CHAPTER x.x.xIII
A DOUBTFUL BATTLE IN PROSPECT
The painful impression made by the evening service that has been described acted as a rude disenchantment, and the beautiful church, to which Mrs. Arnot had returned every Sabbath morning with increasing pleasure, became as repulsive as it had been sacred and attractive. To her sincere and earnest spirit anything in the nature of a sham was peculiarly offensive; and what, she often asked herself, could be more un-Christlike than this service which had been held in his name?
The revelation so astonished and disheartened her that she was p.r.o.ne to believe that there was something exceptional in that miserable Sabbath evening"s experience, and she determined to observe further and more closely before taking any action. She spoke frankly of her feelings and purposes to Haldane, and in so doing benefited the young man very much; for he was thus led to draw a sharp line between Christ and the Christlike and that phase of Christianity which is largely leavened with this world. No excuse was given him to jumble the true and the false together.
"You will do me a favor if you will quietly enter the church next Sunday morning and evening, and un.o.btrusively take one of the seats near the door," she said to him. "I wish to bring this matter to an issue as soon as possible. If you could manage to enter a little in advance of me, I would also be glad. I know how Christ received sinners, and I would like to see how we who profess to be representing him, receive those who come to his house."
Haldane did as she requested. In a quiet and perfectly un.o.btrusive manner he walked up the granite steps into the vestibule, and his coa.r.s.e, gray suit, although scrupulously clean, was conspicuous in its contrast with the elegant attire of the other worshippers. He himself was conspicuous also; for many knew who he was, and whispered the information to others. A "jail-bird" was, indeed, a _rara avis_ in that congregation, and there was a slight, but perfectly decorous, sensation. However greatly these elegant people might lack the spirit of Him who was "the friend of publicans and sinners" they would not for the world do anything that was overtly rude or ill-bred. Only the official s.e.xton frowned visibly as the youth took a seat near the door. Others looked askance or glided past like polished icicles. Haldane"s teeth almost chattered with the cold. He felt himself oppressed, and almost pushed out of the house, by the moral atmosphere created by the repellent thoughts of some who apparently felt the place defiled by his presence. Mrs. Arnot, with her keen intuition, felt this atmosphere also, and detected on the part of one or two of the officers of the Church an unchristian spirit. Although the sermon was an excellent one that morning, she did not hear it.
In the evening a lady draped in a black veil sat by Haldane. The service was but a dreary counterpart of the one of the previous Sabbath. The sky had been overcast and slightly threatening, and still fewer worshippers had ventured out.
Beyond furtive and curious glances no one noticed them save the s.e.xton, who looked and acted as if Haldane"s continued coming was a nuisance, which, in some way, he must manage to abate.
The young man waited for Mrs. Arnot at her carriage-door, and said as he handed her in:
"I have kept my word; but please do not ask me to come to this church again, or I shall turn infidel."
"I shall not come myself again," she replied, "unless there is a decided change."
The next morning she wrote notes to two of the leading officers of the church, asking them to call that evening; and her request was so urgent that they both came at the appointed hour.
Mrs. Arnot"s quiet but clear and distinct statement of the evils of which she had become conscious greatly surprised and annoyed them. They, with their a.s.sociates, had been given credit for organizing and "running" the most fashionable and prosperous church in town. An elegant structure had been built and paid for, and such a character given the congregation that if strangers visited or were about to take up their abode in the city they were made to feel that the door of this church led to social position and the most aristocratic circles. Of course, mistakes were made. People sometimes elbowed their way in who were evidently flaunting weeds among the patrician flowers, and occasionally plain, honest, but somewhat obtuse souls would come as to a Christian church. But people who were "not desirable"--the meaning of this phrase had become well understood in Hillaton--were generally frozen out by an atmosphere made so chilly, even in August, that they were glad to escape to other a.s.sociations less benumbing. Indeed, it was now so generally recognized that only those of the best and most a.s.sured social position were "desirable," that few others ventured up the granite steps or sought admittance to this region of sacred respectability. And yet all this had been brought about so gradually, and so entirely within the laws of good breeding and ecclesiastical usage, and also under the most orthodox preaching, that no one could lay his finger on anything upon which to raise an issue.
The result was just what these officers had been working for, and it was vexatious indeed that, after years of successful manipulation, a lady of Mrs. Arnot"s position should threaten to make trouble.
"My dear Mrs. Arnot," said one of these polished gentlemen, with a suavity that was designed to conciliate, but which was nevertheless tinged with philosophical dogmatism, "there are certain things that will not mix, and the attempt to mingle them is wasting time on the impossible. It is in accordance with the laws of nature that each cla.s.s should draw together according to their affinities and social status.
Our church is now entirely h.o.m.ogeneous, and everything moves forward without any friction."
"It appears to me sadly machine-like," the lady remarked.
"Indeed, madam," with a trace of offended dignity, "is not the Gospel ably preached?"
"Yes, but it is not obeyed. We have been made h.o.m.ogeneous solely on worldly principles, and not on those taught in the Gospels."
They could not agree, as might have been supposed, and Mrs. Arnot was thought to be unreasonable and full of impracticable theories.
"Very well, gentlemen," said Mrs. Arnot, with some warmth, "if there can be no change in these respects, no other course is left for me but to withdraw;" and the religious politicians bowed themselves out, much relieved, feeling that this was the easiest solution of the question.
Mrs. Arnot soon after wrote to the Rev. Dr. Barstow, pastor of the church, for a letter of dismission. The good man was much surprised by the contents of this missive. Indeed, it so completely broke a chain of deep theological speculation that he deserted his study for the street.
Here he met an officer of the church, a man somewhat advanced in years, whom he had come to regard as rather reserved and taciturn in disposition. But in his perplexity he exhibited Mrs. Arnot"s letter, and asked an explanation.
"Well," said the gentleman, uneasily, "I understand that Mrs. Arnot is dissatisfied, and perhaps she has some reason to be."
"Upon what grounds?" asked the clergyman hastily.
"Suppose we call upon her," was the reply. "I would rather you should hear her reasons from herself; and, in fact, I would be glad to hear them also."
Half an hour later they sat in Mrs. Arnot"s parlor.
"My dear madam," said Dr. Barstow, "are you willing to tell us frankly what has led to the request contained in this letter? I hope that I am in no way to blame."
"Perhaps we have all been somewhat to blame," replied Mrs. Arnot in a tone so gentle and quiet as to prove that she was under the influence of no unkindly feeling or resentment; "at least I feel that I have been much to blame for not seeing what is now but too plain. But habit and custom deaden our perceptions. The aspect of our church was that of good society--nothing to jar upon or offend the most critical taste. Your sermons were deeply thoughtful and profound, and I both enjoyed and was benefited by them. I came and went wrapped up in my own spiritual life and absorbed in my own plans and work, when, unexpectedly, an incident occurred which revealed to me what I fear is the _animus_ and character of our church organization. I can best tell you what I mean by relating my experience and that of a young man whom I have every reason to believe wishes to lead a better life, yes, even a Christian life;"
and she graphically portrayed all that had occurred, and the impressions made upon her by the atmosphere she had found prevalent, when she placed herself in the att.i.tude of a humble stranger.
"And now," she said in conclusion, "do we represent Christ, or are we so leavened by the world that it may be doubted whether he would acknowledge us?"
The minister shaded his pained and troubled face with his hand.
"We represent the world," said the church officer emphatically; "I have had a miserable consciousness of whither we were drifting for a long time, but everything has come about so gradually and so properly, as it were, that I could find no one thing upon which I could lay my finger and say, This is wrong and I protest against it. Of course, if I had heard the s.e.xton make such a remark to any one seeking to enter the house of G.o.d as was made to the young man you mention I should have interfered. And yet the question is one of great difficulty. Can such diverse cla.s.ses meet on common ground?"
"My dear sir," said Mrs. Arnot earnestly, "I do not think we, as a church, are called upon to adjust these diverse cla.s.ses, and to settle, on the Sabbath, nice social distinctions. The Head of the Church said, "Whosoever will, let him come." We, pretending to act in his name and by his authority, say, "Whosoever is sufficiently respectable and well-dressed, let him come." I feel that I cannot any longer be a party to this perversion.
"If we would preserve our right to be known as a Christian church we must say to all, to the poor, to the most sinful and debased, as well as to those who are now welcomed, "Come"; and when they are within our walls they should be made to feel that the house does not belong to an aristocratic clique, but rather to him who was the friend of publicans and sinners. Christ adjusted himself to the diverse cla.s.ses. Are we his superiors?"
"But, my dear madam, are there to be no social distinctions?"
"I am not speaking of social distinctions. Birth, culture, and wealth will always, and very properly, too, make great differences. In inviting people to our homes we may largely consult our own tastes and preferences, and neither good sense nor Christian duty requires that there should be intimacy between those unfitted for it by education and character. But a church is not our house, but G.o.d"s house, and what right have we to stand in the door and turn away those whom he most cordially invites? Christ had his beloved disciple, and so we can have our beloved and congenial friends. But there were none too low or lowly for him to help by direct personal effort, by sympathetic contact, and I, for one, dare not ignore his example."
"Do you not think we can better accomplish this work by our mission chapel?"
"Where is your precedent? Christ washed the feet of fishermen in order to give us an example of humility, and to teach us that we should be willing to serve any one in his name. I heartily approve of mission chapels as outposts; but, as in earthly warfare, they should be posts of honor, posts for the brave, the sagacious, and the most worthy. If they are maintained in the character of second-cla.s.s cars, they are to that extent unchristian. If those who are gathered there are to be kept there solely on account of their dress and humble circ.u.mstances, I would much prefer taking my chances of meeting my Master with them than in the church which practically excludes them.
"Christ said, "I was a stranger, and ye took me in." I came to our church as a stranger twice. I was permitted to walk in and walk out, but no one spoke to me, no one invited me to come again. It seems to me that I would starve rather than enter a private house where I was so coldly treated. I have no desire for startling innovations. I simply wish to unite myself with a church that is trying to imitate the example of the Master, and where all, whatever may be their garb or social and moral character, are cordially invited and sincerely welcomed."
Dr. Barstow now removed his hand from his face. It was pale, but its expression was resolute and n.o.ble.
"Mrs. Arnot, permit me to say that you are both right and wrong," he said. "Your views of what a church should be are right; you are wrong in wishing to withdraw before having patiently and prayerfully sought to inculcate a true Christian spirit among those to whom you owe and have promised Christian fidelity. You know that I have not very long been the pastor of this church, but I have already felt that something was amiss.
I have been oppressed and benumbed with a certain coldness and formality in our church life. At the same time I admit, with contrition, that I have given way to my besetting sin. I am naturally a student, and when once in my study I forget the outside world. I am p.r.o.ne to become wholly occupied with the thought of my text, and to forget those for whom I am preparing my discourse. I, too, often think more of the sermon than of the people, forgetting the end in the means, and thus I fear I was becoming but a voice, a religious philosophy, among them, instead of a living and a personal power. You have been awakened to the truth, Mrs.
Arnot, and you have awakened me. I do not feel equal to the task which I clearly foresee before me; I may fail miserably, but I shall no longer darken counsel with many words. You have given me much food for thought; and while I cannot foretell the end, I think present duty will be made clear. In times of perplexity it is our part to do what seems right, asking G.o.d for guidance, and then leave the consequences to him. One thing seems plain to me, however, that it is your present duty to remain with us, and give your prayers and the whole weight of your influence on the side of reform."
"Dr. Barstow," said Mrs. Arnot, her face flushing slightly, "you are right; you are right. I have been hasty, and, while condemning others, was acting wrong myself. You have shown the truer Christian spirit. I will remain while there is any hope of a change for the better."
"Well, Mrs. Arnot," said Mr. Blakeman, the elderly church officer, "I have drawn you out partly to get your views and partly to get some clearer views myself. I, too, am with you, doctor, in this struggle; but I warn you both that we shall have a hot time before we thaw the ice out of our church."
"First pure, and then peaceable," said the minister slowly and musingly; and then they separated, each feeling somewhat as soldiers who are about to engage in a severe and doubtful battle.
CHAPTER x.x.xIV
A FOOTHOLD
The skies did not brighten for Haldane, and he remained perplexed and despondent. When one wishes to reform, everything does not become lovely in this unfriendly world. The first steps are usually the most difficult, and the earliest experience the most disheartening. G.o.d never designed that reform should be easy. As it is, people are too ready to live the life which renders reform necessary. The ranks of the victims of evil would be doubled did not a wholesome fear of the consequences restrain.