Anna heard the hollering voices, felt the carriage rock with laser fire, before it was clear to her what was happening. A troop of Toy Soldiers had surrounded the carriage, and now they were pulling Android Karenina off of her. Standing on the street was the terrified carriage driver, gesticulating wildly; the children screamed; the horses bucked; all was confusion.
Her mind in a fog, Anna tumbled out of the carriage, slipped past the huddle of soldiers around Android Karenina, and staggered alone down the street.
CHAPTER 17.
ACCEPT WHAT YOU ARE," Android Karenina had said; Anna tried to shake those grim and terrible words from her mind. Android Karenina had said; Anna tried to shake those grim and terrible words from her mind. Yes; what was the last thing I thought of so clearly? Yes; what was the last thing I thought of so clearly? She tried to recall it. She tried to recall it. Yes, of what they say, the struggle for existence and hatred is the one thing that holds men together. Yes, of what they say, the struggle for existence and hatred is the one thing that holds men together.
No, it"s a useless journey you"re making, she said, mentally addressing a party in a coach evidently going for an excursion into the country. she said, mentally addressing a party in a coach evidently going for an excursion into the country. And And the dog you"re taking with you will be no help to you. the dog you"re taking with you will be no help to you. They sought happiness, as she had, but all happiness would soon be drowned in the rising tide of the New Russia. Unless . . . unless . . . They sought happiness, as she had, but all happiness would soon be drowned in the rising tide of the New Russia. Unless . . . unless . . .
No, she thought, her humanity a.s.serting itself, as it were, against the logical imperatives of the Mechanism inside her. she thought, her humanity a.s.serting itself, as it were, against the logical imperatives of the Mechanism inside her. I cannot! I cannot!
Leaning momentarily against an ancient stone wall of an old factory to catch her breath, she saw a factory hand almost dead drunk, with hanging head, being led away by a policeman. Come, he"s found a quicker way, Come, he"s found a quicker way, she thought. she thought. Count Vronsky and I did not find that happiness either, though we expected so much from it. Count Vronsky and I did not find that happiness either, though we expected so much from it.
Anna now for the first time turned that Visionary-Hundredfold through which she was seeing everything onto her relations with him. What was it he sought in me? Not love so much as the satisfaction of vanity. What was it he sought in me? Not love so much as the satisfaction of vanity. She remembered his words, the expression of his face, which recalled an abject setter-dog, in the early days of their connection. And everything now confirmed this. She remembered his words, the expression of his face, which recalled an abject setter-dog, in the early days of their connection. And everything now confirmed this. Yes, there was the triumph of success in him. Of course there was love too, but the chief element was the pride of success. He boasted of me. Now that"s over. There"s nothing to be proud of. Not to be proud of, but to be ashamed of. He has taken from me all he could, and now I am no use to him. The zest is gone, as the English say. That fellow wants everyone to admire him and is very much pleased with himself, Yes, there was the triumph of success in him. Of course there was love too, but the chief element was the pride of success. He boasted of me. Now that"s over. There"s nothing to be proud of. Not to be proud of, but to be ashamed of. He has taken from me all he could, and now I am no use to him. The zest is gone, as the English say. That fellow wants everyone to admire him and is very much pleased with himself, she thought, staggering past a red-faced clerk, who gaped at her disheveled, exhausted appearance. she thought, staggering past a red-faced clerk, who gaped at her disheveled, exhausted appearance. Yes, there"s not the same flavor about me for him now. Only imagine I were to tell him this truth that I have discovered, that I am not a proper woman at all, but a Cla.s.s XII android; he will flee from me. He will report me to the Ministry, he will ensure that I am melted in the Tower bas.e.m.e.nt, and he will be glad for his freedom. Yes, there"s not the same flavor about me for him now. Only imagine I were to tell him this truth that I have discovered, that I am not a proper woman at all, but a Cla.s.s XII android; he will flee from me. He will report me to the Ministry, he will ensure that I am melted in the Tower bas.e.m.e.nt, and he will be glad for his freedom.
She felt she saw the truth distinctly in the piercing light.
We walked to meet each other up to the time of our love, and then we have been irresistibly drifting in different directions. And there"s no altering that, especially now. Now I see that it never could have been otherwise-he is a person, and I a machine. But . . . She opened her lips, aroused by the thought that suddenly struck her. She opened her lips, aroused by the thought that suddenly struck her. If I could be anything but a mistress, pa.s.sionately caring for nothing but his caresses; but I can"t and I don"t care to be anything else. If without loving me, from If I could be anything but a mistress, pa.s.sionately caring for nothing but his caresses; but I can"t and I don"t care to be anything else. If without loving me, from duty duty he"ll be good and kind to me, without what I want, that"s a thousand times worse than unkindness! That"s-h.e.l.l! If I cannot have his love, his pa.s.sion, I would rather be the killing machine Android Karenina tells me I have been engineered to be! And that"s just how it is. For a long while now he hasn"t loved me. And where love ends, hate begins. he"ll be good and kind to me, without what I want, that"s a thousand times worse than unkindness! That"s-h.e.l.l! If I cannot have his love, his pa.s.sion, I would rather be the killing machine Android Karenina tells me I have been engineered to be! And that"s just how it is. For a long while now he hasn"t loved me. And where love ends, hate begins.
"A ticket to Petersburg?"
She realized now that she had stopped her progress just outside the gates of the Grav station; she had utterly forgotten where and why she was going, and only by a great effort she understood the question.
"Yes," she said, and, answering her befuddled inquiry, the ticket-taker gruffly informed her that the Grav had some minutes still before it was bound to arrive. As she made her way through the crowd to the first-cla.s.s waiting room, she gradually recollected all the details of her position, and the plans between which she was hesitating. To go to St. Petersburg and complete this terrible errand; or to stay, to seek out Vronsky, explain what she was, stake her hopes on his understanding, his willingness to begin afresh under such changed circ.u.mstances. And again at the old sore places, hope and then despair poisoned the wounds of her tortured, fearfully throbbing heart. As she sat on the star-shaped sofa waiting for the Grav, she gazed with aversion at the people coming and going, and they were all hateful to her. She thought of how Vronsky was at this moment complaining too of his position, not understanding her sufferings, and how she would find him, and what she would say to him. Then she thought that life might still be happy, and how miserably she loved and hated him, and how fearfully her heart was beating. If her mind had been overrun by the machine, her heart at least belonged to her. . . .
A tear, comprised of a complex a.s.sortment of proteins and silicates suspended in an aqueous solution, rolled slowly down her cheek.
CHAPTER 18.
STILL ANNA WAITED. She read but could not understand, in her overwrought state, a sign announcing the impending replacement of this Grav with something called a "train," and explicating in righteous and moralistic terms the spiritual benefits of the longer waits, cramped conditions, and ricketier rides that could be expected. Finally a bell rang, announcing the Grav"s arrival in short order, and some young men, ugly and impudent, and at the same time careful of the impression they were making, hurried by. Some noisy men were quiet as she pa.s.sed them on the platform, and one whispered something about her to another-something vile, no doubt. A grotesque-looking lady wearing a bustle (Anna mentally undressed the woman, and was appalled at her hideousness) and a little girl laughing affectedly ran down the platform. She read but could not understand, in her overwrought state, a sign announcing the impending replacement of this Grav with something called a "train," and explicating in righteous and moralistic terms the spiritual benefits of the longer waits, cramped conditions, and ricketier rides that could be expected. Finally a bell rang, announcing the Grav"s arrival in short order, and some young men, ugly and impudent, and at the same time careful of the impression they were making, hurried by. Some noisy men were quiet as she pa.s.sed them on the platform, and one whispered something about her to another-something vile, no doubt. A grotesque-looking lady wearing a bustle (Anna mentally undressed the woman, and was appalled at her hideousness) and a little girl laughing affectedly ran down the platform.
Even the child"s hideous and affected, thought Anna. To avoid seeing anyone, she walked past them quickly and seated herself at a far bench. A misshapen-looking peasant covered with dirt, in a cap from which his tangled hair stuck out all round, shuffled slowly by, staring at the long, powerful magnet bed, and Anna was reminded of the man who had been struck and killed by the Grav, at this very station, the day she first met Alexei Kirillovich; she moved to the next bench, shaking with terror. A moment later, a man and his wife motioned to the seat next to her. thought Anna. To avoid seeing anyone, she walked past them quickly and seated herself at a far bench. A misshapen-looking peasant covered with dirt, in a cap from which his tangled hair stuck out all round, shuffled slowly by, staring at the long, powerful magnet bed, and Anna was reminded of the man who had been struck and killed by the Grav, at this very station, the day she first met Alexei Kirillovich; she moved to the next bench, shaking with terror. A moment later, a man and his wife motioned to the seat next to her.
"May we sit here?"
Anna, lost in her thoughts, gave no answer. Alexei can never love me; that I must admit to myself: he has already ceased to love me, and once he understands that I am a machine-woman, he will be glad for the excuse to be through with our connection. Alexei can never love me; that I must admit to myself: he has already ceased to love me, and once he understands that I am a machine-woman, he will be glad for the excuse to be through with our connection.
The couple did not notice, under her veil, her panic-stricken face. They seated themselves, and intently but surrept.i.tiously scrutinized her clothes. Both husband and wife seemed repulsive to Anna. The husband asked, would she allow him to smoke, obviously not with a view to smoking but to getting into conversation with her. Taking her silence for a.s.sent, he said to his wife in French something about caring less to smoke than to talk. They made inane and affected remarks to one another about how they hoped this ride would be free of koschei, and about how someone or other"s old maiden aunt had been eaten by an alien; all these comments, she felt sure, made entirely for her benefit. Anna saw clearly that they were sick of each other, and hated each other. And no one could have helped hating such miserable monstrosities.
A second bell sounded, and was followed by moving of luggage, noise, shouting and laughter. It was so clear to Anna that there was nothing for anyone to be glad of, that this laughter irritated her agonizingly, and she would have liked to stop up her ears not to hear it. At last the third bell rang, there was the electric crackle in the air, the loud, bright hum of the repulsion magnets engaging, and the man next to her crossed himself. It would be interesting to ask him what meaning he attaches to that, It would be interesting to ask him what meaning he attaches to that, thought Anna, looking angrily at him. She rapidly rose from the bench; in a moment she forgot the couple who had so irritated her, and she stood on the platform, breathing the fresh air. thought Anna, looking angrily at him. She rapidly rose from the bench; in a moment she forgot the couple who had so irritated her, and she stood on the platform, breathing the fresh air.
Yes, what did I stop at? That I couldn"t conceive a position in which life would not be a misery, that we are all created to be miserable; some of us are created by G.o.d, and some of us by man. We all invent means of deceiving each other. And when one understands the truth, what is one to do?
Yes, I"m very much worried, for my mind has been subsumed by a machine, a machine with a deadly purpose in contravention of all that my heart cries out that I am! This is what reason was given me for, to escape; so then one must escape: why not put out the light when there"s nothing more to look at, when it"s sickening to look at it all? But how?
Why are they talking, why are they laughing? It"s all falsehood, all lying, all humbug, all cruelty! . . . all humbug, all cruelty! . . .
The cruelty, the cruelty of this machine that was a part of her, forever a part. She had insisted to Android Karenina that she could not perform such a mission, and yet-as long as she lived, this cruel Mechanism would be lurking within her, bidding her to kill, to destroy, to do evil.
With a rapid, light step she went down the steps that led from the platform to the magnet bed and saw in the near distance the approaching Grav.
She looked at the lower part of its carriages, at the rivets and wires and the long, vibrating pylons of the first carriage slowly oscillating, and tried to measure the middle between the left and right pylons, and the very minute when the Grav would arrive.
There, she said to herself, looking into the shadow of the carriage, as the sunlight reflected magnificently off the spotless prow of the Grav. she said to herself, looking into the shadow of the carriage, as the sunlight reflected magnificently off the spotless prow of the Grav. There, in the very middle, and I will punish him, and I will escape from this hateful machine that I have become. There, in the very middle, and I will punish him, and I will escape from this hateful machine that I have become.
A feeling such as she had known when about to take the first plunge in bathing came upon her, and she crossed herself. And exactly at the moment when she could wait no longer, she drew her head back into her shoulders, fell on her hands under the carriage, and lightly, as though she would rise again at once, dropped on to her knees. And at the same instant she was terror-stricken at what she was doing. Where am I? What am I doing? What for? Where am I? What am I doing? What for? She tried to get up, to drop backward but something huge and merciless struck her on the head and rolled her on her back. She tried to get up, to drop backward but something huge and merciless struck her on the head and rolled her on her back. Lord, forgive me all! Lord, forgive me all! she thought, feeling it impossible to struggle. she thought, feeling it impossible to struggle.
And the monitor on which she had viewed that great communique filled with troubles, falsehoods, sorrow, and evil, flared up more brightly than ever before, lighted up for her all that had been in darkness, flickered, began to grow dim, and was quenched forever.
"I WILL PUNISH HIM, AND I WILL ESCAPE FROM THIS HATEFUL MACHINE THAT I HAVE BECOME"
CHAPTER 19.
ANDROID KARENINA, HAVING ESCAPED the crowd of Toy Soldiers who set upon her at the carriage and having found Anna nowhere in sight, retreated to the safe house in an obscure Moscow neighborhood where her one confidante in this world awaited: a squat and bearded man in a dusty white laboratory coat, who wore a small box with numerous small b.u.t.tons on his belt. the crowd of Toy Soldiers who set upon her at the carriage and having found Anna nowhere in sight, retreated to the safe house in an obscure Moscow neighborhood where her one confidante in this world awaited: a squat and bearded man in a dusty white laboratory coat, who wore a small box with numerous small b.u.t.tons on his belt.
The man from UnConSciya recounted to Android Karenina what had become of Anna Arkadyevna. The Cla.s.s IX robot from the future took the news of Anna"s fate with evident sadness, her eyebank flashing to melancholy blue.
"And the body?"
He nodded, smoothed his dirty beard. "We shall disintegrate all trace of it, that Tsar Alexei may not discover the Mechanism."
"No," said Android Karenina, softly. "I have another idea."
The Phoenix G.o.dmouth disgorged Anna Karenina"s body in the same place, on the magnet bed of the Moscow Grav, on a cold day some years earlier. At the moment the body emerged from the maw of the G.o.dmouth, the sky ricocheted with a queer sort of thunder-a crack in the sky crack in the sky that echoed across all the infinities of that instant and was noted with apprehension both by Count Alexei Kirillovich Vronsky, who was at the station to meet his mother, and by Anna Arkadyevna Karenina, a fashionable lady and the wife of a prominent government minister. that echoed across all the infinities of that instant and was noted with apprehension both by Count Alexei Kirillovich Vronsky, who was at the station to meet his mother, and by Anna Arkadyevna Karenina, a fashionable lady and the wife of a prominent government minister.
Shortly thereafter, there occurred a frightful commotion on the platform, as the news raced about of a grim discovery: a pair pair of battered bodies, a man and a woman, evidently smashed by the rushing weight of the oncoming Grav, had been discovered together upon the magnet bed. Count Vronsky, who only moments earlier had been introduced to Anna Karenina and utterly bewitched, now felt deeply disconcerted by the sight of these two corpses, man and woman, lying together amid the grim finality of death. of battered bodies, a man and a woman, evidently smashed by the rushing weight of the oncoming Grav, had been discovered together upon the magnet bed. Count Vronsky, who only moments earlier had been introduced to Anna Karenina and utterly bewitched, now felt deeply disconcerted by the sight of these two corpses, man and woman, lying together amid the grim finality of death.
Though station workers had quickly covered the bodies under a cloth, a delicate hand could be seen extending outward plaintively toward the platform. Vronsky looked again at Anna, with whom he had been so immediately smitten, to find her staring in unspeaking horror at the scene. Overcome by a distinct sense of cosmic unease, he bowed politely and bid her farewell. If she took notice of him, she gave no sign.
Vronsky made no further effort to pursue an acquaintance with Madame Karenina; did not ask her for the mazurka at Kitty Shcherbatsky"s float; and remained in Moscow for the remainder of the season.
EPILOGUE: THE NEW HISTORY.
IN THE SLANTING EVENING SHADOWS cast by the baggage piled up on the platform, Vronsky in his long regimental overcoat and gleaming silver hat, with his hands in his pockets, strode up and down, like a proud lion displaying himself for an admiring crowd, turning sharply after twenty paces. His beloved-companion robot, Lupo, strutted along behind him as always, the silver paneling of his lupine frame glimmering beautifully in the late-day sun, as together man and machine awaited departure on their newest a.s.signment. cast by the baggage piled up on the platform, Vronsky in his long regimental overcoat and gleaming silver hat, with his hands in his pockets, strode up and down, like a proud lion displaying himself for an admiring crowd, turning sharply after twenty paces. His beloved-companion robot, Lupo, strutted along behind him as always, the silver paneling of his lupine frame glimmering beautifully in the late-day sun, as together man and machine awaited departure on their newest a.s.signment.
Vronsky"s old friend and fellow soldier Yashvin fancied, as he approached him, that Vronsky saw him but was pretending not to see. This did not affect Yashvin in the slightest: interested only in his own advancement, and distinctly aware of the high regimental perch Vronsky now inhabited, Yashvin was above all personal dignity. At that moment Yashvin looked upon Vronsky as a man at the pinnacle of a remarkable career, and would think himself foolish to miss any opportunity to thrust himself before the great man. He went up to him.
Vronsky stood still, looked intently at him, recognized him, and going a few steps forward to meet him, shook hands with him very warmly.
"Well, now, Alexei Kirillovich," said Yashvin. "As strange as it feels to see any Russian soldier setting off on such a mission, I can imagine none other but you undertaking it. Did you ever imagine we would see such a day arrive?"
"I have had a feeling for some years that things were going this way," said Vronsky, turning his head for a moment to admire the figure of a fashionable woman with a charming, fuchsia Cla.s.s III. "Since the rise of Stremov, you know, with his decidedly liberal bent on the Robot Question. After the death of the . . . oh, dear, you know the fellow I mean. With the unusual face."
Yashvin hurried to fill in the gap, eager to impress Vronsky with his understanding. "Karenin."
"Yes, that"s right. Karenin."
Vronsky"s jaw twitched impatiently from the incessant, gnawing toothache that prevented him from even speaking with a natural expression. The Karenin affair had been rather a shocking incident, now that he recalled it: a minister of the Higher Branches, murdered by his wife in his own bed. "He was a hardliner on mechanical development, that Karenin. Stremov always gave every impression of seeing things in a different light. Though it will certainly feel strange, as you say, to sit on the opposite side of a bargaining table with UnConSciya."
"Yes, well . . . ," Yashvin began. Vronsky looked off into the distance as they heard the pleasant thrum of the arriving Grav. Right on time, reliable and efficient as always.
"I am sorry to intrude upon your solitude. I merely meant to offer you my services," saidYashvin finally, scanning Vronsky"s face. "To deliver one"s brother-men from endless war is an aim worth death and life. G.o.d grant you success outwardly-and inwardly peace," he added, and he held out his hand. Vronsky warmly pressed his outstretched hand, and began to respond, when suddenly he could hardly speak for a throbbing ache in his strong teeth, which were like rows of ivory in his mouth. And all at once a different pain, not an ache, but an inner trouble that set his whole being in confusion, made him for an instant forget his toothache. To make peace with UnConScyia was unquestionably a great boon for Russia and the Russian people, but what did it mean for him? him? The only purpose his life had known, the only star around which the planet of his being had ever revolved, was the making of war, the heavy grinding power of the Exterior suit in motion, the searing flash of the whip. Vronsky"s eyes took in the arriving Grav, elegantly whooshing forward on its magnet bed. He thought suddenly of a half-remembered girl, of Princess Kitty Shcherbatskaya: one of a dozen or more such girls whose head he had turned, at one time or another, with easy talk of love. The only purpose his life had known, the only star around which the planet of his being had ever revolved, was the making of war, the heavy grinding power of the Exterior suit in motion, the searing flash of the whip. Vronsky"s eyes took in the arriving Grav, elegantly whooshing forward on its magnet bed. He thought suddenly of a half-remembered girl, of Princess Kitty Shcherbatskaya: one of a dozen or more such girls whose head he had turned, at one time or another, with easy talk of love. She is married now She is married now, Vronsky thought, to that funny man, that miner. . . . to that funny man, that miner. . . .
For one cold moment, Vronsky saw himself reflected in the mighty silver prow of the Grav in the most uncharitable and unforgiving light: a body approaching middle age, a soldier lacking a war, a man lacking a wife.
He rubbed at his aching chin, and Lupo let out a little querying yelp.
"Yes, yes, old friend. Of course. I still have you."
Just at that moment, the sun dipped below the horizon line, and Vronsky and his Cla.s.s III climbed aboard the Grav.
EPILOGUE: THE OLD FUTURE.
CHAPTER 1.
ALMOST TWO MONTHS had pa.s.sed since Anna"s suicide at the Grav. The hot summer was half over, and Count Alexei Kirillovich Vronsky was on his way to deep s.p.a.ce. had pa.s.sed since Anna"s suicide at the Grav. The hot summer was half over, and Count Alexei Kirillovich Vronsky was on his way to deep s.p.a.ce.
The horrifying death of Anna Arkadyevna Karenina had generated the inevitable deluge of scandalous conversation; but, as is so often the case, even this most salacious bit of gossip grew stale, and soon gave way to the next item of interest. Which, in this case, was a most shocking item indeed: The home planet of the Honored Guests had been located. A speck on the star maps of the astronomers, a smear of red dust flickering in the shadow of the moon, this planetoid was quickly dubbed the Nest by a public hungry for news of the invaders; it became de rigeur at society gatherings for someone to trot out a telescope, so all present could glance with fearful wonderment at the home of the enemy.
"We would be remiss, however, only to look and not to act." This was the challenge posed to the people of Russia by that man now openly acknowledged to be their one and only leader, Alexei Alexandrovich Karenin, known lovingly as Tsar Alexei: The King With No Face. His head enrobed in shimmering metal, carrying himself with the pomp and solemnity befitting the recently bereaved, the great man stood before the people at Petersburg Square and announced the momentous decision: Our forces, the brave regiments of Russia, would travel aboard specially designed shuttles to the Nest, wherefrom the lizard-like aliens and their worm-machine steeds had emerged, and launch a counter-attack.
"Know, my people, that this decision was not an easy one, for our courage will inevitably cost us many lives. But still it is necessary that we go-for the "Honored Guests" have made it clear that they shall not stop until we are defeated, and that cannot be allowed.
"Now we we shall be the guests," Karenin concluded, waving his metal fist. "And they the most unwilling hosts." shall be the guests," Karenin concluded, waving his metal fist. "And they the most unwilling hosts."
YES, hissed the Face, even as Alexei stepped off the podium and the crowd roared its approval. hissed the Face, even as Alexei stepped off the podium and the crowd roared its approval. LET THE REGIMENTS COME. LET THE MIGHTY REGIMENTS COME. LET THE REGIMENTS COME. LET THE MIGHTY REGIMENTS COME.
And so, as the blackness of s.p.a.ce rushed by outside, Vronsky in his long overcoat and slouch hat, with his hands in his pockets, strode up and down the unnaturally lit hallway of the shuttle, like a wild beast in a cage, turning sharply after twenty paces. His old comrade Yashvin fancied, as he approached him, that Vronsky saw him but was pretending not to see. This did not affect Yashvin in the slightest. At that moment Yashvin looked upon Vronsky as a man taking an important part in a great cause, and he thought it his duty to encourage him and express his approval. He went up to him.
Vronsky stood still, looked intently at him, recognized him, and going a few steps forward to meet him, shook hands with him very warmly.
"Possibly you didn"t wish to see me," Yashvin said, "but couldn"t I be of use to you?"
"There"s no one I should less dislike seeing than you," said Vronsky. "Excuse me; and there"s nothing in life for me to like."
"I quite understand, and I merely meant to offer you my companionship," said Yashvin, scanning Vronsky"s face, which was full of unmistakable suffering. "I am honored to count myself among your friends. Your volunteering to lead the first attack wave proves your great usefulness to the state."
"My use as a man," said Vronsky, "is that life"s worth nothing to me. And that I"ve enough bodily energy to cut my way into their ranks, and to trample on them or fall-I know that. I"m glad there"s something to give my life for, for it"s not simply useless but loathsome to me. Anyone"s welcome to it." And his jaw twitched impatiently from the incessant gnawing toothache that prevented him from even speaking with a natural expression.
"You will become another man, I predict," said Yashvin, feeling touched. "To deliver one"s planet from bondage is an aim worth death and life. G.o.d grant you success outwardly-and inwardly peace," he added, and he held out his hand. Vronsky warmly pressed his outstretched hand.
"Yes, as a weapon I may be of some use. But as a man, I"m a wreck," he jerked out.
He could hardly speak for the throbbing ache in his strong teeth, which were like rows of ivory in his mouth. And all at once a different pain, not an ache, but an inner trouble, that set his whole being in anguish, made him for an instant forget his toothache. Glancing out the window of the shuttle, he saw the Earth receding, growing smaller and smaller behind them. He suddenly recalled her her-imagined what she might have looked like, had he been permitted to see her before, he was told, the body had been whisked away; imagined her on a table in the Grav station, shamelessly sprawled out among strangers, the bloodstained body so lately full of life; the head unhurt, dropping back with its weight of hair, and the curling tresses about the temples, and the exquisite face, with red, half-opened mouth, the strange, fixed expression, piteous on the lips and awful in the still-open eyes, which seemed to utter that fearful phrase-that he would be sorry for it-that she had said when they were quarreling.
And he tried to think of her as she was when he met her the first time, mysterious, exquisite, loving, seeking and giving happiness, and not cruelly revengeful as he remembered her in that last moment. He tried to recall his best moments with her, but those moments were poisoned forever. He could only think of her as triumphant, successful in her menace of a wholly useless remorse never to be effaced. He lost all consciousness of his toothache, and his face worked with sobs.
CHAPTER 2.
KITTY, AS ALWAYS, knew that her child was crying even before she reached the nursery. And he was indeed crying. She heard him and hastened. But the faster she went, the louder he screamed. It was a fine, healthy scream, hungry and impatient. knew that her child was crying even before she reached the nursery. And he was indeed crying. She heard him and hastened. But the faster she went, the louder he screamed. It was a fine, healthy scream, hungry and impatient.
"Has he been screaming long, nurse, very long?" said Kitty hurriedly, seating herself on a chair, and preparing to give the baby the breast. "But give me him quickly. Oh, nurse, how tiresome you are! There, tie the cap afterwards, do!"
The baby"s greedy scream was pa.s.sing into sobs.
"But you can"t manage so, ma"am," said Agafea Mihalovna, who had remained in the household though her services as mecanicienne mecanicienne were no longer required." He must be put straight. A-oo! a-oo!" she chanted over him, paying no attention to the mother. were no longer required." He must be put straight. A-oo! a-oo!" she chanted over him, paying no attention to the mother.
The nurse brought the baby to his mother. Agafea Mihalovna followed him with a face dissolving with tenderness. "He knows me, he knows me. In G.o.d"s faith, Katerina Alexandrovna, ma"am, he knew me!" Agafea Mihalovna cried above the baby"s screams.