Both women murmured appropriate apologetic responses, but neither one seemed sincere.
"I should go," Katherine said.
"If there"s anything we can do to help you, I hope you"ll let us know," Leeanne replied. "We"d hate to see a young woman like yourself, a stranger in town, get herself into an embarra.s.sing situation. How long did you say you"d be staying?"
Katherine couldn"t imagine being any more embarra.s.sed than she was at this very moment. Leeanne and Mary Jo had made it quite clear she was an interloper, unwanted in their little corner of the world. "I"m not sure yet."
"You"ll be wanting to speak to J.T., I a.s.sume," Mary Jo said, rising to her feet. She looked into Katherine"s eyes. "I can"t stop you, but I"d ask you to think about it first. Think about all of it. Leeanne has children who adore their father. And J.T. and I, we ... well, we have a life that doesn"t need any more trouble." Her eyes grew teary. "Oh, dear. I can"t do this." Mary Jo grabbed her purse and practically ran out of the restaurant.
Leanne muttered a good-bye and hastily followed, leaving Katherine alone in the lobby, wondering why the heck she"d ever thought coming to Kentucky was a good idea.
Monday morning, Katherine awoke feeling refreshed but still doubtful about her quest to find her father. She"d dreamed about the people she"d met, wondering how she could fit into any of their lives. And when she wasn"t dreaming about them, she was dreaming about Zach, feeling his arms slide around her, tasting his mouth, hearing his voice. How had it all gotten so complicated?
After having breakfast in her room, the safest way to prevent any more unexpected encounters with suspicious wives, Katherine got dressed and walked down to Golden"s just before noon. She wasn"t sure Zach would come, but even if he didn"t, she needed the chance to look through the photos and see if she could find something.
But after yesterday, Katherine realized that she hadn"t ever considered all the angles. Would her discovery tear apart a happy family?
"Katherine," Justin said with a wave. "I was hoping you"d come in before it got too busy." He set down a wet cloth on the counter top and stepped around the bar. "The office is in the back."
"Thanks, I really appreciate this."
"No problem."
Justin led her into a room that was stuffed full of filing cabinets and one paper-laden desk that stood in the corner. "Photos in the bottom two drawers of the cabinet," he said. "After you go through those, let me know. There are a couple of boxes down in the bas.e.m.e.nt."
"Wow. You do have a lot of pictures."
"My father was a shutterbug."
"Well, I hope he captured my mother in one."
"For your sake, I hope so, too."
Katherine walked over to the filing cabinet and opened the bottom drawer. "I"m almost afraid to look at these."
"For fear you won"t find your mother-or you will?"
She saw the twinkle in his shrewd eyes and smiled. "I"m that transparent?"
"Being a bartender, I"m pretty good at reading people." Justin stopped as Zach walked into the room. He raised an eyebrow in surprise. "What are you doing here?"
Zach"s expression was hard, and his frown spoke volumes about his disposition. "I"m paying off a bet."
Justin looked from Zach to Katherine and back to Zach. "You must have lost."
"The bet was a riding lesson," Katherine reminded him. She turned toward the filing cabinet so she wouldn"t have to look at Zach. She tried to sound casual, because seeing him again had already set her nerves on edge.
She couldn"t look at his lips, because his mouth reminded her of their pa.s.sionate kiss in the truck the day before. And she couldn"t look at his eyes, because if she saw even a hint of desire, she"d probably throw herself into his arms in front of Justin and embarra.s.s both of them.
"You said either or," Zach replied, coming up behind her. He slid his hands around her waist and pulled her against his chest. Her heart skipped a beat as his warm breath teased her earlobe.
"Zach, Justin-"
"Is gone," he said. "It"s just you and me." His tongue snaked a hot line around her earlobe.
She gasped. "Zach, don"t."
"You don"t like it? Because I love your ears. They"re so perfectly shaped, so delicate. Did I tell you I love long, dangly earrings like the ones you"re wearing?"
She swallowed hard. "I didn"t wear them for you."
"I like your dress, too, shows off your legs. Did I ever tell you how much I like legs?"
"I think you just like women," she said, turning in his embrace. She"d thought she"d unsettle his hands from her waist, but he simply rearranged his grip.
He was smiling now, looking far more pleased than when he"d walked in the door.
"What"s so funny?" she asked.
"You"re so easy to shake up."
"And you enjoy it so much."
"I do. I really do."
"Are you going to help me look at photos or-"
"Or spend my lunch hour kissing you senseless? Hmmmm, I"m not sure."
She gave him a playful swat on the chest. "I think I have a say in who"s kissing me."
"And I think you"ll say yes."
Katherine couldn"t help a grin. "Probably, because where you"re concerned, I"m very, very weak. But I came here for a reason. So let"s get to it." She reached over to the cabinet, retrieved a stack of photos, and set them on the desk.
Zach pulled up a chair in front of the desk as she picked up the first photo. It was of another couple at Golden"s, but judging by the sixties clothes, it had been taken years before her mother would have been in Paradise. The next few photos were just as ordinary, just as unrevealing.
"What am I looking for?" Zach asked a few minutes later. "I don"t know what your mother looked like."
"Well, maybe you could look for photos with J.T. or Justin or Jimmy and see if there are any women that you don"t recognize." Katherine walked around the desk and sat down.
"All right," Zach replied.
He sounded doubtful, as hopeless as she was beginning to feel. Thirty minutes later, they"d picked out a few photos of J.T. and Mary Jo as well as a couple of Justin and his wife, but nothing of Jimmy and no one who reminded Katherine of her mother.
"Maybe I should quit," she said, sitting back in her chair with a weary stretch. "What am I trying to prove anyway?"
"h.e.l.l if I know," Zach said, studying a photo. "This is Jeff Ridgeway. I don"t recognize the woman with him."
"Who is Jeff Ridgeway?" Katherine asked.
"He works over at J.T."s farm. Take a look." He handed her the photo? "Do you recognize her?"
The woman had blond, almost white, hair down to her waist, and she was looking directly at the camera. She looked nothing like her mother, and Katherine felt her heart sink once again. "It"s not her," she said with a shake of her head. "I"m thinking about quitting, Zach."
"Well, these pictures may be a waste of time," he agreed. "You might be better off talking to people directly."
"No, I mean quitting everything."
He looked at her in surprise. "Why?"
"Yesterday, after you dropped me off, Leeanne Callaway and Mary Jo Baker were waiting for me. They were polite, but they made it clear I wasn"t welcome. Mary Jo wanted to know if I"d thought of all the people I might hurt, like Mrs. Callaway"s children."
"Leeanne"s children are grown and gone from the nest."
"They might still be hurt to find out their father had a love affair all those years ago."
"They might also be your siblings," Zach pointed out.
Siblings? She"d never considered siblings. And yet she"d longed for brothers and sisters. How wonderful it would be to find some now. But would they want to know her? They were probably happy as they were.
Zach rested his elbows on the desk and stared at her with what looked like disappointment. "You can"t just give up."
"Why not? You"ve been telling me to do that since I got here."
"I know, but I didn"t know then what I know now. You want this, Katherine. You want it more than anything."
"I thought I did. I believed that my father didn"t know about me and that finding him would make him as happy as it would make me. I know that was naive, but it"s the way I felt."
"It still could make him happy. You won"t know for sure until you find him."
"Or he might be furious that I"ve tracked him down. And what about all the people I might hurt? How can I just walk in and upset everyone"s life?"
"You"re too d.a.m.n soft," Zach murmured.
"I care about what people think. I do."
"I know you do. But dreams come with costs. Nothing is free. And people get hurt even when you don"t want them to." He reached across the desk. "Give me your hand."
"Why?"
"Because you need someone to pull you out."
"Pull me out of where?"
"Out of the hole you"ve thrown yourself into. Give me your hand."
Katherine put her hand in his, feeling energized by his strong warm grip.
"You said you wanted to walk on the high wire," he reminded her.
"And you said I might fall-and if I did, you wouldn"t be there to catch me. Maybe I just realized I need a safety net."
"Then you"ve got one."
"You?"
"Why not?"
She studied his face, seeing the compa.s.sion in his eyes, an empathy she would never have expected to see in Zach. "Why the sudden change in att.i.tude?"
He shook his head as if unsure of the answer himself. Finally he spoke. "You got a b.u.m deal, not knowing your dad, losing your mom when you were a kid. I do remember what it was like to be alone. If it were me, I"d leave the past in the past, because I have a father I"d like to get rid of, but I"m not you. And I think if you give up now, you"ll be sorry for the rest of your life. I know a little bit about impossible dreams."
Zach got up, walked around the desk and leaned over to kiss her on the forehead. "Now I need to get back to work. Call me later and tell me if you find anything."
She looked up at him. "That wasn"t much of a kiss."
"If I start kissing you now, I won"t stop, and I"m not sure Justin would appreciate us rolling all over his paperwork."
"You are bad."
He sent her a s.e.xy grin. "Someday I"m going to show you just how bad I am."
Her heart was still racing when he walked through the door, leaving her with a pile of dusty photos and a desire to follow him home and have him make good on his promise. But she had a job to do, and since she"d promised Zach she wouldn"t quit, she might as well get to it.
Fifteen minutes later Justin appeared in the doorway with a Diet c.o.ke. He set it down on the desk. "Thought you might be thirsty. I see Zach didn"t stick around too long."
"He had work to do."
"Have you found anything?"
"Not yet." She hesitated, then decided she wasn"t getting too far with the photos, she might as well try something a little more direct. "There"s something I haven"t told you. I"m not just looking for my mother"s past, I"m looking for my father. A few months ago I found a letter in an old chest, and it led me to believe that my father and mother might have lived here in Paradise. He might still live here. And he might not know he has a daughter."
Justin"s expression didn"t change at all. He looked helpful, curious, but not afraid. She hated to change all that, but she had to tell him the rest. "My mother addressed the letter to someone with the first initial J. And in the chest I also found lots of c.o.c.ktail napkins and matchbooks from here, from Golden"s. She must have come here a lot to see someone."
Now the familiar wary expression entered his eyes. "Your father"s name started with a J, and you think he might have come to Golden"s, maybe even worked here?"
"I"m not accusing you."
"My name does start with J. And I"m old enough to be your father."
"Yes. But you said you didn"t know an Evelyn Jones, and I believe you."
He nodded. "I didn"t lie about that." He paused, scratching the corner of his jaw. "Let"s see, you were asking about 1972. I was married then, you know. My wife, Karen, and I have always been faithful to each other."
"Then it couldn"t be you," she said with a heavy heart. She wouldn"t have minded having Justin for a father. He was kind and compa.s.sionate and didn"t seem to play games. There was no reason to believe he was playing one now.