George, we have a serious issue to discuss. Can you come to my office at 10:00 am today, Thursday 17th. Please come with figures on speed of invoicing.
J Rosson, III 723, nc 11723JR.
There goes our cash flow down the f.u.c.king tube. And interest payments to the Centre. Great.
There was a fretful knocking at his door. Jonathan could guess who it was. Two minutes was all the time he had.
In came Harriet, gray hair flying. What you might call an individual. Jonathan swiveled, knowing his body language showed no surprise or alarm. His greeting was warm, friendly, in control. So far, so good.
"h.e.l.lo, Harriet, good to see you, but I"m afraid I"m up against it this morning. I expect you"ve heard about Simon. "
"Yes, I have actually," said Harriet, eyes bright, smile wide. She was preparing to sit down.
No, my door is not always open. Don"t mess with my time management, lady. "I"d love to talk to you about it when I can give you some time. How about 10:10 this morning?"
"This will only take a minute. " Harriet was still smiling. A tough old bird.
"I doubt that very much. It"s an important issue, and I"d like to talk to you about it properly. " With a flourish, he keyed her into his Dayplan. "there we go. 10:10. See you then?"
Harriet accepted defeat with good grace. "Lovely," she said. "I"ll look forward to that. " She even gave him a sweet little wave as she left.
Poor old cow is scared, thought Jonathan. Well, there are no plans to get rid of her, so that should be a fairly easy session.
Next. Up came a report on a new initiative in timekeeping, a hobby horse of Jonathan"s. Was a priority one justified just because he was interested in it? He decided to downgrade it, show he was keeping a sense of proportion, that he was a team player. He gave it a two and booked it in for Friday.
He was behind schedule. Thanks, Harriet. Next was a note of praise for a job well done from that crawler Jason. The guy even writes memos to apologize for not writing memos. Jonathan wastebinned it with a grin. Next was a welfare report on the Team"s resident schizophrenic. Jonathan was sure the poor guy had been hired just to give them a bit of an obstacle to show jump. The Welfare Officer was asking him to counsel the man to reduce his smoking in the office. But. He was to remember that the stress of giving up smoking could trigger another schizophrenic episode.
Oh come on, this really must be a monitoring exercise. Jonathan thought a moment. He should therefore show that he knew it was an exercise and not take it too seriously. So, he delegated. He dumped the whole report off his own screen and into the Dayplan of his Supporting Officer.
And so, 8:55. Five minutes to prep for Sally. Jeez, thought Jonathan. I hope I"m not showing. Not showing fear. Which meant, of course, that he was.
Simply, Sally was one of the big boys. She was the same grade as Jonathan, a 1. 1 on a level D, but she was younger, whiplash quick, utterly charming, and she always won. Jonathan knew her scores were infinitely better than his own.
Sally had been naughty. Her Division and his Team had to cooperate on projects that were both above and below the line. Without telling him, she had called a meeting on his own grade 2s, flattered them no end, and then got the poor lambs to agree, just as a point of procedure, that all joint projects would be registered with her Division. This would cost his Team about three hundred thousand a year in turnover.
Jonathan had countered with a report on procedures, reminding all concerned that such decisions needed to be made at Divisional level, and suggesting a more thorough procedural review. Sally had countered with enthusiastic agreement, deadly, but said a joint presentation on procedures might eliminate misunderstanding. The difference between discussion and presentation was the difference between procedures up for grabs, and procedures already set and agreed.
When Jonathan pointed this out at a Divisional Liaison, Sally had said "Awwww!" as if he were a hurt, suspicious child. She had even started to counsel him-in front of management! Jonathan had never felt so angry, so outmaneuvered. Now his Team had noticed pieces of artwork they should have controlled going elsewhere and wanted him to do something about it. Too late, guys. b.l.o.o.d.y Harry, his boss, was too dim to see what had happened, or too feeble to fight. Harry had agreed to the presentation.
So, he told himself. The posture has to be teamwork, cooperation between different parts of the same organization, steer like h.e.l.l to get back what he could. And keep smiling.
He put his phone and mail through to Support and went downstairs.
Sally"s office was neater than his own, and had tiny white furniture. It was like sitting on porcelain teacups. He was sure she chose the furniture deliberately to make large men feel clumsy. Sally offered him coffee. Christ, what was his caffeine count already? Too many stimulants, you lost points. Was she trying to jangle him, get him shaky?
"Oh, great, thanks," he said. "White with one sugar. "
"Help yourself," she said. Her smile was warm and friendly. What she meant was: help yourself, I"m not your mother.
"Real cream," acknowledged Jonathan as he poured.
"Nothing but the best is good enough for us," said Sally. She was luxuriantly made up, frosted with sheen. She sat down opposite him. Her hair was in different streaks of honey, beige and blonde, and she was slim under her sharp and padded suit. Her entire mien was sociable and open, inviting trust.
"Thanks for the report," she said. "It was very useful, and I really want to thank you for organizing the presentation for us. "
Jonathan had fought it every step of the way. "My pleasure," he said. "We really need to get the two teams together to talk. I just want to be clear that what we"re aiming to do is work towards a set of procedures for shared work, which keeps everything going to the right people. "
Sally nodded. But she didn"t speak.
Jonathan double-checked. "Am I right?"
Her smile broadened just a stretch. "Uh-huh. We do have a set of procedures that your own staff agreed. "
"Not all my staff, and not the Quality Action Units who should have been involved. The idea is to empower everyone in the organization. "
"Well, I"m sure we can iron out any points of difference. Refer them to the Quasi. OK?"
Jonathan played back the same trick, an uncommitted shrug. But it was one up to him.
A peace offering? Sally kept on. "I also thought that we should present to you first. Most of my staff are familiar with what you do, but our CD ROM work is new, and we need to go over it with your team. "
Can I let her get away with that? the clock was ticking, his heart was racing. Caffeine and three hundred thousand smackers. Basically, her staff would NOT be there, say just three of them. They would have the floor and the agenda, but his people would outnumber them, and it would be very easy to take pot shots from the audience. On balance, yes, he could go along with that.
So he agreed. They set dates and agreed how to split the cost of wine and food. Sally gave him a warm and enveloping smile as he left.
Climbing back up the stairs, he reckoned he had scored a five. She still had the initiative, she"d gone no distance towards giving up registration of his jobs, but then, it could be argued that Harry had given them away. I got some points across, but anyone could see I was tense. Jeez. Why do I do it to myself?
Right, now it was Billy, then Dead s.p.a.ce, then the brief on the Commission tender, then lunch.
Lunch with Harry, his boss. Harry was shy and hated schmoozing, which was endearing in a boss, if only he didn"t wring his hands for hours at a time and utterly fail to make decisions. Jonathan braced himself for an hour of whining. Jonathan used to work out at lunchtime, till he realized that he scored a full . 03 higher if he social-grazed instead. He was climbing the stairs now, to keep fit, though he was not too sure if anyone was noticing. For some reason, he was feeling mean when William arrived for the Sales Meeting.
"Template?" Jonathan snapped at him. William"s eyes glittered. Look at those lenses dive for cover. William was in his early twenties, uncomely, gay, nervous. He was supposed to have the agreed agenda and a place for agreed action notes. "Ah. It"s just here. " When William found his sheet, the agenda section was left blank.
Jonathan tapped the white s.p.a.ce, and chuckled, and shook his head, like an indulgent father. "Billy, Billy, what am I going to do with you? Couldn"t you remember to print it out? Here, use mine and photocopy it to me after the meeting. Did we get the form letters out?"
Billy had. Well, what do you know?
"All sixty? Great. Thanks very much. Now. The new fax number. We sent all our customers the new fax number, right? Fine. Then why did the Commission fax us a copy of a tender brief on the old number?"
Billy"s face fell.
"They sent us a tender, Billy, and it went to our old number, which is with Interactive Media now, who are not necessarily our greatest chums, where it sat for a full afternoon. So now we have four days instead of a working week to develop a full tender with designs. Do you see the problem here?"
Billy face went white and distressed.
The real problem, Jonathan cursed to himself, is that management expects me to make sales without any funding, so I have to use poor Billy from Support who is as sweet as a lamb, but Jeez! Jonathan watched as William scrambled through his s.h.a.ggy files. OK.
Jonathan decided to try a new management technique. He tried to make himself fancy Billy s.e.xually. LLA, Low Level Attraction, could generate good Team bonding. In fact, people with low to middle bis.e.xuality scores had a favoured Starting-Gun Profile.
So Jonathan looked at Billy and tried, but Billy had chalk white skin and lank black hair, and spots, the thick, clotted, dumb kind of spot that never comes to a head.
I hate this guy, this puny, nervy little idiot; I just can"t resist trying to break him.
"Um," said Billy, miserable, balancing his spread-eagled file on his lap. "Yeah, well, I, uh, didn"t fax the Commission because it was among my problems to be resolved. "
"You mean you didn"t know the Commission was one of your clients?" Jonathan managed to say it more in sorrow that in anger.
"I think it was that I didn"t know who were our contact names there. "
Neither, now that he thought about it, did Jonathan. "OK," he sighed. "Look. Talk to Clara, she"ll know them, and then just send the notification you"ve got. Don"t apologize or let them know that we didn"t tell them in time. If they ask, the number has just changed. I don"t want them to know we had this little hiccup. OK?"
"OK," Billy murmured.
"And, Billy, please. Don"t try to keep all your correspondence in one file? You"ll find it easier if you keep things separate. "
Billy thanked him for the advice. Then he suggested that Jonathan might like to come around to his place for drinks.
I don"t believe this. This kid was making a pa.s.s at him, he was so desperate. OK, we"re both playing the same LLA game. How can we both win? Don"t be judgmental, turn the attraction, if that was what you could call it, into friendliness, team bonding.
"That"s a great idea, Billy. But I"ve been feeling bad about not inviting you to my place. I think you"ve met my wife, but you"ve never even seen my daughter. Are you free next week?"
Billy looked relieved. Jonathan was relieved too, and thanked him for the job he was doing, and in the general thanking and summing up the invitations were forgotten.
Billy left and Jonathan sat back and sighed. He was feeling tired a lot these days. He saw Sally"s face, pink glossy lips parted, as she gave a tiny cry. He sat still for a moment, his eyes closed.
It was 9:57. Jonathan couldn"t help himself. He checked his scores again. He really must stop doing this. It was like when he got hooked on the I Ching, and had to have Chaos therapy to kick it. But all he wanted was a breakdown, a fuller breakdown of this morning"s score with Simon.
Verbal content 4. 79.
OK, I knew I was bad, but that bad?
Body Language 4. 5.
What? Oh, come on. What was I supposed to do, pick my nose? Jonathan actioned a more in-depth a.n.a.lysis. Artificiality, his machine told him, a lack of visible sincerity.
Christ! You can"t move around this place. If I"d been sincere, I would have said, you f.u.c.ked up that own-account job eighteen months ago, and you"ve been a liability ever since and you"ve done nothing any better, so we"re ditching you like we should have done even earlier. I was just trying to be f.u.c.king kind. What should I have done, told him to f.u.c.k off?
So what got me my good score? this breakdown is terrible.
10:00 Dead s.p.a.ce.
And the computer flipped itself out into a proactive intervention.
Suddenly, it started to play him the tape of the morning"s session with Simon. There he was, fat, stone-faced, saying, "It"s not written for me. It"s written for Personnel. "
A full a.n.a.lysis scrolled up on the screen. Flesh tones, oxygen use, body language, uncharacteristic verbals, atypical eye use.
Behavior typical of industrial sabotage. Rage mixed with satisfaction.
In other words, Simon had become dangerous. Not a little bit dangerous, very dangerous. Determined, apparently, to get revenge.
In-house sabotage is one of the greatest problems now facing both manufacturing and service industries.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I"ve been on the course. Jonathan glanced up at the door to make sure it was closed. He could verbal and no-one would hear. George was supposed to be seeing him, but George, thank heaven, was late as usual.
"First. " Jonathan asked the computer. "Why didn"t you warn me before?"
Programmed to hold all proactive interventions until Dead s.p.a.ce "Alright, reprogram. If you get a priority like this again, you are to intervene immediately. Please confirm. "
Confirmed "What are the possible actions taken by Simon Hasley?"
Action taken "Fine. What is it?"
There was no response at all. It was almost as though the machine had crashed, right in the middle of proactive intervention. It simply went back to what it had been doing before.
The machine had been a.n.a.lyzing Jonathan"s performance.
This time he noticed the total score in the upper right hand corner. His total score was 5. 2. It had been 7. 2. If Jonathan knew anything, he knew his own scores.
Simon was changing them.
"CV, please, full CV on Simon Hasley. "
Not available.
File cancelled due to termination of employment "Simon Hasley is here until 31st August. His files are not cancelled. "
Not available.
File cancelled due to termination of employment "Then open the ex-employee file. "
"Action. Restore scores for Dayplan Item One to 7. 2. "
ACTION NOT AUTHORIZED.
Jonathan slammed the top of his desk.
George walked in. To talk about late invoicing. And the b.l.o.o.d.y machine flipped back to its proactive intervention.
"It"s not my letter," Simon was saying. Jeez, how embarra.s.sing, right in front of other staff.
"Stop intervention," Jonathan ordered. "Sit down, George. "
Then Jonathan remembered. What had Simon said? Something about Accounts, that he"d worked in Accounts. Accounts with their big system who did all the monitoring. The really big boys. Simon would have swept up after them, wiped their a.s.ses, what does he know about the system?
George was talking to him, and Jonathan realized he had not heard a word. He was losing this, he was not handling it.