"Sorry, next time it feels like my skins melting off I will calmly say "Oh fiddlesticks, terribly sorry my dear but that did sting a wee bit." She laughed at my posh accent and carried on by pulling my skin together before sticking it in place with the little strips she"d cut, acting like make shift st.i.tches. She covered that with a bigger plaster and said, "There, that"s better."
"Thanks mum!" I gave her a kiss on the cheek and left to go back upstairs.
"So do you want me to call work for you?" I turned and looked at her in disbelief.
"Why on earth would I want you to do that?" I laughed at the thought.
"Because you hit your head and could have concussion or something." I shook my head and smirked at the idea.
"I didn"t break my neck Libs, I only b.u.mped my head, I think I"ll be fine for work." She shrugged her shoulders and said "Ok, only making sure."
Once I was ready I studied myself in the mirror and tried to position my hair so it covered the plaster completely, only every time I moved my head, my hair would move with it. I gave up and decided just to keep my head down and hopefully no one would notice.
Just before I was ready for leaving the phone rang with RJ on the other end. She wanted to ask me if I was working tonight and if I needed a lift home as Jack was the designated driver for this evening and seeing as he was going past my way he could drop me off as well. I accepted the offer as I knew Frank couldn"t pick me up tonight anyway as he was working late and I didn"t like the idea of Libby driving in the dark.
"Tell Jack thanks," I said as the conversation was coming to an end and I needed to leave now so as not to be late for work.
"It"s ok you can tell him yourself later, as I"m sure he would much rather hear it from you anyway." She finished the sentence with a naughty giggle and hung up. I put on my jacket and took my bag from Libby as she held it out to me.
"You ready?" I thought about the question for a minute and wondered was I ever ready to be in the same room as Draven?
The answer was always the same...
Never.
Chapter 18 - A drive never to be forgotten.
By the time I had arrived at work my headache went from 0 to 60 in less than five minutes. My head was throbbing with pain and I was regretting not taking Libby"s advice. I tried to ignore it but it was persistent so I took a couple of the painkillers that I kept in my bag before I went upstairs.
Once upstairs I pulled the short bits of my hair forward to try and hide the huge bruise and lump that had now fully developed. It was amazing that in one short car ride it had changed so much, it was now different shades of blue and purple and also had crept its way down one cheek along with a little scratch. There was no getting round it, my face looked a mess and no amount of hair across my forehead was going to conceal it.
I walked in front of the tables with my head down, letting my hair flop limply around my face. I didn"t look up until I b.u.mped into the bar.
"Hey sweetheart, how are.... WOW now that"s a real shiner. Now that looks painful! What did you do, lose a fight with a bus?" I smiled timidly not wanting to draw any attention to myself.
"I fell," was all I said before going round to the other side and into the little room in the back. Once inside I lifted my hair again to re-evaluate the damage. Eek! It didn"t look pretty. The lump had grown and was making the plaster lift on the side that was near my hairline. I tried to pat it down but it had lost its stickiness and wasn"t co-operating. I rolled my eyes to the ceiling and inhaled a deep breath before walking out to start my shift.
This was great, only my second night at this job and I already looked like I"d been in the ring with Rocky Balboa! I could tell it was going to be one of those nights. I was just about to walk through the door into the bar when I heard my name, only it wasn"t being called it was being said. But I couldn"t see who it was without showing myself, so I waited. I didn"t recognise the voice as the band had started but I was sure it was male. I waited but didn"t hear anything else so I walked out. There was no one there apart from Karmun.
"Are you sure you"re ok to work?" I wanted to tell him no but knew that wouldn"t look good so instead I lied.
"Yeah I"m fine, it looks worse than it is." He didn"t look convinced but gave me a tray of drinks anyway and pointed to the table. After about an hour of waiting tables my head was starting to spin slightly so I went into the back and took a couple more tablets, as they didn"t seem to be touching it. I knew this wasn"t safe but I just wanted the pounding to stop drumming against my skull. The music wasn"t helping being a very heavy Rock band called the "Perfect Nightmares." Well they didn"t disappoint, being as they were at this very moment my perfect nightmare! The drum and ba.s.s mirrored the pain in my head and I sat down for a minute holding my head in my hands. I needed to get a grip!
I could do this! I was only doing a short four hour shift tonight anyway so only three more hours to go and I could go home to bed. But then I was forgetting, Jack was taking me home tonight and Frank was working late. Well I would just have to call Libby and ask her to come and get me, because I didn"t know how I was going to last another three hours let alone the rest of the night downstairs socializing.
When I went back out I noticed most of my tables had been cleared for me and Karmun"s worried face was waiting for me.
"You need to go home, you don"t look well." I was about to agree when I noticed Draven"s cold hard eyes staring at me, which made me change my mind. I didn"t want to give him the satisfaction of being right. He didn"t want me working up here in the first place and after only one night, being sent home would prove him right. Nope I don"t think so. I would rather slog it out.
"I feel better now, I"ve just taken some pain killers and they should start kicking in soon." He shook his head a bit but I knew he was caving. He handed me the tray again and added, "Ok but if you feel dizzy or sick then you are going home and no buts." I nodded and took the tray trying to hold it as steady as I could.
The customers started to look at me strangely and I wondered how many times I had b.u.mped into their tables. I was losing my perspective on my surrounding as my vision kept going blurry. It had only been another hour but I was fading fast. Maybe Libby was right, maybe I had suffered concussion. I got back to the bar and nearly fell but managed to hold myself up without dropping. I was feeling sick and needed some air badly. I grabbed my bag and told Karmun I was going to get some air on the balcony. He just nodded but I wasn"t sure it was to me. I had never felt this dizzy before and kept shaking my head to make it go away, but it was having the opposite effect and making me want to vomit.
Once outside I couldn"t help what was coming and ran over to the huge plant pot that was closest to the door and threw up in it. Luckily I hadn"t eaten much throughout the day so what came up was mainly liquid and bile. My throat burned and I took the bottle of water out of my bag and took a large gulp, only it felt like liquid fire as it went down.
The cold air on my skin was welcoming as the heat from my body was causing little beads of sweat to form around my temple. I wiped them away with the back of my sleeve and dug into my bag for some more tablets knowing now it would be all right as I must have thrown up the last ones. I was just about to get two out of the bottle when the door opened suddenly letting out a burst of warm air and music. So I put the hand that was holding them behind my back, hiding them from sight.
I was about to say I would be back in a minute, thinking it was just Karmun that had come out to see if I was all right but I was wrong, it wasn"t Karmun and no amount of wishing, would make it so.
Draven walked through the gla.s.s doors and looked around finding me leaning up against the wall using it for support. I lowered my head quickly so he couldn"t see my face and felt the heat rush to my cheeks making my head spin even more. Why me! Of all the times for him to need some air, I would have to be out here, after just vomiting in his plant pot moments before and looking like I had been hit by a car or taking drugs! Whatever the case I looked truly awful. I know it"s not the best of times to be worried about what I looked like but in front of Draven it was hard not to.
"Keira, what are you doing out here?" It was the first time he had said my name and I loved how it sounded on his lips. I couldn"t believe that my obsession didn"t falter even when I was feeling as bad as this. My sickness for Draven obviously ran deep to the core.
"Sorry... I...I was just getting some air but... I"m umm...I"m done now." I turned to walk back in, still keeping my tablets out of slight, when his big strong arm came out in front of me so quickly I stopped in my path and was rooted to the spot. His hand stretched out resting on the stone wall. His arm remained strong, becoming a barrier of solid muscle preventing me from leaving. I noticed he wasn"t wearing his usual suit but a black t-shirt that clung tight to the curves of his defined muscular arms, wide chest and rippled stomach. A long black jacket that went to his knees added to a "bad a.r.s.e" exterior. It was like the one he wore when I first saw him in my dreams.
"What do you have in your hand?" His voice was hard and stern, making my lips quiver in response. It was more like a command than a question. His tall body leaned in towards mine slightly as it had done last night and I got the same feeling of heat from his skin. My head started to spin more and I held the wall for more support. My back was fully flat against the stone and my breathing got heavier.
"It"s...It"s nothing." I curled my fingers around the bottle tighter but my palms were sweating and they were starting to slip. I tried to put them in my pocket when his other hand came around my back. I couldn"t help the gasp at the feel of his touch as he gripped my wrist in a vice grip pulling it back round to my front. My pulse went through the roof and I looked up at him for the first time, meeting his terrifying black eyes.
He took my hand in his and peeled my fingers from around the orange bottle and looked down with disappointment in his eyes. I, on the other hand, was trying to string two words together but couldn"t due to the tingling heat that travelled its way around my body from his touch.
"I do not accept drugs in my club." I shuddered at the sound of his authoritative voice, which dominated the night air. I wanted to defend myself. I didn"t want him thinking I was some kind of junky! So somehow, amazingly my lips formed the words.
"It"s not drugs, I mean...well yeah its drugs but just normal pain killers, see I hit my head today and just have a bit of a headache." This in fact was a huge understatement. It actually felt as though my head was going to crack and my brain to would start to ooze out. I could feel that I was fading fast and my head looked down so that he couldn"t see. Also to add to my humiliation I was going slightly cross eyed trying to stay focused.
"Let me see." He ordered as he lifted his hand to my head. I thought I was going to die with shame. I was saying over and over in my head, "Please don"t, oh please don"t." And for a split second he actually stopped as if he had heard my secret plea. But then his hand touched my chin, lifting it up so he could see my face better. G.o.d knows what colour my cheeks went but they felt ablaze, so it couldn"t have been good. I refused to look at his eyes so they found a spot on his shoulder to stare at. But his hand didn"t stop there as it moved up to where the lump was and pushed back my hair. I bit my lip so hard that my teeth almost pierced the skin. His fingers touched the cut very gently and when I thought that it couldn"t get any worse, I realised that the plaster must have come off at some point because it was now all on full view with only a few thin lines of tape that Libby had put there.
He sighed as though upset with something and said in a softer tone, "This doesn"t look good. You shouldn"t be here, you probably have concussion." Oh great, now him too. Well wait until I tell Libby this one, something her and Draven agreed on. Only then I remembered I was yet to tell Libby I was working in the VIP but knowing what her reaction might be I decided this was one story that was better left untold.
Well I didn"t want to back down now I"d come this far, so I decided to be brave and tell him no.
"I"m going to be fine, I only have another hour or so and I will be fine until then." I moved to walk back inside but because I"d been stood in the same spot for a while I hadn"t noticed that the only reason I was still upright was thanks to the wall. My feet gave way and I would have stumbled if it wasn"t for Draven who had caught me by the waist. His strong arm was circled round my stomach and his other hand was gripping my side sending sparks of pleasure up my skin.
"I don"t think that"s going to happen," he said with a hint of smugness to it. Was he making fun of me?
My top had risen slightly and his skin was now in full contact with mine. The heat off his fingertips left marks of intense stimulation on my back. I closed my eyes as the rest of my legs finally gave way and I was soon in his arms. He had put one of his arms under my knees and the other one around my back, pulling me closer to his body. He then lifted me up to get a better grip.
I was so embarra.s.sed I started to object. Shaking my head slowly and saying "No, it"s ok... I can walk, really," in a pathetically weak voice, as my head was now spinning in pain.
"Easy there, you"re ok. I"m going to get you home." His face was full of concern as he stared into my eyes. It was the first time I had seen this softer side to him and it gave him a different yet s.e.xy look. But then I knew I must have been dreaming as surely he wouldn"t take the time himself to care for me, not an important man like Draven. I must have fallen asleep in that little room. That was it! I just prayed that Karmun found me and no one else.
It felt so real though and would there be this much pain if it wasn"t. I was vaguely aware that we were no longer alone. I could hear Draven giving orders to someone and I was pretty sure it wasn"t me as I was still nestled safely in his arms.
Arms that felt solid, as though they could have been made from steel and I wondered if this is what Louis Lane felt like when she was in the arms of Superman. Anyone else by now would have just put me down due to the strain.
I could just make out bits of what was being said and I heard the words "Car" and "My Lord" but I must have imagined this last part unless there was something more to Draven than I knew.
When I heard the door shut I knew we were alone again and waited for his next move. He leaned his head down and pulled me up so I was closer to his face as he whispered, "Close your eyes." I did what he asked as if the warm scent of his breath hypnotised me. He turned my face inwards so it was against his colossal shoulder and he moved his jacket so that it covered my head, shielding me from what was about to happen. I couldn"t prevent the shudder that crept its way up from my spine at the feel of his large hand gripping the back of my neck.
"Now don"t look or this will make you feel worse." I didn"t understand what he meant but I nodded under the material that smelt like warm leather. Then all of a sudden we were moving but I had no clue as to where. I mean we were still outside, I was almost certain of it. I couldn"t hear the music and the noise of people inside. Also there was still a chill in the air even though I could only just feel it, as I was next to Draven"s amazingly warm skin. In these arms I felt as though nothing in the world could ever harm me and I almost fell asleep with the warm tingling feeling that was moulded to my body shape like a protective coc.o.o.n. It was only the blazing pain in my head that kept this moment from being the most blissful experience of my life.
I couldn"t explain how we were moving, as it didn"t feel as though Draven"s body had any movement at all. It felt as though maybe we could have been gliding but it was probably down to the fact that I didn"t know what was real or what was fantasy any more. Then whatever it was came to an end as I jolted slightly in his arms as though he had just jumped and this was the landing. He was walking now and I couldn"t contain the urge to look any more, so I turned my head slowly so as not to draw his attention, although he must have felt my movement under his jacket because he pulled me in tighter still. I could feel his heart beating under his skin and my heart quickened at every beat.
The sound of his footsteps appeared as if he was walking on a stone floor and the chill was taken out of the air. I knew we must have been inside somewhere, as now it felt as though we were moving down a staircase. My body moved slightly with each step and I couldn"t help my hand grabbing on to the material of his T shirt as though to steady myself. I was also sure that I felt his head look down at me when I did this but I couldn"t see his face as my head was still buried into his shoulder.
And then we stopped. I held my breath waiting for him to put me down. His arms must be killing him by now as I was sure no man could carry a body for this long without any pain. But surprisingly he didn"t put me down, instead I heard the creaking of a door"s hinges and he carried on, letting it slam behind us. I jumped at the noise and he squeezed me tighter as though telling me through his actions that I was safe.
We carried on for a while longer and as if by hearing my thoughts he finally spoke "Not much further now." His voice was strong and steady and amazingly wasn"t even strained slightly from the weight of me. I mean I knew he looked fit but I had no idea he was super human! The guy was a machine. We went through another door into a room and I knew this was the end of our journey as his arms and grip loosened around my body, allowing me to turn my head and peek through.
We seemed to be in what looked like a car dealership. There were so many new cars I couldn"t name them all, there must have been at least twenty. It looked more like a museum as some of them were in their own display mounts. Some were covered in sheets and there was one that looked extremely old. I was sure it was in its own gla.s.s room. I knew then that I was most likely dreaming, as I was sure I could see it shake as though trying to get out. What the h.e.l.l was going on in my head!
We weren"t alone and Draven was walking up to a man who wore a flat hat and a long grey coat.
"Will it be the Enzo or the Phantom my Lord?" I had no idea what he was saying but I think he was asking Draven which car he should take me home in and then there was that Lord thing again. I just couldn"t get my head around it. I was getting ready for his hands to let me go and even though the pain was now creeping its way across the back of my head I was still encountering more pleasure in Draven"s arms than I had ever known and wasn"t ready to let go yet.
"No, I will take her back in the Aston," he said in his usual demanding tone. The man nodded, adding "Very good Sir" and went off to open the door to a very low silver sports car. It looked more like a panther than a car, with its sleek curves and angry grill. I was almost scared to be put into it. But wait... I had missed something. Draven had said that he was driving me home, or did I hear that wrong? If so, this was about to get even more embarra.s.sing.
With my body still curled in Draven"s arms he walked up to the Aston and lowered me into the seat. He was so careful, as though I was made from gla.s.s and he was scared of breaking me. As he put me down his hands slid from under my legs and his face nearly touched mine he was so close. I couldn"t breathe and again closed my eyes being scared that I might find his eyes on mine.
"Are you all right?" Once more his voice was soft and steady as he said the words so close to my own lips. I kept my eyes closed and could only nod in response as I still didn"t believe this was happening to me. I heard the door close so I opened my eyes and focused them to the light.
Inside the car was like nothing I had seen before. The seat that I sat in was curved up around my body and it reminded me of a racing car. I think they called them bucket seats. In between the driver"s side there was a curved middle console with controls I didn"t recognise. For all I knew he could have been James Bond and this was where you fired the rockets and ejector seats.
The rest of the car was black leather and cream interior, with a chrome finish. The steering wheel looked more fitting for a master"s hand like a sword to a warrior. It wanted to be driven, as if beckoning or daring you to touch it, to see if you could control its power. The silver wings that were embedded in the middle just added to the feel of the machine as though created by the G.o.ds themselves.
This car was definitely made for a man like Draven.
I didn"t know much about cars but I would bet my life on it that this car cost a small fortune. I jumped when the driver"s side opened and Draven"s long muscular legs stepped in. The car was facing a stone wall and it didn"t look as if there was going to be enough room to pull forward to turn round but thinking about it I couldn"t see a garage door of any kind so I wasn"t sure how we were going to get out. Draven must have noticed me looking around and read my thoughts.
"Put your seat belt on," he said while looking at me and he soon had me biting my lip again. Then the lights went out plunging us into darkness. I couldn"t help the noise that escaped my lips and his voice remained calm and said, "Don"t be afraid. Trust me." I don"t know why but I did trust him, however the one I didn"t trust was myself. I lifted my hand to my head and held it there trying to stop the throbbing. We were still in the dark and thankfully he couldn"t see the pain in my eyes.
"Try to relax and the pain will ease." His deep voice cut through the silence as if he could see me in the dark. I looked over to him and for one tiny second I could see a purplish tint to where his eyes would be and then they disappeared as the engine burst into life.
The beast came alive around us, sounding like a hundred thousand warriors charging into battle. Then the stone wall in front of us reappeared in the blaze of the headlights, only now seeming closer than it had before. He revved the engine as though taunting the beast and all of a sudden I became disorientated by the thunderous roar and the immense force that pinned me back in my seat. Then in fear my mind focused on the wall, I closed my eyes and gripped the seat ready for the impact!
But it never came, instead we seemed to be getting faster and I never could imagine death to be so painless. I wondered if Draven had been my Angel to deliver me to Heaven or my Demon to drag me to h.e.l.l. But as I started to compose myself I realised I was still breathing and in one piece.
"You can open your eyes now." Draven said with no emotion in his voice. I did as I was told and opened them to find we were on a road, but we were going so fast that I couldn"t make out where, as everything was a blur outside my window.
I couldn"t help but ask "Where did the wall go?" A quiet laugh came from his lips and a smile that I hadn"t seen before. It was hard to tell in the dark with only the faint glow of the dash to show the expression on his face but his eyes changed from their usual cold black to the hint of purple that I had seen before.
"That wall was the door and it opened just like any other, which you would have seen if you hadn"t had your eyes closed." The blood rushed to my face and I was glad that the light in the car wouldn"t pick it up. I truly was going crazy and now Draven knew it too.
"Let me ask you, do you really believe I would have driven us both through a stone wall?" He laughed again at the thought and I was getting hotter. He was making fun of me and rightly so, but I had to defend myself in some way.
"Well considering it didn"t look like a b.l.o.o.d.y door and I"ve had a knock to the head maybe you could cut me some slack!" OH MY G.o.d!!!! What did I just say, where did that come from, and more importantly how was I ever going to take it back! I looked out of the window and once again was nearly pulling all the skin off my bottom lip. I was now wishing more than ever that this were a dream. What must he be thinking, the man has just carried me G.o.d knows how far and is driving me home in this awesome machine and that"s what I decided to say! What an idiot... IDIOT!!!!!
"You"re right. I"m sorry, you weren"t to know. I hope I didn"t scare you too much." His voice was kind and I was surprised. I was sure he sounded a little bit guilty as he asked me about being frightened. I was scared to open my mouth again in case something equally as stupid came rushing out like verbal Diarrhoea. I coughed clearing my throat before saying, "It"s ok, I guess my mind just plays tricks on me sometimes." He turned his head towards me taking his eyes off the road. I wasn"t sure this was a good idea as it felt like we were going over a hundred miles an hour. He looked as if he wanted to ask something but stopped himself. I was burning to know what it was so I turned and said, "What?" I didn"t know where all this "new found" confidence was coming from. Then I started to worry about the bang to my head and wondered if that was the reason. Well did it really matter if this was all a dream anyway...although now I wasn"t so sure.
"You don"t think like other people do, do you?" His face was serious and I realised that he wasn"t making fun of me anymore. He actually thought I was crazy. This was like a flaming arrow to the heart. I was so sensitive about my mental health it was like my Achilles heel. When I didn"t respond he looked at my face for the reason why. I must have looked like a spoilt child because I just folded my arms and looked out of the window. I mean what did he want me to say, "Yes I"m a freak!"
"Trust me, that"s not a bad thing." He said this and his hand moved as though he wanted to touch me but instead he put it back on the steering wheel. I was about to answer him but the car filled with the sound of ABBA and my heart almost stopped. The words "Gimme Gimme Gimme " sang over and over and when I didn"t move he said, "I"m pretty sure that"s yours." And laughed again only this time he couldn"t wipe the smirk from his face.
I fumbled in my bag and said "It"s my sister"s phone." But I doubted he believed me. I looked at the number I knew it was RJ. s.h.i.t! I had forgotten them completely and answered the phone wishing this night would just end and my humiliation with it.
"Hey RJ, look I"m sorry...OH... hey Jack, I thought it was, oh no I had to go home, I wasn"t feeling too good." Draven all of a sudden went very serious and his hands tensed on the wheel. I didn"t understand why but I carried on with the conversation, wanting to get off the phone as quickly as possible.
"Yeah, I"m sorry I was going to call, no it"s ok I"m nearly home." Jack didn"t sound pleased and Draven didn"t look happy.
"No I"m fine I just hit my head. No, no, in the woods not at work, look I will talk to you later ok, honestly I"m fine it"s just a scratch." Draven shot me a look as if to say liar!
"Ok yeah well I"ll talk to you tomorrow then, sorry what? Who am I driving home with...umm" s.h.i.t, s.h.i.t, s.h.i.t, I didn"t know what to say. I didn"t think that Draven would want anyone to know about this so I said, "Frank, yeah... ok then... see ya." I let out a sigh and put my head back against the seat. My head felt like it was splitting in two. I could feel a pair of eyes staring at me but I didn"t want to look. The atmosphere had changed since the phone call and I wished I hadn"t answered it and called from the house instead. I felt as though I should say something but I couldn"t think of what.
"Sorry about that, I forgot that I was getting a lift home with some friends." My voice went back to its usual pathetic weak tone. I knew the confidence thing wouldn"t last. But now I wasn"t sure if I was happy about that since Draven still hadn"t said a word.
"Frank?" Was all he said and I was guessing he wanted to know who that was so I told him.
"Frank"s my brother in law, and he picks me up most nights." He shook his head as if he knew this already and I didn"t know what else he meant. Then it hit me maybe he wanted to know why I had said it was Frank driving me home instead of him but why would he care. But we were pulling into the gravel drive and I knew I would soon be getting out and saying goodbye. I told myself that I wouldn"t linger I would just say thanks and get out. He must be bored already and desperate for some real company, the kind that he was used to. He stopped the car and cut the engine.
But the last thing that I wanted was to get out of this car.
Chapter 19 - Draven and Doctors.
Draven got out of the car and walked around the back to my side of the door. He did all this before I had time to react, so I grabbed for the handle but couldn"t find one. He opened my door and looked as though he was about to carry me out.
"I"m ok to walk now, thanks." He backed away slightly but leant one hand on the car over my head.
"Ok, let"s see it." He said, being c.o.c.ky, like he knew I would fall. Of course he was right. As soon as I tried to stand I nearly fell backwards on to the seat. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up then in one swift movement had me safely back in his arms once again.
"I"m really ok now, just a bit wobbly but I"m good now." His arms tightened around me and I realised for the first time he didn"t have his jacket on any more. He must be freezing but if he was there was no evidence to show it. He must have taken it off before getting in the car but I was too scared to notice much back then.
I could see the definition of his muscles in his forearms and his big strong hands that held my legs in an iron hold. My heart did another one of its trademark flutters as I wished for this gesture to be for another reason, one of a more s.e.xual nature. He walked up the steps and the door was opened by my poor sister who was already in her pyjamas with bunnies and carrots patterned over them.
Ah, it looked like it could have been worse after all. I could be in his arms right now wearing that. The look on her face was one I would never forget. Her jaw actually dropped open. I doubted that she had ever seen Draven before so the sight of me in the arms of the most astonishingly handsome stranger was enough to make any woman"s jaw drop. h.e.l.l mine did and that was just in my dreams.
Draven smiled at her and I decided to speak, as Libby hadn"t yet.