. And so I did.Message: "The guy I met a few hours ago? I don"t remember giving out my number at any point in the party.. Will you please introduce yourself?"
Message: "Haha. It"s me, Mac. ^^"
Message: "Oh.. I see. h.e.l.lo. :)"
Message: "Haha. Yeah. Hi. So, what"s up? ^^"
Our conversation went on for hours on end.. And I didn"t even realise it until it was already so late in the day that I had to go to sleep. But before the day ended, he asked me if we could meet up the next day. I was curious as to why he wanted to meet me, but I agreed anyway. He gave me a time and place where we"ll meet up, and so I mentally prepared myself for what the day would bring me.
I wish I prepared more because I just got one of the biggest slaps to the face by far.
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He said to meet up at his university at two in the afternoon. I live somewhere near, so it"s not a problem for me. I purposely went out early because I don"t like making people wait. Plus it was a good excuse to get out of the house and get some air anyway.
I pick a spot somewhere in the university and started reading a book that has been in my closet for the longest time. It was a nice feeling, finally getting some alone time out of the house. Away from the people in there. I waited for at least forty-five minutes before we met up, no big deal. I was just about to finish my book anyway. He called me up and asked where I was. I jokingly told him to look for me, and he laughed at that. Huh. Good sense of humor. I eventually told him where I"m at, and he couldn"t, for the life of me, find me still. Even if I told him a few times before where I was near. When he finally did see me, it was because I saw him first. Oh.. He has a car.
"Hey." He greeted me with a smile.
"Hi." I replied shyly.
He opened the car door for me. Uh, okay? What"s up with that? He hopped on the driver"s seat and asked me where were headed.
"You asked to meet me, I thought you had a place in mind." I said.
"Well, is there anywhere in particular that you"d like to go to?"
"Not exactly. I was thinking that we"d just hang out somewhere or something.."
"Then we"ll just go drive around and see where the road will take us." He said, so carefree. How can someone be so carefree..
We drove around for a few minutes before finally deciding to settle on this cafe somewhere near my university this time. We study near each other, so we basically know the area a lot.
There were barely any people in the cafe, probably because it was a Monday, and it was only a little after lunch. Some people still have cla.s.ses, like him, and some are at work. Either way, I thought that it was a nice day because there are less people to see around everywhere.
He made me order something, and since we were already there, I thought of getting something that I could afford.. And so I ordered a small cake.. Plus it was something that I liked, so it was okay to spend for at least that much.
When my cake arrived, we began talking again. It was an interesting talk, really. I got to know him a little better. But in the middle of the talk, when I checked my phone, I received a message from someone that I used to call a "close friend and sibling". Well that threw me off.. It made the whole environment for both Mac and I awkward. He saw through my very obvious distressed look and asked what was wrong. I just told him that it was nothing and that I"d get over it soon.
He let it go, asked for the bill and we headed out. The message still bothered me, but I told myself to not think about it while I was with someone. I would cry when I get home.. He said he"ll meet me in the parking lot, so I went ahead. He gave me his keys and I took the elevator down. As soon as I got out, I saw him running down the fire exit.
"Huh, we got here at the same time." He said with a smile. Clearly trying to make things less awkward.
I started to tear up, and couldn"t hold them any longer and just let them slide down my cheeks. He was silent the whole time, and I kept apologising for looking so stupid. Suddenly crying and all. He just shook his head and said that there was nothing to apologise for. I suddenly laughed and forgot about what I was crying about. Oh wow. I haven"t felt like this in what seemed like ages.
We chatted for a little while longer, when an employee told us that we weren"t allowed to stay in the parking garage for too long. So we left. Chatting away as we were driving to some other place where we could still spend time together. I"m actually enjoying myself. This is something new. Something real. Something.. Wrong..
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"Hey, uhm, sorry to cut this day short, but I have things that I have to do later." He told me as we were walking back to where he parked his car.
"Oh no worries. I was about to go home anyway." I replied. I really did need to get home.
"Let me take you to the station then."
"No, no. It"s okay. I can walk. I live on the other side."
"I insist."
"Please, it"s okay." I pressed further. He didn"t reply for a few moments, and I thought that I made him mad, so I just told him that I"d be going on ahead.
"Okay, you wanna know why I asked you to see me today?" That made me stop in my tracks. We were out in the open where people can see us talking in the middle of what is supposed to be a sidewalk.
I just turned to look at him, surprised that he was still there.
"I have a girlfriend. That"s why I wanted to meet up, to tell you that." He said in a straight face. I was dumbfounded. A girlfriend huh. You kissed a complete stranger, but you have a girlfriend.. After a few moments of silence, he smiled and said, "Well, that"s all I wanted to say. Come on, I"ll take you to the station." He held out a hand as he said those last words. I was in complete and utter shock..
So what did I do? Turned and walked away. I didn"t want to have to deal with this, not right now. I didn"t even bother checking if he was following me or not, which he won"t. I mean seriously, he has a girlfriend. It"s not something guys in relationships do to people they just met the other night.
I went home thinking about how stupid I"ve been for letting myself get affected by things like those. And it was on the way home did I realise that this, all of this, will always, always just be something to pa.s.s the time. That it would only be something that I would get to experience in a very short period of time.
There"s no need for attachments. To tell someone a lot about myself. They would only forget after a few hours. It doesn"t interest them because they, too, know that it won"t be more than just a one night of getting to know. After that, everything will just vanish and it will be as if nothing happened. As if you never existed in their life. And so maybe I"d have to learn how to face these situations. To learn how to guard my heart more and be careful about the things that I do in order to keep myself sane. Safe. And maybe even happy.. Because it will always, always just be a fleeting moment.