Don"t panic, I told myself. You can rely on him. He"s not the leaving kind.
"After that, we can have lunch and work on fleshing out the website. My goal is to launch by Monday. I have some ideas on how to promote it. So be ready to take some orders."
"Yes, ma"am."
In a tool belt, Rob was every bit as irresistible as I"d imagined. While he banged away in the kitchen, muscles flexing, he explained to the viewer what he was doing and why. His manner was easy, relaxed, and the camera loved him. So did I.
s.h.i.t, what...? But it was too late to put that insight back in Pandora"s box. This wasn"t a crush. It was Lurve. Capital L. f.u.c.k, why? My first instinct was to run. My heartbeat went into overdrive and my intestines twisted up in knots. I couldn"t even see, let alone inhale, and I almost dropped the camera. Breathe, breathe. My palms started sweating.
"Lauren?" Rob had paused, frowning, hammer in hand, and he was coming toward me.
"I"m fine. I"m okay, I"m...awesome."
Oh, G.o.d, don"t touch me. Not now. I might ravish you.
He c.o.c.ked a brow, but he was smiling. "I agree."
Then he went back to work. Somehow I silently talked myself into calming down. And because I"d promised him a certain outcome, I finished shooting.
A while later, the mini panic attack dealt with, I checked footage in the window on the back of the camera. "This looks fantastic. Did you come up with a name yet?"
"Unless you think it"s stupid, I like Rob the Builder."
"No, it"s fine. I don"t think there are any copyright issues. But I think that should be limited to your website. Your vlog segment needs a different t.i.tle."
""At Home with Rob"?" he suggested.
"Sounds great." I went to work creating the video channel.
"Okay, then. I"ll make some lunch."
"Do you mind if I take a few pictures of the furniture you"ve made?" He had the bed, the dining-room tables, chairs, a few pieces up in his room. "Finished pieces will show better."
"Go for it."
While he browned ground beef, I adjusted the lighting and shot some photos-not professional quality, but hopefully good enough to interest customers who were drawn to unique, handcrafted goods. After I connected the camera to my laptop, I questioned Rob about his goals, which I then typed up on the welcome page. Next I fleshed out the product page with the pictures and brief item descriptions. Now I just needed to write something in the "about" section. Over lunch, Rob helped me with that. His construction resume was really impressive; he"d worked on a number of huge projects. But people would be more interested in the progress he"d made on the house.
"Do you have any "before" pictures?"
"Huh?"
"Of the dining room and your bedroom?"
"Oh. Actually, yeah. Let me get my phone."
I uploaded them to my laptop and spiced up the site further with before-and-after shots of the work he"d done. "There we go. That went a lot faster than I expected. Once I edit your vlog, upload it, link your site to the channel, then we"ll launch."
"Today?" he asked.
"If I push, yes."
"You"re amazing. Do you think anyone will even see all your hard work?"
"In time. I"ve learned a few things online. There are forums, places I can advertise you. It"ll take a little money, but it"s worth it. Have you been sticking to your budget?"
He frowned at me. "Yes. You"re saying I should spend my savings on this?"
"Not all, but some. It"s worth investing in your dreams, Rob. I believe in you, and you should, too." If he refused, I"d use part of my paycheck and buy the ads myself.
"Okay. Just tell me what to do."
Excited, I leaped up from the table and hugged him. "Just wait, you won"t be sorry. If things go like I hope, you"ll eventually be able to live on what you earn building furniture. You can set your own hours, be your own boss."
"That would be incredible." My enthusiasm fired his, and he swung me around in his arms, then buried his face in my neck. "I have never, ever been this happy."
His words went to my head like expensive champagne. My throat closed, so I couldn"t speak. I just held him as hard as I could.
Rob went on in a whisper, "You"re making it really hard to wait."
"Good," I said.
I shouldn"t be the only one who"s s.e.xually frustrated.
"But why are you still waiting?" There had to be a reason other than antic.i.p.ation, and maybe his answer would help me cool off.
His lips moved over my neck, then he bit down gently. The smooth stroke of his palms up and down my spine almost made me forget I"d said anything. But then Rob cleared his throat, drawing back enough that I could see the heat blazing in his blue eyes.
"Because I want to be sure the timing"s right and that neither of us has any doubts. I don"t want us to regret anything, Lauren. Plus, I need to show Avery some respect. I feel guilty about that public kiss, so soon after the split, but I couldn"t help it. You were so d.a.m.n cute and s.e.xy-" He broke off, regrouping before he continued. "I couldn"t control myself then, so I have to now. For a little longer anyway. Until it feels...decent."
Rob wasn"t always the best at articulating his thoughts and motivations, so I wasn"t 100 percent sure what to make of this. "Do you still have...feelings for Avery? Is that why you"re worried about her?" If he said yes, I might hyperventilate.
He shook his head immediately. "No. It"s about doing this the right way and me not feeling like an a.s.shole over being with you."
"Okay," I said. "I won"t push."
"I appreciate it. If you think this is easy, then you have no idea how much I want you or how long it"s been that way."
"You could tell me."
In response, he pulled me onto his lap, the hard length of him like hot metal beneath me. I resisted the urge to straddle him, sensing that wasn"t what he had in mind. Not yet, anyway. He cradled me against his chest, rubbing his cheek against my hair. I listened to him breathe, just waiting for him to speak.
"This is another story, I guess. Like the one when you were going out in the red dress."
"I"m all ears."
He traced the curve of the right one, fingers drifting lower to cup my cheek. Instinctively I lifted my face for a kiss, but he only ran this thumb against my jaw, closer, closer to my lips. I parted them, hardly able to breathe. My pulse went crazy.
"Seeing you at Thanksgiving..." He let out a slow breath. "It was like we came full circle. I remembered how you used to follow me around, but in November, you didn"t even look at me, like I was a nonperson in your eyes."
It hurt to say this out loud. "That"s because you were with Avery."
"One of the reasons I was with Avery was because I didn"t think I"d ever have you. And that"s not a good reason, you know? So I tried my hardest for her because my heart wasn"t in it."
"You feel guilty about that, too," I realized aloud.
He nodded. "For you and me, this has been years in the making. It"s not too much to ask for us to wait a little more, just to make sure Avery"s okay, right?" Now that I understood everything, I could give him all the time he needed.
"Sure." For five minutes or so, he just held me, though his erection didn"t subside in the slightest. Part of me felt bad about what seemed like incredible temptation, but if Rob could handle it, I could, too. At last he let go and set me on the floor, the banked smolder in his eyes like dry lightning on a hot summer night. I could almost forget there was snow on the ground outside.
Rob exhaled slowly, as if clinging by a thread to his self-control. Then he changed the subject and put some physical distance between us. "Any word on karaoke?"
It took me a minute to catch up. "Oh, tomorrow night. Can you make it?"
"Absolutely. I said I would, didn"t I?" Rob kissed the tip of my nose. From anyone else, the move probably would"ve irritated me. I didn"t do cute with the guys I dated. But then, Rob and I weren"t officially there yet.
"Let me call Krista and Avery while I"m thinking about it."
"You"re inviting Avery?" Rob tilted his head, grinning. "This should be...interesting."
Relief bubbled up. Though I"d told him I would befriend her even if he objected, it helped that he was such a good guy. A weaker man would let the regret keep him from facing her.
Getting out my phone, I dialed and got Krista on the second ring. The convo was short and sweet. "Yeah, I"d love to come. Pick me up?"
"Around six."
After hanging up, Rob programmed Avery"s contact info into my phone. Hopefully she wouldn"t be too p.i.s.sed at him for giving it to me or over the invitation in general.
As expected, she was a tougher sell than Krista. "Who is this? How did you get my number?"
I girded my loins for battle, nudging Rob away from my shoulder. If he kissed me, Avery would hear it in my voice. "It"s Lauren. A bunch of us are going to karaoke tomorrow night, and I wondered if you want to join us."
The pause stretched out so long, I thought maybe she"d hung up. Finally, she asked, "Why?"
"Because it"ll be fun. Maybe." Generally speaking, I enjoyed karaoke, though the company made all the difference. In that moment I missed Nadia more than ever. Maybe I hadn"t been fair. I mean, I was secretly mad at her for not sensing things about me-she was supposed to be my best friend, after all-but she wasn"t a mind reader. I shouldn"t be so conflicted when I was the one who"d shut her out.
"Who"s "us"?" Avery sounded suspicious, like this might be a trick.
"My mom, her boyfriend, Krista, Rob, me-"
"You seriously expect me to go out with my ex?" Her tone was a mixture of disbelief and amus.e.m.e.nt.
"No, he"ll just be there. Look, what better way to prove to people that you"re fine? Come on, we"ll have a blast. Don"t be stubborn." She hesitated, so I added, "If you hang up, I"m calling back. I"ll bother you until you say yes."
Finally, she sighed. "Fine. When?"
"Tomorrow at six-fifteen. We"ll pick you up. See you then." I ended the convo before she could argue with me.
"You just got Avery to agree to karaoke? Wow. What"s your next miracle?"
Making the rest of the world see you like I do.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN.
That night, I edited the video and posted to the channel "At Home with Rob," then I uploaded it. A few finishing touches, then presto. I published. I had credits with a few services, so I used them to get some views on his videos, and then I went to bed. In the morning, I did a little more promo and sent in my college application. The cool part was that I could use Rob"s website as part of my portfolio. Though I wasn"t going into design, it wouldn"t hurt my chances.
By half past five, I was ready when Rob picked me up. My mom and Stuart had already left, planning to meet us there. Though I doubted Stuart"s concern about getting a big enough table would be a problem in Edison on a Sunday night, it was sweet of him to care. I bounded out the door, and Rob grabbed me like it had been more than twelve hours. Even through our coats, I admired the strength of him as he lifted me for a kiss. I"d never dated a guy so unabashedly physical. If we had time, he"d probably put me on the hood of his truck and make it last ten minutes. The urge flickered in his eyes, but it pa.s.sed, and he let me climb into the cab on my own.
"Are you almost done teasing me? Death by s.e.xual frustration will be superembarra.s.sing on the coroner"s report."
"I don"t think I can hold out much longer," he admitted.
I grinned. "Best news I"ve had all day. Here, check this out."
He took my phone with a curious look, then his eyes widened. "Holy s.h.i.t. I"ve got almost a thousand views."
"And forty comments." Most of which said how f.u.c.king hot he was, but that was beside the point. I knew the internet would love Rob.
"That"s insane. You posted everything last night?"
"Yeah. I still need to set up the email to forward to your inbox. Or you can just tell me what pa.s.sword you want, and I"ll text you the log-in to webmail for your site."
"I have no idea. Do whatever"s easiest."
"Gotcha."
It didn"t take long for us to get to Krista"s house. She was already waiting on her front porch, bundled up against the cold in a cute red knit hat and matching scarf. Rob got out to help her in back. His truck had a double cab or I would"ve given her the front seat-no making pregnant ladies clamber behind the seat.
"You"re Nadia"s brother, right?"
"Yeah, nice to meet you."
Krista smiled. "Definitely. You were kind of a big deal when I was in junior high."
"He still is," I said, before he could reply.
"Oh, so it"s like that? I thought you were dating Avery Jacobs."
I felt a pang of guilt over not updating her on our status. Between a full-time job, keeping in touch with the roomies and talking to Rob on the phone at night, plus video games and extracurricular coding projects, I wasn"t holding up my end of our friendship. Silently promising to do better, I kept quiet and let him answer.
"Not anymore," he said. "Though we"re picking her up next."
"Really? It"s so cool you stayed friends. I don"t think I could do that if I ever broke up with Kenji."