CSWH Chapter 58: Elder Brother"s Wish
"Ojou-sama, Parx-sama has come to see you."
Hearing Granny"s words from beyond the door, I wiped the blood on the palm of my hand and headed towards the door that was the one entrance and exit from this bedroom.
After pa.s.sing through the door was……the adjoining room was a parlour for "Mellice"s" use.
When I quickly glanced around it, I found three servants keeping watch over me lined up.
As expected, having them observe from directly inside my bedroom was a bit too much, so usually Granny or other servants standing watch stayed on standby in this room.
In the end, as long as they held control over the area past the sole exit and the outside of the window, so long as I remained in my bedroom and the surveillance continued, I wouldn"t be able to escape.
When I exchanged glances with Granny, who was standing by the entrance of the parlour that led to the hallway, and gave my acknowledgement, Granny opened the inside door.
"……it"s been a while, Melly~"
"I"m pleased to see that you are doing well. How has the Academy been?"
"I am enjoying my time there. Melly seems……your complexion seems a bit bad."
I softly touched my face at elder brother"s words.
It was a bit late even if I tried to smooth things over, so it couldn"t be helped.
"……I heard what happened."
"Of course you did."
Pushing down my irritation, I reflexively laughed.
"Also, there"s still three days until the marriage interview, huh? ……do you still want to run away?"
Precisely because the other party was elder brother, I could not honestly nod at that question.
"I will in turn ask you, but……why did Father suddenly decide on my marriage?"
"I am also unaware of his true intentions…….however, I do think that he must have quite the reason."
"……is it for the Anderson Marquis House?"
"Who knows? I can"t say for sure, but……I do think it is probably something to that effect."
"Then, just what……"
"That, I don"t know. In the end, that"s just my guess after all…….however, based on Father"s actions up until now, I couldn"t possibly imagine him choosing the Anderson Marquis House over Melly."
As if inquiring upon his true meaning, I stared fixedly at elder brother"s face.
Seeing my gaze, elder brother smiled while firmly stating that back.
"The one who has acknowledged Melly"s talent with the sword and felt pride from it more than anyone else, is Father…….that is exactly why I think that he must have quite a big reason for his actions this time."
I ruminated over those words inside my head.
"……even if he has some kind of reason for it, that doesn"t mean anything to me, who doesn"t know that reason, right? In reality, I am not convinced at all with the present state of affairs."
Although, even if I was told the reason, I probably wouldn"t be convinced so easily.
"……now that I think of it, elder brother. Lately, I have had so much free time, that I have been reading books."
Elder brother momentarily displayed confusion at the sudden change in topic.
"Amongst them, there was a single book that I found greatly interesting. The protagonist was the daughter of a certain village"s head, but ever since she was young she enjoyed playing as a seamstress, and eventually she started dreaming of having her own dress designing store. She fell in love with a merchant who she met during the process of that and married him, opposing her parents who were trying to encourage a different engagement for the sake of the village. In the end, the protagonist eloped with that merchant, and became successful as a designer in another country. What does elder brother think of this story?"
The story that I spoke of actually happened.
It may not be something that the daughter of a n.o.ble should be reading, but with the desire to "cultivate my feminine side", it was the result of gathering up anything and everything that was "in" amongst the public.
"I see……it is a story that seems like it would be liked by girls."
At my question, elder brother let out a wry smile.
"I"ll be frank, but since it"s your own life, I think it is fine to choose your own path. As long as you have "resolve and sincerity" in that choice."
"……"resolve and sincerity", is it?"
I involuntarily repeated those words that resounded in my chest.
……"Resolve and Sincerity" was my creed in battle.
The resolve to be killed, and the resolve to kill.
And……because it is impossible to regain those who have been lost, the sincerity to never forget those who were sacrificed.
Because it was something that connected to my internal beliefs, elder brother"s words heavily resounded in my chest.
"Indeed. Whether or not the protagonist desired it, she was born in the house that governs the village. As there wasn"t much description of the village, we don"t know if it"s applicable or not, but……if she was born in that house, then she probably enjoyed a rather good lifestyle amongst the village, right? If that were the case, then that would have been the compensation in exchange for sacrificing herself in the future for the sake of the village"s development. If she was to abandon everything that had been done for her up until then, then she probably should have borne the responsibility of the choice she made. And then, she also had to have had the sincerity to never forget that which had been sacrificed as well…….if she chose her path without bearing all of that, then what she did couldn"t be considered anything other than……a child"s selfishness."
"To call it a sacrifice is quite an interesting way of putting it."
"Is that so? ……In order to gain something, people have to sacrifice something. To give up from the beginning so that you wouldn"t have to sacrifice anything is a folly, but…….though I may say that, it is normal to have things that you cannot do anything about. If you were to speak of that story, then it would be the bonds with her family, the compensation for what the village people paid for, and her future from then on with her companion merchant."
"……her future with her companion merchant?"
"That"s right. If he chose the protagonist, then that merchant naturally had to pay some sort of sacrifice. Just like the protagonist did. For example……if he were the heir to a large store, then it is possible that he also had his own fiancée. If he cast away that engagement to join hands with the protagonist, then he probably wouldn"t be able to return to the store that he was supposed to inherit. In addition……if he headed to a new land, then he may have lost all of the important connections he had created as a merchant. Well, those are just speculations based on the story Mel told me, so we don"t know what the actually settings would have been."
Elder brother"s words gave me no small shock.
Up until now, I thought that it was fine to just bear the responsibilities of my own actions.
However, it was true……even if I was somehow able to run away from the Anderson Marquis House and convey my feelings to him, it would just become a burden to him.
Because the Anderson House"s name was just that large.
Now……could I really permit myself to become his shackles? He, who is working so hard in order to attain the ideals that he holds?
……the answer was no.
I know after all.
Because I listened to him speak of them with his own mouth.
Just how much time he has spent in order to advance towards his goal while performing his duties in a respectable manner.
Despite that, will it be I who closes up his path?
That……that alone is something I do not want to do.
"……Melly?"
Seeing me go silent while furrowing my eyebrows, elder brother called out to me worriedly.
"It is nothing. I would like to think for a while."
"Is that so……?"
"Yes."
Though he didn"t appear very convinced, upon seeing me firmly keeping my mouth shut, he sensed that asking any further would be pointless.
"……no matter what sort of path you choose, I will not blame you."
When he murmured that instead of asking anything else, I raised my head in surprise.
"However, just don"t regret it. Do not become someone that you cannot be proud of. Because if the time comes when all of that occurs……I believe that will be the moment when you have abandoned everything you have cultivated up until then."
"Elder brother……"
"Your figure as you pursed the path of the military arts looked very brilliant to me. I"m sure that inside of you is an unshakeable heart. I always wanted to continue to admire that figure of yours."
His unexpected words rendered me unable to immediately respond.
I could only stupidly keep my mouth open with my jaw dropped foolishly.
"Isn"t it obvious? At the very least, I am the heir to the n.o.ble Anderson Marquis House, you know? There"s no way I wouldn"t admire your talent."
I didn"t know……..that elder brother had thought of me in that manner.
"Elder brother……that, do you not feel that having to inherit the Marquis House is a heavy burden? That you want to abandon it, or run away……have you not ever thought about instead doing something that you have an interest in, such as taking on a position where you could engage in drafting strategies for the army?"
"……saying that I haven"t would be a lie."
Elder brother let out a wry smile at my question.
"However, I have never seriously thought that…….I will eventually bear a large duty with this body of mine. On the other hand, it means that I will be able to possess that large of an authority. I no longer want to lose someone precious to me again like that, and I also do not want to allow anyone else to experience such a loss. If I am to move in order to fulfill that desire even a little, then having such a large authority isn"t a bad thing, right?"
……it was the same.
Elder brother"s wish was the same as the one that I always held in my chest.
Suddenly, an indescribable regret rose in my chest.
At the shock of suddenly having the path obstructed, have I……stubbornly held onto my dream and allowed my field of vision to become narrow?
To begin with, have I not forgotten what my original desire was? ……I thought to myself.
[For example……that"s right. To begin with, why do you plan on entering the Army? First, try thinking from there. Is this not a good opportunity to look back upon yourself using a wide point of view? Was entering the Army your goal, or was it a means to your goal?]
…….indeed, it was like that.
Like that, I spoke to myself internally as if respond to his words from the past.
"Thank you very much, elder brother."
At my sudden thanks, elder brother silently extended his hand and pat my head.
My chest felt warm at that long unfelt sensation.
"……the words I said earlier weren"t a lie. No matter what sort of path you choose, I think that it"s fine as long as you don"t regret it."
Leaving those words behind, elder brother left the room.