Private Pleasures.
Bertrice Small.
FOR KATHE ROBIN,.
WHO LIKES IT VERY, VERY HOT.
Chapter One.
"I think Jeff is having an affair," Nora Buckley said unhappily, looking about the kitchen table at her four friends.
The women of Ansley Court shifted uncomfortably, throwing quick looks at one another. It was a difficult situation.
"So." Rina Seligmann, the oldest of them, finally broke the silence. "What else is new, sweetie? I mean who hasn"t Jeff hit on all the years we"ve lived here?"
The silence deepened appreciably with her words.
"Oh, my G.o.d!" Rina gasped as the truth hit her. She looked at Nora sympathetically. "You didn"t know, hon? You really didn"t know? s.h.i.t! I"m sorry, Nora. I didn"t mean . . ." Her voice trailed off.
"What makes you think Jeff is having an affair?" Carla Johnson, Nora"s best friend, asked quietly. "And don"t pay any attention to Rina. She"s got a big mouth, and a bigger imagination." She gave Rina a sharp look.
Nora Buckley swallowed hard, her questioning glance encompa.s.sing the other four women at the table. "Did any of you . . . ?" Her voice trailed off.
"NO!" they all chorused with one voice.
"Then why did Rina say it?" Nora looked as if she was going to cry. She was a pretty woman with fading red hair and soft gray green eyes.
"Because," Carla explained, "there used to be rumors at the club about what a big flirt Jeff was. I suspect a few women even succ.u.mbed to his charms, but honey, it"s all water under the bridge. No one took him seriously except one or two professional widows, or a divorcee hot to trot. We sure never did. Now, what"s got you so d.a.m.ned upset, Nora? Why are you so suddenly certain that Jeff is having an affair, and with whom, for heaven"s sake?"
"It"s someone at his office, or at least connected with his business," Nora replied softly. "He"s in town far more than he is here, isn"t he? He"s been home once in the last ten days. Just once. I don"t know what to do, or think."
"And?" Carla probed as the others tried not to look too interested. Carla was the most sensible of them all. She had taken Nora under her wing from the moment they had met. Carla was no-nonsense. Nora was gentle, almost helpless except where her house and her two children were concerned.
"There have been more and more late nights when he does come home," Nora said. "And calls on the weekends to his business phone in the den. If I pick it up, the caller hangs up," Nora explained. She sighed. "I know the kids have more than consumed me, but raising children is hard work. Maybe I haven"t been as attentive to Jeff as I might have been. And I"ve let myself go a little because I never seem to have enough time for me anymore. Suddenly I feel as if Jeff and I don"t have anything in common. He"s so distant when he is home. It"s like he"s paying his mother a reluctant visit instead of coming home to his wife and his family. He doesn"t seem interested in us at all."
Rina nodded. "I think you"ve got it right, hon," she said stoically. "He"s sure showing all the signs of a man on the prowl, and don"t glare at me, Carla. What else can it be?" She reached for a jelly stick, and bit into it.
"How the h.e.l.l did you get so smart? And how would you know such things?" Carla snapped. "Sam is so d.a.m.ned devoted to you that it"s sickening. You"re the luckiest woman on Ansley Court, Rina, and you know it."
"Hey, I read Cosmo and Ms. too," Rina snapped back. "I may be the oldest of us all, but I"m not dead yet by any means." She took another bite of the jelly stick.
Her companions laughed. Rina was the only one of them who would really stand up to Carla Johnson. They were six years apart in age, but very much alike in character.
"But what am I going to do?" Nora wailed plaintively. "I"m scared to death for the first time in my life. What if he leaves me?"
"Well, you have to consider if you"re better with him or without him," Tiffany Pietro d"Angelo, silent until then, said. "Isn"t that what "Dear Abby" asks?" She was a pretty and pet.i.te blonde whose lawyer husband was in local practice with Carla"s husband.
"I honestly don"t know," Nora said slowly, "but if he"s in love with another woman, I can"t stand in the way of his happiness. But then, do I really want to throw away twenty-six years of marriage?"
"What have you got?" Rina asked bluntly.
"Got?" Nora looked confused.
"Yeah, got. In your name. The house? And if you"re smart, you"ll clear out all the joint bank accounts right away. Put "em in your name," Rina advised. "And move your own bank account somewhere your husband doesn"t know about. Jeff is at that dangerous age. When they get involved at this time in their lives they usually want to start all over again with the Jennifer."
"Jennifer? You know her name?" Nora looked confused, and the others struggled to keep from giggling. Nora was really such a sweet innocent even after two kids and all those years of marriage.
"The Jennifer is what they call the young girlfriend who usually ends up being the second wife. The trophy wife," Rina explained acerbically. "Who knows what her real name is? Heather. Courtney. Madison. Who cares?"
The others giggled.
"So," Rina repeated. "What have you got?"
"I don"t think I have anything," Nora said softly with a sigh. "The house is in Jeff"s name. The only bank account I have is a joint one with Jeff. I pay all the bills a.s.sociated with the house and the children. He deposits my allowance into it once a month. That"s what his father did for his mother."
"Jesus Jenny!" Rina exploded while the other three woman just looked disbelieving. "I thought women like you went out in the fifties, Nora. You don"t own the house? Not even jointly? You don"t have some money of your own put aside for emergencies? s.h.i.t! I think that you are in really big trouble, hon."
"Shut up!" Carla said. "We don"t know anything for sure. You"re scaring Nora to death with all your talk. How do we know Jeff is having an affair, or that he"s going to dump his wife for another woman? You"re letting that d.a.m.ned imagination of yours run away with you. You all are!" She put a comforting arm about her best friend. "Nora"s just down in the dumps because Jeff is being a little worse than his c.r.a.ppy self. Mr. Workaholic. That"s Jeff. Nora"s lonely. Jill is finishing college, and working so she can support herself at law school. J. J. is graduating high school, and headed off to college in August. Nora"s facing an empty nest. You know what I think, girls? I think Nora needs The Channel. I think it"s time we shared our little secret with her." She looked about, grinning conspiratorially at the others. "Am I right? Huh?"
"Ohhh, yes!" Tiffany giggled. "I just love The Channel? What would we all do without The Channel? I remember how I always hated Joe"s poker night until you introduced me to The Channel. But now Joe can play cards till the cows come home for all I care." She got a dreamy look on her pretty face, her slim fingers twirling a lock of her champagne blond hair. "Thank heavens for The Channel!" She sighed gustily.
"How come we"ve never told Nora about The Channel before, Carla?" Joanne Ulrich wondered aloud. Like Tiffany she was pet.i.te, but where the youngest of them was slender, Joanne was plump in a pretty and comfortable way. "We generally share everything as a rule."
"Do you really think Nora was ready for The Channel before today?" Rina replied with a mischievous grin as she reached for another jelly stick. She was one of those tall women who never gained weight. "Not really."
The other women laughed knowingly, nodding, sharing the secret.
"What channel?" Nora asked them. "What on earth are you talking about?"
"Yeah," Carla agreed. "I think it is time for us to share The Channel with Nora." She turned to her best friend. "It"s this interactive thing we get through the television, sweetie," she began. "It"s really difficult to explain. You have to experience it to understand it. The next time you"re going to be alone for the whole evening, call Suburban Cable, and tell them you want The Channel. That"s all you have to do. Try it. I"ll bet you"ll like it. We all use it, and we all love it. You"ll feel a h.e.l.luva lot better after an evening with The Channel, Nora."
"What channel?" Nora repeated, looking very confused. "Is it like House and Garden? And what"s interactive?"
The women burst out laughing again, unable to contain themselves.
"House and Garden," Tiffany wheezed, laughing so hard that the tears ran down her pretty face.
Finally Carla managed to get ahold of herself, and said, "No, hon, it isn"t at all like House and Garden. At least it isn"t for me. It"s different for everyone. But who knows with you, Nora? Look, have I ever steered you wrong? Trust me. Just ask Suburban for The Channel. That"s all you have to say. "I want The Channel." Now somebody pa.s.s me a jelly stick before Rina eats them all. Is this a coffee klatch, or not?"
"Like you need a jelly stick," Rina chuckled with a smile.
"What can I say?" Carla replied, biting into the pastry and quickly licking the jelly that squirted onto her chin. "Your homemade jelly sticks are the best! Besides, Rick likes me cuddly and huggable." She grinned at them.
The women of Ansley Court met every Monday morning for coffee and gossip. They had all moved into Ansley at Egret Pointe, an upscale subdivision, twenty to twenty-five years before. Rina and Sam Seligmann had built first on the cul-de-sac. They had been followed by Joanne and Carl Ulrich. The Buckleys and the Johnsons had by coincidence built at the same time. And finally Tiffany and Joe Pietro d"Angelo had constructed their house on the last lot on Ansley Court. Rina and Joanne were over fifty now. The other three were slightly younger.
They had raised their children together, while their husbands supported their families in the traditional old-fashioned way. Rina had once been a full-time social worker. Joanne an elementary school teacher. Carla was a nurse. Only Tiffany and Nora had never held down a job. Neighbors are not always the best of friends, but these five women were. They had done nursery school, PTA, Little League, and soccer together. They had gone trick-or-treating together in costume with their children and weathered chicken pox and flu seasons constantly, exchanging remedies. They even hung their Christmas lights out on the same day so Ansley Court wouldn"t be lopsided, as Tiffany liked to say.
Long ago the five families had bought a ramshackle old Victorian house, called a camp, for their summers. The house was set on a mountain lake. They shared their camp together throughout the warmer vacation months, and often into autumn weekends. They taught their kids to swim there, and more important how to identify poison ivy. The children had named it Camp Cozy. It had been a very comfortable and predictable lifestyle neatly bordered by the changing seasons. But now with Nora Buckley"s fears out in the open, something was changing, and not necessarily for the better. They could all feel it.
Nora"s husband, Jeff Buckley, wasn"t at all like their husbands, and he had never made any real effort to be friendly. Sam Seligmann was Egret Pointe"s favorite doctor. He had an old-fashioned general practice, rare in this day and age, but he was the kind of doctor his father had been, and he was content to follow in his father"s footsteps. Carl Ulrich owned the local hardware store, which continued to flourish despite the Home Depot in a nearby new mall. Carl gave his customers personal service. He was knowledgeable, as were his two longtime employees. They were unlike the kids working at the mall, who didn"t know a wing nut from a Brazil nut. Joe Pietro d"Angelo and Rick Johnson had a small country law practice in the village. They handled wills, house closings, a few local divorces, and other small matters usual to a country village. Carla was Joe"s cousin. Only Jeff Buckley, partner in a prestigious advertising agency, commuted to the nearby city.
Jeff had been very ambitious and career oriented. He had never been around a great deal. He missed his son"s Little League games each year, and despite the fact that the boy, named after him but called J. J., was star of the high school varsity soccer team, Jeff had never seen him play. And his daughter had fared no better. He had never seen her perform in a dance recital or a school play. She had gone to college in California, and had recently been accepted at Duke Law. Jeff enjoyed bragging about Jill"s accomplishments.
He showed up at Camp Cozy two weekends a summer: over the Fourth of July and Labor Day weekends. He was pleasant enough when he was around, but the other men had absolutely nothing in common with him. It was Nora they all knew and liked. They tolerated her husband for her sake. Jeff was definitely the odd man out, and he didn"t seem to care at all.
Nora Edwards had meet Jeffrey Buckley in her freshman year at college. He had been a senior. He was the quarterback of the football team, captain of the baseball team, and a brilliant scholar. He was the quintessential big man on campus. He had come to the freshman mixer with some fraternity buddies to check out the girls, looking for the s.l.u.ts who could be easily f.u.c.ked, and the nice girls who might be eventually seduced. But Jeff Buckley was ambitious, and wherever he was going, he would go to the top.
He had met Nora, and known immediately that this was the girl he wanted for a wife. She was perfect for him. She had the correct ethnic, religious, and political backgrounds. She was pretty in a subdued and ladylike way with her soft trusting eyes and her pageboy hairstyle. She wore a powder blue cashmere sweater set, and a strand of dainty pearls about her neck. She was an only child, innocent, carefully sheltered. She wasn"t stupid. In fact she was very intelligent, but she was unsophisticated. Her girlfriends told her how lucky she was to have attracted a guy like Jeff Buckley, and having fallen half in love with him that first night, she believed them. And she believed Jeff Buckley. A pat from him, a flash of his smile, and she was lost.
But most important of all to Jeff was that Nora was a virgin. And he made sure that she stayed that way until he married her. The word went out on the campus that pretty Nora Edwards was the property of Jeff Buckley, quarterback of State"s championship football team. On her birthday, November 30, he gave her his fraternity pin. She was serenaded by his fraternity just before the Christmas break, while standing in the cold before her dorm wearing the long dark green velvet formal gown she had worn to the Christmas dance at his fraternity house. Candles burned in the windows of the dorm, and the shadowed figures of the other girls could just be made out. She had almost frozen to death, but she had never shivered because she wanted him to be proud of her.
Nora had gone home with a cold, desperate to get well, as she was to spend New Year"s Eve at Jeff"s parents" home. His mother had called her mother and invited her. And on New Year"s Eve Jeff had put his hand in Nora"s underpants for the first time, fingering her c.l.i.toris until she almost fainted. When she had whimpered with her pleasure, he had stifled her cries with his kisses. At the fraternity"s spring formal he had asked her to marry him, and put a ring on her finger before she might answer, but of course he had known the answer would be yes.
Here, however, Nora"s parents had stepped into the romance. Nora was just eighteen. They wanted her to finish her college education, and they did not want her married until she did. When she was twenty-one they"d consider it. Jeff agreed. He had things to do before he entered into matrimony. He just didn"t want Nora to get away.
After graduating he had gone on to earn a masters" degree in business at Harvard, and done a brief military service. Then he had joined Coutts and Wickham, a very prestigious advertising firm in the city. Nora had remained at her studies, kept safe from other possible suitors, chaperoned by her fiance"s fraternity brothers to the various university social events when Jeff couldn"t join her.
Any young man approaching Nora was warned away in the strongest terms possible. One boy who refused to heed the warning was beaten up by unknown a.s.sailants. After that, no males approached Nora Edwards, but she never knew the lengths that Jeff had gone to, to keep her for himself. She had her studies, and everyone was so very nice to her.
Two weeks after her graduation with a degree in English literature, Nora Edwards had married Jeffrey Buckley in a large, tasteful all-white wedding, with six bridesmaids in white linen sheaths with narrow green ribbons at their waists, and wreaths of baby"s breath with white rosebuds topping their heads. After a honeymoon in Bermuda, they had moved in with his parents for a year while their own house was being built. The lot on Ansley Court had been a wedding gift from their grandparents.
When the house was finally finished they had moved into it. Nora had spent her days decorating and gardening, making their home a place that Jeff was proud to show off. And she had immediately made friends with her neighbors, and the subsequent neighbors to come. She had gotten pregnant, and had her two children, Jill and J. J., born four years apart. The others had gotten pregnant too, or already had children. Jill and J. J. had grown up with the Seligmann, Ulrich, Johnson, and Pietro d"Angelo kids. Becky Seligmann, and Natalie Ulrich had baby-sat J. J. Carla"s daughter, Maureen, would be graduating with J. J. shortly, leaving only the Pietro d"Angelo twins, Max and Brittany, on the court. They would graduate next year. And Ansley Court would be one big empty nest very soon. But no one planned to leave. Their homes were where their children and their grandchildren would come to visit, and there would be plenty of room.
Rina was already back to work for the county. So was Carla at the nearby hospital. Joanne was subbing for the local school district. Even Tiffany had been taking some law a.s.sociate courses at the community college. She was going to help out in Rick and Joe"s law firm. Only Nora seemed firmly stuck in place until now.
"Pretty soon I"ll be the only one left here at home." She voiced her thoughts aloud.
"So do something," Rina encouraged. "You"ve got a degree. Go take a computer course at the adult ed when J. J. goes off to college. I did it last year. I had to. You have to have computer knowledge today to do anything, it seems."
"All I have is a B.A. in English lit," Nora replied. "Where is that going to get me in this day and age? I never took any teaching credits because I was going to marry and stay home after college. I took home ec courses."
"The women"s lib movement was going strong, and you didn"t prepare yourself for the eventual possibility that you might be on your own one day?" Rina shook her head. "I mean what was going to happen if Jeff kicked the bucket all of a sudden? Or was in a fatal car crash?"
"Or got shot by an outraged husband," Joanne murmured beneath her breath.
Carla shot her a hard look.
"Back then we thought the women"s lib movement was just a bunch of lesbians, radicals, and liberals," Nora said. "No nice girl was going to get involved with them. Besides, I"m sure Jeff has made provisions for us in the event of a tragedy, although he would never believe anything could happen to him. He"s always been very good that way," Nora loyally defended her husband.
"How is he set up for retirement?" Rina continued to pursue the matter. "Does he have profit sharing, a Keogh, four-oh-one-k, a traditional pension?"
Nora shrugged. "I don"t know. We never discussed it."
"Well, you ought to know, hon." Now it was Carla who spoke up. G.o.d d.a.m.nit, she thought, Nora has always been so darned trusting. She isn"t stupid. Far from it. She"s just too nice. Too polite. And Jeff had taken full advantage of it. He was probably very well-fixed. And, Carla considered grimly, if he intended dumping his current wife for a younger model, he probably had already hidden his a.s.sets pretty well. Rick had mentioned such things. Nora was going to need help. "You gotta find out what he"s got," she advised her best friend. The other women nodded in agreement.
"How?" Nora said. "I haven"t the foggiest idea of how to go about such a thing. Besides, I don"t want Jeff to think I don"t trust him. He"s always been very good to me."
Carla looked for a moment as if she were going to explode, and Rina snorted scornfully, saying quietly, "You"ve been good to him too, sweetie." She turned. "Carla, do you think Rick could make a few discreet inquiries? I mean, just to give Nora an idea of the situation she"s facing in the event of the worst-case scenario."
"I"ll ask him," Carla agreed. And Rick would do it, or she"d kill him, Carla thought. Rina was right, although she would never say it aloud in front of Nora. Jeff Buckley was up to something. No one had to tell her he wasn"t coming home a whole lot anymore. If anything was going to happen, it would happen soon. With J. J. graduating, and going off to State in August, it was the perfect time for Jeff Buckley to bail on his wife and family. Carla stood up. "I gotta go, girls. I"m working the three-to-eleven shift today. Maureen"s doing supper for her dad. which probably means she"ll con him into bringing home some KFC." She laughed. "The kid won"t eat red meat, but she does love her KFC. Teenagers! Go figure."
"Tell her to have Rick bring me some too," Nora said. "Jeff probably won"t be home either, and J. J. is studying with his girlfriend. Or at least they say they"re studying," she finished with a wry smile.
"Oh," Tiffany said, "then this would be a perfect night for you to get The Channel, Nora! You really are going to like it."
"Can I get it during the day?" Nora asked.
Tiffany shook her head. "It"s only available at night," she replied with a giggle.
"None of you has told me yet exactly what The Channel is," Nora said. "Is it old movies? What?"
"It"s whatever you want it to be, and it"s different for each of us," Joanne said quietly. "We all see The Channel through our own eyes. It"s your perfect fantasy. You"ll see when you watch it tonight."
"Will I like it?"
"I think you will, but it depends," Joanne told her. She stood up. "I"ve got to go too. The school district wants me to help out during exam week next month. I"ve got some prep work to do. Rina, the jelly sticks were heaven, as always."
"Come on," Carla said, pulling Nora up and linking her arm in Nora"s. "I"ll walk you home. Thanks, Rina. See ya, Tiff, Joanne!"
"Why are you all so mysterious about this channel thing?" Nora asked as they walked across the cul-de-sac. "And how come you haven"t shared it with me before today? You don"t usually keep stuff from me, Carla. Why this?"
Carla sighed. "Because The Channel is a secret," she answered honestly. "It"s just for women, and it isn"t for every woman. If you like it, you"ll go back. If you don"t, you won"t, and you"ll forget all about it. That"s the way it is, and that"s the way it"s always been, I"m told. And most important, it"s a secret no woman shares with a man. You"ll understand once you"ve been there."
"That"s weird," Nora responded. "I don"t know if I want to get mixed up in something like that. Why can"t any of you tell me what it is? Why is everyone so evasive? And all the hush-hush stuff. Is it something illegal?"
They had reached the Buckleys and stood outside continuing to talk.
"Joanne told you the truth. We all view The Channel through different eyes, Nora. I guess the best way to explain it is to say that The Channel lets you live out your fantasies. It"s one thing for me, and another for the others. It will be entirely different for you too. Like I said earlier, it"s an interactive thingy, sweetie. I don"t understand how it works myself, but I sure love it."
"Oh," Nora said. She really didn"t understand this computer and interactive stuff. It was all Greek to her. She supposed she was going to have to learn about it if she was going to survive in this strange new world that seemed to have evolved while she had been busy being a good wife and mother. With J. J. gone in just a few short months, it might just be the right time to take a few courses. Rina and Carla were right.
"Let me know how you like The Channel," Carla said, her brown eyes twinkling as she and Nora parted at the Buckleys" kitchen stoop. "See ya!" And she was off across the perfect green lawn to her own house next door.
Nora entered her house, walking through the kitchen into the den, where she sat wearily down in her recliner. Voicing her fears aloud to her friends this morning had finally made her wake up and think about what was happening around her. For twenty-six years she had devoted herself to Jeff, his wants, his needs, their children. Everything was for them. She had never asked anything for herself. Consequently she had grown into a pretty dull person, Nora admitted to herself. Jeff led an exciting life, but her life was so d.a.m.ned ordinary and colorless. Maybe The Channel could be her first step on the road to a new and exciting Nora.
When they had come to Ansley Court it had been exciting. She had loved being at home, decorating each room lovingly and thoughtfully, working out in her gardens with Mr. Handlemann from the nursery, choosing the plants and trees for their property. She had picked fabrics and paints. Bought furniture and carpets. Jeff wasn"t interested in any of it. The house was hers, he told her. It was her realm to do with as she pleased as long as it was tasteful and elegant so they might eventually entertain his bosses and clients.
Jeff had gotten himself a job with Coutts and Wickham Advertising. In those days it had been a medium-sized agency. He was unusually clever at thinking up successful campaigns for the clients, and they liked him as well. Jeff had worked hard, but then, Nora thought, so had she. Their home was right out of Country Living. And in those early years she had entertained perfectly for the firm. Their Christmas parties had even been written up in the city paper"s Sunday color supplement. And Jeff had been made a partner. The firm was now known as Buckley, Coutts and Wickham Advertising.
And the children had been carefully s.p.a.ced four years apart. They were terrific kids. Jill had accelerated her college time. She would be through after the summer semester, having finished in just three years. Jill had already taken her LSAT exams and been accepted at Duke University"s law school. She would start in late summer. J. J. was not as focused as his sister had been at eighteen. J. J. would take four or more years to get his degree, if Nora wasn"t mistaken. But she had no doubt that when he found himself J. J. would excel in life.