We know that she was sister to Mrs. Raddle, who lived far away in Southwark, and was the landlady of Mr. Sawyer. She might have been cross-examined with effect as to her story that she had been "out buying kidney pertaties," etc. Why buy these articles in Goswell Street and come all the way from Southwark? What was she doing there at all? This question could have been answered only in one way--which was that the genial author fancied at the moment she was living near Mrs. Bardell.
Besides this, there was another point which Snubbin, in cross-examination, ought to have driven home. Mrs. Cluppins was of an inferior type, of the common washerwoman or "charing" sort; her language was of Mrs. Gamp"s kind; "which her name was" so and so. Yet, this creature, in another room, or on the stairs, the door being "on the jar,"
can repeat with her limited appreciation, those dubious and imperfect utterances of Mr. Pickwick! How could she remember all? Or could she understand them? Impossible! She, however, may have caught up something.
Winkle, too, said he heard something as he came up the stairs--"Compose yourself my dear creature, for consider if any one were to come," etc.
But what could be the value of evidence heard in this way? Would a jury believe it? "Not only," as Sam said, "is "wision limited,"" but hearing also.
In short, the delicate subtleties of the conversation between Mr.
Pickwick and Mrs. Bardell would be wholly lost in her hands. Persons of her cla.s.s know nothing of suggestion or double meanings or reserved intention, everything for them must be in black and white. How unlikely, therefore, that through the panels of a door or through the half opened door, ("she said on the jar,") could she catch the phrases and their meanings, and, above all, retain them in her memory? No doubt, as the counsel put it bluntly, she listened, and with all her ears.
However this may be, here is what Mrs. Cluppins deposed to:
"Mrs. Cluppins," said Serjeant Buzfuz, "pray compose yoursel, ma"am;"
and, of course, directly Mrs. Cluppins was desired to compose herself she sobbed with increased violence, and gave divers alarming manifestations of an approaching fainting fit, or, as she afterwards said, of her feelings being too many for her.
"Do you recollect, Mrs. Cluppins?" said Serjeant Buzfuz, after a few unimportant questions--"do you recollect being in Mrs. Bardell"s back one pair of stairs, on one particular morning in July last, when she was dusting Mr. Pickwick"s apartment?"
"Yes, my Lord and jury, I do," replied Mrs. Cluppins.
"Mr. Pickwick"s sitting-room was the first floor front, I believe?"
"Yes it were, sir," replied Mrs. Cluppins.
"What were you doing in the back room, ma"am?" inquired the little judge.
"My Lord and jury," said Mrs. Cluppins, with interesting agitation, "I will not deceive you."
"You had better not, ma"am," said the little judge.
"I was there," resumed Mrs. Cluppins, "unbeknown to Mrs. Bardell; I had been out with a little basket, gentlemen, to buy three pounds of red kidney pertaties, which was three pound, tuppense ha"penny, when I see Mrs. Bardell"s street door on the jar."
"On the what?" exclaimed the little judge.
"Partly open, my Lord," said Serjeant Snubbin.
"She _said_ on the jar," said the little judge with a cunning look.
"It"s all the same, my lord," said Serjeant Snubbin. The little judge looked doubtful, and said he"d make a note of it. Mrs.
Cluppins then resumed--
"I walked in, gentlemen, just to say good mornin", and went in a permiscuous manner up-stairs, and into the back room. Gentlemen, there was the sound of voices in the front room, and--"
"And you listened, I believe, Mrs. Cluppins," said Serjeant Buzfuz.
"Beggin" your pardon, sir," replied Mrs. Cluppins, in a majestic manner, "I would scorn the haction. The voices was very loud, sir, and forced themselves upon my ear."
"Well, Mrs. Cluppins, you were not listening, but you heard the voices. Was one of those voices Mr. Pickwick"s?"
"Yes, it were, sir."
And Mrs. Cluppins, after distinctly stating that Mr. Pickwick addressed himself to Mrs. Bardell, repeated by slow degrees, and by dint of many questions the conversation with which our readers are already acquainted.
Now we have to turn back to one of the earlier pa.s.sages in the story for the conversation between the pair, "with which the reader is already acquainted." Thus we shall know what Mrs. Cluppin"s might have heard.
Mr. Pickwick paced the room to and fro with hurried steps, popped his head out of the window at intervals of about three minutes each, constantly referred to his watch, and exhibited many other manifestations of impatience, very unusual with him. It was evident that something of great importance was in contemplation, but what that something was not even Mrs. Bardell herself had been enabled to discover.
"Mrs. Bardell," said Mr. Pickwick at last, as that amiable female approached the termination of a prolonged dusting of the apartment.
"Sir," said Mrs. Bardell.
"Your little boy is a very long time gone."
"Why, it"s a good long way to the Borough, sir," remonstrated Mrs.
Bardell.
"Ah," said Pickwick, "very true; so it is."
Mr. Pickwick relapsed into silence, and Mrs. Bardell resumed her dusting.
"Mrs. Bardell," said Mr. Pickwick, at the expiration of a few minutes.
"Sir," said Mrs. Bardell again.
"Do you think it"s a much greater expense to keep two people, than to keep one?"
"La, Mr. Pickwick," said Mrs. Bardell, colouring up to the very border of her cap, as she fancied she observed a species of matrimonial twinkle in the eyes of her lodger, "La, Mr. Pickwick, what a question!"
"Well, but _do_ you?" inquired Mr. Pickwick.
"That depends--" said Mrs. Bardell, approaching the duster very near to Mr. Pickwick"s elbow, which was planted on the table; "that depends a good deal upon the person, you know, Mr. Pickwick; and whether it"s a saving and careful person, sir."
"That"s very true," said Mr. Pickwick, "but the person I have in my eye (here he looked very hard at Mrs. Bardell) I think possesses these qualities; and has, moreover, a considerable knowledge of the world, and a great deal of sharpness, Mrs. Bardell; which may be of material use to me."
"La, Mr. Pickwick," said Mrs. Bardell; the crimson rising to her cap-border again.
"I do," said Mr. Pickwick, growing energetic, as was his wont in speaking of a subject which interested him, "I do, indeed; and to tell you the truth, Mrs. Bardell, I have made up my mind."
"Dear me, sir," exclaimed Mrs. Bardell.
"You"ll think it very strange, now," said the amiable Mr. Pickwick, with a good humoured glance at his companion, "that I never consulted you about this matter, and never even mentioned it, till I sent your little boy out this morning, eh?"
Mrs. Bardell could only reply by a look. She had long worshipped Mr.
Pickwick at a distance, but here she was, all at once, raised to a pinnacle to which her wildest and most extravagant hopes and never dared to aspire. Mr. Pickwick was going to propose--a deliberate plan, too--sent her little boy to the Borough, to get him out of the way--how thoughtful--how considerate!"
"Well," said Mr. Pickwick, "what do you think?"
"Oh, Mr. Pickwick," said Mrs. Bardell, trembling with agitation, "you"re very kind, sir."
"It"ll save you a good deal of trouble, won"t it?" said Mr. Pickwick.