And it wasn"t fly the d.a.m.n ship.
Until her link buzzed.
"I need to launch," he reminded her, not wanting to hear the sound of one of her sister"s voices right then. Their added condemnation was the last thing he needed. His ego had been kicked enough for one night.
She checked the number, then shot a lethal glare at him over her shoulder. "It"ll wait a few." She tapped her ear. "Hey, baby, is everything okay?"
Those words slapped him hard and furiously.
Until he realized it wasn"t a man"s voice on the other end of her call. Or her sister"s.
It belonged to a young boy. "Hey, Ma! Do you have a few minutes?"
"For you, precious, always. How was school today?"
"Do I have to keep going? Isn"t there a law against torture or something?"
"Not for school kids, sorry. That"s just par for the course."
He made a sound of supreme annoyance. "I miss you, Mama. When you coming to see me?"
"As soon as I can. Promise."
"Okay," he said petulantly, then sighed heavily-as if the world were coming to an end. "Well, Aunt Cin says I have to go do homework and not bother you. But that she"ll call you later. Love you, Ma!"
"You, too, doodles." She made a kissing noise at him as he cut the connection.
His gut tight over the fact that the love of his life had a child with someone else, Bastien struggled to not let the hurt he felt show. But it was hard. Practically impossible as images of her in bed with another guy ate him raw.
While he"d known life wasn"t fair, this was a kick to his stones he really could have done without.
Trying to be a bigger man than that, he took a deep breath and leveled his tone. "Is your husband all right with you flying out on this mission?"
With me.
She shot a furious glare at him, over her shoulder. "I don"t have a husband, jacka.s.s."
For reasons he didn"t want to think about, that made him feel better. A lot better. "Divorced?"
"Never married."
He wanted to shout out in happiness. But that would definitely make him the jacka.s.s she"d proclaimed him to be. So with as much dignity as he could muster-which wasn"t much-he launched them.
After they were safely away, he tried to let the obviously sore topic go.
He couldn"t. Curiosity ate him and sank its nasty talons in deep. So deep that he couldn"t think about anything else. "What happened to your son"s father?"
That only seemed to irritate her more. "My baby has a name. Florian."
Florian? Bastien mouthed the horrific name in mockery, grateful she couldn"t see his actions. Truly that was the only thing he could think that was worse than the awful name his mother had saddled him with.
Clearing his throat, he tried to tell himself not to say anything. To stay out of something that was none of his business.
He couldn"t.
For the kid"s sake, he had to speak up. "Florian? I can"t believe his father let you get away with that G.o.d-awful monstrosity."
She let out a fierce, angry growl. "His father wasn"t around when he was born."
"Where was he?"
Ember sat there, silently fuming, as a million caustic responses played through her head. A part of her wanted to cut him to the bone, but as he reached around her to control the ship and she saw the scars on his hands and arms from all the years he"d had to fight hard for his survival, she bit them back.
Worse? The scent of him filled her head and the warmth of his body coc.o.o.ned her. And all the years she"d missed him slammed into her with such ferocity that it was all she could do not to turn around, strip his clothes from him and hold him skin-to-skin.
Don"t, Em. Let it go.
For too long, she"d thought him dead. There was no reason to hurt him more.
"Ember?"
A tear slid down her cheek at the sound of her name on his lips. Yet it wasn"t just that, it was the tenderness underlying that deep, fierce rumble. No one had ever said her name the way he did.
It carried the weight of his love and concern.
She wiped the tear away before he saw it. "He left me."
Bastien fell silent as he remembered the guy he"d beat the h.e.l.l out of on her behalf. From the sound of the kid"s voice and his approximate age, that would be around the same time. He most likely was the father. It would explain the conversation he"d overheard between her and her sister.
Which made him all the gladder he"d trounced the b.a.s.t.a.r.d.
"I"m sorry. For everything."
Those words had the opposite effect than what he intended. Instead of cheering her, she burst into racking sobs the likes of which he"d never witnessed from her before.
Switching on autopilot, he gathered her into his arms. "Ember? What"s wrong?"
"I hate you!" she screamed before she started slapping at his hands. Not in a painful way, because he"d seen her actually lay a man low with a single punch, so he knew she wasn"t really hitting him. This was more what an angry mother would give to a child reaching for sweets at dinnertime.
"Stop it!" he snapped, losing patience with her. "What"s gotten into you?"
"What"s gotten into me?" She drew a trembling breath and yanked off her helmet so that she could wipe unhampered at her eyes. "Oh, that"s rich! Well, let me tell you what got into me, mate. "Cause I"ve been dying to tell you for years! You want to know about Florian"s father? He was a b.a.s.t.a.r.d son of a b.i.t.c.h! A p.r.i.c.k! A d.i.c.k who ran off and got himself convicted of murdering his family and left me alone to deal with his psychotic uncle. Another b.a.s.t.a.r.d son of a b.i.t.c.h I was terrified, day and night, would find us and kill my son for the blood that runs in his veins. Just like he did his father"s family and my parents!"
She turned the link on and shoved it into his face. "Florian"s your son, Bastien."
CHAPTER 10.
Bastien sat there, stunned, as he stared into the face of his son. He would deny it as impossible, but there was no way. The kid looked just like he had at that age. Same dark blond hair that had a tendency to appear brown, depending on the light. Same hazel eyes. He even had the same small cleft in his chin.
If not for the modern clothing, he"d swear it was a picture of either him or Quin.
"I don"t understand."
Ember laughed hysterically. "Those prenatal photos Alura gave you? They were mine, Bastien. Alura told Barnabas I was pregnant and he stole the medical files to fool you. That was your child, and he didn"t die-not even when he almost set the house on fire when he was six. Though I felt like killing him for it. However, the only thing you had wrong was the name of the mother."
Bastien felt ill as he thought back and remembered the times he"d heard Ember being sick and had attributed it to her being upset by his marriage to Alura. To the fact that he"d noticed she was gaining weight back then, but hadn"t dared to ask about it as his mother and sister had tutored him well on the fact that no man who valued his life, or b.a.l.l.s, ever commented on a woman"s fluctuating weight.
"Why didn"t you tell me?"
She clicked the link off, but Bastien gently took it from her so that he could see more pictures of his son. "I"d just found out I was pregnant the night you asked me to marry you, after you were almost killed and your father threatened us both. I was still reeling from the shock of it all when you sprung the other on me. All I kept thinking was that your parents would force me out of the military the minute they found out I was pregnant, especially if we were married."
He wanted to deny it, but she was right. His mother wouldn"t have stood for it and his father would have done whatever his mother demanded.
"How did Alura know?"
Her lips trembled. The expression on her face said it was from anger. "I don"t know, but when she found out I was going to tell you about Florian, she ran ahead of me and told you she was pregnant-literally a matter of hours before I"d planned to. I was just waiting for the party to end before I said anything...."
Because Ember, unlike Alura, would have never embarra.s.sed him in front of his family, or caused more harm to his tarnished reputation with a public scandal.
"She knew I"d marry you immediately."
Ember nodded. "And I knew your parents would take me into custody if they learned of it."
For the baby"s safety.
Bastien felt ill over the thought of her going through all that alone. He hated the fact that she"d kept it from him. "Did you tell anyone else?"
"Cin and Kindel knew within an hour of the test coming back positive. It was why I switched wingmen. I was terrified you"d catch on given how sick I was during the first trimester."
It"d never entered his mind that she might be pregnant. In spite of all the paternity suits he"d been hit with, he"d never impregnated anyone else. Since they"d been using two different forms of birth control....
He"d stupidly a.s.sumed she"d done it only to get back at him or to punish him.
"Is that why you avoided me after my proposal?"
Ember licked her lips. "I was afraid I"d tell you. And you"ve never been able to keep a secret."
That was true enough. He told on himself even when he didn"t mean to.
Bastien stared at the boy who was a stranger to him as he flipped through her pictures. "You"ve had him in hiding all this time?"
She nodded. "I didn"t dare risk his life. My mother and father covered up my leave so that I could have him in secret. I stayed with him as much as I could when he was an infant, but once you were arrested, in spite of what my dad thought, I knew we were on borrowed time. It wasn"t long after your arrest that I learned my medical files had been hacked by Barnabas. I had no doubt since Rian was the last surviving heir of the direct ruling family that your uncle would be coming for us, so Tasi took Rian to live with her family."
Bastien was aghast. "Her outlaw family?"
She arched a brow at his indignant tone.
"Yeah, okay, so I"m an outlaw, too." As was Jullien. "But I"m not a member of the Dread Reckoning. I didn"t choose to be on this side of the law. I was thrown here against my wishes. Tasi"s family has never chosen to be otherwise."
The Dread Reckoning was a lawless bunch of renegades and miscreants. While Tavali were organized and had strict laws they were bound by, the DR had nothing that came close to resembling a legal code. Or even a code of decency. Theirs was a society of derelicts and a free-for-all when it came to following rules.
Even their own.
"They"re not as bad as you think."
Yeah, right. He didn"t believe that for a heartbeat. "Then why are you Tavali?"
"It was the only way I could keep working and have some semblance of safety for Rian. Since Tavali and the DR hate each other so much, no one would ever look for my child to be among my number one rival organizaton."
She had a point. But he still didn"t like it.
"Does he know about me?"
"I would never have deprived him of that. He"s known all his life who his father is and why he has to remain hidden."
Those words meant a lot more to him than she could imagine. She could have easily told their son nothing about him. The fact that she hadn"t kept him a secret from Florian ...
"Thank you."
Ember went stiff as Bastien wrapped his arms around her and held her close. Even more disturbing, he laid his head on her shoulder like he used to do when they dated. As if he were cherishing the moment with her, and she was the lifeline he needed to stay afloat.
"Can you ever forgive me for hurting you?" His whispered words were like a shout in the silence.
Biting her lip, she ran her fingers down his scarred forearm. "A part of me wants to."
"And the other?"
"Wants to beat you till you bleed."
She could feel his smile against her shoulder. "I"ll be happy to strip myself naked and let you spank me all you want, especially if you"re naked, too."
A groan came out before she could stop it. "I see you"re still twisted."
"Only around your pinkie. You always had control of me when no one else did."
"Yeah ... that"s why you slept with my sister, right?"
He went ramrod stiff and pulled away so fast it sent a chill over her body. All humor and sweetness evaporated as his mood took a sinister bend.
"What?" she teased. "No cute comeback?"
"Not really." There was no mistaking that tone.