Angel"s Halo.
Reclaimed.
Terri Anne, Browning.
Prologue.
Felicity.
Not for the first time in my life, I wanted to run away. I"d been thinking about it more and more lately, and right at that moment it seemed like the smartest idea I"d ever had.
That was my problem, though. I had smart ideas, and then a certain blond Adonis biker would smile that smile that never failed to melt me and c.o.c.k his finger, and I"d forget every d.a.m.n smart thought I"d ever had. It"s the way it"s always been. I was a sucker for him and he knew it. Had used it against me from the day he"d looked at me as more than his baby sister"s best friend, and I"d broken my number one rule.
"You have that look on your face again," Raven Hannigan muttered as she walked by the stool where I was sitting.
I shrugged, not really sure what she was talking about and not giving a d.a.m.n either. It was Sat.u.r.day night and all I wanted was to be home in bed, to sleep until all this s.h.i.t was over. I sure as h.e.l.l didn"t want to be at Hannigans" bar, waiting on my ex to stop s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g around with one of the sheep long enough for me to tell him what I needed to tell him.
Since I hadn"t told Raven that I"d been sneaking around with her big bada.s.s brother-and the MC"s current president-I didn"t mention that to her now. She most likely thought I was sitting there waiting on her to get off work so we could go back to her house and gorge on foods that would go straight to my already fat a.s.s.
Not a bad idea, but I still had to deal with Jet Hannigan first.
Raven tossed a tray full of empty beer bottles into the huge trashcan behind the bar before turning to frown at me. Having Raven Hannigan frown at you was not something most people wanted to happen. If she had been doing it to any other person in the world, they would have probably been about to p.i.s.s themselves wondering what they had done to get on her bad side. When she frowned at me, I knew she wasn"t debating on whether or not to kick my a.s.s or turn me over to one of her brothers so they could hide the body when they were finished.
This girl was my best friend, the sister of my heart. I wasn"t scared of her simply because I knew she would never harm a hair on my head. That didn"t mean I was ignorant of the fact that she could slit my throat and throw me in the dumpster out back of the bar if she decided that was what she wanted, and no one in the place would even blink. That"s what happened when a girl as strong-willed as Raven was raised by a bunch of bada.s.s bikers.
"She has that look on her face again," a deep voice I knew well muttered as he pa.s.sed where I was sitting at the bar and went around to where his sister was standing to drop several more empties into the trash. Wiping his hands on the towel that sat behind the bar, Hawk Hannigan turned the same frown his sister had on her beautiful face on me. "You gonna throw up again, Flick?"
I flipped him off as I lifted my gla.s.s of club soda to my lips and took a small sip. In truth, my stomach wasn"t at its greatest and it was anyone"s guess when I would vomit again. I"d been doing a lot of that lately.
Morning sickness sucked b.a.l.l.s.
It was my turn to frown this time. Sucked b.a.l.l.s? Had that thought really just gone through my head? It wasn"t like me to think those things. Raven, sure. Me? If you asked anyone in Hannigans" right that second what they thought about me, they would instantly tell you that I was sweet and quiet little Flick. The one who needed protecting. The one who was delicate. Fragile, even.
I hated that that was what they thought of me, but even I had to admit it was the truth. I wasn"t as strong as Raven. I was the nice, sweet, quiet girl. I wasn"t fragile though, not nearly as much as everyone a.s.sumed, anyway. If so, I would have broken already. I would have been a shattered pile of Felicity on the bar floor that Raven would have had to sweep up and try to put back together, if that were the case.
I was bent a little, lost for sure, but that was all. Nothing had started cracking yet, and as long as I kept my heart hardened against Jet Hannigan, nothing would either.
A high, almost nasal-like giggle drifted over the loud rock music and raised voices in the bar. Sat.u.r.day nights were always busy at Hannigans", but even in the current crowd I could pick out her laugh-and his deep chuckle. Bubbles" annoying me wasn"t anything new. She was a sheep and until Jet had started hooking up with me, she had been one of his favorites. Now that we were over, looked like Jet was back to sniffing around the little b.i.t.c.h.
The sound of his chuckle as it came again had me clenching my jaw along with my thighs. Why did he still have that kind of power over me? How could I not be immune now, when he"d tried so hard to stomp on my heart-and was still trying to do just that?
I turned my head in the direction the laughter was coming from, back toward the Original"s booth. Bubbles was sitting on Jet"s lap, and her hair was covering most of his face, but even from where I was sitting I could see his eyes and they were zeroed in right on me. He was watching me for a reaction, wanting me to show him I was still able to feel something after the way we"d ended things.
A stab of jealousy churned in my gut, but I didn"t let him see it with so much as a flicker of my lashes. I"d gotten good at hiding my emotions lately.
"She has that look on her face again," Raider Hannigan grumbled seconds before he sat down at the bar on the empty stool beside me.
Thankful for the distraction, I finally gave in and looked at the three Hannigan siblings. There was no doubt that they were related. They were all exceptionally tall-even Raven with her long, willowy limbs. Each had blond hair and unique green eyes that had an olive-jade tint to them. And they were all the only real family I knew.
"What look?" I demanded, not sure what they were talking about. I"d worked d.a.m.n hard to make sure my face didn"t reflect how lost I felt on the inside. Had spent hours in the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror as I had perfected the look.
"Dead eyes," Colt Hannigan answered for his brother as he pushed at the MC member who had been sitting on the other side of me. The older biker stood without a word and Colt took his place, those same green eyes as his brothers and sister trying to penetrate to my core. Colt looked the most like Jet, acted the most like him as well. Meeting his gaze was harder for me to do than it was with the other three Hannigans, but I did just to see what he was talking about.
"No they aren"t," I argued, but deep down I knew he was probably right. Was that the look I"d perfected? The dead-eyes expression? d.a.m.n it. That was worse than the sad, lost look that I was trying to cover up.
"Yes, babe, they are." Colt reached out and I tried not to flinch away when he pushed a few strands of my hair back from my face. The similarities between Colt and Jet were just too much for me to handle at times. "Where has our happy, free spirited little Flick gone?" he murmured. "I want her back."
I rolled my eyes, because it was either make this a joke or cry all over the poor biker. "She"s tired. School has been rough this week with midterms and all that c.r.a.p that goes with them."
"If that"s the case, then you have nothing to worry about." Raider took the beer Hawk sat in front of him and lifted it to his lips. "You aced them all, Flick. You"re too d.a.m.n smart not to have."
He was right. I was confident in the grades I"d gotten on all the exams that week. I"d studied hard and even though I"d felt sick through most of the tests, I hadn"t stumbled through a single one. School had always come easy for me. It was real life that I seemed to fail at.
"Shouldn"t you four be doing something? Like running this place?" At the harsh snap we all lifted our heads to find Jet standing right behind me.
Without thinking about it, I put up my walls again, and instantly heard three males mutter something under their breaths when they saw my "dead eyes". Jet didn"t look at me though as he glared from one sibling to the next. Some of the bite left his eyes when they skimmed briefly over Raven, though. It was to be expected, I guess. He"d basically raised his baby sister. Raven had considered him her paternal influence long before her father had died.
"I don"t know," Hawk growled at his older brother. "Shouldn"t you be doing the same? Or would you rather Bubbles sat on your d.i.c.k all night while we run this f.u.c.king place?"
Jet clenched his jaw for a few seconds before an evil smirk lifted at the left side of his mouth. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Get back to work."
"f.u.c.k you," Hawk snarled.
"Nah, I"ll let Bubbles do that, but you can have my sloppy seconds, brother."
Colt stood. "How about we stop with all the language. Flick doesn"t need to hear that s.h.i.t."
My heart clenched at how protective Colt was. He"d always been the thoughtful one of the four brothers. He was as hard as Jet, but he had a softer side too. Why couldn"t I have fallen for him?
"Flick shouldn"t even be in here," Jet told his youngest brother, the fire in his eyes rising as he glared down at him from the inch-and-a-half height difference. "She"s not twenty-one yet. She has no business being in here."
"Hey, what the f.u.c.k is your problem?" Hawk demanded, stepping around the bar to face Jet. "She"s not drinking, so there isn"t a problem. Back off. She"s not hurting anyone. You never used to have a problem with her coming in here."
I saw the way Hawk"s eyes narrowed on his brother and quickly got to my feet. I didn"t want to be the reason the two oldest Hannigans came to blows. "I was about to leave anyway. See you guys later."
Colt took my elbow. "Wait. I"ll walk you to your car. It"s dark out."
I felt the temperature drop about ten degrees around me as Jet pushed his brother"s hand off my arm. When he replaced Colt"s hand with his own, it didn"t matter that the temperature around me had dropped from the coldness of Jet"s glare. My body instantly heated, feeling as if he were literally scalding my flesh where he touched me. "Get your lazy a.s.s back to work, little brother. I"ll make sure Flick gets to her car."
My first thought was to refuse. I didn"t want to be alone with Jet when he was coldly angry. Then I realized he was the reason I"d left my mother"s house tonight. If I didn"t talk to him now, I might never talk to him again. I almost preferred it that way, but knew that Jet needed to know he was going to be a father.
Raven was suddenly in front of me. Her green eyes lingered on my face for a moment before she stepped forward and hugged me. Surprised, I hugged her back. "Are you okay?" she whispered at my ear so only I would hear her.
"I"m fine, Rave. Honest." I kissed her cheek and stepped back, letting Jet pull me out of his bar.
Neither of us spoke as he practically dragged me to my Jeep at the back of the parking lot. To his every one step I had to take three. I"d been lucky to find that empty spot when I"d arrived, the place had been so crowded. As soon as we reached my Jeep he turned to face me. The look on his face had me taking several steps back, only stopping when I felt someone else"s car at my back.
Jet followed until there was only an inch separating us. I could feel his breath on my cheek and see his eyes clearly from the glow of all the lights in the parking lot. Those green depths were at war with a mixture of emotions: rage, l.u.s.t, disgust. It was the disgust that felt like a punch to the ribs. Was he disgusted at himself...or me? I was pretty disgusted with myself, so I would have understood if he was disgusted with me too. I didn"t want to chase after this stupid biker, and I wasn"t. As soon as I told him what needed telling, I was gone. He wouldn"t have to acknowledge me if he didn"t want to. I was done with him.
The need to run away-far, far away-from this f.u.c.ked-up life that I"d been born into was growing stronger. Did I really want my baby to grow up like I had? Sure I knew it would be loved by its uncles and aunt, but what about Jet? Would he even want our baby? Or would he tell me to get rid of it? Would my child grow up not knowing its father like I had?
I didn"t know the answers to those questions, but I was about to get them.
"What do you want, Flick?" Jet muttered as he continued to look down at me with those three emotions still swirling around in his eyes. "I know you came to see me, what I don"t know is why."
I swallowed, trying to get my dry tongue to work. Why did he have to smell so good? Even under the scent of smoke and booze, I could still identify his unique scent. Something a little spicy mixed with citrus. Maybe it was from my new awareness of scents because of my pregnancy, but I doubted it. I"d always been able to pick out Jet"s scent. This close to him, with his scent filling my nose with each breath I took, my body was reacting in ways that disturbed me. After everything he"d put me through in the last few weeks, I couldn"t understand my ever growing need for this man.
"I needed to talk to you," I finally got out after a few seconds of trying to get moisture back into my mouth.
He moved half an inch closer, lowering his head until all I could see were his irises. "So talk."
Easy for him to say. I"d been working out in my head for days now just how to tell him. From the second I"d found out I was pregnant I"d been trying to figure out how, or even if I should tell Jet he was going to be a daddy in a few short months. Everything I"d come up with had sounded stupid and lame. How exactly did you tell the man who only wanted you for a few quick f.u.c.ks that he was about to be tied to you for at least eighteen years?
Blowing out a long breath, I just blurted it out. "I"m pregnant."
For a long moment it seemed as if he hadn"t heard me. He didn"t react, not even so much as blinking. I knew the instant what I"d said really sunk in. His face paled and his eyes widened ever so slightly. He took a step back, his eyes going straight to my not-so-flat stomach. I"d always struggled with my weight, but I"d actually lost five pounds in the last week. Morning sickness was the best diet seeing as all you did was vomit and tried to stay hydrated throughout the day.
"Are you joking?" he demanded in a rough voice, as if he couldn"t believe what I"d told him. Or he didn"t want to believe it.
"Do I look like I"m joking?" I snapped, unable to keep my contempt in check any longer. Did he think I had planned this s.h.i.t? That I honestly wanted to be tied to him for life by an innocent little baby? "I"m pregnant, a.s.shole. There, you know. Do what you want with the info, I don"t give a d.a.m.n anymore."
I pushed at his chest and he went willingly. Free, I stepped around him and unlocked my Jeep. Jet didn"t move again until I was sitting in the driver"s seat and had the engine started. Seeing him standing there, frowning down at me like that, I rolled down my window and waited for him to speak.
"Have you seen a doctor?" he demanded in that same rough tone. "Are you okay?"
The first question didn"t surprise me, but the second hit me in the heart. Was he concerned for me or the baby? Did it matter? "I saw him two days ago. Everything is fine. I go next week for a scan to determine my exact due date."
Jet nodded, as if he knew exactly what I was talking about. "When? Where?" I told him the time and that I had to go to the hospital for the scan. He nodded again and stepped back. "Okay."
That was all he said before he turned and walked back toward the bar. Okay. Not "I"ll see you there" or even "go f.u.c.k yourself, Flick". Just okay. Feeling defeated-because what had I really been expecting from him anyway? -I put the Jeep in gear and headed home.
Jet.
Pregnant.
She was f.u.c.king pregnant.
I didn"t know whether to laugh or punch a hole through the wall. I"d spent the last week doing both. One minute I was laughing-the kind of laugh you expect a lunatic to have right before he tortured some helpless b.a.s.t.a.r.d to death. Then the laugh would turn into a genuine one, because in all honesty I was kind of happy about Flick being pregnant. It gave me that tie to her that I"d been fighting myself over for so many d.a.m.n years it was ridiculous. I wasn"t proud of myself for having wanted my baby sister"s best friend since she"d turned sixteen. I"d nearly beaten a man to death when he"d told me he"d felt the same way about my sister. How did that make me any better?
Thinking of Bash Reid only p.i.s.sed me off. I didn"t know if I was angrier with myself, or Bash, who had left town as soon as he could. Myself. Yeah, myself. Bash had his demons to face, I knew that. He wouldn"t have just left my sister without a good reason. The f.u.c.ker had taken the beating like a man, making me respect the motherf.u.c.ker for it. It had shown me just how much he loved Raven. No, he wouldn"t have left without a good reason.
I was p.i.s.sed off at myself because I hadn"t had the b.a.l.l.s to tell Flick that I loved her. Every time I thought of what a p.u.s.s.y I"d been, pushing her away to avoid my own feelings, I put my fist through a wall. It was keeping Uncle Chaz and his construction boys in business, constantly having to patch up the holes I was making at home, work, even the d.a.m.n clubhouse. No one gave me s.h.i.t about it though. I figured they knew better than to ask why I was putting my fist through a solid wall. No doubt they realized that I wouldn"t think twice about putting that same bruised and bloodied fist through the back of their heads.
Flick"s appointment had been the day before, and I hadn"t gone. No. That was a lie. I"d gone. Sat in the hospital parking lot and watched as Flick had walked inside for her scan. I"d stayed in my car as I waited for her to come out forty-seven minutes later and hadn"t moved until I"d seen her drive away. Even from where I"d been parked, well away from Flick so she wouldn"t see me practically stalking her, I"d seen the smile on her beautiful face as she"d stared down at a shiny piece of paper.
Was that a picture of our baby? Was that bittersweet smile for our kid? Did she love it already?
Muttering a curse as those same questions drifted through my head yet again, I picked up a bottle of Jameson from behind the bar and opened it as I took a seat on one of the stools in front of the bar top. The place was empty and would stay that way for a few more hours. My brothers and Raven wouldn"t even be in for another two hours to get the place ready for Church that night. I figured I"d be good and drunk by then and wouldn"t be tempted to put my fist through another wall before then.
I was a third of the way through the bottle when I heard the door behind me open. Turning, I found Uncle Jack, Razor, and Uncle Chaz entering the bar with my best friend and VP, Westcliffe. I didn"t want company-especially Westcliffe"s-right then. He was the one who had told me I should end it with Flick in the first place. He"d gotten into my head, made me think that I was no good for her.
It was probably the truth, but f.u.c.king h.e.l.l, I didn"t want it to be.
With a good buzz going right then, I wanted to put my fist through his face. What the f.u.c.k had I been thinking, letting Flick go in the first place. I loved that female. f.u.c.king loved her. s.h.i.t, I was a p.u.s.s.y. I needed to tell her that I loved her...
Uncle Jack grabbed my bottle of Jameson and headed back to the Originals" booth in the back. The others followed him and after a few minutes of sitting there, mentally screaming at myself for not telling Flick I loved her, I finally stood and went back to see what the old f.u.c.kers wanted. Jack, Chaz, and Razor didn"t just show up without a reason. Not when there would be Church to attend in a few hours.
Gritting my teeth, I pulled a chair from a nearby table and took my place with them. Four pairs of eyes narrowed on me, but no one spoke a word, waiting for me to do the talking. I dragged a hand over my face, feeling the scruff of a week"s worth of beard on my jaw.
"I knocked Flick up," I muttered, admitting my sin.
There was a long pause from the three old men, as if they were sizing me up for the first time since I"d stepped into my father"s shoes as the Angel"s Halo MC president. Westcliffe sat up a little straighter, his narrowed eyes turning colder. What the f.u.c.k was his deal anyway? I was getting sick and tired of his s.h.i.t where Flick was concerned lately. He was the only one who had even known that I was sneaking around with Flick. I"d thought I could trust him with that, but he"d done nothing but bust my b.a.l.l.s and give me s.h.i.t over it from the second I"d told him.
Ignoring the VP, I turned my gaze to Uncle Jack. He"d been like a second father to me all my life. My father"s best friend and the Club"s VP up until Mad Max Hannigan had met the Angel of Death. He should have been the one to take the president"s spot, but he"d wanted a younger generation to take over the running of the Club.
Uncle Jack"s whiskey-brown eyes were a mixture of disapproval and amus.e.m.e.nt. A strange combination to see in anyone"s eyes, anyone but Uncle Jack"s. "So wife her."
"Yeah, f.u.c.khead. Wife that female." Razor picked up the bottle of Jameson and chugged it long and deep before slamming the bottle back on the table. "Or I"m gonna f.u.c.k you up. Clear?"
I blinked, not sure if I was hearing him right with my buzz still going strong. Marry Flick? I hadn"t thought of that. Marriage had been the furthest thing from my mind. Sure, I loved that female, but did I really want to get married? I could make her my ol" lady without making her my wife, d.a.m.n it.
Uncle Chaz lifted his hands, placing them flat on the table as he glared at me. "Flick"s a good girl, boy. You make this right. Or we bring the enforcer in on this."
I reached for the bottle of whiskey and took a long swallow as I contemplated what the old f.u.c.ker had just said. Not even as the Club"s president was I exempt from the enforcer. It kept the president from getting too big of a head. Since Bash had left, a new one had been appointed. I wasn"t stupid enough to think that they wouldn"t bring Spider into this, but that didn"t mean I was going to jump up and go ask Flick to marry me right then and there. It might seem a little extreme to bring an enforcer in on this, but I knew they cared about Flick and wanted what was best for her. She didn"t have a father figure to look out for her like I looked out for Raven.
"I will," I a.s.sured the three Originals. "Just give me some time."
Uncle Jack nodded. "Sure, boy. Take your time. But you best have your ring on the girl"s finger before she has that kid, or you"re gonna meet your kid for the first time in a body cast."
Felicity.
Three weeks. I hadn"t seen Jet in three weeks. I figured I wouldn"t see him for longer than that. It was okay, though. I was okay. I didn"t need him to help with the baby. We"d be just fine without him.
Didn"t mean I wasn"t hurting over his lack of interest in his own kid. Didn"t mean I wasn"t p.i.s.sed at his not even showing up for the scan I"d had two weeks before. I hadn"t gone looking for him though, and I wasn"t going to. He wasn"t worth my time anymore. I"d done my duty, told him about the baby. That was all he got from me.
My morning sickness was thankfully starting to fade. I"d spent the majority of the last three weeks with my head in a toilet, either at home or at school. Those were the only places I went these days, the only places I knew I wouldn"t chance running into Jet. Now that the morning sickness had eased up, I was able to concentrate on what needed getting done. I"d fallen behind in some of my cla.s.ses because of it, and needed to spend several extra hours after each of my cla.s.ses catching up, or risk failing the semester.
I was late getting out of my English cla.s.s tonight because I"d had two papers that needed some extra research before I could turn them in. My mother didn"t have internet at our house, and since I was only living off of my scholarship I couldn"t afford it for myself. Whenever I needed to do anything on a computer I always had to do it at school.
It was dark as I left the building and headed for my Jeep. The parking lot was nearly empty except for my Jeep and two other cars... And the hog parked right in front of my Jeep.
Seeing Jet leaning against his bike with his arms crossed over his wide chest, looking bored and slightly amused, had my heart jumping in my chest. He was obviously waiting on me and I had to wonder how long he"d been waiting. Jet knew my schedule and would have known I was supposed to get out of my last cla.s.s at five. It was now after nine. Telling myself I didn"t care that he was there, or even why he was there, I pulled my keys from my backpack and walked around the bike. Ignoring him completely.