I was about to push them open a.s.suming they were just like any other doors but oh no, not in this place. As soon as my hand came into contact with the cool gla.s.s they disappeared into the wall out of sight. I walked through the opening into the dead of night and shivered as the cool air hit me like a cold shower after swimming in a heated pool. I closed my eyes in habit, something I always did when first walking out into a winter night. Although technically it was Autumn or "Fall" as they called it here. But to me whenever the weather got cold and the rain or snow showed, it was winter"s way of saying a premature h.e.l.lo.
I heard the doors closing behind me with a gentle hum and the noise from the VIP was abruptly cut off. The balcony was huge, a room of its own. It was framed with marble pillars and in between was a wall of stone bal.u.s.trades. The top part was wide enough to sit on if you were brave enough, which I wasn"t. There was no seating of any kind and the floor was spotless, even though there were ma.s.sive ferns in Chinese pots either side of the doors. There were also vines that worked their way around the pillars, hugging them tightly. There was no evidence of where they came from, so I guessed they had made their way up the side of the house.
The view in front of me was a blanket of deep surrounding blackness. There was no moon out and if it hadn"t been for the lamps on the walls I wouldn"t have been able to see my hand in front of my face. The lights cast an eerie glow that reflected off the marble floor making me feel uneasy.
I unscrewed the top of my bottle and took a couple of long swigs not realising just how thirsty I was until I had felt the cold liquid slide down my throat. So it took me by surprise when I heard my name being spoken from behind me.
"Keira, so here"s where you"ve been hiding." I turned around to see Sophia for the first time tonight. I don"t know why but whenever I did get the guts to look over to the top table all my eyes managed to find was his face.
"Hi Sophia, how"s your night?" She smiled and looked over her shoulder as though she heard something there. She smirked and turned back to answer me.
"It"s productive and as it just so happens it"s about to get even more interesting, but enough about my night, how"s your first night going? Are you going to come back for more?" I thought for a moment and answered truthfully.
"It"s been a piece of cake. I"m a bit surprised but you were right, nothing to worry about." I screwed the cap back on my water bottle and pulled down on my top feeling like a shabby homeless person compared to the beauty before me. Her hair hung in perfect spiral curls and the purple dress she wore, fitted like it was tailored to her G.o.ddess figure.
"Good, that"s great! Well why don"t you join me for a drink after work, to celebrate your first shift?" I looked down at my scruffy black flat shoes and knew the answer I would give her wouldn"t be one she"d want to hear.
"I don"t think that"s a good idea Sophia."
When I heard the response I was about to give, not coming from my own lips but from those of the man I was both terrified and obsessed with, I kept my head down even more. My last breath caught in my throat and it actually felt as though my blood had stopped flowing through my veins. It was just like before when all I wanted was to be invisible, a fly on the wall, never to be seen until it was time for him to leave. I just wanted to look at him from a distance.... that was enough. But like this I was so vulnerable.
"And why not, she did well and I think she deserves a drink!" I loved Sophia but right now I just wished she would back down from being my new spokeswoman. I had to add something before I ended up being the reason for these two to battle it out.
"I...I appreciate the invitation but your brother"s right, I will have to pa.s.s, but thanks." Ok I did it. I did the unthinkable. Ok so I did it with my head down but it was the first time I had spoken in front of him. h.e.l.l, I was just lucky it made sense and was in English, although I had stuttered a bit.
I looked only at Sophia and she pulled a face like I had just stolen her favourite doll and ripped its head off. So I felt like I needed to add something more.
"We"ll do it again soon though, ok?" She smiled a little and I could feel Draven"s eyes on my face but I still couldn"t look. I was just wishing this could be over so that I could get back to my job.
"Ok, but soon and I won"t take no for an answer." She seemed happy with this last little demand but I found it more adorable than serious.
"Sophia you"re wanted." He said this with such authority that it made me shudder, however Sophia just shrugged her shoulders and nodded, but before leaving she hugged me and said, "See you tomorrow." At which I was sure I heard her brother"s disapproval in the form of a low growl. I hugged her back but went bright red at the embrace. Normally I would have been fine but under the scrutinising eyes of her brother, the blood in my cheeks gave away my feelings only too clearly.
She left Draven and me alone and I found myself playing nervously with the bottle in my hands. After a moment of silence and him clearly not moving I went to go around him when suddenly he grabbed my arm stopping me.
I felt the heat as the first touch rushed through the thin material of my top and through the gloves underneath them. It entered my skin and pierced my heart as though he had been made from pure electricity. I was taken aback to say the least and didn"t know how to respond but the shock made my hand drop the bottle. Before I even had chance to bend down to retrieve it, he had it in his other hand pa.s.sing it to me.
"Here you go." He said with a hint of softness in his voice as a prompt to take it. This was what made me look up into his eyes for the first time and I regretted it instantly. His eyes were filled with so many emotions it was hard to pinpoint one. They were so utterly cavernous I felt as though I could look into them for hours getting lost in their beauty, they were truly mesmerizing. He looked back into mine and spoke again, only now releasing my arm and breaking the connection as though cutting the wire that powered my heart for a short time. I lowered my eyes to hide my shame.
"Karmun tells me you did well tonight." I nodded not knowing what to say in response but I still couldn"t look into his eyes again, feeling that if I did, I wouldn"t ever be able to escape them.
He moved a step closer to me and I could feel the heat from his body. I closed my eyes not being able to help my habit but I don"t think he noticed my weakness. He leaned down slightly as he had done so many times before in my dreams. He was more than a full head taller than me, but he closed the distance between our bodies to mere inches. I could smell his skin and wanted to inhale more deeply to take in every scent. But I didn"t, instead I froze. Locked into my position like a scared animal.
"Come back tomorrow then, if that is the case." And that was it! It was over with those words still in the air as he left me standing alone, nearly hyperventilating.
Chapter 17 - A Not So Memorable Lane.
I was still thinking about my encounter with Draven when I was at home getting ready for bed. I had been in a zombie like state for the next hour of my shift and the ride home with Frank and also with the conversation that I had with Libby when I got in.
I was still in shock that we had actually spoken to one another. Ok it wasn"t actually a real conversation but it was better than him just insulting me as I stood there not saying a word. I could feel Gooseb.u.mps appear on my skin whenever I allowed myself to think about how close he had been. I had thought that the real thing would have been more effective than in my dreams but as it turns out my dreams had been spot on. The smell was the same, the heat and connection I felt whenever he touched me. It had all felt just as real as it did tonight. I couldn"t understand how that could be but whatever it was, I wasn"t complaining.
I decided to try and unwind as I picked up Jane Eyre and started to read where I had left off but I kept imagining Draven as Mr Rochester. The similarities were starting to mount up. He too had been harsh calling Jane a witch the first time they met. But she soon warmed to him after a time, peeling off the rock exterior to find a soft centre that loved her, even though she was plain, penniless and above all... Broken.
I would love to believe that my own story could hold the possibility of an outcome like this but in an age obsessed by beauty, money and greed I doubted even for a second that Draven would ever think of me the way Rochester did about Jane. But it was harmless enough to dream about, right?
I put down the book after only three pages frustrated that everything had to come back to Draven. I turned off the light and prayed a silent prayer for sleep to come without visions of the monsters that had now decided it was the right time to come back into my life. As if my life wasn"t complicated enough!
I drifted in and out of sleep but woke up when the tossing and turning was too frustrating to even try to sleep. I got up and went into the bathroom thinking that my sleeping pills might help, even though they hadn"t last night but who knows, tonight seemed to be the night for change. I was about to swallow the two pills in my hand when I heard something. I turned to face where the noise was coming from and stood deadly still, trying not to breathe. I waited but there was nothing so I put it down to my imagination.
I swallowed the pills and walked back into my room. I heard the rain start to lash against my window and put the noise down to that. I went over to the window seat and sat down listening to the rain. I looked out at the angry night sky and jumped when lightening erupted, illuminating the clouds and silhouettes of the trees. I put my hand to my chest and laughed nervously at my jumpiness.
I counted the seconds until the thunder and knew it was close when I only got to six. Even though I knew it was coming I still jumped again when it cracked the silent sky, filling it with a boom. I shook my head and laughed again at myself at how jumpy I was. Then the lightening hit again only this time it didn"t just light up the sky. I looked down into the garden and for a spilt second I could see a figure under my window looking up at me. I didn"t take my eyes away from it but now without the lightening it was too dark to make out who or what it was.
I strained my eyes and waited for the next flash of light to reveal the mystery. The storm was getting closer as now I only got to three seconds until the thunder erupted once more. I could see the figure moving slowly and it looked as though it was motioning me to come down to join him. I could now make out that it was a man, being far too tall and bulky to be a woman. He moved his arm up and his hand was waving at me.
I waited and waited for some more light. If only the moon had been out I could have seen him clearer. Whoever he was he wore a long coat down to the ground and he wore a hat. The hat was like one you would have seen from those old corny detective shows, what were they called... a trilby. I could only see his mouth and chin as the hat concealed his face but my mind was processing where that hat looked familiar.
I was sure I remembered someone wearing one like that but where? I didn"t have to wait much longer to find out as the sky lit up in three different places giving me more than enough light as the storm was now directly above the house. What my eyes saw there was scarier than any nightmare or any monster I had seen.
For there, under my window, beckoning me to join him... was my past.
I screamed and screamed until my lungs needed more air, I was gripping something as it felt like I was being smothered. I was in a bag! That must have been it, he had got me again, no, no, no! I had to get free. Someone must hear me. I screamed again and again. I could taste the material over my face and I could smell the sweat from my body as I twisted and turned.
I was scratching and clawing at it in hopes of escape. Not again, not again! I screamed again using all of the air left in my lungs and then the material lifted from my face as I heard a familiar voice saying my name.
"Kaz, Kazzy its ok, its ok it"s just me...calm down, you"re ok now, it was just a dream." My sister was smoothing her hand across my forehead looking as pale as I must have been. She helped me sit up as my head started to find its way back to reality. My breathing slowed and the tears started to flow from my sore eyes.
I"m sor..sor..sorry!" I mumbled through sobs. She smiled and took my head into her arms, letting me cry freely into her shoulder.
"Is she all right?" Frank stood near the door with a baseball bat in hand looking like he was ready for action. She waved an arm at him in response and he backed away leaving me in Libby"s arms like a small frightened child.
"Feeling better?" She said after ten minutes of hysterics.
"I"m sorry for that, it was just I haven"t had a dream like that for a while, I guess it threw me." I took the tissue out of her hand and wiped my eyes and runny nose, feeling a little embarra.s.sed.
"It"s fine, but the way you were screaming I think Frank was ready to bust the door down, and it wasn"t even locked, I think sometimes he thinks he"s Jack Bauer from 24!" We both laughed and I instantly felt better.
"Poor Frank, he looked worried," I said feeling guilty.
"Well at least you know you have a big brother in the house to protect you." That was more comforting than she realised.
"Was it about him?" She asked carefully not wanting to upset me anymore. I just nodded feeling my eyes fill again. Her face looked both angry and sad at the same time.
"Try and get some rest, do you want to take some pills?"
"It"s ok I already...oh no wait that must have been in my dreams, in that case yeah, I better had." She got up and went into my bathroom but then came back out again with the bottle in her hand and no water, I was about to protest that I could never swallow pills without some form of liquid but she handed me an empty prescription bottle.
"But how... that"s strange there were loads in there yesterday." I couldn"t understand how the bottle was empty, I had only taken some the night before and the bottle was over half full.
Libby glanced at me with a weird look, obviously not knowing what to believe but clearly she was worried so I told her about the part when I had taken some pills in my dream.
"Maybe I was sleep walking and tipped them away, I really don"t remember." Her face softened and she got me some she had been given when she pulled her back about four months ago.
"These will knock you out so take two now and I will wake you in the morning but you know this means you"re going to have to speak to another therapist to get any more pills don"t you?" I nodded not liking where this was going, the last thing I needed now was to "Talk about my feelings" again. It was beginning to look like my new life was trying to find my old one again.
The next time I woke it was morning and Libby was waking me up with a cup of tea.
"How are you feeling this morning?" I looked at her through blurry eyes and saw that she was all ready for work, which could only mean one thing ...I was most definitely late! RJ would be here any minute! I jumped out of bed and raced towards the bathroom but Libby stood in my way.
"What"s the rush?"
"I"m going to be late, how come you didn"t wake me sooner?" I said with a croaky voice from last night"s "Sob-a-thon."
"Because I thought you would want to sleep in, as it"s a Sat.u.r.day!" Oh. I must have been more confused last night than I thought. I a.s.sumed when Sophia had said "See you tomorrow" she had meant in cla.s.s but she had really meant in work.
"Oh yeah so it is but you"re dressed for the office?" I stopped rushing to get ready and went to sit back down on the bed to drink my tea. Meanwhile Libby was picking up some clothes and putting a pair of my shoes back in the wardrobe.
"I"m sorry, I know we were supposed to spend the day together but this client is breathing down my neck to get this job done and if I do a good enough job on this one, then I might have six other show homes, so it"s a big deal." She smiled with enthusiasm but also looked guilty as well.
"It"s fine, I have loads of studying to do and plus I"m thinking while the storm"s pa.s.sed I will take advantage of the dry weather and go for a walk." I needed to go and clear my head after last night and I couldn"t think of a better cure.
"Ok, but tonight I will make up for it, we will order some pizzas, pop some corn and watch a girlie movie." I laughed at her take on an American accent. I loved the sound of spending some quality time with my sister, so when I told her that I couldn"t because I was working she looked hurt.
"I"m sorry, but hey I"m off tomorrow, let"s do something then, ok?" She nodded and added, "Ok, but I still think it"s all too much, all this work for college and the club... you"re going to collapse." She was a little bit right. If I didn"t get some decent sleep soon I was going to drop.
"It"s only until I have enough to get a car and then I will cut some of my shifts, besides I can"t expect you and Frank to keep chauffeuring me around back and to." I held up my hand to stop her from continuing with her protests.
"I know you don"t mind doing it but I do, it"s not right that you have to keep picking me up at such late hours and plus I don"t want to push my luck with RJ." She admitted defeat and gave up.
"Ok I will see you later, try and relax today, take it easy ok?" I replied with a "Scouts honour" and saluted.
I spent some of the day catching up on college work and "trying to relax," but I found that every time I didn"t have anything to warrant my full concentration my mind would wander over to darker thoughts. The most disappointing thing about my dream last night wasn"t the fact that it had managed to worm its way back into my life, no it was more the lack of someone coming to rescue me from it. In my last nightmare Draven had come to save me from the monster which made the nightmare less scary but in the one last night, that was one where I had needed him the most. As a result I couldn"t keep my mind off my past no matter how much I tried. It was so bad at one point I was half considering the bottle of vodka that Libby had down in the liquor cabinet.
But that was a bad place to go and I knew it but sometimes just the thought of going that low to numb the pain was all I needed to knock me back out of it. I decided this was the right time to go for a walk and try and find that place that Libby and I had hiked to. It was a nice clear day, it was still cold but once I started walking I would soon heat up.
I grabbed my jacket, which had a big hood, just in case it decided to pour it down. I put my mp3 player in my pocket, turned it on, placed the headphones in my ears and grabbed the keys. I knew the direction I was heading for so I set out losing myself in the music and the scenery around me. I followed the rough pathway that led deeper into the forest and continued until I got to the part that forked but for the life of me I couldn"t remember which way we had taken. For some reason though I had the biggest urge to go left. As though something was pulling me that way. There was that little voice inside that said it wouldn"t be a good idea but I didn"t listen to it, instead I listened to the rebellious voice that told me not to be afraid.
After about twenty minutes along my chosen path the forest floor started to get a bit more like hard work, as if this was once a regular walking spot but now I wasn"t so sure. It looked like the earth hadn"t been disturbed in some time. There were a lot of branches to duck under and pull back to allow me to pa.s.s and at one point there was a fallen tree that made me change course due to its size. It looked freshly up- rooted and the air was filled with the scent of freshly dug earth. Maybe it had been from the storm last night.
Another twenty minutes or so of walking in this direction was all it took to make me regret my decision, fearing now that I would never remember my way back. I stopped and pulled my headphones from my ears to find that I could hear the sound of running water and realised there must be a stream nearby. As soon as I heard it, all I could think about was how thirsty I was. I followed the sound a little off the track I was on and it wasn"t long until I found it. The little scene was so pretty I wished I had a camera with me.
The ground around it was softly covered in moss and it curved its way around each little rock and stone like a blanket. The forest echoed the sound of the water rushing along and I bent down closer to take a drink. I rolled up one of my long gloves freeing my hand to cup the crystal clear water. I made a noise when my skin came in contact with the freezing liquid, as it was a shock but a refreshing one. I got up once I had enough and followed the stream upwards for a while before coming to an opening. The light pierced through the trees as they separated creating a clearing like the one that I had seen in my first dream about Draven.
I stepped into the light s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g up my eyes, as they had grown accustomed to the shade the forest provided. I walked forward and soon realised that I was at an opening by the cliffs. There were trees that surrounded a log cabin, which was on the very edge of a sheer drop and the National Park opened up reaching for miles. It reminded me of the view outside my bedroom window with wave after wave of lush green forest. I couldn"t help but smile at the beauty and could imagine that the people who must have lived there, not only liked to live life on the edge (literally) but they must have loved the forest and its beauty. It was one of the best views of scenery I had ever seen.
The log cabin looked long abandoned with windows smashed and cracked wooden panels as though it had once been kicked in. The door was nearly hanging off its hinges and had also seen better days. I walked closer, feeling that I should be shouting to see if there was anyone else around. I don"t know why, it was obviously a long time since it had been lived in but I just felt that maybe I wasn"t as alone as I should be.
I put that thought to the back of my mind and put my foot on the wooden steps leading up to the front door. The wood creaked under the weight of my foot and I looked around making sure I wasn"t being watched. Seeing nothing but the wall of forest looking back at me I walked onto the porch and looked through one of the windows by the door. One of the panels was missing so I crouched down and peered inside telling myself that this was as far as I was going to take it.
It looked as abandoned on the inside as it did on the outside. There were a few bits of handmade furniture but most of the stuff looked broken up and piled up near the doorways and windows. That"s when I noticed the rest of the windows that faced out towards the cliff had been boarded up in what looked like a hurry.
The front door had the most furniture next to it but it had been pushed backwards. Like something had burst through the front door spreading it along the floor in its path. I couldn"t understand why anyone would do this, what were they trying to keep out? It didn"t look like it would flood here and anyway what would furniture do? Wouldn"t there be sandbags and stuff like that around the doors instead.
I got a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach as I felt like it was time to leave. A gut feeling had me believing something bad had happened here. I started walking backwards off the porch not wanting to take my eyes off the door, fearing if I did someone might come bursting from behind it. This of course wasn"t the brightest of ideas as I caught my foot and fell backwards off the steps.
My body hit the floor sideways and I hit my head on one of the rocks that lined a path towards the front door. I closed my eyes as a shooting pain exploded around my skull. I tried to get up but failed a few times as the ringing in my head made it hard to focus. I finally got up to my knees and felt for the damage. My hand went to the cause of the pain and found a sticky liquid. GREAT! I was now bleeding. I looked at my hand covered in deep red blood and tried to remain calm. I wasn"t going to die from a little cut and I had overcome my fear of blood years ago.
I made it to my feet, wiping the blood off my hand on the ground. I could now feel it trickling its way down my cheek. I took off one of my gloves, wiped my face and held it to the rest of my cut, hoping it didn"t need st.i.tches. That"s all I needed for my shift tonight, a big gash on my head and a blue bulge to match it. I just prayed it didn"t look that bad as I started to walk back in the direction I had come from. I was also hoping that n.o.body was home when I got back. Libby would freak out as it was, but if I could at least wash the blood out of my hair, that would be a bonus.
Then I remembered the stream and that I could use that to clean myself up a bit just in case she was there. But where was it? Had I gone wrong somewhere because it was near the cabin wasn"t it? I turned in every direction but I couldn"t make out anything familiar. How far had I walked away from the path I came? My head was starting to feel real fuzzy and my vision clouded with the pain.
It was then that I heard it. I couldn"t understand where it came from but I followed it anyway knowing that it led to people. Someone was singing faintly in the distance or was it music being played. I couldn"t tell the difference as it didn"t sound like anything I had ever heard before. It was a beautiful hum that changed into words I couldn"t understand. Maybe I would come across some hikers that had a map.... and a stereo.
I twisted around branches and foliage following the sound that echoed through the trees. Whenever I would go slightly off in the other direction it would momentarily get louder in the direction I should be going. I was in a daze and couldn"t feel the throbbing in my head any more, all I could feel, taste and think was the noise that I followed. For all I knew it was leading me deeper into the forest and I would be lost forever but for some reason I wasn"t worried. It was like I was on some sort of mind control drug. I was completely hypnotised and I was mellow and calm as I picked up pace to find this amazing sound.
I wasn"t sure how long I walked but it didn"t feel like more than mere minutes. It was just getting louder but I still couldn"t see anything that would make that noise. I was now on a path and my feet didn"t have to work as hard to move along. I broke out into a run as it felt like I was getting closer and closer. I could hear more words now but still it was a language that I had never heard. I was nearly losing my breath as my heart ached with strain. I wasn"t the fittest of people at the best of times and I hardly ever ran but there was just something spellbinding about the sound that filled my ears and took over my brain. I was nearly there now I could feel it. I could see an opening in the trees, as the light got brighter with every step.
Then the sound was gone.
The noise had stopped as though the power had been cut, as I walked out into the front of the house I knew well. I couldn"t understand any of what had just happened. I looked around for signs of anyone, maybe a pa.s.sing car or music that Libby had been playing but that still wouldn"t have explained it. I followed music that led me home. I was sure of it.
I went into the house and walked upstairs dumping my jacket on the bed and kicking my shoes off. I don"t know when but I lost the glove I used to soak up the blood so I took off my other one and pulled my top off ready to get in the shower. Leaving just the camisole top I wore underneath with my bra. I knew n.o.body was in so I walked to the bathroom and grabbed a fresh towel from the cupboard on the way. Once in the bathroom I examined the damage in the mirror.
Thankfully it wasn"t as bad as I had dreaded. It looked worse because of the dried blood on my face and hair. The cut wasn"t deep enough to need st.i.tches and I knew I could get away without needing to see a doctor. There was a purplish bruise around it that I could hide with my hair and after a skin coloured plaster I thought I could get away with it without anyone noticing.
After a hot shower and a good wash getting rid of the remaining blood, I felt better and was slowly forgetting the day, putting it down to a weird kind of sixth sense about where I was going. Libby was back when I got out of the bathroom and I didn"t have time to hide the evidence of my fall.
"Oh my G.o.d, what happened to you?" She ran over to me and fussed about my head, tightening her fists and sucking air through her teeth, the way people did when they could imagine the pain.
"It"s fine honestly, it"s not as bad as it looks." This was a bit of a lie, as soon as the music had stopped I could feel the banging in my head that any good headache brings.
"Tilt your head and let me see, you might need st.i.tches." I tilted my head in her hands and said "It"s ok, I looked in the mirror and it"s not that deep, I will be fine with just a plaster." She grabbed my hand and started to pull me down to the kitchen, where she kept the first aid box.
"Sit under the light." I did as instructed and she pulled a box down the size you could have fit a Christmas turkey in! What did she keep in that thing, spare body parts!
"So are you going to tell me how this happened?"
"It was no big deal. I just tripped and hit my head on a rock." She was cutting up little strips of tape into tiny lines and was pa.s.sing them to me to hold.
"This might sting a bit." She sprayed some antiseptic on the open wound and I cursed like a pirate.
"Nice, very lady like," she teased.