Ren Zhouyan did not know how he got back home. After seeing the guy"s face, he felt his blood run cold*. His body trembled involuntarily, subconsciously wanting to stay away from that person.

*MTL: blood vessels freeze

Only when he got back home and saw his son sitting silently in the living room while writing letters did he recover, clearly understanding that those lonely and helpless days were over.An-an heard the sound of the door opening and looked up from the copybook. Seeing Ren Zhouyan, his small face couldn"t conceal his excitement. He quickly set aside the copybook, welcoming Ren Zhouyan by throwing himself into his arms, saying: "Dad, you"re back!" He nuzzled his chest and asked, "Dad, how did you do at work? Can we live here?"Ren Zhouyan looked at his son"s pair of eyes staring at him expectantly, his face almost breaking into a smile. He picked him up and sat on the couch, his head organizing his thoughts on how to tell him they weren"t going to stay in the city.Before returning here, he didn"t think that he would meet that man. After all, this was where they met, where they hit it off, and where An was conceived. He had envisioned countless times when the two of them would see each other again, but not at this time.He was an orphan, alone since he was young. At childhood, he was envious of others who had parents. Like all orphans, he was always asking G.o.d in his heart why everyone else had a father and mother while he had none.Later when he grew up, he eventually discovered that he liked men, and became more dissatisfied with the heavens. His life was destined to have none of the so-called family fortune. As a child, he had no parents, and as an adult, he wouldn"t have a wife and children.These thoughts gradually faded with age. He believed he no longer cared about them, but after Ren Ju An"s birth, he found that he never really stopped caring.However, even though he wanted a family, he did not want to be a woman.And that person’s beginning is not perfect, it can even be said that they have never had a start*.

*probably referring to Leonid

When he realized he was pregnant, he panicked. He had no parents, had no one to ask.  He could only flee the city with this secret by himself. He often thought if the people he was familiar with knew about this, they would gaze at him, and he would remember the gazes he got when people discovered he was an orphan. So in the early days of An"s pregnancy, his mood was very unstable. He even had the idea of dying together with the child.At that time, he had just been admitted to graduate school. He was in the golden time of his life, but because of the baby* in his belly, he had to abandon everything and go into exile. The only fortunate thing was that because he had been independent from his relatives for a long time, he started working since he entered junior high school and had saved up many years" worth of money. It was enough to support him until the child was born.

*MTL: piece of meat in his belly - sounds awkward lol, so I changed it

Whether to give birth to the child or not was another problem, however……Hearing An"s voice calling him, Ren Zhouyan"s distant thoughts were pulled back into reality. He clutched An"s hand tightly, his heart feeling conflicted.He wanted to escape, but he didn"t want to hurt the child"s heart.In a few seconds, Ren Zhouyan had thought of countless excuses on how to explain the situation to An. But looking at his eyes, he couldn"t say a single one of them.His promise to his son two days ago echoed in his head, confusing him*, so he had to say: “Yes ah, aren"t we already living here? Ann isn"t unhappy?*”

*MTL: Two days before his son’s oath, as in the ear echo general beguiled him

*a bit confused here. Bing and Google translate this as "Ann is unhappy?" or something, but systranet says "Is An happy?" Based on the context, the second one probably fits better. (original text: 安安高不高兴)

Sure enough, as he heard him say so, An"s eyes shone and he nodded fiercely.Ren Zhouyan kissed his face and said: "If An-an is happy, Dad is happy."  He thought for a moment then added: "But An has to be obedient. When Dad goes to work, he won"t have time to take care of you. An is about to go to kindergarten. Play with the other kids, okay?"Ren Zhouyan thought, if he did not plan to work in Vichy, he would have to find another job sooner or later. When he moved here, he had spent most of his savings. Perhaps he had to resume his old profession and check with Fan Wenfeng if there were any ma.n.u.scripts that he could write.Oh yes, he would give Fan Wenfeng a call and tell him he wouldn"t be working in that company.Before coming, Ren Zhouyan had thought about settling down* in this place. Fen Wenfeng helped him rent an apartment and sign a one-year lease. He was pressured for 3 months of rent and paid one month"s worth. He was very distressed, and since he hadn"t landed any work, he had to find another job quickly.

*MTL: taking root

He was secretly thinking about it, but didn"t realize An was unhappily resting in his arm. He pouted and grabbed Ren Zhouyan"s clothes, playing silently. When he settled everything in his heart, he discovered his son"s actions.He jolted his legs to attract the boy"s attention. An raised his head and Ren Zhouyan asked him, "What"s up?"An"s heart was aggrieved. He didn"t want to go to kindergarten, he just wanted to stay with Dad all day. But he also knew that Dad was busy working to support the family. If Dad found a job here, he would have to work. He couldn"t stay with him. At this thought, he felt that the whole world was quite sad.Compared to always moving around, he didn"t like the days when he couldn"t see his father more.He thought about it and whispered: "Did Dad really find a job?"Ren Zhouyan tried to recall in his heart when he had given himself away.However, he didn"t expect An to quickly say: "Dad, we aren"t going to live here?"An"s voice got smaller as he spoke, but Ren Zhouyan still managed to hear him. He froze for a moment, wanting to understand the meaning behind An"s words. He began to think back to his former way of life, and how restless it was for the child. He had an opportunity now, so he shouldn"t make it worse.Ren Zhouyan frowned, pretending to be troubled. "An doesn"t like it here? If you don"t like it, Dad will go to the company and tell the uncles there that he won"t work for them*, and also talk with uncle Wenfeng to help us find a new apartment."An listened, glancing at Ren Zhouyan a few times. His mouth was pursed, seemingly wanting to say something but holding back. Ren Zhouyan looked down and leaned forward, taking the phone out from his bag. He slowly unlocked it. Before he could press the contacts, An"s little palms were on his hands, shaking his head like a rattle. "An likes!"Ren Zhouyan held back his laugh, raising his eyebrows instead. "Really?" He nodded and said, "Dad doesn"t want An to be sad. If you don"t like it, you must talk to me, or Dad won"t know anything."Hearing that, An paused. His eyes flashed, like a battle between heaven and earth was going on within them. Finally, he clenched his teeth and firmly said: "An said I like!"This time Ren Zhouyan couldn"t help it and burst out laughing. He kissed and pinched his son, thinking about how cute he looked. He felt bad that he had to hurt him. Such a caring son, thankfully he didn"t miss out on him.After settling down Ren Ju An and coaxing him to take a nap, Ren Zhouyan made a phone call to Fan Wenfeng.He casually made an excuse that he didn"t like that company, but also asked Fan Wenfeng if he incidentally had any ma.n.u.scripts that he could work on to earn some extra money.Fan Wenfeng directly ignored him and hurriedly asked: "Why not go? Didn"t you say this morning that you had no problem?" He paused and asked again. "Did Vichy call you?""No,"Ren Zhouyan automatically replied. Before the other could react, he pressed on his temples, annoyed, and said: "That company didn"t call me yet. But I don"t want to go. Think about it. A science and technology company doesn"t suit me. I like literary work* more, if you have free time, help me inquire about it."

*MTL: text work/paperwork, but this probably suits it better

"Why?" Fan Wenfeng wasn"t perturbed by his non-compliance*. "That company is really good. Even if their boss is a foreigner, the company system and state-owned enterprise isn"t bad. It"s an iron job*. You go in and get paid with wages like those from foreign companies, but enjoy the benefits of a state-owned enterprise. It"s hard to find an alternative for such a good company."

*范文锋不依不挠, MTL: Fan Wenfeng non-compliance does not scratch

*aka: it"s a secured job

Afraid of his retort, Fan Wenfeng quickly added: "My friend also told me that the company"s boss is very daring. He thinks uniquely, acting fast and accurately. Working under this kind of boss, you cannot figure out people are very difficult*. Besides, isn"t the post you"re applying for dealing with paperwork? The company"s client base is 5-18 year old children. Doesn"t your son go to school? Employees have discount."

*你想不出人头地都很困难。

Fan Wenfeng held the company in incredibly high regard* and hoped he could think about it again. Ren Zhouyan listened while thinking of that ambitious foreigner he had contact with. Although the memory of the time when they had met was already vague, he was indeed a very a very bold person in his impression.However he wanted to send An to school. He shook his head weakly. He didn"t have the courage to go beyond this point.

*范文锋将这家公司捧得天上有地下无 MTL: Fan Wenfeng this company holding the sky there is no ground

Fen Wenfeng sung a one-man show*, but Ren Zhouyan"s mind had been set. Whatever he said couldn"t shake him. Fan Wenfeng couldn"t do anything but promise to help him find another job. Before he hung up, Fan Wenfeng suddenly thought of something and asked him: "Yes, you want to draft. Do you want to use that ident.i.ty or a random one?"

*aka – monologued

Ren Zhouyan paused and replied: "For the time being, use the first one. While I"m here……I can temporarily support it."Hearing that, Fan Wenfeng went silent for a while. The two exchanged a few more greetings before ending the call.Ren Zhouyan held the phone after hanging up.Clutching the machine, he sank into the fabric of the sofa and stared at the screen that had long gone dark.In his mind, he thought of how he made a living all over the place while he lived with An.He was never a strong man, though he had once thought he was. But ever since he had An, he went from being one person to being a family of two. In order to take up this "responsibility," he would spread the use of a day into two*. But thanks to this, he had at least gained something after all these years.

*那时候的他几乎将一天掰开成两天用

Ren Zhouyan rubbed his eyebrows. Ever since he had returned to this city, he couldn"t stop recalling his past. He thought of the man again…the man who couldn"t even remember his name.His life before was already bad enough. There was no need for another person to make it worse.

TL Note: So many notes…  orz. I’m sorry guys if there are a tad bit more notes in this chapter (are there, though? Idk I don’t keep count). MTL can only do so much.

Anyways, isn’t An the sweetest little bun? The way he cares for Ren Zhouyan is adorable! Especially in that part where ‘his eyes flashed as if there was a battle between heaven and earth within them.‘ asdfghjkl he wanted to leave the place since he doesn’t want Ren Zhouyan to be apart from him as he works in his new job, but he also knows that Dad is working hard to support him ahhhhh

Even though I don’t want kids, I love reading about them, especially if they’re as sensible as little An here.

Thanks for reading! If you find any mistakes/better phrases to use in place of some of the notes, please do tell. It’ll help everyone reading and me~

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