She put her arms around me, and her head upon my breast, as if I had been, at the very least, her brother.
"My pretty dear, what is it all about?"
I had never seen her look so lovely as now, her violet eyes br.i.m.m.i.n.g with liquid brightness, the velvet of her cheeks deepened to rich carmine, and the only thing that sweet face ever wanted, the expression of earnest feeling, now radiant through the whole.
"Why, dear, I ought not to tell you; but I must tell somebody, or my heart will break."
Here she pressed her little hand on that pure unfissured casket, where sorrow was as yet an undreamed-of robber.
"You know, dear, it"s all about papa and my darling Conny. The only trouble I ever have, but a very great one, big enough and too big for two little folk of my size. Half an hour ago, I went in suddenly to get a book upon the politico-economical science, the very one papa is lecturing about so beautifully; and I did not even know that Conny was in the house. There papa was, white as death with pa.s.sion; and Conrad with his eyes like coals of sparkling fire; and what do you suppose my papa called his own son Conny?"
"Don"t tell me, if it"s anything bad. I can"t bear it, Isola."
"Oh, I knew you were fond of him, and I am so glad!"
This she said in such an artless way--as if Conrad and I were two dolls which she meant to put in one doll"s house--that instead of colouring, I actually laughed.
"Oh, but I must tell you, Clara: it"s right for you to know; one of the leading principles of political economy--"
"Don"t talk to me of that stuff."
"Well, I won"t; because I see that you don"t understand it. But he actually called him--and his voice came from a depth, like an Artesian well--he called our darling Conny--"
"What?" And in my pa.s.sion, I flung off her hand, and stood up.
"A low b.a.s.t.a.r.d, a renegade hound, a scandal to his country--and then he even said Rimbecco."
She p.r.o.nounced the last word almost with a scream, as an insult beyond forgiveness. What it meant I did not ask, I had heard enough already.
"I must leave this house. Where is your brother Conrad?"
"Gone, I believe, to inquire for you. Nothing but that composes him. I wish he would never come here. And he was ordered not to. But it is about some business. Oh, he never will come again." And she began to cry at the thought of the very thing she had wished for.
"Neither will I come again. Where is your father now?"
"Up at his lumbering cabinet, where he always consoles himself, whenever he is put out. But if you are going, dear child, do let me come with you. I shall cry till I die here, all by myself: and Pappy never cares about me, when he is in his black dudgeon."
In a few minutes we left the rude unpleasant house, and even Judy seemed relieved to get away from the door. By the time we reached Mrs.
Shelfer"s, Idols was in capital spirits again, and pressed me for some account of the wonderful wealth, and the grand house she had heard of.
No doubt this rumour had found its way through Ann Maples.
"And the great Lord--what"s his name, dear Donna? I wouldn"t believe a word of it; though I"m sure you are a deal too good for all the house of peers. But Conny did; and wasn"t he in a way? But he ought to be very glad you know--wish you every blessing, as they say in the plays; and a peer is the very highest blessing to an Englishwoman. But one thing I am quite resolved on: Judy belongs to me now, don"t you, lovely Judy?"
"No," said the judicious, "I belong to Clara."
"Though Conny pretends, since he was left at your place, that he belongs to him. Now I will give him to you; and so will Conny too. You can afford to keep him now, and I can"t, he does eat such a lot; and he does not care a pin for me, but he loves you with all his heart."
"How do you know he does?" I was not attending much, but thinking of some one else.
"Why, can"t you see that he does, how he wags his tail every time you even look at him? But I hope poor Conny is here. I should think he would stop, when he finds _darling Clara_ come back."
I had jumped to that hope long ago, before we even left Lucas Street, and that had something to do with my walking so fast.
No, he was not there, he had not been there to-day. It was my turn now to cry; what might he not have done, after that fearful insult, and from his own father too?
The tears, which I confided to no one except the wooden-legged blackbird--for Giudice would have made such a fuss about them--were still upon my cheeks, when I heard the well-known step--not half so elastic as usual. I fled into my bedroom, and pushed the boxes about, to make a goodly noise, and to account for the colour in my face. Then out I came at the side-door, and ran downstairs perversely, though I knew that Conrad and Isola were in my sitting-room.
But this first-rate manoeuvre only outwitted its author, for Isola ran down after me, and sent me upstairs alone. All my little nonsense vanished the moment I looked in Conrad"s face. His healthy brown complexion was faded to an opal white; beneath his eyes such dark blue rims, that I thought he had spectacles on; and on either cheek a round red spot was burning. So shocked I was, that when he took my hand, I turned my face away and smothered down a sob. I felt that I had no right to be so fresh and blooming. Nor was it only in health that the contrast between us lay. I was dressed with unusual care, having fidgeted all the morning, and with my utmost taste. Poor Conrad was in his working clothes, full of marble dust, tumbled, threadbare, and even in need of mending; his hair swept anyhow, and his hands not over-lately washed. Yet, for all that, he was as clearly a gentleman, as I was a lady.
Not so would he have been arrayed, I fancy, had he thought to see neat Clara. And yet, who knows? "I trust that you will excuse me," he began to say, "but such things have happened lately--you will not account me rude--I had no sense at all of this great pleasure."
"I fear you have not been very happy." I knew not what to say, or how to keep my voice clear.
"Yes," he replied, "as happy as I deserve. It serves me aright for esteeming so much of myself, before that I do anything. But I will win my way"--and his own proud glance flashed out--"and we shall see how many will scorn me then."
"No one in the world can scorn you," I said very softly, and my voice thrilled through him.
"Ah, you are always kind and gentle:"--am I though, thought I--"but I will no more fatigue you with my different lot in life. I am told that some great n.o.bleman has won you for his own. Perhaps you will give me an order."
His throat was swelling with these bitter words, and he looked at his dusty clothes. Somewhat rude I thought him, but I knew not half his troubles.
"Whoever told you that, has made a great mistake. I am engaged to no one. Your sister knows me better." And I turned away to the window.
For a minute he said nothing; but I could hear his heart beat.
Stedfastly I looked at the cheesemonger"s shop. Oh for a flower, or something on the balcony!
Presently he came round the corner of the sofa. Without being rude, I could not help turning round.
His face was much, much, brighter, and his eyes more kind.
"Have I said any harm--I would not for the world--I knew not it was harm."
"No harm," I said, "to think so ill of me! To believe, for a single moment, that because I am not so poor, I would go and forsake--at least, I mean, forget--any one I cared for!"
"Can I ever hope, if I serve you all my life, that you will ever care for me?"
"Don"t you know I do?" And I burst into my violent flood.
When I came to myself, both his arms were round me, and I was looking up at his poor sick face, my hair quite full of marble chips, and he was telling me with glad tears in his eyes, which he never took from mine, how he cared for nothing now, not for all the world, not for glory or fur shame, so long as I only loved him.
"With all my heart and soul," I whispered, "him and no one else whatever, whether in life or death."
All the folly we went through I am not going to repeat, though I remember well every atom of it. Let the wise their wisdom keep, we are babes and sucklings. Neither of us had ever loved before, or ever meant to love again, except of course each other, and that should be for ever.
"One thing I must tell you, my own sweet love, and yet I fear to do it.
But you are not like other girls. There is no one like you, nor has there ever been. I think you will not scorn me for another"s fault."
"Of course I won"t, my own pet Conny. What is this awful thing?"
"I am an illegitimate son."