31 FutureThings
‘I’m sorryFredericka, could you move away a bit?’ he said, hiding his face with his otherhand.
Did I dosomething wrong?
I pulled away.
Volker seemedto breathe a sigh of relief. Volker, are you alright? He looked a bit disgusted(Zuben: with himself) and didn’t look me in the eye.
‘Okay, it willsettle soon.’ He said with an awkward laugh. (Zuben: Little Volker is trying toeat you or is it get eaten?)
He lookedsomewhat strange. Did he not realise he was not feeling well? Or was he someonewho didn’t tell you they were ill?
My worryoverrode my nervousness. Without thinking I was in front of Volker, touchinghis cheeks, his forehead and his neck. His face was red, the temperature washigh, did he have a fever?
‘F-Fredericka?’
‘Is somethingwrong with your body? Do you hurt, you seem feverish, are you feeling dizzy?’
Since he hadsuch a busy work, he mustn’t have had time to rest. I’m sorry if you overworkedyourself because of me.
‘No I’m okay.’
He’s lying.Volker was lying to me. He looked away when he said that. He was so easy toread!
I held hisface in my hands and turned him to me, ‘Please look at me directly, and tellme. If you like to me, I will get mean.’
I don’t wanthim to lie to me. I’d want to be able to talk about anything with Volker. Iwant to be like my father and mother, you can make up with each other after youquarrel. Being able to say things toeach other that may be hard to hear or say. Was I strange?
No it wasn’t.We were going to be family…We were now a couple! (Zuben: Go Freddie…hehehehe)
‘What do youmean by “mean”?’ he asked.
Well, I haven’treally thought about it. How did I end up here?! Is it because I’ve never beenmean? There had once been a stray cat in the garden. I managed to get a hold ofit for cuddles, but it’s cries were like it was the end of its world.
‘Fredericka, I’mgoing to kiss you even if you get embarra.s.sed.’ He said with his face a bitscary. (Zuben: Actually he says, I’m going to kiss you even if you don’t likeit, which I think is a bit iffy so I changed it)
I wanted tosay something to make him laugh, but Volker’s face approached mine. His hazeleyes were half closed as his lips touched mine. He pulled and back held my facein his big hands.
Are you goingback because I didn’t close my eyes? I wondered about his actions.
But he tiltedhis head and came in again. When should I close my eyes?! We’re kissing again.Volker’s lips are surprisingly soft. He licked my lips. Why was he licking mylips? Now he was probing my lips, was it a sign I should open my mouth? Really?
Volker pulledback and looked at me with a heated half lidded eyes.
Oh my, what as.e.xy face.
I love him somuch!
I opened my mouth.
I was on hisknees again, and it was perfect.
Volker smiledhappily with his lips against my hair.
Oh, I didn’t knowkissing could make you tired. I think my tongue got swollen.
The RoyalGuard seems to be well versed in lots of different things, aren’t they?
(Zuben: OhFredericka)
Zuben: So manyexclamation marks and ellipses. It’s like everyone is in a state of hysteria.Even Volker.
32 The Man’sJealousy (Zuben: Again)
‘Fredericka, Iwant you to tell me truthfully…’
‘Yes…?’
I was restingon his shoulder feeling rather floaty. My tongue was still funny, I could stillspeak, right?
‘With Eugene Cajés,did you do things like this…?’
‘Eh?’
Did he mean,sitting on the lap and kissing and hugging? Not even once. He didn’t like me asa woman, or as a girlfriend. In public, he barely let me hold his arm, and hepretended to kiss me. I hadn’t been believable as his fiancé. I wonder if I hadbeen hated. It made me feel as though I had no charm as a woman. It was likeexposing I was regarded as attractive (Zuben: Volker already gave you flowersthat said so)
‘I don’t knowwhat to do…’ Volker said taking my silence as confirmation. He was smilingweirdly.
No, it is amisunderstanding!
‘No please don’tmisunderstand! Volker is my first kiss. Volker is the first person I’ve sat onhis lap. Eugene hated me.’
I could notbear it if he had the wrong idea.
‘He didn’t wantto be close to me when we were out together. If my chest hit his arm, he gotangry…’
Volker lookedpuzzled about what I was saying,
‘…what is wrongwith your b.r.e.a.s.t.s?’ he asked looking down at my chest. Rather than from afar,his hot gaze was put up close to my chest. I wasn’t wearing a low cut dresstoday, luckily. Was it vulgar for a girl to tell a story of her breast? (Zuben:Not if it is to the man who loves you)
Volker’s hand beganto move. Volker what are you doing? (Zuben: Say it out loud, Fredericka) Thehands that had been holding my back began to move around my side and up tounder my b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
‘Volker, whatis…?’
‘I’m sorryFredericka, I’m a jealous guy. I find the existence of any man who had touchedyou before me frustrating.’ (Zuben: ero oyaji, you didn’t know her then)
Volkersqueezed and lifted my b.r.e.a.s.t.s from the bottom.
‘Ah~’
I tried toescape, but his hands kept my close. Should I tell him Eugene’s remarks werenot nice? But I don’t mind the touching, but even so don’t rub it so much!
‘Volker…I’malready yours – oh~ even if I don’t touch you, you can touch me when you want…’
(Zuben:Fredericka, you are laying yourself on a platter like a roast turkey.)
Has thepurpose deviated somewhat? (Zuben: Well…)
Volker’ssecret movements have stopped.
‘Fredericka,you are…’
Did it getworse? Volker who lost his works had a frown on his face. Oh his hazel eyes areso beautiful. (Zuben: I dunno if I should say; get a hold of yourself girl!)
He was kissingme again. Harder than the last time. His hot tongue was rubbing against mine. Iwanted to get away because it began to ache but I was hugged tightly againsthis chest. I wanted to push him away with my tongue but it got caught andsucked. It was the opposite effect.
‘Fu~ a~’
Did they traintheir tongue in the Royal Guard? I definitely couldn’t win against the general,but would it not be more painful to give up and go with the flow? I thought Ishould wait a bit till Volker calmed down.
It was amistake.
In the end, mylips were swollen and it was so embarra.s.sing when everyone joined returned to us. Thatbeing said, Volker was so sweet and cute, that I forgive him. (Zuben: Bulldozed!)
33 The WorldIs Uninhibited
Father submittedour marriage application. Originally, I wanted to go with Volker, but it seemsthat the House was pretty rough. That being said it was approved according toprocedure.
I think I havebecome more like a fiancée. With meeting Volker more often, I’ve gotten used tothe kissing and touching. I don’t know what other fiancés do but there is nocomparison to my time with Eugene.
Actually, I receiveda letter of condemnation from Prince Stefan because I hadn’t come to play. Iquickly made my way to the Palace and apologised. Stefan is a real tsundere!
According tohis aides, he wanted someone to chat with freely while he had his tea timebreak.
So it was anovel experience to go to the Palace and say ‘I’ve come to play.’ But the otherparty is royalty it’s difficult to adjust. Maybe it’s better to wear a cat.(Zuben: ?)
Since he was adifficult royal-sama, today I am bringing presents of a rustic apple pie andcupcakes from a reputable and fashionable confectioners.
The CrownPrince had a sweet tooth so we had lots of sweet snacks at tea time.
He was verybusy, so we had our appointments during his afternoon tea time. I headed to thedesignated place. It was at a terrace facing the back gardens today. On my way,I was walking by a secluded courtyard when I heard a familiar voice.
Volker?
I went to apillar that enclosed the walk and I saw Volker leaning against a wall. It wasunusual for me to see him while I was in the Palace. I was about to approach himand say h.e.l.lo when I realised he wasn’t alone.
There was someoneelse; someone I didn’t know.
The man had aqueue of long chestnut hair down his back. He was laughing. Is it a funnystory? Volker’s voice was low.
Although itwas unbecoming of me, I sneaked closer.
‘You’re engagedbut haven’t had s.e.x? Are you hesitating because Fredericka is young?’
s.e.x…?
‘No…but, I’mworried because she’s so small.’
They must befriends.
‘Well, you can’thelp the pain the first time, but it will be fine from the next time.’
Well, I say!This seems to be about the so-called de-flowering.
I wonder aboutthat. I think I made a mistake in judgement coming here! I should have gottheir attention, but I was too shy!
‘I don’t wantto hurt Fredericka for my pleasure.’ He said kicking the gra.s.s petulantly in ahuff. It was the first time I’ve seen him behave like that.
‘Just let herget used to it and you. You know, fingers and tongue, or you can use perfumesor cream.’ Volker’s friend said moving his fingers. It looked rather obscene.What to do?!
‘I don’t thinkI will be able to endure. I will probably lose my head.’ Volker muttered. He lookedso nervous. He was so cute!
‘Just let herlose her head. Make her o.r.g.a.s.m two or three times, it will be fine.’
This person isso annoying! Too extreme!
‘Oh I don’t know...’Volker began to say when someone called him from afar.
‘I’m on myway,’ he replied. He was probably on a break from training or something.
He turned tohis friend and said, ‘No more time, I have to go. We’ll talk later.’
He left.
I breathedout. I didn’t know men talked to each other about things like this. I put myhands on my cheeks to cool them down when a voice said, ‘h.e.l.lo, nice to meetyou.’
‘Oh my…!’
‘Volker’s headif full of you, so he didn’t notice. He didn’t even listen to me…’
His friendleaned against the wall across from my hiding place.
He was notwearing a uniform,
‘I am DarrylBreslin, the Western General.’ He said introducing himself and holding out hishand. He looked rather gentle for a soldier. (Zuben: The reason they met)
I wondered whetherit was alright to shake hands with him, but then it would be rude not to takethe hand offered.
‘FrederickaCastley, I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable.’ He said.
I placed myhand in his. My hand is very small, I thought.
‘I wasn’t uncomfortable,but I think Volker-sama would be embarra.s.sed if he knew I was here.’ I repliedwith a laugh.
GeneralBreslin laughed too. He looked pleasant; Volker seems to have good friends.
‘Good, youmust do your best!’ he said laughing.
Uuuun, why?
♢ When...?